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BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring...
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,Neil D Date: 14 Jan 08 - 11:35 AM Here some suggestions for your cabinet: Elizabeth Edwards- Secretary of Kicking Ann Coulter's Ass Valerie Plame- Secretary of Kicking Karl Rove's Ass Cindy Sheehan- Secretary of Kicking George Bush's Ass Michael J. Fox- Secretary of Kicking Rush Limbaugh's Ass Al Franken- Secretary of Truth George Carlin- Secretary of Making Sense Skivee- Secretary of Making Me Laugh My Ass Off Elizabeth Kucinich- Secretary of Anything She Wants (I'll be Under Secretary) Anybody got a recipe for smoked chicken? Hey, can we call it the Smoked Chicken Party? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 14 Jan 08 - 09:56 AM Skivee: LOL!!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 14 Jan 08 - 09:21 AM Not to mention the wahines, eh, TC? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 14 Jan 08 - 01:28 AM Bobert-a-rino, I'm behind you 100% cause your a clear thinker. I'm going to be standing in line for the Maryland primary soon. I'm eating that chicken to give me strength...and the brownies are great too. I think that you are going to be the most mellow president ever, man, and that's good, cuz we need a mellow guy like you, man. I think I'll get me another brownie, manhey youknow what we should doweshould get a bunch of this chicken and give it to couldyouturn the stereo up some,bro and then like we'll all be better cause we'll all be ya know like what they planned back then man, am I ever into these brownies, you want some more? Wat was I talkin' about? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: TC Rocker USA Date: 14 Jan 08 - 12:50 AM Hey, a Rally! Give me a Bobert campaign button. And a chicken leg. Will the new administration have a department responsible for getting musical instruments and instruction playing to every citizen? Just think of all the savings to your National Health Care budget because everyone would be healthier... A competent Secretary of Education will realize that every subject in the curriculum can be illustrated using music. History, Math, Science, Sociology, Art, Physics, Shop & Recess. "Class, can anyone tell me what instrument this is and tell us a little about it's history? Yes Miss Crabtree, that's a lute and it was popular during the Renaissance. Very good Bobby, can you play us something from that period that describes life back then? Yes. This is in the key of Ω... That was inspiring Bobby. Now can anyone tell me how the craftsmen of the time used physics, math and shop to construct it?" Bobz, you have your work cut out for you. As Secretary of Musical Enlightenment I'll work hard to ensure every citizen has a musical voice and exposure to every piece ever composed.. I'll travel all over the world bringing music to the locals. And adding the local music to the curriculum. Even if I spend all winter braving the heat of a remote Polynesian island... VOTE BOBERT and pass the chicken... Ted |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 13 Jan 08 - 08:42 AM If you can type and spell that well, Skivz, then you need another piece... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 13 Jan 08 - 01:28 AM This chicken tastes great. Did you use some kind of herbal flavoring? A secret ingredient? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 12 Jan 08 - 08:29 PM Well, there is no doubt that the Repubs know how to hold out the credit card and jus' say "Charge it" as Repub after Repub administration has done just that... Seems that the Dems have become the janitorial party... Well, the problem with cleaning up the Rwpub messes is that, unless the Dems raise taxes, the burden of cleaning up usually ends up hurtin the folks toward the bottem so... Hey, Boss Hog!!! Remember them t5ax cuts the Bush gave you??? Hope you enjoyed them... When you asked for them you said that you would use the money to invest in plants and industries that would benefit everyone... Problem is that isn't what you did... You sat back on yer lazy butts and just lent it out to middel calss and poor people to pay, ahhhhh, their bills... Guess what... Those tax cuts are history... We can better use the dough helping people rather than strappin' them with more debt... But, hey, it ain't all bad... Have some chicken... It's on the house... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 12 Jan 08 - 03:13 PM Conservatives claim to be in favor of smaller government (cough, cough)... When elected, however, they actually greatly extend the power and reach of the government...not by hiring more civil servants...not by increasing social services...uh-uh! They do it by using government money to hire a vast array of their surrogates in the private sector, people who ARE working for the government in truth (or is the goverment working for THEM?), but they are doing it AS the private sector. Mercenaries like Blackwater, for instance. Contractors like Haliburton. Those surrogates are all in private industry, and they are the personal friends and financial backers of the Neocon movement and the architects of a Neocon administration. It becomes what is truly a shadow government, an extra-legal government paid off with government money (through the awarding of contracts), which then of course pays its own employees out of the private sector. The goverment money changes hands, that's all. Being a private sector shadow government it is untouchable by the public, and a law unto itself. Meanwhile, the Neocons usually DO enlarge government in the specific areas of military personnel and various security and technical personnel, who ARE government employees. So what they do, according to the mantra of "smaller government" is they cut back on things that actually serve the public, and they increase things that serve their rich friends in private industry and the military and the huge financial organizations. "Smaller government", my eye!!! Neocons turn the government into an ever-enlarging monster by using private industry as the principle arm OF the government...and their CEO pals get richer while ordinary people lose their social services. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 12 Jan 08 - 01:41 PM The only time when government got smaller under Bush, Bush, Reagan and Nixon is when they had a budget crisis and had to cut education or welfare of some sort. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Jan 08 - 01:22 PM Little Hawk said: If I had ever found a female who was happy to be my friend and lover but have us both live in different places and carry on our separate independent lives in our own fashion...well, it would probably have worked out just fine. . . That sounds great to me! DougR said Conservatives are in favor of SMALLER government not enlarging it! So how do you explain what happened this time around? And last? They always say "smaller government" and it always gets bigger. Put Tweed in charge of taking apart Homeland Security--if you think offering that job wouldn't be construed as cruel and unusual punishment. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 12 Jan 08 - 09:34 AM i hurd, munch munch um goood chikun, I hurd on npr wut prumuses ta be a purdy gud campain song sung by Pete Segar. i only hear 2 lines but I bet it goes sumthin like this: Its the same ol merry go round which will you vote for this year the doneky or elephant year after year Its the same ol merry go round You seek change and hope when you go cast your vote what counts is who counts the damn votes Its the same ol merry go round which will you vote for this year the doneky or elephant year after year so lets shout out Bobert and be of good cheer cuz Bebert is here this year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 12 Jan 08 - 08:26 AM The boy has gotten into KFC bucket, leenia... "A Little Pot in Every Chicken" B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 12 Jan 08 - 12:48 AM Donuel, how come the URL for your 'intergalactic' stone is thai gem image. com? I'm pretty sure the Thais are in this galaxy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 07:59 PM 10-4... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 11 Jan 08 - 07:56 PM Well, alright - but be sure the Wes' Ginny slide rule is close at hand...it is handy to have near at hand when it comes to pondering affairs of state and winning campaign strategies. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 07:31 PM No, maybe you've had 'nuff... Step back from the KFC bucket, Donuel... Yo, Janie... First of all... ...Baby, please don't go... Please don't go... Second of all... ...ponderin' is a good thing... If Bush had pondered more about Iraq than things might be very differnt... Jus' ley me work on this new department and if you don't like it then you can jump ship... BTW, Rap is pulling a Guliani on the ol' hillbilly... He's juts layin' back, let me punch my wonself out and then pounce... Hey, I unnerstand that and that's okay... Rap is my bud... Heck, I even said I'd vote fir him but he's better crank up 'bout 15 or 12 new deaprtments like I have done 'er he's gonna find himself a few laps down... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:58 PM Purdy nice, Donuel... Go have some more chicken... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:43 PM I found an intergalactic stone http://www.thaigemstore.net/im01/0405125-1big.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:39 PM Isn't that where the word "ponderous" comes from? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:34 PM Uh oh. the Bobert is popndering again.... Too scary for me. I'm bailing and jumpin' over to Rapaire's team. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:27 PM $14,000 for a new roof, LH??? Man, that's a lotta dough... Thety didn't throw in some walls and a few windows, to, fir that price??? Next time, you call me and Bobert's Roofing Compnay will be more than happy to do it for less... As fir you and Janie??? Hey, you all got it made... Yer at least a thousand miles apart so that oughtta keep either of you from jus' poppin' in... But nevermind that poppin' in stuff fir now but it has got the wheels turning in my head of yet another new Department that might be helpfull... I'll popnder it some more now... