Lyr Req: Talking Guitar Blues

Subject: Talking guitar blues????
From: Jeep man
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 05:03 PM

This is probably not the correct name. The first lines are:

If you want to get it trouble, I"ll tell you how to do it.
Just buy a guitar and then you're into it.

Somebody out there should know this. I Hope. Jeep Man

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKING GUITAR BLUES
From: kendall
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 06:52 PM

This was recorded years ago by Hank Snow among others...

---

TALKING GUITAR BLUES

If you want to get in trouble, I'll tell you how to do it.
Get a guitar, and then you're into it.
You play all day, and you play all night.
The folks say, "He'll never learn to play that thing right."
Always griping. won't let you practice.

I bought my guitar some time ago.
The man said I'd learn in a week or so,
Gave me a book and a pick or two,
Said, "Now boy, it's up to you."
The dirty dog, wish I could find him now. Cost me 4.95 too.

Well, nevertheless I'd spent my dough,
And I couldn't let it go to waste, you know,
So I took that book, guitar and all,
And went back home where the trees are tall,
Way down in Tennessee. Good place to be when you've got a guitar.

I labored long and labored hard,
Trying to learn a few main chords.
The book said 'twas easy as ABC,
But brother, my fingers were killing me.
Got sore right on the ends, couldn't mash the strings down, felt disgusted.

For weeks and weeks I labored away.
I could see ma's hair was turning gray.
She felt nervous, ears ringing,
Wanted to scream or scram, I don't know which.

My sister, she took it the worst of all,
'Cause she got married that coming fall.
She said, for love, but, I have my doubts.
I think the guitar just chased her out,
But, she wouldn't admit it. Game girl, just couldn't take it, that's all.

My old man took it a different way,
Said, "You may turn your ma's hair gray
And drive your sister away from home,
But, sonny, either you or I's gonna start to roam,
And I'm not leaving. Now, you figure it out yourself."

So, the very next morning when my clothes were packed,
I slung that guitar across my back
To search the world for my share of fame,
But, all I found was heartaches, hand outs.
Fellas, ya better leave them guitars alone.


This is from memory, so, hope it's right.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Crowhugger
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 07:45 PM

Which Hank Snow album can it be found on?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Jeep man
Date: 16 Feb 00 - 09:46 PM

Thanks, Kendall. I think this will do just fine. Jeepman

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:10 AM

Lonnie Donegan slightly Anglicised it for his version but it is substantially the same.
RtS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: GUEST,cStu
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 06:23 PM

Lonnie Donegan's version gives the author as 'Tubb'. A little googling leads to "Ernest Tubb's Talking Blues"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 05:31 PM

Cisco Houston recorded Talking Guitar Blues for Vanguard in 1961, a few weeks before he died of stomach cancer. Vanguard released it on I Ain't Got No Home, a posthumous LP of his last sessions. The only attribution of authorship is "Additional words by Cisco Houston." There is no indication of who wrote the original words to which Cisco added his own.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: GUEST,effsee sans cookie
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 06:31 PM

It is also on Steve Kaufman's 1997 album "Bullet Train" coupled with "blackberry Blossom". Sleeping Bear Productions, 022497. Recommended!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Bru
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 07:27 PM

Lonnie Donegan's version was on the B side of San Miguel - a 45 single I've still got somewhere.

I always preferred Josh McCrae's Talkin' Army Blues, which came out a year or so later.

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKING GUITAR BLUES
From: Teribus
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 11:15 AM

The Josh McCrae's version went something like this:

TALKING GUITAR BLUES

If you want to get in trouble I'll tell you how to do it
Just get a guitar, and then you're into it
You play all day, and you play all night, folks say,
You'll never learn to play it right, always fussin' at you,
Wont let you practice, tryin' to run you out into the henhouse."

Well I bought a guitar about a year ago,
The man said I'd learn in a week or so,
And he gave me a little book and a pick or two
And said "There it's Bub, it's up to you." That dirty dog,
Cost me all the money I had, $4.95, Cotton pickin' money too

Well,never the less I'd spent my dough,
And I couldn't let it go to waste you know,
So, I took the little book, guitar and all
Went back home where the grass grows tall, way down there in Missouri.
Good place to be if y've got a guitar, awful if y' ain't

Now for weeks and weeks I laboured hard
To try and learn those few main chords
The book said its easy as ABC, but oh my fingers was killin' me.
Got sore right on the ends, couldn't mash the strings down,
Wanted to quit, felt disgusted.

Well I kept on playin' with all ma might,
And I could see Ma's hair was turning white,
Her face was lined with discontent,
said her patience was pretty nigh spent
She's nervous, agitated, wanted to scream.

My sister, she took it the worst of all
'Cause she got married that coming fall
She said, for love, but, I have my doubts
I think that guitar chased her out
She's a game girl just couldn't take it.

