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Subject: Obit: banjo jokes From: tuggy mac Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:14 PM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'A mate of mine told me of a concert he was doing in ireland and the sound technician said to the banjo player,"IVE TRIED MY BEST BUT NO MATTER HOW I TRy TO TUNE IT IT STILL SOUNDS LIKE A BANJO! True story. Anymore out there? |
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Subject: RE: Obit: banjo jokes From: tuggy mac Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:22 PM P s. Another time there was an old irish chap enjoying a session ,and he listened carfully to the tenor banjo and when the tune ended he turned to the player and asked did you not like that tune? Yes why ? Was the reply from the banjo player. You seemed in an awful hurry to get through it thats all! Was the reply from the old man. Another true story from my mate. |
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Subject: RE: Obit: banjo jokes From: tuggy mac Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:35 PM ? |
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Subject: RE: Obit: banjo jokes From: Noreen Date: 23 Sep 03 - 01:36 PM Obit? |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 23 Sep 03 - 10:27 PM I thought this thread meant that there were to be no more banjo jokes... Robin |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 23 Sep 03 - 11:35 PM Waht do you call a man with a banjo on his head? Answer =Dave. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 02 Oct 03 - 10:21 PM I got it rong, his name is not dave, it's Dug. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST Date: 03 Oct 03 - 04:50 AM erinmaidin: "What does it mean when the banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth at the same time?" It means the stage is level. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Hovering Bob Date: 03 Oct 03 - 05:22 AM For Banjo jokes, rattle Leadfinger's cage. If it's been written or said, he'll know it! |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST,banjoman Date: 03 Oct 03 - 05:38 AM All banjo jokes should be reassigned to melodeons but here's one anyway: Melodeon player working on building site stops for lunch. Opens lunch box and shouts " Not ham sandwiches again - if I get ham sandwiches again I'll kill myself" Next day - lunch time - opens box - ham sandwiches - throws himself under the nearest bus and is killed. Some days later at funeral - wife says to mourners " I really can't understand why he did it - he always makes his own sandwiches" Longer version also available. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Raggytash Date: 03 Oct 03 - 10:18 AM That last contribution tell's us something about why there are banjo jokes in the first place |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: breezy Date: 03 Oct 03 - 10:27 AM what do you call a girl on the banjoist's arm Tattoo |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST,Chris Nixon Date: 03 Oct 03 - 10:42 AM Definition of perfect pitch: When you throw a melodeon in a skip and it lands on two banjos... (and yes, I do play both) KYBTTS Chris |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: BanjoRay Date: 03 Oct 03 - 01:58 PM What's the main disadvantage of being banjo player? - you've heard ALL the banjo jokes at least 30 times, and they stopped being even slightly amusing years ago. And they're usually told by bad squeezebox players and bodhran thumpers. Ray |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: NH Dave Date: 03 Oct 03 - 07:34 PM If you throw a banjo and a set of pipes over a cliff, which lands first. Who cares as long as you've thrown BOTH of them. Dave |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Oct 03 - 05:45 AM What's the main disadvantage of being an accordion player? - you've heard ALL the accordion jokes at least 30 times, and they stopped being even slightly amusing years ago. And they're usually told by bad banjo players and bodhran thumpers. :-) Robin |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Oct 03 - 05:47 AM What's the main disadvantage of being a bodhran player? - you've heard ALL the bodhran jokes at least 30 times, and they stopped being even slightly amusing years ago. And they're usually told by bad squeezebox players and banjo players. :-) Robin |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Tam the Bam (Nutter) Date: 04 Oct 03 - 06:51 AM I'm a bodhran player and a guitar player And I'm now looking to buy a Banjo oh I have an Accordion as well. So when people start to make jokes about Banjo/Bodhran/Accordion players and then they ask if any are in, I can put my hand up to all three, and that will really screw them up(Hopefully). Luckly I don't play the Accordion in Public because I'm shit at playing the Accordion, however I'm no bad at the Bordhran or the Guitar, I don't do the finger picking becasue I can't really do it. Tom |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Celtaddict Date: 04 Oct 03 - 08:35 AM In the American South a common question is, what is the definition of a true Southern Gentleman? He is someone who can play BOTH accordion and banjo. And doesn't. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: JohnInKansas Date: 04 Oct 03 - 10:08 PM A banjo He says the rest of those stories are all true. John |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Oct 03 - 06:26 AM A gentleman is someone who brings a banjo to a session and doesnt play it-- A Bastard is somone who brings a banjo to a session and gives it to someone else to play. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Alaska Mike Date: 05 Oct 03 - 09:58 AM What's the difference between a banjo player and a mutual fund: The mutual fund will eventually mature and earn a profit. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST Date: 05 Oct 03 - 10:10 AM What's the difference between a banjo and an onion? no one cries when you slice up a banjo....hehe! |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Guy Wolff Date: 05 Oct 03 - 04:17 PM I love the sound of Banjos acordians and Bagpipes ( Humm<><<> At the same time ?? well OK ). This is my faverite banjo joke.. "WHats the difference between a Banjo and a chain-saw???" "The cahainsaw has more dinamic range." BA BUMP BUMP but seriously folks <><>>>>>>>, |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Oct 03 - 08:09 PM OK Here's one for the Bikers AND the Musos :- Whats the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Banjo ??? You CAN tune a Banjo. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Steve Latimer Date: 05 Oct 03 - 08:32 PM THe difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? One's loud, ugly and obnoxious, the other is a bird. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST,banjoman Date: 06 Oct 03 - 07:02 AM Another one just sprung to mind: What's the difference between a (banjo) melodeon and a Foot Spar ? A Foot Spar bucks up the feet - think about it |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST Date: 06 Oct 03 - 10:05 AM What is a foot spar? Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: nickp Date: 06 Oct 03 - 10:46 AM Dave - Foot Spa (as I understand it) a vibrating and possibly heated water container for soaking tired feet in. Now I suppose one could put water in the back of a banjo resonator and heat it up....... |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: BanjoRay Date: 06 Oct 03 - 10:54 AM Well Nick. I didn't think you'd start contributing to this disgraceful thread! Now, about mandolins...... Cheers Ray |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: Bob Hitchcock Date: 06 Oct 03 - 01:06 PM Most jokes are transferable to any instrument of choice and there are very large databases available through the internet with all of them listed. My favorite, which I originally heard as a Banjo joke is :- What is the one phrase you never hear in a Studio? "Is that the Banjo player's Porsche parked outside" he he he. |
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Subject: RE: banjo jokes From: GUEST,Len Wallace Date: 06 Oct 03 - 01:32 PM Okay, okay, I can't resist. From an accordion player ( and I HAVE heard all the accordion jokes . . . and i also Love them). The WORST and MEANEST banjo joke in the world: How many banjo players does it take to eat a possum? Two. One to eat the possum and one to look for the headlights coming down the road. Why do banjo players put their banjos on the dashboard of their cars? In order to park in the handicapped parking spots. a banjo/accordion joke: When you go into a parking lot how can you tell which car is owned by a professional banjo/accordion player? It's the one with the Dominoes Pizza box on the aerial. Len Wallace |
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