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:12 PM By the way, the roof here doesn't leak. And I should hope not. I spent $14,000 on it not that long ago! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 06:06 PM Good luck at that. ;-D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 08 - 05:56 PM Well, LH, don't take so much umbrage -- you're grabbing for more than your fists will hold, like that monkey who got his hand stuck in the jar for grabbing too much. See, all I said was what you said, within the normal definition of "shacking up" which is as you know derived from the American English noun shack, a small, poor, unit of housing. The idea is you and Janie living under the same leaky roof. Now, she's already GOT a leaky roof. And I see no reason she would want to trade one for the other since both come with stacks of faded books and dusty papers, as the song says. I mean no reflection on your capacity for good friendship and your listening skills, which I do not doubt are world class. So, just for now, keep your rain-barrel waterboard technique, and I'll wander 'round here and see if I can find some other kind of trouble to stir up that would really deserve it. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 05:23 PM Amos, you are a cheeky bugger who assumes far too much. You also talk too much. There's no question about it. You need to be held upsidedown in the rain barrel every now and then, that's my opinion. You lack humility. It's true that I would drive most women crazy after awhile if living under the same roof with them. And vice versa. ;-) I know this from experience! That's why I have mostly chosen to live alone...I like it that way. It leaves my inner self in a state of calm. There's a lot to be said for that. On the other hand, I make an excellent long term friend for any woman...because I'm a good talker and a good listener. Friendship is the way to go for me. It doesn't demand putting up with each other 24 hours a day. If I had ever found a female who was happy to be my friend and lover but have us both live in different places and carry on our separate independent lives in our own fashion...well, it would probably have worked out just fine. I didn't want to be one half of a "nest", and I didn't want to raise a flock of young birds in said nest either. Them as wants to...may they be blessed and find what they want in life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: DougR Date: 11 Jan 08 - 05:21 PM Sorry Bobert, I can't accept the position. Didn't you know? Conservatives are in favor of SMALLER government not enlarging it! :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,Janie Date: 11 Jan 08 - 05:16 PM re: the TV - I gotta confess that every year, when Tarheel basketball season starts, I go to Walmart and price the dang things. *sigh* I understand LH. And I really should wait until my first marriage is legally over to start proposing. I also didn't realize you were 59. I'm looking for a younger man who can take care of me in my dotage, smiles at me across the breakfast table every morning (that I happen to be in town),and cheerfully says, "I hope you have a good long list of tasks you would like for me to do today after I'm done doing the grunt work for you in your lovely gardens, Dear," and who makes sure my bank account stays topped up while I'm travelling in warmer climes in winter while he stays home to take care of the place. Amos, alas, is right. It would never work. But you and the rest of the Cabinet can help with the weeding of the White House garden. Well, you can take turns. The work goes faster to some nice music, so we can trade off, half of us weeding and the other half entertaining. Bobert, I also think every press conference should start out with a song-circle and close with a jam of some sort. That ought to have some effect on the media, wouldn't you say? Janie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 04:57 PM You feelin' better now, P-Gator??? That's good, ol' buddy... Now come on over here and get a big (((hug)))... Sniff... I always get choked during these little guilt dumpin' sessions... Ahhhh, Amos, Hey, they is potentially consentin' adults... The "potentially", of course, related to the "consentin'" part... You can't protect LH from himself or Janie... If he wants to end up in small baggies in his own freezer, or Janie's freezer fir that matter, hey, it's his choice... That's the beauty of livin' in a feee country... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 11 Jan 08 - 04:27 PM Thanks to Tweed for linking us to that Onion article. My kid brother sent me the same link yesterday and I loved it. Yeah, I know Mr Jimmy would curb the profanity is real life, if it were really him ~ but that cuss-word-filled rant expresses my feelings quite nicely. Allow me to confess that I watch way too much TV. There was a significant period of time during which I was totally television-free, way back in college years and afterwards, for almost a full decade, 1965-73. Then I got married, quit traveling around trying to be a musician, took up a day job, and settled into a fixed address where we kept a television set. Since then, there have been long periods during which boobtoob consumption may have displaced the playing of music in my days and nights. For shame! More recently, since I bought a cheap little guitar stand and placed it next to my easy chair, I pick up my instrument and play quite often, including during commercials as well as for longer periods during which the Evil Box is actually turned OFF! While I'm confessing, let me offer the mitigating argument that my TV habit should be considered only a venial sin, not a mortal one. I watch sports, old movies (TCM), Letterman, recycled BBC stuff on PBS, but only a very few current network programs. (I enjoy some of NBC's Thursday "must see teevee" lineup: Earl, 30 Rock, and The Office.) No "reality" crap, no game shows, no cop shows (except an occasional Law & Order rerun marathon), no American Idol, etc. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 08 - 04:13 PM Ummm....Look Bobert, you being the candidater an' all it ain't my business to rectify your views or nothing...but I think first of all such an arrangement would have to be priorly and voluntarily signed up by both parties which is unlikely, and second of all...weelll, you know it wouldn't work, not at all. Janie is the sweetest and smartest girl in Dixie, but I suspect that within six months we would find a package of frozen mincemeat in the freezer named "Little Hawk, serves none". He'd drive her crazy and she'd eat him for breakfast, figuratively speaking. Trust me on this one... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 04:00 PM (chuckle) Yes, I've done that a few times. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 03:25 PM How poetic, Amos... No pun intended... We may have to rethink where you fit into the mix... An, oh yeah, some folks may juts have to pulla little double duty for the cause fir awhile... Hmmmmmmm??? Department of Sagehood??? Now, that has a nice ring to it... No, not a danged weddin' ring, LH... Don't be so paraniod... We ain't gonna inact any laws requiring folks to marry up... But maybe you and Janie could just shack up for a couple years... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 02:21 PM Hey! Those are pretty cool thoughts, Amos. You may be on the way to sagehood, old buddy... But yeah, I'm simply too old for it now. The game is done. I shall have another glorious go at it in my next incarnation when I am once again young and spry, and once again full of hope and the spirit of adventure. ;-) I've watched several generations of our dogs go through this metamorphosis from the hectic days of their youth, when they dared try anything, into the twilight of their life, when they settled for a modicum of comfort and survival. Why should I think I was the only one to avoid mortality and all its consequences? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 08 - 02:12 PM I'd rather be thrown naked in a vat full of pit vipers than go through all that. That can be arranged, Monsieur 'Ack!! :D As for not trusting the institution of marriage, perhaps it is not among your best creative powers. All a good marriage is is a poem written by two people, the end of which is unknown, the beginning of which is forgotten, but the present page of which is a matter of complete creative focus, by both authors. That's all it takes -- the institution has nothing to do with anything; at best it adds inertial resistance to a downhill slide when the poets fail. At worst, it causes them to fail by overlooking who it is that writes the book. But then, these may possibly be lessons you are too old to apply. ;>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jan 08 - 12:32 PM Many chickens have perished in the fight for freedom! I bow my head every year on National Chicken Day (February 22nd, coincidentally also George Washington's birthday) when I think of all the chickens that have died so that I can live in freedom... (sniff) Janie - Well, I'm flattered...but I have to tell you that marriage just scares the hell out of me! That's why I'm still single at age 59. I just won't do it. The engagement party, the ring, the best man, the bridesmaids, the ceremony, the cake, the tuxedo, the friggin' stupid stag party, the inlaws...GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'd rather be thrown naked in a vat full of pit vipers than go through all that. I don't trust the institution of marriage as far as I could throw it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 11 Jan 08 - 10:07 AM I'm up to date now. You buy a box, and it still works. Whew! I had a nightmare vision of every old-style television heading for the landfill on the same day. Bobert, if you become Chief Executive, you will be head of the space program. Maybe you could get me that meteorite we were talking about on the space thread. I was really sorry to hear about the 30 chickens that perished in the first such attempt. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 08 - 08:25 AM "Blow up the TV" works for me... Ain't that in in one of John Prine's songs??? Maybe that could be our theme song??? With that said, I own 3 of 'um... And I warch the news and I watch my beloved Washington football team... I knida like watchin' the news 'cause it allows me to underastand just how information is being manipulated by the media giants who wnat folks to think the way the corportists want them to think... Know thy enemy... