Song Challenge! Part 18

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

COMPUTER YOU"RE THE DIVIL

Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM

Barky -- you go, girl! You should be able to do this one proud....

Everyone know the devil-in-the-computer problem only applies to WIntel machines. Demons hate Macs. There's too much saintliness in the ROM chips and it makes the place uninhabitable. I knew there was a good reason for choosing Macs!!! LMAO.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM

LMAOWROTF!!! (note foul, debasing language) It would be even funnier if was tongue-in-cheek, but I have the horrid feeling the guy was serious! I live in Kansas, belly-button of the rabidly religious right ("right rabidly religious?"), remember?

I can't resist this one...will send my entry as soon as I can get my guffaws under control! Thanks, Amos--great pick!

Lin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM

This needs some thought............I'm boggled by this one!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:45 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno
Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O
I take delight in playing with my Whammo
And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:44 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O I take delight in playing with my Whammo And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM

Now for the custard throwing seals -- or something just as good! This Challenge! idea comes from Amos (and we all know what a little devil he is...):

Beelzebub Bytes!

Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."

Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"

The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.

"I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.

However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

There ya go! So, grab your mirrors, salt and wooden stakes and GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!!