A little boy was sitting on the sidewalk eating candy bars. An older gentleman, a control freak, (probably a republican) said "What are you doing"? Kid says, "What's it look like? I'm eating candy bars."
Old guy says "You will never live to be a hundred eating that crap."
Kid says, "My grandfather lived to be well over 100." Old guy says, "He didn't do it by eating candy bars, did he"?
Kid says "No, he did it by minding his own f*****g business."