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 11 Jan 08 - 01:50 AM Matter of fact, how about "Blow up the TV" as a campaign slogan? I have been mostly unexposed to television since 1969. When I do see it, at my parent's usually, I just don't know how I have lived without all those "new and improved' products. 50 channels and mostly nothing to watch of interest. It is the ads I find most startling. LH. I knew that, I was just funnin' ya. In actuality, it bein' leap year and all, and me likin' the way you think (mostly), I was ponderin' proposing:>) However, I'll get back to you on that after we see if Bobert gets elected. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 07:25 PM I'm not upset about it, leenia, because by my own choice I don't watch television. I get my news off the Internet and the newspapers. On the very rare occasions when I do see a television on, it is someone else's TV, not mine. Therefore, I don't need their steekin' cable TV hookup and their steenkin' 500 channels (and nothin' on!). But I do need their computer hookup, of course, so they are still getting me to pay them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 06:57 PM Leenia: No, it is not true. Worst case, you will need an electronic ancillary device in addition to your rabbit ears, if you can't afford a digital-ready TV. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 10 Jan 08 - 06:18 PM ' It makes us to become as cattle and sheep. ' Speaking of that, I have a question. When I was a little kid, television arrived. If you bought a TV set, you could turn to CBS, NBC, ABC or the educational channel and start watching. Now I read in the paper that soon that will not be true. We won't be able to have TV unless we purchase some kind of cable or digital service. Why isn't anybody upset about this? It seems to me that people are taking this much too lightly. Either that, or my belief that only 800 people actually watch television is true. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:58 PM So much for the freindly skies... It's ConAir time... But at least you won't have to take yer shoes off and get sniffed... As fir D.C.??? It used to be fun... I used to get on the danged bus when I was like 15 or so and ride down there and go in funky pawn shops and buy beer with my fake I.D. (you only had to be 18 to buy beer but every 15 year old had a fake I.D.)... And you could go where-ever you wanted... No cops on every corner... No concrete barriers... No guns to speak of... Man, as a white kid, I could go to black clubs... That D.C. was a lot of fun... Me and my homies were down there all the time... Now it is all different... No funky pawn shops... No going to black clubs unless yer black... Can't get around the joint becuase of barriers and traffic... And only rich folks can afford to live there... Fine, they ruined it... Let 'um have the sumabich... BTW, Tweezer... No one is asking you to run fir nuthin'... I just was sayin' that if I get electercated that I'd like you to run the Department of Blues... All ya gott do is just show up now and then, sit in yer office with the headphones on groovin' on Richard Johston or ol' Lightnin' CD's, orgainze a few big free blues festivals and cash the checks... No experience necessary either... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:28 PM Sounds like the perfect premise for a new Bruce Willis movie, Skivee... ;-) I predict a body count in excess of 10,000 by the conclusion of the film, and it should do wonderfully at the box office. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:22 PM I say that we should give every airline passenger a loaded flintlock and a belaying pin. Not only would the hijacker element have to rethink their plans, but I'll bet the service from the airlines and passenger politeness improves, too. "What do you mean, you sent my bags to Kuala Lampour?" Bang! "Your brat has been kicking the back of my seat since we left Sheboygan." TTHUMP! "So, you want to die for your version of Allah? I've been dying for a coke for the past thirty minutes" Bang, Thump! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:19 PM You make some good points, Tweed. ;-) I'm afraid, though, that if they moved the capitol to Natchez...or anywhere else...all the evil that you allude to in D.C. would simply follow it there and take up residence at the new location. You're right that Jimmy Carter is a gentleman and he wouldn't talk that way. That's why I think that adding all the profanity, frankly, spoils the satirical content of the whole piece and weakens the argument. But it's all a matter of taste, I guess. You know Penelope Rutledge would agree with me on this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 04:02 PM You just talked your way into a Secretaryship, Mister T!!! :D A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Tweed Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:50 PM Hey Amos, I ain't runnin' for any office like my esteemed colleague (coleegue, colig....) Bobert, but if I did and won, I would move the White House to Natchez immediately and get the hell outta D.C. It is a place of great evil and avarice and the country should not be governed from such a place of general bad vibe. Saw the new Guilliani ads down here in Florida. Lots of Pakistanis, Bhutto, nuclear explosion footage etc.etc.... They shut down the Palm Beach International Airport for his dumbass yesterday. I reckon he's starting to believe his own danged B.S. I am tired of being told to be afraid of shit I cain't control and that someone on the television knows what the fuck I need. I am tired of taking my goddammed shoes off and getting searched and sniffed at airports. If they're gonna blow me up then let them do it. But don't fuck with my freedom to at least remain in my shoes in a public place if I want to. Get rid of Homeland InSecurity. It makes us to become as cattle and sheep. Rant over....back to you Bobert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:48 PM Well, he should be here... I have the Tweezer penviled in for Secretary of the Department of Blues... He may not even know that he's on my short list for that appointment... Thanks fir clearing the "Hillary" thing up, LH... I knew deep inside it was just a mild case of infacuation and nothin' too serious... Plus I know you have been savin' yourself for Niomi but ya' better get a move on on that front 'cause you ain't gettin' any younger, old son... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:29 PM I am pure-dee pleased to see yore ugly mug in these parts again, Tweedle!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Tweed Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:21 PM My god Hawrg, you are as pure as the Canadian Blizzards. I am so sorry to have made you bumble into that. However, take out all the foul talk and everything is true, cept that Jimmy Carter, being a gentleman and and actual HUMAN FUCKIN'BEING would never have wrote any of it. I like Jimmy. Gas prices went up some during his reign but not like they have lately. And I ain't never heard of any of the others out driving nails and laying out batter boards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:12 PM No, Tweed. Too much bad language there for me to sustain any interest. I don't mind a bit of bad language...but there's a limit to what I'll put up with, and they have exceeded it. It's called "killing gnats with a sledgemhammer", in this case a sledgehammer covered in raw shit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Tweed Date: 10 Jan 08 - 03:06 PM Jimmy Carter said it all in the Onion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 02:30 PM I love these little snide hissy-fits we get into now and then... ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 02:24 PM Ah, so. Thanks for your kind consideration, or projection, or delusion. Choose any two. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 02:22 PM Yeah, sure. I have made certain observations about you too, Amos, but my sensitivity to your emotional vulnerability prohibits me from elaborating further... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 02:17 PM Dear Little Hawk: With all due respect, your love of Mrs. Clinton does not bug me or give me a problem. It just conforms certain observations I have made in the past about the Reality Distortion Field that guards your southern border, or maybe your left hemisphere, I can't tell. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 08 - 01:56 PM There's always been something I liked about Hillary, Bobert, but I'm not sure what it was exactly. Maybe it was the fact that Republicans hate her so. ;-) But mainly I made all those declarations of undying love for her just to bug certain people here...like Amos and Doug R, for example. ;-D Janie - Actually, I have no objection to being around people of all different physical sizes and types...I just hate the way Robert Crumb arbitrarily chooses to draw the imaginary women in his grotesque comics, and the sadistic way he chooses to treat them...like receptacles. I think most women would object to it too, that's my guess, and the foreword to his latest book seems to confirm that. The man's mind is in a permanent gutter. He is akin to a human armpit desperately in need of some soap. The one positive thing I can say about him is...he apparently has a good appreciation of the history of the acoustic blues. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:20 AM As for a platform - KISS , KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID Whatever the Bush family was against you are for Whatever the Bush family was for you are against. This means: So you love broccoli and want to promote it You are against Carlyle Group, Halliburton, Titan, Blackwater and war. Your motto If you are against us you ARE with us ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:12 AM Look Out deBeers you blood sucking diamond dealer, we're gonna sell rocks worth a 100 times more than yur rocks. recipe for moon rock Anorthosite Plagioclase Pyroxene Olivine Ilmenite 90% 5% 5% 0% Laundering Moon Rocks for cash: putem on Ebay. Finding moon rocks on Earth The south pole is good or meteors but if it has much iron its not the moon. Might be Mars though. