Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread

Subject: RE: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 02:47 AM

My uncle John must be the most boring man on the planet. He was a farm labourer, is about 6'3", built like the proverbial brick outhouse and I've not heard him speak since 1974. Not that he's dead or anything, it's just whenever we visit, his total vocal output is 'y'right then?' followed by grunts and shrugs to any question put to him.

In 1974, my brother was killed by a drunken driver and my uncle John uttered the longest sentence I've ever heard. It was a comment on the parentage and possible sexual proclivities of the said drunken driver and I couldn't possibly repeat it here!

LTS

Subject: RE: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 10:41 PM

LOL! See Wall Drug! Lots of other stuff there too...

No Uncle John, but I had Uncle George and Uncle Roger. George was a vice pres. in charge of overseas exploration and leases for Phillips Petroleum. He ate in the desert with the Bedouins (sheeps eyeballs) and in the Palace with the Shah. He brought back many wondrous things and stories. (Don't get all political on me about the Shah, OK?)

Uncle Roger was a fundamentalist Bible Banger of the first water. At family reunions he was never without his Bible, finger in 1st Corninthians. He was always asked to say the blessing....and he blessed every living thing and person by name. Interminable, espcially for a horde of starving children. Just let us at the fried chicken! My immediate family was more of a Bless this meat and let us eat bunch.

Roger reformed late in life, became a hell of a lot of fun. Became a zoo docent and discovered that he actually loved it. We're not sure he ever loved much of anything before that.

Subject: RE: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: frogprince
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 09:41 PM

We had a couple Uncle Toms, whom I never really knew; no Uncle Johns. Our choicest family "character" was actually Great Aunt Myrtle, my grandmother's sister. After she and my grandfather were both widowed, he married her. The two sisters weren't remotely alike. Aunt Myrtle never appeared to be short of functional intelligence, and to my knowledge she never hurt a living soul. It was just that sometimes she came accross as mad as a hatter.
    On one occasion she told us that she had been to Sea World, and saw a turtle that was 10,000 years old. But, to my memory, her shining moment was when she told us of the fantastic sights at Wall Drug, Wall, South Dakota. Did you know that they have stuffed and mechanized a number of old pioneers there, and arranged them doing things like playing music around the campfire?

Subject: RE: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: Anne Lister
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 10:53 AM

Oh, I wish my uncle John had been funny ...instead, he was an unthinking, bigoted Conservative with fixed racist views, who succeeded in getting the rest of the family united in opposing him in any discussion. Too many unpleasant memories, I'm afraid and no humour! We only wonder why on earth my funny, spirited aunt ever married him and tolerated him for so many years.
But I envy my niece and nephews the tales they will have to tell of their Uncle John (my brother).   That will be a story collection to treasure!

Subject: RE: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: GUEST,cookieless Blessings Barbara
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 12:43 AM

We had an Uncle John who fancied himself an inventor and once, at a family picnic, after explaining at length how you could wire false teeth to be audio transmitters and/or receivers he removed his false teeth to demonstrate exactly how it could happen. It was just after the potato salad and corn on the cob, and, as a small child I remember being less grossed out than the grown ups, but it was still awesome.
He managed not only to shed bits of the food from the teeth, but his instantly unitelligible commentary sprayed that end of the table with more bits of corn.
Like that?
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: Folklore: The Mudcat Uncle John Thread
From: LadyJean
Date: 02 Jun 07 - 12:26 AM

Hollowfox and I were talking. She was the one who remarked that every family has an Uncle John, who's a bit of a character and provides us with some interesting stories.
With this in mind, I am starting this thread. Tell us the story of your Uncle John.
Mine, my great uncle, John Caldwell, was born in 1877 grew up in Cincinnatti, the son of a prominent politician, in a large house on Glen Parker Avenue.
One fateful day, his mother asked him to blow the stump out of the wash house yard. I don't think she expected him to use dynamite, and I'm almost certain she didn't expect him to do it on wash day. Yes, the wash was hanging out to dry. Most of it had to be re washed, except for some of the larger pieces that had been stretched on frames, and now had large holes created by flying pieces of stump.
Great grandmother, so the story goes, sat on the back porch and laughed. She knew this was something she wouldn't have to tell John not to do again. (And she didn't have to do the laundry.)