Actually, probably having a cellphone makes more sense anyway, and keeping it turned off unless you want to call out. Still, one wonders what kind of telemarketing might take place in Guam: "Hello, I'd like to speak to the master spider of the house! We have a special on flys with fries, and we do home delivery."

Well, it don't look good for the Roll & Go concert today in Wells at the Historical Society Meetinghouse. There's the Phish Concert up in Caribou and the Lobster Festival in Rockland. Between the two of them there's not going to be a living soul left in York County. Of course it's supposed to rain all day, which means we might catch a few malcontents who are tired of rooting the aisles of the "factory outlets."

And, Barry, I hope you can manage to drag yourself up to the China Sea/Roll & Go Party on 8/16 and croak out a few verses before we have to let you retire to one of the Lazyboy forebitts.

Surely, Brett, there's at least one cruising sloop for sale that survived the typhoons. If not, you can always count on someone showing up with a boat, fresh out of money and anxious to return to familar urban/suburban life.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble