Youve got the right idea Jeanie...Unfortunately all the wrinklies would be jumping over cliffs the day before their 75th....Amos iv four boys ,all grown and who knows if weve made agood job of them or not.Personally I think kids grow up as"society" wants them to,not as their parents would like.As i think you generalise too much,Ill tell you a wee story about a woman who lived next door when i was young.   She had six children all by different fathers and when asked to marry she always said "No man will rule me". the children were loved more than any others in our area by their mother and certainly returned that love . they all grew up well adjusted and did fine in life.    Iv also seen kids suffer terribly in "bad " marriages...Ake