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Subject: info RE: seven old ladies.. From: pr6snc@fs2.ballarat.edu.au Date: 31 Mar 97 - 11:52 PM I am looking for any info RE the old English rugby song, "Seven old ladies". The words to the song and how to act it out would be appreciated. Thanking you in advance Simon Connolly |
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Subject: ADD Version: Seven Old Ladies From: Murray Date: 01 Apr 97 - 03:45 AM Simon, I'm not at all sure how this could be acted out! The mind boggles at the thought, and I've never heard of such a thing. Anyway: look up Ed Cray's excellent "The Erotic Muse" (2nd, improved, edition out quite recently). EC gives notes on the tune and the nursery rhyme, and a text as follows [which the flyleaf assures us is in public domain]. [I abbreviate a bit.] [From first edition] SEVEN OLD LADIES Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Seven old ladies were locked in the lavatory; They were there from Monday 'til Saturday, And nobody knew they were there.
The first old lady was Elizabeth Porter;
The second o/l was Abigail Splatter;
The third o/l was Amelia Garpickle;
The fourth old maiden was Hildegard Foyle;
The fifth o/l was Emily Clancy;
The sixth o/l was extremely fertile,
The seventh o/l was Elizabeth Bender;
The janitor came in the early morning, This is obviously an American text [collated from two from California]--see the rhymes in stanza 7; in Britain "fertile" rhymes with "smile." I have heard only three verses of this beyond the first (which serves as chorus), namely Elizabeth Porter, "the Bishop of Chichester's daughter/ Who only went in to get rid of some water"; Elizabeth Bender, who only went in to fix up her suspender, But it somehow got mixed with her feminine gender"; and [not in the above text] Elizabeth (notice they all have the same forename?) Humphrey, who "only sat down 'cos the seat was so comfy, When she tried to get up, she couldn't get her bum free". I've always thought this was the original way of it, later expanded to seven, the various names and predicaments being varied according to the ingenuity of the singer. [My text heard UK, 1952. There's another text in the British collection "Rugby Songs", edited it seems by Harry Morgan, published in London, Sphere Books, 1967 [and a reprint or two]--page 118, "Seven Old Ladies", which has the Bishop of Chichester's daughter, Abigail Humphrey, and Elizabeth Spender, and four others, including "old Mrs. Bickle" who hadn't a nickel. I can copy this if you like. I bet there are about as many variations on this productive theme as there are singers. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SEVEN OLD LADIES From: BillD Date: 01 Apr 97 - 10:25 AM Here's something I copied from the rec.music.folk newsgroup several weeks ago...I 'dump' it just as I got it...it had some stuff new to me...have fun. (When I first started singing this 30 yrs ago, we were already up to about 9 or 10 old ladies) In answer to the original post, here is what I've accumulated over the years. Does anyone have the rhyme for the two partial verses down at the end? I heard them on a ski bus trip years ago and only remembered half.
SEVEN OLD LADIES Time: 3/4 Tenor: D Bass: C CHORUS:
The next to come in was Abigail Humphrey
The third old lady was old Mrs. Bickle
The next to come in was Elizabeth Spender
The fifth old lady was Abigail Prim
The next to come in was Elizabeth Carter
The last to come in was dear Mrs. Mason
The janitor came in on Saturday morning
NOTES:
SYMBOLS:
CHORDS (Number System):
The first one's name was Elizabeth Porter
The **** to come in was old Mrs Flynn
The **** old lady was Emily Clancy
The **** to come in, it was old Mrs. Draper
The **** was the wife of a Deacon in Dover
The **** old lady was extremely fertile
The **** old maiden was Hildegard Foyle
The **** old lady was Eloise Geck
The **** old lady was Emily Clancy
The *** old lady was Mrs. McBligh
The **** to go in was old Mrs. Murray
The **** to come in was old Mrs. Brewster
The **** old lady was old Mrs. Hart
The **** old lady was old Mrs. Hemingway Sort of like "Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer," isn't it!
