Hello.

I've lived more or less alone for the last ten years (although I do have a lovely lady who lives not far away). I had never really been on my own, having married young, divorced and fallen straight into another relationship.

I went to live in France, in a caravan. It was so scary - I thought I was lonely, I thought I was paying a price for something or other, I thought I was going to be friendless for the rest of my life. I hated the fact that everything was the same when I came in at night as when I went out in the morning 'cos there was nobody else there, that it was quiet when I was used to be surrounded by noise, kids etc.

Then I discovered this person who had all the resources I needed to live a happy, fulfilled life, who was interesting, experienced, good company, who needed hardly any of the material things I had always thought necessary for life. And this person had always been there. Because it was ME!!

This discovery was the most liberating thing I had ever experienced and has informed my life ever since. It has given me independence, confidence, it means that my relationships are based on want rather than need. I too live in an area that is isolated (as anybody who's been to Squilverfest will attest) and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I'm 52, Helen is 57, we see the world very similarly from our own, independent (in every sense) windows.

Reading this back, it sounds like I'm crowing. I'm not, honest. I also know that other people's experiences won't necessarily help you -you're the only one who can do it for you - but it may help to know that, for some anyway, it works, that even if you can't see it now, there is a light shining for you somewhere (and not the false dawns that may happen along the way).

Good luck beeb. PM any time you feel the need. (And thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears - this is the first time I've put my stuff into words and wouldn't have done without the prompt from your lovely, open, touching thread)