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/Apollo_15_Genesis_Rock.jpg/250px- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:06 AM Oh, nothing of the sort~~I don;t think the campaign chez Rapaire is doing anything with it except occasionally guffawing. I was just being punctilious. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 10 Jan 08 - 11:04 AM Amos, do you mean to tell me that they have been using it??? Those cheap bastards said they didn't have the budget. I better get my taxi over there right quick. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 08 - 10:52 AM Well, yeah... We need something that folks can actually sing, which the current one ain't... I'm open to suggestions... No, not "Free Bird", thank you... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Dave'sWife Date: 10 Jan 08 - 09:57 AM Bobert, can we change the National Anthem to Shenendoah or This Land is Your Land? Pleeez - maybe add some verse I guess. I think Shenendoah is a better choice than America the Beautiful or God Bless America which people have agitated for over the years. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 08 - 09:45 AM Didn't that get borrowed from the Rapaire campaign? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 08 - 08:53 AM Thanks fir not sharin' the other 20 verses, Skivz... Them two were quite enough... I styill don't think we need a cabinet level department for these songs or the folks who sing them... Maybe some meds, at best, and a comforting ((hug))... Yo, LH... I understand yer position on capital punishment and it is consistent with a Bobert administration... We also agree on womenz... I though you had a thing for Hillary... What happened there??? You ain't the love-'um-and-leave-'um type, are you??? Yo, Janie... 'Round here they call any leafy thing that you boil down and eat "salad"... Don't much matter if its beet tops, mustard, kale, swiis chard... They is all very good for ya'... Lotta anti-oxidents and iron and keep you away from the Geritol.... Also, under a Bobert administartion every fast food resturant will be required to serve one green veggie with ever order of fries... Okay, we ain't gonna go as far as our moms did in makin' folks sit in McDonalds until they have eaten the veggie but at least folks is gonna know that they is good for you... That's 'bout it... And everyone keep our message in mind, "A little pot in every chicken"... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 09 Jan 08 - 11:42 PM Well, just to give you an idea of the songs I have in mind, I thought I would send along and excerpt from one of Hugill's "Unfortunate Songs Of The Sea". This one is called "A sailor reflects on his life": I just come home from across the sea stabbing whales in the place they do dwell And dropped me hook in a knocking shop with a one legged whore namma Nell Her festerin' sisters were covered in blisters they treated with unguents and gell She had beautiful teeth, One above, one beneath But oh, my lord, what a smell There are twenty more verses, each more tender than those before. Maybe you could use some version of it for your campaogn theme song? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 09 Jan 08 - 11:31 PM Or swiss chard either? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 09 Jan 08 - 11:27 PM UH-OH. Problems within the team already. I ain't losing weight, wearin' lipstick, tossin' out my old gardening boots or remembering to comb my hair just so's LH don't lose his cookies every time I walk into a Cabinet meeting. My gardens are trim and well-groomed, but I'm a natural born big boned, broad-shouldered, kinda beefy, untidy looking frump. Flat-chested, though. Moon rocks? Great idea! I got a pile of 'em started already. I understand that all those great old American cars in Cuba have been very ingeniously refitted over time with Soviet made parts and engines. All we need to do to control the deer population is to quit cutting down forests and turning them into farms, housing developments and towns. Stop making habitat for them. (A few natural predators would help too, no doubt.) We ought to be able to incorporate that into our environmental policies. I live in town and wake up to several in my yard every single morning. I can sit on my front porch late at night and by the light of the street-lamps watch small herds of 4 to 10 walk down the middle of the street toward the river, two blocks away. Don't hardly never hear or see a bunch of womenz scratchin' their heads (nor their privates either) genericly tryin' to figger out why menz is the way they are. Ponder that one. Now, do enough of us like sward chard that I should order seed? One of those varieties with all the pretty colored stems would look right nice growing along the the front fence of the White House. Janie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 10:22 PM That it does. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:44 PM WInona is a pretty lass, indeed. I quite understand your being taken with her. Perhaps she could be your UnderSecretary of the Interior. It raises some pleasant connotations. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:35 PM I don't believe in capital punishment for human beings, Bobert...except in extreme cases of military misbehaviour under wartime in an active war zone...that's a special case. In other words, I would execute my own military personnel if they were caught raping civilians, looting, and a few specific military crimes of that sort. That's because war is a situation where you simply can't allow things to get that far out of control with your own forces, it's like a cancer that can destroy a whole army and you must take immediate action to nip it in the bud. I would also give orders in some cases to fire on civilian looters if it was happening in a war zone. I would not execute normally civilians for crimes they are found guilty of, however, no matter what they have done, I would imprison them. So if Cheney was found guilty of treason, murder, whatever, I would imprison him. Deer? Yeah, if there are too many you have to reduce them somehow. gnu - How can one get to the point of knowing more about women than one wants to??? ;-) I don't get that. Look, here's a Robert Crumb version of an alluring woman: "Devil Girl" Disgusting. Here's my version of an alluring woman (Winona in company with Johnny Depp at the time): Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp Quel difference! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:18 PM Whew, Skivzz... Let me see if I have this right??? All I gotta do is go on TV and sing about bein' at sea and shackin' up with "whores" in every port??? Brillant!!! Why did this strategy escape me??? Yes, yes, yes... Now, all we need is some "whores" who will lie about me shackin' up with them to make it seem, ahhhhh, authentic, right??? Hey, Skinzz... Yer the one with all this expwerience so it shouldn't be no problem comin' (no pun intended) up with the "whores"... Please don't make 'um too uglee... I do have my pride, you know... Plus, I'm in the middle of a campaign... One thing about runnin' fir president is that you don't want to get associated with a danged "whore" that ain't got any teeth... No sir... Maybe you nedd to get up with jacqui... She is a pro... She'll find me some upstanding "whore", like Juil;is Roberts in "Pretty Woman"... Yeah, that oughtta get us electercated... Yo, Donuel... You is a genious, mah man... Mooon rocks is in!!! Folkin A, they is... Hey, like howz anyone gonna know if it came from the moon 'er from yer backyard??? We sell the somabiches that we always hit every time we try to plant a new shrub and we call 'um "moon rocks" and in no time at all we done solt up 'nuff of them moon rocks to end the national debt!!! Who would have thought that one up??? Not only do we get5 baxck into a surplus but we find folks willin' to help us take them nasty rocks outta our gardens... Janie??? You on to this one??? I mean, this is like Cowabunga X 100!!! B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:59 PM Why, that's simple President-Soon-to-be-Elect Bobert. Yer shanty sings is where a bunch of folks who never seen more than a bathtub fulla water sing about their life on the sea. It's easy. I do it all the time, arrrh. It's that kinda experience that will give your administration the people's touch...make you one of the common man...the salt of the Earth. A Department of Shanty Singing will make you one of us. Read some of my position reports, then you just go on national television and sing songs about slaughtering whales, and getting drunk, and the various rude things you will be doing to whores on shore, then you will win the hearts and minds of the people. Folks'll(that's a little sailor joke) be talking about you fer days. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:58 PM To help finance the campaign my stock broker Gorlock suggests investing in moon rocks. He says its better than gold since no one is likely to steal the moon. Art is no longer a good investment. Due to the mortgage crises even the art world is in turmoil. The $50 million Piccasso that was stolen in Spain today with the use of a crow bar and auto jack is no longer worth $50 million. The insurance company will only pay out $150 which they claim is comparable to current ebay prices. So I will donate a deed to 25 acres of moon estate which is equal to 53 hetares of moon rock which in Earth gravity is 2,566,888 metric tons of moon rock valued at 42Trillion dollars if it were on Earth. Don't spend it in one state. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:14 PM Yeah, I like Jodie Foster but I ain't gonna get no gun and shoot up Ronnie Raygun, Skivz... No, that's where I draw the line... But nevermind Ronnie fir a danged minute... What's Jody Foster got to do with Shanty Sings??? Nevermind that one... Lets get down to brass tacks here... What exactly are Shanty Sings??? Maybe we need a Department of What-Are-Shanty-Sings??? I don-no??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:05 PM "About time someone got over there and gave a Sala'am to the Iranians, sorted out the dogs in Afghanistan." I'm kinfused. Do Iranian enjoy greasy spicey sausage? And why would you put a sweater on a dog? But seriously, I think you should reconsider the Ministry Of Shanty Singing. The voices in my head say hat you should. Would you like a ride in my taxi? Do you like Jodie Foster?...Are you talkin' ta me?...are you talkin' ta ME? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:52 PM You could tie the two together in a public ceremony. How would that be? Then let the deer run. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:50 PM Well, now yer talkin', Amos... Leave them snail darters and horney owls to the tree huggers... I wouldn't have a clue, nor would I suspect you of, having mush to down with horney owls... Shoot, we all got our problems... Get over it... Nevermind that... Yer the man... Yup, the day I am innagurated you will be on your way to Iran... Not to worry, I'll be sure that there's plenty of good booze on Air Force One fir ya' so between meetin's you can sneak back to the airport to, ahhhh, go over some notes (wink, wink...) Plus I'll be sure that you not only have enough of that yummy and "highly" laced KFC chicken for yourself but for your Iranian counterparts as well... We're gonna get a deal done... Maybe even set up a couple KFC's in Iran just to keep everyone over there real happy... Know what I mean??? But we don't need to be talkin' about that right now... Just glad to have someone of yer caibre on board where we need it... Condi Rice has really messed things up but with a KFC bucket in one hand and another KFC in the other there is nothing that cannot be accomplished... Man, yer gonna love seein' Putin-head all messed up... You know why they call him Putin-head, don't ya... Of course you do... Okay, LH, you seem to br sittin' on the fence between organizing a posse to hunt down deer and sticking Cheney in jail for a couple hundred years... Yer gonna have to think this thru... Folks is countin' on you... Myself??? Ahhhhh, I like shootin' deer... Shot one of the sumabichs just a couple days ago but I'd love to be the one who escorted Cheney to a jail cell and listen to him blubbering about his bad heart an all??? Whew... It's tough... Deer or Cheney??? Cheney or Deer??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:31 PM Hell, give The Interior to Little Hawk. I'll take State. About time someone got over there and gave a Sala'am to the Iranians, sorted out the dogs in Afghanistan. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:15 PM Uh... after what LH posted, nevermind. He knows far more about women that I ever will... or want to. Gee, I hope you get over the pukes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 07:00 PM I've driven in Pennsylvania at night....yup...too dang many deer out there! Something has to be done. I would say to increase the hunting of deer in those areas where they have overpopulated and also encourage more wolves and coyotes to keep them down to a certain level. ;-) There are some deer around here too, in central Ontario, but their numbers seem to be much more moderate for some reason. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 06:43 PM Yeah, we'll put that in the platform, LH... But we'll go even further... Seein' as Cuba is full of ol' collectbale 40's and 50's American cars we'll crank up a Department of Cool Cars... And we'll have an office right there in Havana and help the Cuban's move right into updated 80's cars in exchange fir them eyesores... (hehehehe) (Bad, BObert, bad...) I'm sorry... I juts love ol' cars and, geeze, they gotta bunch of 'um... Yo, Amos, Will you make up yer mind between tax policies and snail darters and screech owls??? I mean, there's a vast difference here... Which reminds me... We gonna have to do something about these friggin' deer... The country is being overrid with the sumabichs... They is everywhere and they breed like flies... That's one for "Interior", Amos... Got any ideas, other than what we are now doing which is killin' 'um one at a time with our cars??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 06:25 PM Here's another thing I'd do: end the trade embargo on Cuba. Also, I would eliminate the existing travel restrictions to Cuba for American citizens. There is no reason why Americans should not be allowed to visit Cuba the same way they are allowed to visit any other country. And another: put an end to NAFTA. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 08 - 06:12 PM Oh, Bobert, ya got me all wrong. I proposed tax reform as a means of revitalizing the hopes f the American people, not because I want to be Treasury. I'll take State or Interior before Treasury, if you don't mind, or as I said earlier, an ambassadorship to Curacao or Aruba... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 05:54 PM Well, as you say, PoppaGator, it's a matter of taste, isn't it? I like delicate, articulate beauties like Winona Ryder in her prime, women who radiate keen intelligence, grace, and subtlety. I don't go for sweaty Earth Mothers in size 28 hiking boots. Robert Crumb's taste and mine are clearly as far apart as this planet and the outer edge of the Galaxy. I found his influence on the youth perceptions in the 60's and 70's to be lamentable, frankly, but I could say that about most of the underground artists of the time, although Gilbert Shelton did some good stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 09 Jan 08 - 05:41 PM R. Crumb just likes fat chicks, and especially enjoys being given piggy-back rides by them. The female form as he draws it is supposedly his personal ideal, even though most of the rest of us find that particular type to be unattractive. He has been married for quite a few years (presumably happily) and in recent years he and his wife have co-produced comics, each of them drawing the image of him/her self. Judging by the drawings, Mrs. Crumb is fairly heavyset, or "big-boned." They're both Americans and are currently living, more or less permanently, in the south of France. Chacun a son gout. Maybe my French spelling isn't what it used to be, but what I mean is, "Each to his own taste." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 05:15 PM Well, gol danged, look as if LH made an appealing argument for the Justice job even if I have to promise him 83 virgins to go along with it... 'Ertails somethin' like that... I'll get up with jacqui and work up the details... Meanwhile, looks as if Amos has no interest in the State Department and wants to be the resident bean-counter so, hey, what's a hillbilly to do but make him Treasuer Secretary... Hang in there, gnu... Lets see how you hold up over the next couple days before talkin' about the Under-secretary of Why-Women-Do-What-They-Do-Anyway position... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 04:36 PM Heh! That's amusing, gnu. Here's an interesting aside on the (presumed) values and attitudes of men and women. I came across a new book at my local bookstore by Robert Crumb, the (in)famous 60's comic book artist. It purports to be a collection of his "nicer" pictures, as opposed to what he usually does. He explains in the foreword that women normally hate his art because they find it ugly, offensive, and gross. He says that it appears that his natural audience, therefore, is virtually all composed of males. He goes on to say that the new book, containing a sampling of the very few less ugly, offensive, and gross pictures and stories he has done over the years, is therefore being offered as an olive branch to the female gender and people generally who find his usual art a bit hard to take. Hmmmm. Well, I am a male. I have always hated Robert Crumb's art. I mean, just hated it. It makes me want to puke. I find it ugly, offensive, tasteless, and gross. I hate the way he draws people in general, but I really seriously hate the way he draws women! My God...he could hardly make them look less appealing if he tried....he appears to be obessed with women of po-faced, freckle-faced plainness...with bad skin....faces suggesting really dumb teenage underage girls or vacuous sluts of slightly a few more years in age...all with hugely oversized buttocks and legs, very thick ankles and great big feet, crudely shaped limbs, and breasts which are relatively small in comparison in most cases, but which jut out viciously like those pointed bras that Madonna took up in the 80's. These women serve strictly as passive receptacles for various forms of sudden and 100% casual sexual assault by Crumb's male characters. The man is sick. He's totally disgusting. His art sucks. It is a degenerate assault upon everything graceful and beautiful that the human race has ever been capable of. I'm not sure if this says more about me...or about Art Crumb.... ;-) But I am totally at peace with whatever it says about me. If I had his book here, I would use it for kindling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 09 Jan 08 - 04:04 PM Almost an hour since I posted... and, I am still alive. More to add to my resumé. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 09 Jan 08 - 03:09 PM Bobert... Re "Department of Why-Women-Do-What-They-Do-Anyway..." I wish to apply for the position of Undersecretary of The Department of Why-Women-Do-What-They-Do-Anyway. I am an excellent candidate for Undersecretary of said Dept. Secretary of the Dept would have to be female, of course. If you gotta ask why, you definitely need to hire me toots sweety. In the meantime, look at the ground, shuffle your feet and say, "Oh. Yeah. Right. Sorry." As an earnest student of the teachings of John Wing, a Canuck philosopher of great social significance, and damn funny comedian, I can vouch for the effectiveness of this methodology. I would waste no time in setting up Senate hearings investigating important issues. Like... why do women get in the longest check-out line at the grocery? ... why do women ask what they can do to help on the happy-weekender-special reno project and then get pissed when you say sweeping up the dust is an important part of the job? ... why do women expect men to do half of the housework and all the yardwork? and the like... see the 347 page addenda. And, I am big on education. I would start programs to teach men the basic principles of understanding "Why-Women-Do-What-They-Do-Anyway." It's not rocket science, but few men grasp the basics of the workings of the female mind.... my "Leave no man behind" policy will ensure that all males have the opportunity to grasp and employ these tools or, at least, hold their own. Thank you for your time and for your consideration. I look forward to your positive contact in this regard. Sincerely, gnu PS If I have offended any females by my application... oh, yeah, right, sorry. