Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him

Subject: Lyr Add: MY HUSBAND'S GOT NO PORRIDGE IN HIM^^
From: Wolfgang
Date: 20 Jan 99 - 03:06 PM

AndyG asked for this parody more than a year ago. I didn't want to bury it in that old thread, so here's a new thread for it. Les Barker has written it. I think it's obvious what the original is. Les Barker's page is well worth a visit as is buying his records and songbooks. He has written many parodies on folk songs, but also on pop songs. I'll post as well his parody on the Wild Rover (Wild Major) in that thread and his parody on "The January Man" in an extra thread. That should be enough to get the idea.

Wolfgang

MY HUSBAND'S GOT NO PORRIDGE IN HIM
(Les Barker)

As I walked out one may morning
To view the fields and the leaves a-springing
I saw three bears come sailing in
And mother bear her hands was wringing;
Oh dear oh.
Oh dear oh.
My husband's got no porridge in him.
Oh dear oh.

His Quaker Oats I did supply;
I put three plates upon the table
But someone else was in the house
And ate as much as they was able-,
Oh dear oh....

One plate hot and one plate cold
And one plate somewhere in between 'em.
Someone had the bloomin' lot;
I didn't even have to clean 'em; Oh dear oh...

Three empty plates, and never think
To save a little for the needy;
No; the hot stuffs down the sink
The cold has blocked the soddin' bidet.
Oh dear oh...

My husband sits in his armchair
And gazes out at the infinite-,
But when he came back home today
Someone had been sitting in it;
Oh dear oh;...

There was no tea left in the pot;
Someone had been in and drank it;
Then I went into his room
And found a blonde beneath the blanket;
Oh dear oh;...

I went and I confronted him;
He played the innocent; what's more, he
Said she must have broken in;
Well, what a bloody fairy story;
Oh dear oh;...

I'm going home to mother's house
And as for him, I'll not be fretting;
He'll get his own tea now, the louse;
That's all the oats that he'll be getting.
Oh dear oh;...^^

---

See My Husband's Got No Courage In Him
Husband With No Courage In Him

Subject: RE: ADD: My husband's got no porrige in him
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 20 Jan 99 - 08:27 PM

For comparison, check out Gruel (in the DT)

Subject: RE: ADD: My husband's got no porrige in him
From: AndyG
Date: 21 Jan 99 - 05:54 AM

Ah Wolfgang,

Thanks for remembering, but I have to admit that since making that request I've managed to see both Les (alone) and the Mrs Ackroyd Band live and acquire all the CD's so I've got access to all the recorded stuff. I've not got the funding to buy the books yet though.

AndyG

Subject: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST,LynnT
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 02:24 PM

Last Saturday, on the Mary Cliff show on PBS in Washington DC, I heard a parody that nearly made me crash the car, I was laughing so hard:

As I walked out on a May morning
To see the (missing) and the birds a-singing
I saw three bears a-passing by,
And one of them her hands was wringing,
"O-Dear-O, O-Dear-O, Me husband's got no porridge in him, O-dear-o."

It went on from there, telling the 3-bears story from Mama Bear's view, and ending with Mama going home to her own mother's house after "finding a blond beneath the blanket" -- when Hubby tried to deny it all, and suggests the girl might have broken in -- why should she believe such a "fairy story". Wonderful stuff, and it's easy to see how the song grew once the kicker chorus came up. The female singer and chorus even caught the style of Maddy Prior's "Me Husband's Got No Courage In Him".

Does anyone know who wrote this, and maybe have the words?

Many thanks!

Lynn T

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 02:37 PM

At a guess I'd say it's either Sid Kipper or Les Barker.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 02:46 PM

It's credited to Norma Waterson

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 02:55 PM

lyrics are here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 03:01 PM

It's Les, sung by Norma. Be still my beating heart, only another month before I see him again......

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 05:09 PM

I have a tape with it.

She goes out to "view the fields and leaves a-springin'", as I recall. I could be wrong (handsome admission), but I think so.

I'll rustle around and try to find the tape, to post the words.

DAve Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: 8_Pints
Date: 25 Jul 01 - 09:23 PM

Dave is correct.

Another wonderful Les Barker parody!

Bob vG

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 01 - 04:06 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Morticia
Date: 26 Jul 01 - 06:40 PM

I do this one and most people go.."whattttt???" so more credit to you,Lyn.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Jul 01 - 07:17 PM

Click here for a thread with the lyrics.
It was written by Les Barker.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST,LynnT
Date: 26 Jul 01 - 10:08 PM

Thanks for the fast response!

I'm well familiar with the wonderful parodies done by Grit Laskin (who can forget the Photographer's Song -- "We photographed beneath the bridge and up against the wall -- if you've never photographed on a Saturday night you've not photographed at all" or "Cosmic and Freaky", Grit's California takeoff on Pleasant and Delightful (which I understand is itself the one serious song written by a major parodist). But Les Barker is a new name to me -- I'll be sure to look up his stuff.

I was going to offer up the words to C&F as part-payment for this new arrow soon to be in my quiver, but I see they're already in the Database. Y'all are just too well-versed for me!

Thanks again, LynnT

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Jan 22 - 03:11 PM

Are the lyrics Wolfgang posted the lyrics Les Barker wrote, or have there been changes?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him
From: MoorleyMan
Date: 31 Jan 22 - 07:08 PM

That's the lyrics I too have, Joe.
However, I had a note that the "Three empty plates" verse was attributed to "Tom Baxter", but I can't check as i don't have access to the Les volume "Aire dale" where it's printed.