Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 07:01 PM

I'm glad there is a bench dedicated to Mary's memory in such a perfect location -- and I'm also very glad that the inscription is read and inspires and makes a difference in the lives of the people who read it.

Thank you, Kurt, for posting here among her friends. We miss her.

Linn

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Goodnight Gracie
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 02:09 PM

Thank you Kurt for your lovely and meaningful message. So many of us loved Mary and miss her terribly.

Grace

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Kurt Fischbeck
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 01:03 PM

I did not know Mary, but I have enjoyed sitting on the bench dedicated to her memory outside the Porter Neuroscience Research Center on the NIH campus. By coincidence (if there is such a thing) we do research on motor neuron disease, and just today, when I am thinking about a presentation I have to give on ALS, I noticed the plaque and decided to google on her name. I give thanks for her life and for the generosity of her friends in donating the bench as an inspiration for those of us who work here.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: MiriamKilmer
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 12:40 PM

Sorry, I wasn't logged in. I'm the "guest." It has been five years since I posted to madcat!

Miriam A. Kilmer

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 12:20 PM

Oh, how I will miss her beautiful voice and her warm smile!

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Eileen Pentel and Don Wade
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:52 PM

We were so sorry to hear about Mary's passing. Her bright smile and cheerfulness will remain as a happy memory.

Eileen and Don

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Scott
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 10:46 PM

I knew Mary from her work with Ed Ginns and me at NIH and she was a fabulous collaborator. She was so devoted and interested as long as she was able. I'll miss her.

Scott Young

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: SussexCarole
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 03:47 PM

Many tears here tonight thinking of such a lovely lady. When we said goodbye at the Getaway last year I think we both knew it would be the last time we'd meet.

Farewell Mary and our hearts are with you George

Carole & Andrew xx

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Wolfgang
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 09:39 AM

Another long time Mudcat member has gone. I haven't known her but it feels to me like a loss.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: ranger1
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 12:00 AM

I know what you mean, Joe. This was taken on Kendall's birthday last year.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM

A tear comes to my eye every time I come back to this thread, but what I want to remember most about Mary is her smile and her amazingly intelligent sense of humor. She was a real kick. Her life was one that deserves celebration, and hope I will always smile when I think of her.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: bbc
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM

Nice to hear your words, Dan. We were in Maine, too. Bill, thanks so much for the pictures!

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Dan Schatz
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 04:52 PM

I've just come back from a week in Maine with my family. Mary, we will miss you so much. You were kind, generous, absolutely honest and a stunning singer. You endured the cancer, but ALS is too much for anybody. You fought nobly and long, and I never saw you lose your dignity.

Through it all, George has been a constant companion, caregiver, husband and friend. You two were incredibly lucky to have found each other.

A few weeks after the official "swan song" at the Washington Folk Festival, Mary and George came to Bias Studios and recorded "Singing Through the Hard Times" with us for the Utah CD. Mary's voice was still powerful, and her harmonies right on in the chorus. She and George sang from an isolation room, because the big studio, where the rest of us were, wasn't wheelchair accessible. I believe she had a good time, and in a number of ways she made it a much better recording. I'm glad she graced us with her presence.

Goodbye, Mary.

Dan

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 03:37 AM

I suppose we Mudcatters are mostly of a certain age but I seem to have gone to a lot of funerals of relatives, friends and neighbours in the last twelve months and we have also lost a whole bunch of dear Mudcat treasures, now this, very sad. Good thoughts to all the family and friends.

RtS

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Bob Hitchcock
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 09:59 PM

Although I did not know Mary that well, she and George always seemed to show up at various shows I either attended or performed in, whenever I saw her she always had a smile, a hug and some kind words.

I have not seen her for some years as I have been out of the scene a lot, and only recently found out she was ill. I will miss her, and offer condolences to George and her many close friends.

Bob.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Ron Davies
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:28 PM

Mary will be missed terribly but we'll always remember her in so many ways.   I'll never forget the good gutsy duet renditions by George and Mary of many Kipling songs--especially her singing the phrase "Watch the wall , my darling while the gentlemen go by". And she will be immortal just for her wonderful amalgamation of Wagner and Stan Rogers in the "Ring".