- Barrie
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Subject: RE: info RE: seven old ladies.. From: gargoyle (Golgart) Date: 03 Apr 97 - 12:43 AM Working as a guide in the North Maine Woods one summer, I had the pleasure of canoeing with a crew of Scouts from the British Isles for two weeks. This was one of their favorite songs. A couple variants are close to same words but:
"...Mrs. John Brewster,
"The last one in was old Mrs. Draper, |
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Subject: ZDTStudy: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,Longbeach cutey Date: 05 Aug 02 - 08:34 PM Help! An old high school teacher of mine in Norwalk used to sing this song! I can't remember the words! cutey Seven Old Ladies in the Digital TraditionSEVEN OLD LADIES Oh, dear, what can the matter be Seven old ladies got locked in the lavat'ry They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday Nobody knew they were there The first to come in was the minister's daughter (The first was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter) She went in to pass some superfluous water She pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught her And nobody knew she was there The next to come in was dear Mrs. Mason The stalls were all full so she pissed in the basin And that is the water that I washed my face in And nobody knew she was there The third old lady was Amelia Garpickle; Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle. She hurdled the door; she'd forgotten her nickel, And nobody knew she was there The forth to come was old Mrs. Humphrey She shifted and jiggled to get herself comfy Then to her dismay, she could not get her bum free And nobody knew she was there The fifth to come in, it was old Mrs. Draper She sat herself down, and then found there was no paper She had to clean up with a plasterer's scraper And nobody knew she was there The sixth old lady was Emily Clancy; She went there 'cause something tickled her fancy, But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy And nobody knew she was there The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Bender; She went there to repair a broken suspender. (But how in the world she got a suspender) It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender, (Caught up in the site of the feminine gender) And nobody knew she was there ( I 'aven't the slightest idea.) The janitor came in the early morning. He opened the door without any warning, The seven old ladies their seats were adorning, And nobody knew they were there. alt: (The __ old lady was Abigail Quimm Who crossed her legs on a personal whim, But her thigh got caught twixt the bowl and the rim And nobody knew she was there.) (parenthetical additions by RG @bawdy filename[ SEVENOLD Tune file : ODEARWHA CLICK TO PLAY BR
PLEASE NOTE: Because of the volunteer nature of The Digital Tradition, it is difficult to ensure proper attribution and copyright information for every song included. Please assume that any song which lists a composer is copyrighted ©. You MUST aquire proper license before using these songs for ANY commercial purpose. If you have any additional information or corrections to the credit or copyright information included, please e-mail those additions or corrections to us (along with the song title as indexed) so that we can update the database as soon as possible. Thank You. From the Traditional Ballad Index: Seven Old LadiesDESCRIPTION: Seven old ladies, to the tune of "Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be," encounter various difficulties in the lavatory.AUTHOR: unknown EARLIEST DATE: KEYWORDS: humorous scatological age derivative FOUND IN: Australia Britain(England) US(MA,SW) REFERENCES (2 citations): Cray, pp. 119-122, "Seven Old Ladies" (1 text, 1 tune) DT, SEVENOLD* Roud #10227 CROSS-REFERENCES: cf. "Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be" (tune & meter) File: EM119 Go to the Ballad Search form The Ballad Index Copyright 2011 by Robert B. Waltz and David G. Engle. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: John Hindsill Date: 05 Aug 02 - 08:58 PM Dear G,LBC Are you thinking of a naughty [bg] varient of "Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be"? It starts, "Oh dear, what can the matter be, seven old ladies locked in a lavatory, they were there from Sunday to Saturday, nobody knew they were there." The song then describes each old lady. As I have not heard nor sung this ditty in more than 40 years, I cannot remember the rest of it...but, for sure, somebody will, here. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: MMario Date: 05 Aug 02 - 09:16 PM Seven Old Ladies is in the DT - if you click on the link it will take you to the lyrics. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SEVEN OLD LADIES From: masato sakurai Date: 05 Aug 02 - 09:36 PM Another version.
SEVEN OLD LADIES
Chorus:
The first old lady was 'Lizabeth Porter;
The second old lady was Abigail Splatter.
The third old lady was Amelia Garpickle;
The fourth old maiden was Hildegard Foyle;
The fifth old lady was Emily Clancy;
The sixth old lady was Elizabeth Bender;
The janitor came in the early morning.