Now Pa he took it in a different way
He said son y' may turn your Ma's hair grey
And chase your sister away from home
But either you or me's boy's gonna roam
And, I ain't leavin', never intended to, you figure it out

So, the next day after ma clothes was packed
I slung that guitar across my back
I went off and I caught me a long freight train
To search the world for my share of fame
I ain't found any, just hardships, heartaches, hand outs

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 04:09 AM

Anglicised lonnie Donegan version here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Bru
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 12:37 PM

I'd totally forgotten about Josh McCrae's version of Talking Guitar Blues, although it was on the B side of Talkin Army Blues, and I must of listened to it. Getting on for 50 years now; record's long gone - just like my memory - but I do still have a recording of the A side.

I'll post the lyrics to talking Army Blues later on.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Escapee
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 02:20 PM

Didn't Oscar Brand record this, too?

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKIN' ARMY BLUES
From: Teribus
Date: 05 Sep 08 - 10:44 AM

Talikin' Army Blues

Sittin' with ma guitar playin' the blues
Heard the Postman comin' he was bringin' bad news
Got a letter said better get out of that civilian rut
There's vacant bed awaiting in an Army hut
I'm a man of few words didn't say nothin' much I just fainted.

When a came to I told Mom and Dad
But they didn't take it so very bad
Dad said remember one thing son and you'll get by
Keep your boots polished and yer powder dry
Least that's what my old commander used to say
And he got to be President or something like that

When Ma got down to packin' ma stuff
She said are you sure three pairs of Long Johns is goin' to be enough
I said I thought that ought to do
As I wasn't intendin' wearin' 'em anyhow
Too darned itchy, you have to scratch
Pretty good for polishing boots with though

When I went off to catch ma train
I said goodbye to Mom 'n' Dad 'n' Jane
Jane said she'd wait for me till Hell froze
Sure must have been a cold winter

Got to the station without any harm
There's this fella there with a band on his arm
Said MP on it, didn't talk like no politician though
He said "Hey you, country hick which way you headed Circle B or Oswaldvick"
I said "man I'm just looking for the Army which way did it go"
He said "Oh a funny man, well we've got a way with funny men in the Army"
He was right.

I took a lorry to the camp lined up and marched in
There was a big fat fella with a double-chin
Gave us some double-talk about not steppin' out o' line
And writing letters to your MP 'n' stuff like that
Which I thought was kinda mean of him
But then he was a mean fella called himself an RSM
Never did discover what a Retired School Master
Was doin' in the Army

Well they took me away and they cut off m' hair
And they gave me a convict suit to wear
With a pair of boots sized twenty-two
And stuck needles in me till I was black 'n' blue
Feelin' miserable. Then they decided that I needed exercise

So the Sergeant took me and the rest of the boys
And He showed us one of life's greatest joys, Marchin'
We marched up and down and round and round
Till the blood in m' head was beginnin' to pound
And m' legs was beginnin' to fray at the ends
And I was thinkin' of shootin' m' self, or the Sergeant.

Then I thought I might work m' ticket
But workin' your ticket's a hard thing to do
You can talk to the doctor till yer face is blue
'Cos the MO don't care about hammered toes,
homesickness or any of those
His idea is that you're in the Army it's such a healthy life
Cures of almost anything - even lying
He's another one just like the Sergeant - Mean
I guess they're just a pair of disillusioned idealists.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: GUEST,Ewan McVicar
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 06:00 PM

Well, here's a thing. I wrote this song, Talking Army Blues, in 1959. Josh, my friend, put it on the B side of his Talking Guitar Blues recording, in direct competition with Donegan. When the disc came out, my song was preferred by the reviewers, and Top Rank reversed the sides!
I got a message a few days ago seeking the words, and answered that I did not have a typed out version. The above has a verse, about Long Johns, that I had forgotten writing. A couple of understandable errors, Teribus [a Hawick person, I guess?].
"Hey you, country hick, you headed for Thirkleby or Osbaldwick?"
"hammer toes"
"cure you of anything - even life"
After Josh recorded it I changed the RSM line to be Regional Scout Master.
Wher Josh said 'mean' in the last verse, I say 'a bastard'.
I shall send a link to this discussion to the guy who was seeking the lyric.
Hurrah for Mudcat.
Ewan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking guitar blues????
From: Gene
Date: 13 Sep 08 - 12:16 PM

The Geezinslaw Brothers {aka Sam & Son} also recorded this song.

and to my way of thinking, with a little more feeling than just
"mouthing the words", as a few artists did.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Talking Guitar Blues
From: paulwatts
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:58 AM

Hi Bru
You said you had a copy in some form of Talkin Army Blues by Josh McCrae. Any chance of getting hold of an MP3 of it, please, as I've been looking for it for a while? My e-mail is [e-mail]. Many thanks.
Regards
Paul