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: momnopp
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 02:55 PM

Condolences, love and hugs to George S. and to my other friends (particularly those of the "folk ghetto of Silver Spring") who love Mary so deeply and have held her through her debilitating illness. Though Mary's ALS weakened her body, I think it strengthened our community. As others have said so elegantly, she taught us a lot about life.

Thank you, Mary.

{{{{{{{{George}}}}}}}}

Peace,
JudyO/momnopp

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:53 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss, George.

I, too, loved Mary's spirit and smile, though only glimpsed at the Getaway and here on Mudcat.

You should know, too, that even observed from afar, your loving care of her was deeply meaningful and important. As I contemplated a new relationship with someone who faces difficult times (MS, though, not ALS) yours was a shining example to me of how love is just damn love.

My deepest condolences.

Dani

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,lamarca's OM
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 11:41 PM

Bill,

Thanks for the very nice pix. And thank you, everyone for the extraordinarily kind words. I hope to see many of you at the Getaway.

George Stephens

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 11:35 PM

G'day all Mudcatters,

I had enjoyed Mary's posts for some time ... and was wonderful to meet her and George when they came to Australia. We had a great singing session at Margaret Walters' house - and I was stunned by how well she had used existing forms and material to shape up her Gotterdamnerung song.

I regret that I had no hope of learning it properly ... by ear and what I laughingly call my 'memory' ... so I had to cheat and coax out a copy, cheerfully enough sent by Mary, after she and George got home! I'll have to sneak it into one of my Australian Music / song session late some night. Well, she did play her own hand-made copy of our "lagerphone" (amongst the 'blue-clickies' about halfway back up ...) so that qualifies for honorary Australian authorship (by way of Canadian and German inputs)!

My regrets to George ... best hopes for the spirit of Mary ... sadness at all the losses we must endure.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:31 PM

Just saw the sad news--was in Quebec for a week-and-a-half and catching up now. Hugs and deepest condolences to George and all.

For part of the trip I was at the World Science Fiction Convention (which was in Montreal). As usual, I was hanging out at the filksings during the nights. Just before I staggered off to bed late Sunday night/early Monday morning, a friend of mine from VA sang Mary's Gotterdamerung song. (I think my friend actually did know Mary.) The timing seems rather appropriate now.

I'd joked at least once that Mary (along with George) was one of my two Australian folk pushers--the other being John Huff (of Clam Chowder fame). I'll remember Mary now time I hear a Martyn Wyndham-Read or Banjo Patterson song, or any of the other Australian folks songs I learned from George and Mary's concerts.

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: karen k
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 08:12 PM

Bill,
Nice tribute to Mary. I'll miss her.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Barry Finn
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 07:28 PM

Bill, no apology needed. She was probably singing a lullabye, she could do that to you too.

I'll miss her

Barry

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:57 PM

Those of you who know her from the Getaway...or locally know that
Mary was, of course, a singer
but also a listener a listener
and a performer (with George & KathWestra)
She was a multi-instrumentalist *grin* (she had a bodhran at one time, too)
She was always alert even when those about her were not. (sorry, Barry)
She was willing to try anything... (even when *I* was the only one who could do it.)
And she was at all times, elegant & dignified (as were all her friends)(sorry, Jeri)

But, finally, she was just Mary...our friend

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:56 PM

She had a friend, Judy Cook, disseminate her collection of earrings and some other jewelry and took notes as to who selected which to report back to Mary. I wrote in a card that I'd always think of her whenever I wore the earrings, and I do.   My favorite pair is a deep iridescent blue with herons (or cranes--need better eyes).

She made me feel welcome at a venue where everyone already knew each other. She told me she remembered how it felt to be 'new'. I believe she was like that with everyone.

I mentioned the newly hatched dragonfly. What I didn't say was when she showed it to me, clinging to a plant by a pond, it looked pretty beaten up and I thought it was dying. Then she explained it had just then become a dragonfly, and its wings were only drying.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: ranger1
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 05:22 PM

A couple of years ago, I shared some of my nature photos with Mary. She oohed and aahed at all the right places and then told me about her collection of "insect porn". To which my response was "oh, hey. How cool is that?!" Not all people share my fascination with little creepy-crawlies, reptiles, amphibians, wildflowers and birds, but Mary did.

