Campsite at Drumcree III

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Tannoy Announcement
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 08:01 AM

Ladies and Gentlemen

The Heavyweight Class of the Heavy Step-Dance competition is due to kick-off in the next ten minutes.

Could all competitors please make their way to the reinforced decking near the front zips.

That's competitors Lupari, Holmes, Paisley and Kelly - that's Gerry Kelly from the telly - to the reinforced decking.

Spectators will be kept at a distance of some fifty yards for their own safety.

Flash photography is not permitted.

Please extinguish all smoking materials in the vicinity of the contest.

Thank you.

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,The Websites Commission
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:51 AM

Permission granted.

Mr Offer. You may act with the authority of the Mudcat Cafe. But thankfully there are institutions such as that which I represent who throughly understand and endorse the long tradition of mockery, vilification and general debauchery that has informed much of the traditional music of what has become known as "the western world".

Long before the descendants of your nation invaded the lands you now inhabit, the musicianers of Northern Ireland were assembling in their droves at Drumcree and places like it to fiddle, pipe, whistle, sing and knock fifteen different colours of ordure out of each awr!

And it is my solemn duty to defend their right so to do.

God Save Us!

---

Well, shit, all I wanted to know is where the songs come from....
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Harry McGarry, Solicitors (obo DMSE Ltd)
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:42 AM

M'clients have instructed me to ask the Commission to look favourably on their continued presence on this site. The cyber-sessioneers of Northern Ireland have traditionally used the Mudcat Cafe as a location in which to practice their vocation and seek the Commission's permission to continue to exercise their right to free association in this hallowed spot. So help me God!

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,The Websites Commission
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:37 AM

The residents of Mudcat, led by Mr Joe Offer, have filed a petition with us, objecting to the continued use of the Mudact for the staging of the Drumcree MegaSession (c) for International Harmony and Brotherly Love.

Have you anything to say in your defence?

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Prof Hairychops
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:28 AM

Professor Beardygub … we've met before of course. You'll remember me, Professor Hairychops, Head of Ethnomusicology, University of Lurgan, formerly St. Peter's, North Street … but that's goin' back a few years, ha ha.

I think that that was a very well-crafted summary of one of the particular "folk processes" that applies in Ireland.

However perhaps it would have been more helpful to have given a few further references so that these good people could have conducted further research. It's in this spirit that I suugest the following reading:

Beardygub (1997) From Devon to Derrytrasna – The influence of Buckfast on the cultural life of North Armagh (QUB Press)

Beardygub (1998) The Devil's Buttermilk – Drunkenness, debauchery and double jigs – Annals of the great sessions of the middle ages (QUB Press)

Hairychops (1998) "Min' Where You're Swingin' Thon Bow!" – When traditional music spills over into a gubbin' match (University of Lurgan Press)

Hairychops (1999) Sergeant Pepper/Sergeant Piper – The influence of magic mushrooms on traditional music (Univeristy of Lurgan Press)

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Prof Beardygub, Head of Folk Music Studies,
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:00 AM

Sorry to be a bore … but any questioning of the relevance of this thread in your esteemed organ displays an incomplete knowledge of how the folk process operates in the island of Ireland. It is well-known that new songs of any worth do not emerge unless a "rake" (coll. a large number) of "lachakoes" (coll. people of a generally reprobate character) get together for an extended period of "slaggin'" or "sleggin'" (coll. indulging in petty, vicious humour at each others' expense). The conviviality of such occasions is generally enhanced by the consumption of "bucky" (coll. a "tonic wine" imported from England) and – in certain circumstances - by the ingestion or inhalation of proscribed substances.

When "musicianers" (coll. people who play musical instruments) are present at such gatherings, it is normal for one or two songs to be coined by the assembled lachakoes. Occasionally they survive to the present day (e.g. Coleraine Regatta, performed some time back by Paul Brady in his Johnstons' days). More often they fall by the wayside, victims of the detrimental effect of "bucky" on the memory. Thus, alas, the tradition has lost such great ballads as "The Night Tim Carville Got His Hole"; "The Broke-Down Lorry At Moira"; "The Bus-Fare From Poyntzpass", "The Only Drunk Man In Bessbrook" and the classic "Gravel-Holes Of Ardmore".

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Scottish Advertising Site
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:58 AM

Wee fat Australian sneering shite with blue woad on his face talking in a very dodgy Scottish accent with his claymore in one hand a half empty bottle of Buckie stood astride a mangled English Knight shouting 'You can take away oor lives but ye canny take away our.......Buckfast !!'

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Like -Minded Pedant
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:37 AM

Joe ...

Good point ... I was about to make it mnyself.

However I've done a bit of background research and I think I can provide the details you're after:

Source Information - The humble grape

Composition Date - Wine has been produced continuously since man first learned to swally. However the consumption of wine in vast quantities (aka "skullin'") has been perfected by the good people of North Armagh in the past twenty or thirty years, thanks to the good monks of Buckfastleigh Abbey who bring their healing ministry to all regardless of creed or colour.

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Advertising Hoarding
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:31 AM

Photograph ...

Wee fat sneering shite in a shell suit with a moustache, is bent double over a garden wall, lashing rings roun' 'im.

The legend reads:

"Buckfast! Better out than in!"

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: Joe Offer
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:25 AM

I realize that posting background information might detract from the spirit of these threads, but I'd sure like to know source information, composition date, and stuff like that.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Advertising Hoarding
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:25 AM

Photograph ...

Wee fat sneering shite in a shell suit with a moustache, holding a bottle of buckie in his fist, is being bundled into the back of a police car by a wee fat sneering shite with a moustache in a peeler's uniform.

The legend reads:

"Buckfast! You'll always find a place to cowp for the night!"

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Advertising Hoarding
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:22 AM

Photograph ...

Wee fat sneering shite in a shell suit with a moustache, takes a big swig out of a bottle of buckie. Behind him his wife, her right eye blackened, sits weeping at the kitchen table. The kitchen wall still bears the stain where he bucked a mug of tay across the room.

The legend reads:

"Buckfast! For those days when you wish you'd never got married!"

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Advertising Hoarding
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:17 AM

Photograph ...

Wee fat shite in a shell suit with a moustache, brandishing a broken Mundies bottle in one hand and holding aloft a half-full bucky bottle in the awr, stands triumphantly over the bloody body of an unsuspecting victim.

The legend reads:

"I could fight none till I discovered Buckfast!"

Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: GUEST,Travel Brochure
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:56 AM

EASTER PILGRIMAGE TO BUCKFAST ABBEY

Visit the beautiful Benedictine Buckfast Abbey in glorious Devon for an Easter of spiritual enlightenment.

As endorsed by The Drumcree MegaSession (c) For World Peace and Mutual Understanding.

For more information, chat to God, or try http://www.buckfast.org.uk/.

Subject: Campsite at Drumcree III
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:47 AM

'Mon on in, keep 'er lit - the third of these illustrious threads:

Continued from Campsite at Drumcree II and SONG ADD: The Campsite at Drumcree.