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 09 Jan 08 - 03:01 PM Whether it's gonna be Little Hawk or CarolC, perhaps the head of or reconstitted Justice Dept. should be designated "Secretary of Justice" rather than "Attorney General," assuming that we take our cue from Willy Shakespeare and "First, kill all the lawyers." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 02:24 PM I think your taxation ideas are very good, Amos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 09 Jan 08 - 02:08 PM Addendum: By "any entitiy" in the ten percent provision above is meant any organization or individual regardless of profit status, charitable purpose, religious, philosophical or fraternal, commercial, or any other that generates an income stream as an entitiy. That'll poke the Papists and the Mormons, but it is only fair. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 08 - 01:52 PM You have some great ideas there, Amos. Bravo! Yes, CarolC would make an excellent Attorney General. I would try Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, and a host of others in the administration for international war crimes. I would also charge a number of people, Karl Rove included, for massive election fraud in 2000...and perhaps in 2004 as well. And I would imprison them if and when they were convicted. But aside from that, Bobert, I would not put myself through the hell of being President of the USA (as you suggested) unless I could be guaranteed a fulltime 24 hour a day escort by none less than God's Angels in a phalanx around me...armed with heavenly swords...and with the Archangel Michael at their head. And I'll tell you why. Because the powers-that-be in the USA Corporatocracy, military and CIA would kill someone like me if he became President. Make no mistake about it. No earthly power could keep a person like me alive in that office, so there'd have to be Divine help or there'd be no hope of survival. I kid you not. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 09 Jan 08 - 09:14 AM Actually, John, I've been seriously contimplatin' a Department of Why-Women-Do-What-They-Do-Anyway... I believe this would be very helpfull for men everywhere... I'm thinkin' of a 24 hours hotline, 1800WOMENZZ where when you have again stood in line at the grocery store and the checker has just run two shopping carts full of stuff thru the scanner and the woman is amazed that the checker actually, ahhhhh, expects her to pay??? Yeah, stuff like that... It would make being a man alot easier knowin' that maybe someone out there is also trying to figure 'um out... But nevermind that women department... Yo, Amos... Why not just cut the Pentagon by 50% with half of the savings going to Energy R & D and the other half going to the Department of Peace... But I like you tax proposal... The $45,000 exemption should offset the regressive nature of the "flat tax" aspects... Yo, P-Gator, As for LH being the Attorney General, nah... He's too nice... Yeah, he like to woof, woof now and then but if it came to even stickin' Dick Cheney in jail, Dick would break down cryin' and LH would just give Cheney a big hug and tell him to "Sin no more" before letting Cheney go free... No, we gonna have to have someone who will be sure that Cheney does his time... I think CarolC is the right person... She'd throw away the key, fir sure... Yo, John, Play nice, now... We allready went thru that scenerio with jacqui... She says she can not only handle foriegn "affairs" but like it on top... Nevermind that, John, but don't ya love it when women talk dirty??? Nevermind that, as well... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:52 AM D'ye know gnu, I purposely resisted making that crack! G |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 09 Jan 08 - 08:43 AM The Oval Orifice? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Jan 08 - 05:56 AM Another thing Bobert, when you become 'The Prez'(thanks Lord Buckley) there is one thing I want you to set up a Senate Committee to investigate; and it is this. WHY CAN'T WOMEN CUT BREAD STRAIGHT??? I trust you will give this matter your future and earnest consideration. Thanks Giok P.S. Will there be cigars in the Oval Office? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 09 Jan 08 - 01:28 AM Promote Little Hawk to Attorney General, head of the Justice Dept. Of course, he is Canadian. Will we need to put through a merger? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 08 Jan 08 - 11:26 PM All y'all smart folks work out the details of that stuff. I got a garden to put in. Hey Chanteyranger, bring up another garden cart of compost, would ya? Time to get lettuce and such seeded. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:56 PM Hell, Bobert, I yam behind the scenes here busily making kings and you want me to jump and shout, huh? Well all right. 1. The Federal Tax Code is canceled in every part. 2. A uniform ten percent per annum tax on income is established on any entity, corporate or individual, earning in excess of forty-five K/year. 3. A consittutional amendment shall be proposed to ensure the citizens rights to pay no more than fifteen per cent income taxes to all entities federal or state in any year. 4. All Federal employees rendered supernumerary by these changes shall be employed in identifying Federal waste and fraud and rectifying same. 5. The Patriot Act is hereby canceled. 6. A Consitutional Amendment requiring the collection of intelligence concerning American ctizens to be governed by the same judiciary rules as other infringements -- in other words by warrant duly sworn and publically recorded -- only, shall be proposed. 7. One quarter of the military budget shall be re-allocated to Energy Research and development with a focus on renewables. That's all I git this eveing...more if you need it later. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:46 PM Sheet, LH... I can't hardly keep up with ya'... Maybe you outta be bresident and jus' let me handle the Department of Pot??? (maybe too much pot, Bobert???) No, ain't that... Jus' slow typin' skills... Did you ask me about too much pot??? Funny question... Let me get back to you on that one.... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:38 PM Folkin' A, LH... Danged you is fired from both the Department of Rocks and the Departemnt of Steering Wheels and you is the front runner for Department of State... Amos, bu bud, has been slackin'... Maybe it's a California thing, I don't know but he may ensd up on the island contimplatin' rocks if he don't get with the program... (But, Bobert, that would be mean...) Okay, Amos, how 'bout, ahhhhh, Secretary of Calofornians??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:28 PM Oh, regarding marijuana...legalize it for personal use and personal possession only. Allow anyone to grow it privately and smoke it who wants to. Do NOT allow any commercial business or company or organization to package it, advertise it or sell it under any brand name whatsoever! Give it back to the ordinary people, in other words, because ANY fool can grow and harvest his own marijuana all by himself! (I know, I've seen proof of that...) You do that, and it no longer offers anyone a big profit...because it's simply not hard to acquire anymore! The crime network around it is thereby eliminated. The legal problems are eliminate. And the use of it, in my opinion, would not change much at all, because the same people who smoke it now would smoke it then. Furthermore, it would no longer have that "forbidden" aura that is so irresistible to young people going through the rebellious years of their teens and early 20s. It would be totally ordinary, which is what it is, frankly. Regarding all other harmful drugs: penalize the manufacturers and the sellers...NOT the users. Drug use is not a crime, it's a weakness. It's a medical problem. Such problems are never solved by attacking those who are using the drugs, because they are NOT the criminals...they're people with a social/medical problem who are being taken advantage of by criminals. This can also true of alcoholics, gamblers, and cigarette smokers, of course...if they are unable to control their addictions. If, under the influence OF a drug, a person commits a crime, then prosecute him for the crime itself...not for the drug use. The drug use itself is not truly criminal in nature, but the crime (whatever it might be) is. Taking a drug is a person's own business and nobody else's...but when he commits a crime that affects others...THEN that IS other people's business, and he should be prosecuted for it. Not for the drug use, for the crime. Example: To get drunk is not a crime if you don't hurt anyone else or damage anyone's property. It's a personal weakness, for sure, it's a personal problem, but it isn't a crime. To get drunk and drive dangerously on public roads is a crime. To get drunk and disorderly and then assault someone or destroy property is a crime. A crime is a harmful act committed against society and against other people (or animals, etc). Drug use in itself is not a crime, it's a weakness. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:19 PM put the video game playing teenagers and old Majong players to work. Good answer bobert. It was very much like a Bill Mahre solution (before the writers strike) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:06 PM Folkin' A, Beezer... You realize that 'bout a nillion cannibus plants would counteract 'bout the emissions that 250,000 SUV's leave in their wake??? Yes, yes, yes... Hey, forget growin' them sumabichs in the closets... You gotta bring it out of the closets... That's what it's about.. Let yer hair down and grow it in yer backyards and help offset the SUV'ers... Everyone needs to get the heck outta the closets... Plants included... Hey, ain't like some mad scientist hybridizer made cannibus... God made it and God ain't no crackhead, is He??