George, you are in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Skivee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 03:23 PM

Of course I also meant to pass on condolences to George along with the note above. Their getting together was the best thing in her life. They were a remarkably well suited couple.
I'm also glad that that cruel disease can't hurt her any longer.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Skivee
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 03:12 PM

Years ago Mary was part of a group house along with a bandmate of mine and somw other folks.
Our trio hadn't been together long, barely had chosen a name, were still deciding on basic arrangements.
Mary had an enormous confused cat she called "Kashche". We refered to him as "the thing that moves by night", "The Graf Zepplin", and other unkind terms.

She walked into the room where we were practicing and announced that we needed a bagpipe. We were puzzled by this suggestion, and told her she was full of beans. She repeated her suggestion. We said, "No." This continued on for a bit, till she grabbed Kashche and stuck him upside down in the crook of her left elbow. She tossed three of his legs over her shoulder, stuck the forth paw in her mouth while yanking on his tail. Then she began squeezing the air out of Kashche's lungs.
The bewildered upside down cat began producing a distinctly bag-pipey drone," Huuuuuuuuuuuun....huuuuuun...hunnnnnnnnnnnnnn".
It was a disturbing moment for us all.
Some time later, Jody playfully told Mary that Kashche was not the cat's name; being entirely too fluffy and prissy a name for a cat of his ...grandure. She told Mary that henceforth, the cat would be known as "Butch". Jody took every oppertunity to call him "Butch".
Mary took great exception to the whole renaming my cat thing, but Jody would not be denied. The battle was finally won when Don caught Mary calling Kashche in at the door one night:
"Kashche...?"
"Kashche...?



"Kashche...?"







"Butch?"

The cat came back.
Mary tossed her hands up in resignation.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 10:35 AM

We knew it was coming...and it's a relief that she no longer suffers from this cruelest of all diseases, be we're saddened and miss her.

I'll think of her in so many songs, in watching the birds she was so knowledgable about, in the flamingoes that litter my house, and in the earrings that shared her life and are now a part of mine.

What we've once held in our heart is never gone...but I miss her here in real life.

George, our thoughts are very much with you.

Linn

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:22 AM

Pistachio, in Germany (temporarily)

Like SRS I never met this lady but I'm sorry for the loss you all suffer. It is wonderful, tho sad, to read all the remarks about someone who clearly touched everyone who met her.

Please accept my sympathy.
Indeed it is a sad time for many.

George, take care.
Hazel.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Patricia C.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 11:01 PM

Everyone is special, but Mary was one of the really special ones. She brought a sense of wonder to everything (as well as a sense of humor). I feel honored to have known her. George - I am so very very sorry for your loss. And I am so sorry for the loss felt by those of you who were so close to her for so very long. If I, at this distance, am feeling an overwhelming sadness, it is only a microscopic portion of what the rest of you are going through.

It was always a joy to hear George and Mary sing at NOMAD and other festivals.

When my son and I were visiting Judy & Dennis and Kathy some years ago, Mary came over and pointed out a remarkable moth on a tree in Judy & Dennis' back yard. She had my son (and me) fascinated about it. Late last week I saw one of those same moths in our back yard - not sure what made me notice it because it blended in so completely - I had never seen one here. Since I have no sense of time, I don't remember which day I saw it, but I don't believe in coincidences.

Prayers, hugs, and deep sympathies,

Patricia

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Clarice
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:57 PM

I am deeply saddened that Mary has died. Yes, I knew it was coming, and yes, it is a relief to know that she no longer suffers, but it is such a loss to know that she is no longer on this earth.

Mary, good bye. You will be missed.

And loving thoughts to George, who has been at Mary's side through it all.

Clarice

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,Margaret Walters
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 05:51 PM

John Warner and I were among other Sydney folkies who met Mary and George on their visit to Sydney. Mary was a remarkable woman and we could sense her vast knowledge and understanding of folk and other music, her capacity for musicality, humour, endurance and her love of life. She obviously impressed many people with her boundless enthusiasm for all around her. May she rest in peace. Thank you for your words, George.

Love Margaret

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:11 AM

I met Mary & George when they visited Sydney a few years back.

condolences to George & family & friends

sandra

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 08:54 AM

Nature lover, plant identifier, mouse wrangler, Wisconsin enthusiast, holder and expresser of well-formed ideas about music and community, memorizer of long songs with too many words for the rest of us, raiser of awareness of handicapped accessibility, and the one member of the neighborhood cohort who may have been younger than I was. I will miss her.

Beautiful words, George!

