Remember a few fragments:

The missus came in and said "John, get you 'at on,
You know I'm a lady, and will not be spat (sat) on."
Muggins went down, took the whole bloody lot on
Down at the Suicide Arms

And, also, never pronounce it Battersea. It's Ba'ersea. Avoid pronunciation of the letter "t" anywhere in it, if you can, actually.