Sorry, folks. Can't have SpongeBob SquarePants as a candidate for Governor of California because he already has a tentacle tentative commitment.

In the event that the Democratic Party fails to come up with a viable candidate for the 2004 election, I have decided to emulate Paul Wolfowitz, who spent a great deal of time in Texas during the Nineties to groom George W. Bush to become president in 2000. As Wolfowitz did with Bush, I am traveling frequently to Bikini Bottom to work with SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob is obviously a different kind of candidate, he has a large following, and he would definitely offer an alternative to the current administration. It is obvious to all that he is a clean candidate, and he has promised me that if elected, he will use his unique talents to wipe the place clean.

For those who are not familiar with him, here is a portrait of candidate SquarePants and some of those he is considering as possible members of his cabinet. They would certainly be an improvement over the present collection of bottom-feeders! SQUIRT!!

Don (When I said I would back SpongeBob SquarePants if necessary to get the Bush administration out of there, I wasn't kidding, and besides, I love Krabby Patties!) Firth