BS: Not depressed, just British

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:52 PM

"I wonder what Americans would be diagnosed with by the British Psychiatrists."

I think that, if I suggested what I think the answer to that question might well be, the responses it would get in subsequent posts would demonstrate that there could be something to be said for the accuracy of the diagnosis. So I won't.

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:39 PM

Does anyone remember an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati where Les Nesman crashed through the wall of a hotel on his moped and smashed up an English couple there on vacation? He went to hospital to apologise for nearly killing them and ruining their lives and the husband looked at him in amazement and said "My God, man ... we were having TEA!"

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:32 PM

There's a germ of truth in all stereotypes. But the germ of truth here isn't that the English are miserable, but rather that the English are particularly good at enjoying things going wrong, including the grumbling - it quite cheers them up.

The underlying assumption is that, if things are bad, they could well get better; if they are good they are bound to get worse. So bad times are the times you can relax and look forward hopefully. Historically that is symbolised by Dunkirk and the Blitz.

"We'll meet again -
Don't know where, don't know when -
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do
'Til the blue skies chase those dark clouds far away."

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:31 PM

Big Pink Lad

Rather than blaming the French I'm inclined to blame George Mikes - if I remember rightly, the chapter on sex in "How to be an alien" started on the lines of, "The English don't have sex, they have hot water bottles".....

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:25 PM

:::giggle!:::

I wonder what Americans would be diagnosed with by the British Psychiatrists.

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:25 PM

What a beautifully written piss-take! Lovely. (Like all the best comedy, based in absolute truth of course!)

BJ

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:21 PM

Dicho

I think the British Isles are still the British Isles, because that's just a geographical description. But it's not getting any easier. We've had reports today that the Shetland Isles are planning to include the Norse version of town names on boundary signs.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:19 PM

Don't fall victim to the "No Sex Please, We're British' thing ... it was just a rumour put round by the French who have not enjoyed the way we've shagged them over the centuries ... ;o)

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:15 PM

You gonna come and cheer me up Bert??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Bert
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:07 PM

Well Squeaks, you can be depressed and British, but we won't allow you to be depressed AND a Mudcatter.

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 15 May 02 - 05:00 PM

Herga Kitty, what to I say when I want to refer to the geographic area that used to be the British Isles? Do I string all the pieces together in one word? Or just call it the I+-ncompatable Islands?

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Deda
Date: 15 May 02 - 04:55 PM

Sorry about the ex-patriate thing, which of course is what I meant. And I think the English were the target of this spoof, not all Brits. Although as an ethnic joke I guess it might as well have been ASPs (Anglo Saxon Protestants -- the W is redundant).

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 May 02 - 04:38 PM

Thanks Blues, that makes me feel so much better.

NOT

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Blues=Life
Date: 15 May 02 - 04:15 PM

This is like the old joke about the traveling salesman who was given a room in an over-booked hotel, and told to share the bed with whoever was already there. He walks in, finds a naked woman in the bed, and proceeds to make love to her. The next day, the police catch up with him and charge him with having sex with a dead woman. "Dead?" he says, "I thought she was British!"

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 15 May 02 - 04:14 PM

Hang about.

An English ex-patriot is someone who used to feel patriotic towards England but doesn't any more. As opposed to an English expatriate, who just happens to be living somewhere outside England (could be Wales or Scotland) who may or may not still feel patriotic towards England.

British and English are not synonymous. Now that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland (which is part of the UK but not of Britain)have devolved governments it seems very provocative not to distinguish between English, British, and UK..... and of course Cornish.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 May 02 - 04:12 PM

Can't I be British AND depressed anyway??

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Not depressed, just British
From: C-flat
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:46 PM

From clinically depressed to quaint and charming! I must remember my Union Jack T-shirt next time I travel abroad. Wouldn't want to give the wrong impression y'know! Anyone would think we spend all our time moaning about the weather, which I might say has been a bit on the chilly side with some spots of rain, but there you are mustn't grumble what! Can you imagine how us Brits have been without our Mudcat site! My upper lip has gone into cramps! Tally-Ho!

Subject: Not depressed, just British
From: Deda
Date: 15 May 02 - 03:33 PM

I posted this to the annexe when mudcat was down (thanks Jon F!) but I thought some people probably missed it there. An English ex-patriot, now a US citizen, sent me this piece of silliness and I thought anyone who's compared US and British manners might appreciate it:

DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS "BRITISH" George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when doctors realised he wasn't depressed at all - only British.

Not depressed, just British Mr Farthing, a British man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive Negative Anticipation - a belief that everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving late, England's chances at winning any international sports event or even his own prospects to get ahead in life and achieve his dreams.

"The satisfaction Mr Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed particularly pathological," reported the doctors. "They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort," said Mr Farthing. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for an hour a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless and they said that it was exactly that sort of attitude that got me here in the first place."

Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course of "weapons grade MDMA", the only noticeable effect of which was six hours of speedy repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad, really".

It was then that Mr Farthing was referred to a psychotherapist. Suicidal? Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr Farthing's family history and couldn't believe his ears. "His story of a childhood growing up in a grey little town where it rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses and passionately backing a football team who never won, seemed to be typical depressive ideation or false memory. Mr Farthing had six months of therapy but seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how miserable and cold it was in winter and later how difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he wasn't responding to therapy at all and so I recommended drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".

Hopeless case. "I was all strapped down on the table and they were about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think we're making a terrible mistake'."

Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her an understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no chance of ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."

Identifying Mr Farthing as British changed his diagnosis from 'clinical depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he was immediately discharged from hospital, with a selection of brightly coloured leaflets and an "I love New York" T-shirt.