Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: kendall Date: 01 Aug 04 - 06:16 AM My favorite still is: She Won't Get Under Me 'til I get Over You. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Flash Company Date: 31 Jul 04 - 11:34 AM Hey, Cool Beans, I used to have the 78 of The Hoosier Hotshots singing that! The other side was 'Don't change horses in the middle of a stream (If you want to keep your britches dry!)' How about 'They don't make Jews like Jesus anymore' by The Texas Jewboys! Real, honest! FC |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Mr Red Date: 31 Jul 04 - 08:37 AM I just heard the opening lines of a song said to be sung by Mills and Jones, it sounded very 40/50's American. Ah! was that Spike Jones? It din't register at the time but it fits stylistically. "Never hit your Granny on the head with a shovel, it leaves a bad impression on her mind" |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: rich-joy Date: 29 Jul 04 - 02:22 AM wasn't there a "Nice Legs!(Shame About the Face)" in the charts some years back?? ... Cheers! R-J |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Gene Date: 28 Jul 04 - 08:22 PM http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country.htm a comprehensive list of REAL and IMAGINED song titles... |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 28 Jul 04 - 11:23 AM Snuffy - Is this some sort of attempt at gaining membership by the back door? If so, it will not work, the committee will hear of this and you may be blackballed for ever. By the way, that is basically SPROJ number one, you used the wrong joke numbers. The treatment is not working, more power. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Snuffy Date: 28 Jul 04 - 09:04 AM Apparently one prospective member had to tell some jokes for an entrance examination. "48" he called: silence. "17c": not a titter. Whatever number he called out nobody laughed. Eventually he turned to his sponsor and said "Have I picked a load of duff jokes, then" "Nothing wrong with the jokes - it's the way you tell them" (I forget what number that one was) |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 28 Jul 04 - 06:56 AM Should have mentioned before SPROJ was originated by the late Dave Houlden. Nurse, the electrodes please! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 28 Jul 04 - 04:11 AM SPROJ - the Society for the Protection and Retelling of Old Jokes and other associated similar silliness. Membership is free but by recommendation only. All suitable old jokes are given SPROJ numbers including variations, derivations and even deviations. Well known jokes are told by number only, hence by calling out (for instance) the number 13b to ardent SPROJJERS, you will, if a member of the cognoscenti,elicit at the very least a hearty chuckle. I would like to direct to the site on the web but it got hoovered up when spring cleaning. Yes, we have very clean springs. Hope that clears everything up, must go now time for the electro therapy. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,mack/misophist Date: 27 Jul 04 - 07:20 PM Every one seems to have missed "My Tears Have Washed 'I Love You' From the Blackboard of My Heart". Thank You Dear Lord for Victory in Korea should be on the list, too. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Amos Date: 27 Jul 04 - 06:45 PM Special Project? A |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Zany Mouse Date: 27 Jul 04 - 06:08 PM What does SPROJ mean? |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,belter Date: 27 Jul 04 - 04:51 PM Just about any Ray Stevens song. Prop Me Up Beside the Juke Box When I Die There's A Tear In My Bear Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares Friggin in the riggin |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,daHOFman Date: 27 Jul 04 - 12:54 PM RE: Sounds a bit crude, but it's supposed to be a real song: "If I Can't Be Your Number One, Then Number Two On You!" ----------------------------------------- by the LATE & GREAT ROGER MILLER, NO LESS ... and I seriously doubt if Gene Autry recorded "I Still Write Your Name In The Snow" But Chet Atkins Did, i usta have it on a composite LP... |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Big Jim from Jackson Date: 27 Jul 04 - 10:59 AM "Five Pounds Of 'Possum In My Headlights Tonight" and "If My Nose Ran Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You" by Mike Snider of the Grand Ol' Opry |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: MikeofNorthumbria Date: 27 Jul 04 - 10:26 AM "If I offered to peel you an orange, would you think I was taking the pith?" Wassail! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Cool Beans Date: 26 Jul 04 - 07:20 PM "She Broke My Heart in Three Places: Seattle, Chicago and New York," a real song by the Hoosier Hot Shots |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Terry Allan Hall Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:23 PM A local guy, Michael Martin, has a song called "How Can I Get You Off Of My Mind (When You're Sitting On My Face)"... Kinda tacky, but a crowd pleaser. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Fergie Date: 26 Jul 04 - 03:08 PM How about I can't get over a girl like you, so you'll have to answer the phone yourself. Fergus |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Compton Date: 26 Jul 04 - 02:51 PM .....You stole my wife, you Horse thief ! .....I'm so lonesome in the saddle since my horse died! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Scoville Date: 26 Jul 04 - 12:54 PM The Highwoods also had the title that had no tune, "Feed Your Babies Onions So You Can Find 'Em in the Dark". |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:38 AM breezy Marrie Lloyd was forced by the Lord Cancellor and a court case to refrain from singing "Sits among the Cabages and Peas" so she changed it to "She Stands among the Cauliflowers and Leeks". They didn't prosecute the second time! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:08 AM Fretless, the actual title of that song (which you narrowly missed) is: "I've got tears in my ears, from lyin' on my back, in my bed, while I cry over you. Which also is the first verse. and maybe chorus too. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Larry Date: 26 Jul 04 - 09:53 AM They can lock me up, but they can't keep my face from breaking out. The Assylum Street Spankers have a number of them If you love me, you'll sleep on the wet spot Scrotum and many others |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Mingulay Date: 26 Jul 04 - 08:53 AM She was only a Yorkshire farmer's daughter, but she liked her Huddersfield. For those in the know, of course, most of these titles are pre SPROJ. Leadfingers will explain. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Tracey Dragonsfriend Date: 26 Jul 04 - 08:44 AM There's a few by Judge Dread - Up With the Cock, The Winkle Man, Y Viva Suspenders... but the content tends to closely follow the title! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Inükshük Date: 26 Jul 04 - 08:16 AM She Was Only a Fisherman's Daughter (But Did She Reel When She Saw My Rod) |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: JennyO Date: 26 Jul 04 - 08:06 AM musicmic, your collection would not be complete without this compilation song made up of country music titles, written by Martin Pearson (a very funny man) and John Thompson (currently of Cloudstreet). Their performances of this have brought the house down every time. Thanks Sandra for putting it in another thread :-) THE COUNTRY SONG c. Martin Pearson & John Thompson Mama, get the hammer, there's a fly on Papa's head. I've been roped and thrown by Jesus in the Holy Ghost corral. I fell in a pile of you and got love all over me, But who bit the wart off Grandma's nose? Chorus: I wanna whip your cow; I wanna whip your cow, 'Cause you just can't play a sad song on a banjo, anyhow. You done tore out my heart and you stomped that sucker flat. You made toothpicks from the timbers of my heart. If the jukebox took teardrops, I'd cry all night long. You stuck my heart in an old tin can and shot it off a log. Well, I guess if you can't feel it, then it ain't really there, And the last word in lonesome is "me." Repeat chorus If I can't be number one in your life, number two on you. I can't get over you, 'til you get out from under him. I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here, So I flushed you down the toilet of my heart. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,yorkie Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:52 AM Here's one that I'm rather ashamed to quote (and I quote it far too often). It is said to have been recorded by willie Nelson, though that may imply an equally tasteless joke .... "Tears on my Pillow (are the only wet spots in my bed)" And here's one said to have been recorded by Gene Autry! "I Still Write Your Name in the Snow". |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Leadfingers Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:40 AM UK based 'Fun' Band called Cocky (which had Keith Calton of instrument case fame in it) had a Vinyl entitled 'Twelve inches of Cocky ' back in the good old days . |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Barbara Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:25 AM Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye Ain't Been No Trash In My Trailer Since the Day I kicked You Out (I'm Just a) Possum In the Headlights of Your Love Our Only Good Years Were the Tires on the Car In the Elevator of Life, I got the Shaft You Stomped Upon My Heart and Squashed that Sucker Flat Blessings, Barbara |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 26 Jul 04 - 02:26 AM Refresh |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,NH Dave Date: 17 Oct 03 - 08:05 PM or Dropkick me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life, Paul Craft and sung by Bobby Bare. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: freightdawg Date: 17 Oct 03 - 07:59 PM Don't know if its urban legend or for real, or whether its a title or just a phrase, but an old friend spoke of a country song he said had the phrase: "if the lights are all flashin' and the bars are all down, then don't blame the wreck on the train" pretty good advice. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: reggie miles Date: 17 Oct 03 - 07:45 PM Lady P., Here's some hickstory. That Big Ten Inch, Record.... song was actually a hit by Bull Moose Jackson and his Buffalo Bearcats way back before those Aerosmith dudes were probably not much more than a twinkle in their collective parental units' eyes, about fifty years ago. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: musicmick Date: 17 Oct 03 - 06:16 PM Nice collection we're amassing. The other night, someone sang a song called "I Think Your Wife Is Cheatin' On Us". |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,pdq Date: 17 Oct 03 - 02:08 PM Hard to find one that's not Country. How about Mose Allison's "Your Mind's On Vacation But Your Mouth Is Working Overtime". |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Arkie Date: 17 Oct 03 - 10:48 AM Don't Let Your Big Mouth Take Where Your Feet Can't Walk You Out Don't Telephone, Don't Telegraph, Tell A Woman I'd Rather Loan You Out Than Let You Go She's Not Rose, But She's Not Bad, And Rose Isn't Here Time Wounds All Heels She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, And All Night Long It was Honer and Offer You're Out Doing What I'm Home Doing Without Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart and Don't Yell Through The Screen Door Mother, You'll Strain Your Voice. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: alanabit Date: 17 Oct 03 - 02:16 AM I'd like to hear some of these gems! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Gorgeous Gary Date: 16 Oct 03 - 07:33 PM From Minneapolis-area Nate Bucklin: "I Can't Get Over You So Why Don't You Get Under Me?" and "For You, I'd Get A Vasectomy". Also, Carla Ulbrich's "Please Do Something Stupid" (as in, "Won't you please do something stupid/So I can get over you?". And speaking of lobotomies, a friend of mine, Darren Zeiger penned a song called "Lobotomy" with the refrain "Thoughts of you don't bother me/Since my lobotomy". -- Gary |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Bat Goddess Date: 16 Oct 03 - 06:05 PM I Spent My Last Ten Dollars On Birth Control and Beer Living In Braintree With You In Methuen Is Almost Like Living In Lowell (which also contains one of the worst/best puns I've ever heard) She Rode High In the Saddle Til Her Blister Broke Bigfoot Stole My Wife |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Stranger Date: 16 Oct 03 - 03:49 PM And the Loudon Wainwright ones - I Wish I Was A Lesbian I Don't Think That Your Wife Likes Me |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 16 Oct 03 - 03:49 PM The King is Gone and So Are You |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: lady penelope Date: 16 Oct 03 - 03:35 PM Great stuff!!! "she sits amongst the cabbages and leaks" aerosmith's "My big ten inch ..... record of the band that plays the blues" TTFN Lady P. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: alanabit Date: 16 Oct 03 - 01:41 PM Phil Beer once told me that there is an Allan Taylor song which has the first line, "It wouldn't be so hard if I didn't love you..." I don't know how the rest of it goes, but it's a promising start! |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Grab Date: 16 Oct 03 - 12:29 PM What, no mention of the all-time classic "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me"??? Graham. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Kevin Sheils Date: 16 Oct 03 - 12:20 PM I didn't notice up there I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy or I thought my nose was bleeding but it's not |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Charley Noble Date: 16 Oct 03 - 11:43 AM Didn't see the Austin Lounge Lizard's ditty "I'm Cryin' Hot-Tubs of Tears over You." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: Dave Bryant Date: 16 Oct 03 - 10:47 AM There's always the old favourites: Get off the gastove granny, you're too old to ride the range. We met outside the pawnbroker's and she kissed me under the balls. |
Subject: RE: 'Gag' Song Titles From: katlaughing Date: 16 Oct 03 - 12:44 AM Well, what about Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?:-) (I LOVE Boney Fingers!) |
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