From: Ed Cray, The Erotic Muse, 2nd ed. (U of Illinois Pr., 1992, pp. 119-120) ~Masato
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,LONGBeach gal Date: 06 Aug 02 - 03:48 AM Thanks for these words! My teacher used to sing something about Elizabeth Draper eating paper! Oh, I see it now! That DT is nifty! Thanks, me |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Jeanie Date: 06 Aug 02 - 05:20 AM While you're at it, have a look at the Five Constipated Men - they're in the DT, too ! - jeanie |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca Date: 06 Aug 02 - 07:19 AM HEre are the other threads including one of the oldest in the Forum: Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: EBarnacle1 Date: 06 Aug 02 - 10:43 AM Part of another verse I used to hear is: The _____ old lady was the bishop of Chichester's Daughter, She pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught 'er [I don't remember the other line, but] Nobody knew she was there. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Walter Corey Date: 06 Aug 02 - 10:50 AM The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter She went in to pass some superfluous water She pulled on the chain & the rising tide caught 'er & nobody knew she was there |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca Date: 06 Aug 02 - 02:42 PM Barnacle & Walter, It's in the DT version (alternate for the first verse) as well as in a couple of the threads.
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: SINSULL Date: 06 Aug 02 - 05:13 PM Bert treated us to this at Annamill's. Can't be two years ago... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Wincing Devil Date: 06 Aug 02 - 06:10 PM There was a verse about Margaret Thatcher, but I can't remember the particulars... |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie Date: 07 Aug 02 - 07:09 AM The next old lady was little miss Mason, The toilets were locked, so she used the hand-basin. That's the one, that YOU washed your face in, and nobody.... |
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Subject: ADD Versions: SEVEN OLD LADIES From: masato sakurai Date: 07 Aug 02 - 08:12 AM From This French site, with "Seven Old Gentlemen".
Titre de la chanson : Seven old ladies (oh dear what can the matter be)
-- Tune: Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be)
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
They said they were going to have tea with the Vicar,
The first was the wife of a Deacon in Dover,
The next old lady was old Mrs Bickle,
The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter,
The next old lady was Abigail Humphrey,
The next old lady was Elizabeth Spender,
The last was a lady named Jennifer Trim,
But another old lady was Mrs McBligh,
The janitor[1] came in early one morning,
[1] UK versions say 'caretaker' in place of 'janitor' -- Variant verses:
The -th was the wife of a deacon in Dover,
The -th old lady was Mrs McNicholl,
The -th old lady was Lizabeth Biddle,
The -th old lady was Rosemary Madder,
The -th old lady was Hildegard Foyle,
The -th old lady was Julia Porter,
The -th old lady was Eleanor Slaughter,
The -th old lady was Emily Clancy,
The -th was called Elizabeth Liszt,
But another old lady was Mrs McBligh,
The -th old lady was Elizabeth Spender,
The -th was a lady named Lillian Pym,
The -th old lady was Janet McGrew,
Another old lady was Marjorie Stump,
The -th old lady was Emily Shaw,
The -th old lady was Monica Fitz, -- Schoolyard version
Oh dear what can the matter be?
The first was called Elizabeth Porter,
-- also:
Oh dear what can the matter be? Seven old gentlemen (oh dear what can the matter be) -- Tune: Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be -- Male version of Seven Old Ladies/Six Old Ladies/Three Old Ladies
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
They said they were going to have tea with the Vicar,
The first was the sailor who'd come up from Dover,
The next old gentleman was Mr Bickle,
The next old chap was Timothy Humphrey,
The next old chappie was Anthony Spender,
Another old gent was called Marmaduke Biddle,
The last was a gent known only as Tim,
But another old gentleman, Freddy McBligh,
The janitor[1] came in early one morning,
[1] UK versions say 'caretaker' in place of 'janitor'
-- Variant verses:
The -th old chappie was Mr McNicholl,
The -th old bloke was called Sam-u-el Madder,
The -th old bloke was named Percival Foyle,
The -th old man he was Wilberforce Clancy,
The -th old man was Cornelius Liszt,
The -th old fellow was Mr McBligh,
The -th was a fellow named Cameron Dick,
The -th old gentlemen Barney McGrew,
Another old gent there was Antony Stump,
The -th old fellow was Joshua Shaw,
The -th old fellow was Brian O'Fitz, ~Masato |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SEVEN OLD DEMOCRATS From: masato sakurai Date: 07 Aug 02 - 11:38 AM There's a parody of a parody (from HERE).
