This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp.Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user- serviceable parts inside.Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all.Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog.Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type.Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors.No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume.Your mileage may vary.Batteries not included.
Proceed with caution. Not a floatation device. No deposit -- no return. If swallowed, induce vomiting. Do not exit - alarm will sound. Use only in well ventilated area. May contain some violent content. Comprised of 100% natural ingredients. Void where prohibited. (urinate in public) The mind is subject to change without notice. No lifeguard on duty -- surf at your own risk. Contents may exhibit some settling during shipment. Some assembly required. (Visual C for everything else) Contents under pressure (Then again, aren't we all!) We are computer professionals, do not try this at home. Ingredients within Federal guidelines pertaining to bug parts and fecal matter. Inappropriate use of firearms may result in injury or death. (e.g., armed robbery) Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using this product. Concealed damage should be reported to the carrier immediately. Machine wash separately in cold water with mild detergent. If you have mailed your payment, disregard this notice. For entertainment purposes only -- please, no wagering. A late fee will be assessed if not paid by due date. Unplug before cleaning, inserting or removing parts. Seek the advice of a medical professional before use. Close cover before striking! (We enjoy violence) Warranty of merchantability or fitness is limited. May not support the weight of a full grown adult. To avoid injury point muzzle in a safe direction. Assemble in strict accordance with instructions. Caution - risk of electric shock - do not open. You must wear protective headgear and eye wear. Not a significant source of dietary fiber. Discontinue use if advised by a physician. Keep hands and feet from beneath device. Rated PG - parental guidance suggested. Minors must be accompanied by a parent. Grandparents must be accompanied by a minor. Discontinue use if irritation results. Allow unit to cool before relamping. No user serviceable parts inside. Do not leave children unattended. Warning -- lifeguard not on duty. Intentional misuse can be fatal. No shirt, no shoes - no problem! Look both ways before crossing. Motorized vehicles prohibited. Stand clear -- moving parts. Caffeine free - low sodium. No smoking within 100 feet. Yield to oncoming traffic. May complicate pregnancy. (But then again, so does sex!) Shake well before using. No sanding required. Watch your step. No pets allowed. Do not discard. Post no bills. No loitering. Use no hooks. Dry clean only. As is, where is. This is not an exit. Buckle up for safety. For external use only. No salesman will call! Enter at your own risk. $700 fine for littering. Handicapped parking only. Checkout time is 12:00 noon. Do not invert while driving. Read warning on back of unit. Made with pride in the U.S.A. Do not puncture or incinerate. Substitutions are not allowed. Do not use near fire or flame. No entry -- severe tire damage. Avoid exposure to laser radiation. Please use before expiration date. Free admission to children under 12. See back of receipt for terms of sale. Avoid breathing dust by pre-moistening. Reformatted to fit your viewing screen. Do not exit aircraft while airborne. (Duh!) You must be a licensed driver to participate. This vehicle stops at all railroad crossings. Violators will be prosecuted. (and visa-versa) May be used only by law enforcement personnel. Product complies with FCC Part 15 regulations. Attention: A garder hors de portee des enfants. Some settling may have occurred during shipment. Keep off the grass. (it is a controlled substance) Not liable for incidental or consequential damages. Senior citizens must show picture I.D. to be served. May result in premature delivery and low birth weight. Failure to complete form may result in severe penalties. Quitting smoking greatly reduces hazardous health risks. You may have other rights which vary from state to state. Remove foil before use. (presumably from a condom package) 10% real fruit juice (and presumably 90% industrial solvents) Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Filing a statement containing false information is considered fraud. Normal operation of safety device may result in injury or death. Report all UFO and black helicopter sightings to H. Ross Perot. This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had it been an actual alert you would have heard bloodcurdling screams!

Always remember this valuable maxim:
No warning label -- or any piece of legislation, for that matter -- can elevate the I.Q. of the label reader, nor can it minimize any inherent risks!

This supersedes all previous notices.