--Charlie Baum

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Tradsinger
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 08:05 AM

Carol and I are very sorry to hear the news, as we knew Mary. So condolences to you from England. I know the DC folk community will rally round you and comfort you.

All are thoughts are with you

Gwilym (and Carol)

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:55 AM

What a sad day......All my best to you George. Like so many others here, I knew Mary only through Mudcat but I will always remember her well. Her positive attitude and sense of humor were matched with intelligence and passion that came across in her written words.....I regret I never knew her in person.

Some of her posts "back in the day" on the meaning of folk/what is folk/etc. were some of the very best ever written on the subject. And when she acquired a charango, she took my chiding in stride and posted me back with both a Possum recipe and one for Armadillo as well. A very "complete" person.........

She was a great champion of trad folk and in keeping the tradition alive in this new age. I will never forget a comment she made and I'll leave you all with it.............

"I may be a Purist Snob, but I'm a flexible Purist Snob if it helps make traditional music more available!"

Good-bye Mary and many thanks.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 07:15 AM

Dear Friend George, Elaine and I are so sorry to hear this news even though it is not unexpected. Our memories of you both are amongst our happiest ones. We send you our deepest sympathies at this time of grief. Love, Roy & Elaine.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: maeve
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:55 AM

"I'm learning to appreciate their lives as I knew them."(kendall)

Yes, Kendall. That's one of the gifts such dear friends give us.

maeve

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: kendall
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:43 AM

It's so easy to grieve the passing of such as Mary but with the deaths of so many of my dear friends these past few years I'm learning to appreciate their lives as I knew them.
We saw her last March and I knew we would never meet again, but I'm grateful that I knew her.
My deepest sympathies to you, George. I'm also honored to know you.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Tinker
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:25 AM

Mary was one of the faces I looked for at Getaway. Yes, a musician, but the warmth and grace and dignity .... and humor .... are what I remember most.   Blessings and light (and hugs all around)

tinker

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:19 AM

Such sad news.

I only met Mary the once but she was a wonderful person.

Condolences to George and all her family and friends.

Khatt

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 03:51 AM

Such a loss. Condolences to you George.

I am so glad that I knew Mary, she was one special person.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Pauline L
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 01:12 AM

Jeri, thank you for posting this. George, what you wrote about her was beautiful. My condolences go to you and everyone she was close to.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: karen k
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 01:05 AM

This has been a really tough summer. So many good people gone. I knew Mary wasn't doing well when I saw Kathy Westra last month. George, I am saddened to learn that Mary is gone. How I loved the two of you singing together. I wish I was there to give you a hug. I will always remember Mary fondly, with great respect, as a friend and a wonderful singer. My condolences to you, George, to her family and to all in the folk ghetto who will miss her terribly.

Much love,
karen

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: EBarnacle
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 12:24 AM

I only met Mary a couple of times at Old Songs. We corresponded about her "Ring Cycle" and about her job. There was never any mention of sickness.

This makes the second time I have lost someone to ALS. Neither was good. Both will be missed.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: bbc
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 12:03 AM

I am so sorry to hear this news. I saw Mary, in person, a limited number of times, but had a clear sense of her as a good & talented person--one who I was glad to know! Peace to her & to you, George, & to all who loved her. The world was richer for her being among us!

With love & sympathy,

Barbara

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: GUEST,DWR
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 11:23 PM

Some people are just special to us here at Mudcat. LaMarca is one of those.

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 11:18 PM

Like several others here, I never met Mary, but reading this thread brings tears to my eyes. And what a lovely and loving tribute, George.

I'll look forward to some of those stories people have promised.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Mary LaMarca (10 Aug 2009)
From: lisa null
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 11:15 PM

Well, Mary taught me not only what to plant in my garden to attract certain kinds of wildlife, she showed me what was already there: the weeds that suddenly turned into amazing native plants worth cherishing, the bugs, the shy small creatures I might have overlooked. Once she showed me a peeper. She was a generous advice giver-- telling me about everything from electric scooters to spice to her favorite reggae songs. I have been talking with people all day who just wanted to reminisce about all the ways she helped them appreciate the most marvelous basics of life: cats, food, plants, birds, song, books, and just being a good neighbor. She left us a lot to build on.

Here's to a great singer, a mischievous songwriter, and a fun, inquisitive, vital human being.

Oh yeah, here's to her wonderful husband.