The Seven Old Democrats (1972)
After Watergate, the American Public was not obliged to accept Republican wrongheadedness. An alternative was offered in the form of Democrat Total Confusion. A lot of things went wrong at that Democrat Convention.
The name of the first one was Hubert H. Humphrey.
The next was a Senator Muskie from Maine.
The name of the next one was Eugene McCarthy
The name of the next one was Georgie McGovern.
The name of the next one was Wilbur D. Mills
Next came John Lindsay from New York's fair city
The name of the next one was Senator Jackson
And one afterthought was Senator Kennedy. ~Masato |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Charley Noble Date: 07 Aug 02 - 05:43 PM Masato-amazing what happens round here when someone pulls the right chain. Reminds me of that old song I once wrote entitled "Justice en Lieu," a true story about a Maine district judge who got trapped in his own private chamber. You should be able to find my posting in some sort of thread search if you're interested. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Charley Noble Date: 07 Aug 02 - 05:58 PM Try a thread search for "justice en lieu;" I've revived the old "Toilet Humor" thread after I couldn't find the song in a search with "Justice en Lieu." I'll never figure out this search system. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Bill D Date: 08 Aug 02 - 12:01 PM talk about an excess of goodies....now HOW can I sing **SEVEN** old ladies again, when I now have 38 to choose from..*grin*...40 years ago, we KNEW the song.... "A man with a good watch always know what time it is...a man with two watches is never sure" |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,Lynn Date: 11 Apr 10 - 09:19 AM There was a version I head as a little kid (again about 50 years ago) that included a lady named Keller, the (pot) didn''t work, but they didn't tell her, she flushed it and went clear to the celler, and nobody knew she was there. There was also a verse about a lady whose name rhymed with sooner. . The ( )th old lady (something 'ooner) went to the bathroom and wisedh she'd gone sooner. The verse about Mrs. Draper went that she went in and found no paper, not even a corn cob could she find, and nobody knew she was there. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,SadieHawkins Date: 05 Aug 11 - 02:10 AM The -th one was a lady named Myrtle Jumped over the top like a steeplechase hurdle, Got her glasses caught in the hook of her girdle, And nobody knew she was there. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: Tiger Date: 05 Aug 11 - 05:43 PM Two others I use as part of my seven: The next to go in was old Mrs Murray Who came through the door in a hell of a hurry By the time she got there it was too late to worry... The second old lady was dear Mrs Brewster Whose eyes didn't see quite as well as they used-ter She sat on the handle and swore someone goosed her... Plus: Chichester's daughter, Humphrey, Garpickle, Bender, Humphrey, Draper ...just be sure you sing exactly seven :) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,Jim I Date: 05 Aug 11 - 09:14 PM Seems like this needs an ending - I use this one. They said they were going to have tea with the vicar They went in together, they thought it was quicker But the lavatory door was a bit of a sticker And the vicar had tea all alone |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Seven Old Ladies From: GUEST,Lighter Date: 06 Aug 11 - 10:24 AM I seem to remember that Oscar Brand claimed in the 1990s that he'd been personally responsible for the increase in the number of ladies from the traditional three to a spectacular seven. He seems first to have recorded the song in the 1950s. |
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Subject: Jim J From: Tiger Date: 06 Aug 11 - 01:02 PM That's really the first stanza. The ending I use is: The janitor came in on Saturday morning He opened the door without any warning The seven old ladies their seats were adorning And nobody knew they were there |
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Subject: Lyr Add: 16 OLD LADIES LOCKED IN THE LAVATORY From: Jim Dixon Date: 18 Aug 17 - 09:29 AM Who knew this had ever been recorded? This occupied both sides of a 78-rpm "party" record. You can hear it at The Internet Archive, Part 1 and Part 2. 16 OLD LADIES LOCKED IN THE LAVATORY As recorded by Herbi Hardt and his Jesters, 1949. [Part 1] [First chorus:] The old ladies locked in a lavat'ry, They were there from Monday till Saturday. Oh, dear! What can the matter be? Nobody knew they were there. The first old lady, Elizabeth Bickel, Went to the washroom in a heck of a pickle, For she had forgotten to bring in a nickel, And nobody knew she was there. [Second and subsequent choruses:] Oh, dear! What can the matter be? The old ladies locked in a lavat'ry, They were there from Monday till Saturday. Nobody knew they were there. The second old lady, Elizabeth Bender, Went in to fix a busted suspender. It snapped back and hit her feminine gender, And ev'ryone knew she was there. [Chorus] The third old lady, Elizabeth Draper, Went to the washroom in a very light caper, And when she got there, she found no paper, Not even a corncob there. [Chorus] The fourth old lady, Elizabeth Twitter, Went to the washroom all a-jitter, Sat down on her teeth and you know where they bit 'er, And ev'ryone knew she was there. [Chorus] The fifth old lady, Elizabeth Humphrey, When she sat down she found it so comfy, But when when she got up, she couldn't get her rump free, And nobody knew she was there. [Chorus] The sixth old lady, Elizabeth Moos, Not very tall, but what a caboose! Didn't know she went in until she let loose. Heck, then ev'rybody knew she was there. [Chorus] The seventh old lady, Elizabeth Crown, Her dress went up and it wouldn't come down, And ev'ryone said: "Isn't that Fanny Brown?" But Fanny was nowhere around. [Chorus] The eighth old lady, Elizabeth Spooner, Went in to see what was caught in her bloomer, And when she got there, she wished she'd gone sooner, And nobody knew they were there. [First chorus] [Part 2] [First chorus] The ninth old lady, Elizabeth Schmauz, She went in as still as a mouse, But then she was heard all over the house, And ev'ryone knew she was there. [Second chorus] The tenth old lady, Elizabeth Wren, Ev'ry few minutes she got a yen, Got in the wrong door and had to stand with the men, And all the men thought it was rare. [Chorus] The eleventh old lady, Elizabeth Wooster, Couldn't see as good as she used ter, Sat on the handle and thought someone goosed 'er, And nobody knew she was there. [Chorus] The twelfth old lady, Elizabeth Keller, The plumbing was faulty but they didn't tell 'er. She pulled the chain and went through to the cellar, And nobody knew she was there. [Chorus] The thirteenth old lady, Elizabeth Master, Went to the washroom a little bit faster, Got caught in the door and had a disaster, And ev'ryone knew she was there. [Chorus] The fourteenth old lady, Elizabeth Fink, Went in the washroom just to primp, And when she came out, oh boy, did she feel better! And nobody knew she was there. [Chorus] The fifteenth old lady, Elizabeth Meeker, Along in years, control a bit weaker, Got as far as the door and [whistle] let a sneaker, And nobody knew she was there. [Chorus] The sixteenth old lady, Elizabeth Smart, Ev'ry few minutes to the washroom would dart, And all she could do was sit there and read, And nobody knew she was there. [First chorus] |
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Subject: RE: DTStudy: Seven Old Ladies From: Lighter Date: 18 Aug 17 - 10:54 AM Odd that this song, which is about nothing much beyond elderly women and their bodily waste products, should have been so terrifically popular, especially in elaborately extended versions. Three stanzas, OK. But seven, sixteen, or more? |
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Subject: RE: DTStudy: Seven Old Ladies From: Lighter Date: 25 Sep 19 - 01:26 PM Eric Jackson,"Petrol in My Blood "(Lulu.com: 2012): “I said [to Liberace], ‘I bet that you’ve never been asked to play 'Three Old Ladies Locked in a Lavatory.’ He looked a little taken aback and said he’d never heard of it. ‘In a lavat’ry?’ he asked. I sang the words to him and he fell about laughing. Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Three old ladies are locked in the lavatory They were there from Monday to Saturday. Nobody knew they were there. They promised to go and have tea with the vicar They went in together, they thought it was quicker, The lock on the door was a bit of a sticker The vicar had tea on his own. CHORUS The first old lady her name was Miss Porter She was the Bishop of Chichester’s daughter, She went in to get rid of superfluous water From drinking two bottles of gin. CHORUS The second old lady her name was Miss Wender She went in to adjust her suspender She got it caught up in her feminine gender And that was an awkward affair. CHORUS The third old lady, her name was Miss Pumfrey She tried very hard to get her bum free She said, ‘Leave me here, it’s so cosy and comfy The vicar had tea on his own. CHORUS " |
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