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:02 PM I've got a few foreign policy suggestions. Give Guantanamo back to Cuba. Give the Panama Canal back to Panama. Close American military bases in the Middle East and other Third World areas and bring those troops home. Begin serious negotiations to (by progressive stages) reduce ALL country's nuclear arsenals and other WMDs, including the USA and Russia. Said reductions to be equally proportionate to each country's existing arsenal. That is, everybody starts by reducing what they have now by, say, 15%, and go gradually from there on a schedule. Have a return to international law as follows: NO country is EVER allowed to attack another country first upon any excuse. If they do, then they are automatically considered to be technically at war with the entire rest of the world, and treated accordingly. Such treatment would reasonably begin with trade sanctions, the freezing of that country's overseas assets, and diplomatic pressure, with a military response on the part of the rest of the world as the last possible resort....and it would not be necessary, providing the world stood strong on the previous measures...not even against such a large power as the USA. Stop crippling the Third World by burdening them with gigantic loan payments that they cannot possibly ever repay. Forgive those past debts now, and start over with a clean slate. Act to raise the wages of Third World people everywhere through improving their infrastructure and economy, so that OUR jobs are not continually exported out of America, and so that poverty-stricken Third Worlders are not driven to become economic refugees who flee their own lands and try to get into North America and Europe. Give them a better standard of living where they LIVE. If this was done, there would not be millions of Latin Americans and Asians trying to get into the USA (and Europe) all the time. It is inequality and economic injustice that has destabilized the world, not terrorism. Terrorism is an aftereffect of the anger and despair caused by an irresponsible foreign policy, American military interventions, the support of client dictators in the Third World, and the maintenance of gross economic inequality in the world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jan 08 - 08:48 PM Why is the department that oversees the great outdoors called the Department of Interior? It should be the Department of Exterior! I assume correcting this mistake will be high on Prez Bobert's list of priorities. Right after tax credits for construction of grow rooms. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 07:01 PM Well, gol danged, LH... Ain't you the only one here that goes off once a year to some island, sits atop the highest point and grove with rocks??? Or did I imagine that...; If so then I have it that you know something about steering wheels so maybe we need a Secretary of Strerring Wheels... I don't know... Right now my head hurts... Think I'll go eat a cannibus chicken leg... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Riginslinger Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:35 PM Who do you want for Homeland Security. That guy they've got now looks like one of the refugees from Roswell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:07 PM Why is it that you want me for Secretary of Geology, Bobert? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: PoppaGator Date: 08 Jan 08 - 06:04 PM Perhaps the Bobert administration will need a facilitator to ease communications between the blues people and the shantiers. It could be a very difficult job, since one group claps on two and four and the other on one and three. Nevertheless, I'll step forward and assume this arduous task, seeing as how nobody else is any better qualified... (Now, I'm sure that there are many hereabouts who are equally fit for the job, but ~ I axed first!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:34 PM "Seein' as I am a bluesman there ain't gonna be no Department of Shanty Songs" But it's a natural fit. Lots of shanties are chock-a-block full of rocking and rolling all night long. And most shanties are songs of the deep blues seas. Why, Robert Johnson was a sailor, hizself. That's when he learned how to whale. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 08 Jan 08 - 05:26 PM After we fix the tabs on the seat belts, could we write a new tune for our national anthem? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:58 PM Ahhhh, that one is easy, Donuel... Tell the lazy corportists, their wives, bothers, sisters and kids to get off their lazy butts and get to work with the rest of US... Ahhhh, gnu... Yeah, Okay... I kinda like the pot in every chicken idea and it could be done in the chicken houses which would make the chickens alot happier about their situation... Yup, stone the heck outta them chickens so that when they finally get to KFC there'd be 'nuff THC in a chicken to keep a family of 4 stoned 'til bed time... Brilliant, my boy, brilliant... See how things work out when you have creative folks in the cabinet??? Now as for Shanty Songs??? Seein' as I am a bluesman there ain't gonna be no Department of Shanty Songs... Not even an agency... Might of fact, not even an exploratory commission... Department of Blues??? Yeah??? My buddy, Tweed, is going to head that one up... Us fir you shantiers??? Well, I'll have to ghet back to ya' but not to worry... You'll get treated better that the banjo players... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:27 PM Bobert, Eddie Bauer, Travelocity, United Airlines and a hundred other corporations who use 25 cent a day US prison labor are wondering what you will do to replace their lost "income". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:43 PM Now hold on a tic, Secretary Gnu. I am sure that President Bobert will be notifying me of his intent to appoint me Second Assistant Undersecretary of Shanty Singing very soon. Part of his decision no doubt will be in response to the recent publication of my book about the extensive use of hemp product during the days of sail. This tome,"Iron Men and Weeden Ships", clearly shows that the mantle of the perview of the subject at hand falls squarely with the mandate of our agency. Please don't start an ugly inter-agency turf war over grass. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: gnu Date: 08 Jan 08 - 03:19 PM Well... if Rap had actually promised to do nothing, instead of just trying not to foul up, I might have considered a Secretary appointment. As yet, he hasn't contacted me in that regard, which is a good sign, but still not a sure thing. However, since Bobert has made his #2 priority (2. Legalize marijuana and let the governemnt distribute and tax it...) a pot luck thing, I offer my services as Secretary of Dopes. I figure that if I am in charge of pot, nobody will remember that thing about the gubmint distributing and taxing it. And, yes, I will advise Bobert to make sure there a little pot in every chicken. How else could you really enjoy the giblets? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 08 Jan 08 - 01:54 PM OK Ernie's out. How about Fark Moley. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: SINSULL Date: 08 Jan 08 - 10:16 AM Not my gifts... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,Seiri Omaar Date: 08 Jan 08 - 10:01 AM The gifts, of course, will be chosen in accordance to how much we like them. :D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: SINSULL Date: 08 Jan 08 - 09:29 AM Can I be Commerce Secretary? I want to be the person who chooses gifts for Foreign Heads of State and wedding gifts for their daughters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,PMB Date: 08 Jan 08 - 04:26 AM Throw your hat into the ring? It's better than throwing your ring into your hat (see thread on UK plague). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Beer Date: 07 Jan 08 - 09:54 PM Who?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 09:41 PM Heck, I'd vote fir Rap myself... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: topical tom Date: 07 Jan 08 - 05:45 PM Long live competition! It's true democracy.I hope more candidates present themselves though. I'm leaning toward Rapaire at the moment.(As if I had a vote!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:30 PM Hmmmmmmmmm? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:15 PM Aaawwww C'mon Bobert - just think - all the attention would be directed at my department leaving you to sweep through all the reforms you want because you will look so squeaky clean.............. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:10 PM No Tinkie Winkies in a Bobert administration.... Ahhhh, not that I have any negative persoanl feelings one way or another on T-Ws, mind you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Peter Kasin Date: 07 Jan 08 - 04:04 PM But what about Bert's domestic partner Tinkie Winkie? Will he get to stay in the White House? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 12:36 PM LOL, Amos... Like that ain't gonna happen... The only reason I'm runnin' from the job is to get out from unnerneath her endless honey-do list... Speakin' of unnerneath... Ahhhhh, let me see if I have this correct, jacqui... You not only want to handle "foriegn affairs" but you want the Capt'n unner you??? Whew!!! You go, girl!!! ...but that's kinda what got Clinton in all them troubles so I think we'll have to find somethin' else fir you to do that does not involve either affairs or you on top of the Capt'n... But a glossy photo for the Oval Office might make fir an ice breaker, ahhhhh, strike that... conversation piece, ahhhh, strike that one, too... Please, no photographs... But thanks, B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Amos Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:50 AM I don't think Ernie -- if you mean the Sesame Street puppet -- would be a good choice. There are rumours he might be gay. I don't thinkhe could survive the backlash from the right. And in any case he is blue, and we haven't yet succeeded in electing a brown person, let alone someone from one of the extreme ends of the spectrum. I would recommend to Bobert that as a clear path to the greatest good and his own maximum chances to election that he take the unprecedented step of nominationg P-Vine as his Veep. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Donuel Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:33 AM Bobert & Ernie in 08 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 07 Jan 08 - 10:08 AM Well, I keep telling people that there is no "Shane" but they don't believe me. Besides, if there is a "Shane" he's Canadian and not something the US should deal with. Unless, of course, we sent in a few battalions of US Marines, giving him the Noriega Treatment...even though Canada might possibly object just a little bit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:40 AM The Cap'n can be the Under Secretary.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:24 AM "Foriegn affairs". jacqui??? Yer gonna have to have the Capt'n sign off on that one... Look what happened last time... B;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: ard mhacha Date: 07 Jan 08 - 08:06 AM DougR, Do not worry, looking at your nominations from afar, a black man and Mrs Clinton haven`t a hope, get that ol bible thumped and you are more than half-way there, your Republicans will win again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:43 AM I think I'm qualified to run the Foreign Affairs department........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:36 AM Well, some fine ideas to ponder... Heck with bringin' the food to Washington... All we need is a roto-tiller, few tons of manure and some seed from Gung Seed Company... Oh yeam a few chickensm cows, one bull, etc... and some fencing... Yeah, we'll turn the White Hose grounds into an organic garden, collect rain in barrels and all... Then when the school children come to visit the White House they can get a real life lesson on what it meanms to be "green"... That's yer new job, Janie... Secretary of Gardening with Chanteyranger as yer under-secretary... You two will do a bang-up job..., Okay, the hours will be long and the pay lousy but the... ...the food won't make ya' sick, 'er nuthin'... Yo, Rigs, I think I've come up with the perfect job fir you... Secretary of Knotheads... Yep you have more patience than I do with 'um so when they come 'round buggin' me about meaningless stuff I'll just refer them to the Department of Knotheads and you can wrestle with 'um... Seein' as most of them is borderline (or not) insane we can take some money outta the ol' mental health budget to fund your department... (But, Bobert... Their ain't no more money in the mental health budget... The privitized fuirms stole it all and laid off all the mental health workers...) Hmmmmm, let me think on this one... Yo, Skivee, Gonna have to think on that run on sentences thing seein' as I have alot of other very important matters to deal with and all you know what I mean I'm sure... Yo, SRS... I can't rightly make you Secretary of State as in your case it would "states"... Maybe we need a new Departmant of States??? Lettma ponder that while you arrange for Dubya's stay at Guantanemo... Make sure that he get's a private tour of the waterboarding area... Yo, leena, Done deal... Them things bug me, too ... Maybe we need a Department of Design where every product is reviewed for it's sensibility??? Well, folks, I think we're off to a good start here and just keep pluggin' away and remember our slogan: "An organic garden in every yard and waterboard the waterboarders..." B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Peter Kasin Date: 07 Jan 08 - 07:07 AM Bobert, how about a White House chef who would set a national example with all organically farmed produce and meats in all White house meals, including state dinners and parties, with the food bought from independent farmers and ranchers? What do you think? Alice Waters for White House Chef. Chanteyranger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Skivee Date: 07 Jan 08 - 01:52 AM Since my missives to Rapairee's political machine have yielded little except his derision when I point out the ongoing Shane problem, I would be glad to present myself to the Bobert For President Campaign for consideration as Second Underseretary of Shanty Singing and run-on sentences. I have my own car, if that makes a difference. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 Jan 08 - 12:04 AM I've lived in a lot of states--I could at least be the Secretary of State who had lived in Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Texas, New York, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Tennessee, and I almost moved to New Mexico. I've visited a whole bunch of others. I'd be uniquely positioned to address affairs of state outside the states. My first act would be to somehow get Dubya's ass incarcerated at Guantanamo. That okay by you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 06 Jan 08 - 11:23 PM Bobert, if I vote for you, will you make a law that says that the plastic tabs on the seat belts in back seats must be color coded so you can see which inny goes into which outy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 06 Jan 08 - 10:07 PM Nothin' much as it looks like the Company I work for is finally gasping it's last. My Christmas bonus was a 26% pay cut, and they are starting to pull assets like company cars out and taking them back to their home office in Ohio. So - I am definitely available and not at all choosy about the work involved:>) OK. Food. Good, simple, healthy, in season fare. Light on the meats. If you plan the campaign trail accordingly, I reckon I'll hitch a little wood trailer to the back of the old Merc. Sable, fill it with top soil and slap a cold frame on it. That'll take care of a lot of the greens, and I'll hunt up chickweed, creasy greens, violet leaves and the like as we go along. That means we can't campaign in Maine, Michigan, or Minnesota til the weather breaks. Being as how we'll be bonafide politicians, I reckon we can legally raid a henhouse or two as we go along, only I ain't ringin' their necks, pluckin', or scaldin' 'em neither. I'm gonna need an assistant for that sort of thing. In a pinch, I will skin a rabbit, tho'. Hey, that gives me an idea! We can make little rabbit's feet keychains and hand 'em out to people for luck, in case you actually get elected - no - wait - that didn't come out quite right.... I dunno. Maybe it would be best to stick with beans, cornbread, molasses and sassafras tea. Or maybe some one else should be in charge of food. Now I think about it, I'd rather be Secretary of Long Sentences, not the prison kind, mind you, the kind that beaurocrats write. I'm real good at that Bobert. I got real talent in that department. 'Course, if Rap were to make me a better offer.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Riginslinger Date: 06 Jan 08 - 10:06 PM I'm there for you. Anything I can do... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 09:05 PM Depends, Janie... What do you have in mind??? No McDonald's stuff... This is gonna be the healthy administartion with lots of fresh and organic stuff... Baked tubors... Leafy stuff... What the country folks refer to as "salad"... Okay, maybe an occasional French Fry but no trans-fat... And why do folks always fry up them russets??? Nevermind that one... I can live with the sumabich russets but no transfats... Maybe we ned a Department of Healthy Foods??? Yo, Janie... What you got planned fir the next 4 years??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Janie Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:56 PM Can I be in charge of the food? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:37 PM Well, yeah, SRS... He does have a way with words... Then who is going to be Secretary of State??? You want it??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:35 PM I think Amos should be the Secretary of Poetic Licensing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 08:01 PM Now, now, wee-zer...no hand grenades... Yo, Rap, I was kinda thinkin' that you'd make a good VP??? Whaddayathink??? Yeah, I had Amos pegged for Secretary of State... LH for Secretary of Geology... Donuel fir Secretary of Peace... Ot Larry, if we can find him... CarolC for Secretary of of Trouble-makers... Kat as Secretary of Interior Design... WYSuzie as Secretary of Advice... LEJ as Secretary of Harmonicas... DougR as Secretary of Ol' Farts... Other positions are still open... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Big Al Whittle Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:54 PM throw a hand grenade in the ring..... didn't say whose ring! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:47 PM No, let it end on November 2, the Dia del Morte. Hallowe'en is scary enough for kids without a bunch of politicians popping up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Rapparee Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:41 PM Copycat. I am going to do all those things and more, just by resigning. But I'd like to see a change to campaigning laws: NO campaigning or soliciting for campaign money before September 1. On that day the parties have their conventions and choose their candidates, followed by a nation-wide Primary on September 8. All campaigning ends on Hallowe'en, and all signs, etc. have to be removed on that day. On the second Tuesday in November everybody votes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:40 PM Now what's that 'sposed to mean, Dougie??? BTW, I'm thinkin' of creating a Department of Ol' Farts, the Dof, and was wonderin' if yer free to head it up... Awww, jus' funnin'... Last I heard you had a new wife 'bout half yer age and you were to buzy (wink, wink...) for much more... ...but, then again, maybe you need a break??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: DougR Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:28 PM Well it certainly will, Bobert, if your effort is successful. :>) DougR |
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Subject: BS: Bobert Throws Hat in the Ring... From: Bobert Date: 06 Jan 08 - 07:22 PM Well, what the heck do I have to lose??? Nevermind that one... So I'm startin' a new party called the Bull Head Party and I'm runnin' and now takin' applications for VP... Here's my ***10 Point*** platform... 1. Reform the elction laws to prevent brain dead people who think NASCAR is one of the 3 branches of governemnt from having their votes count... 2. Legalize marijuana and let the governemnt distribute and tax it... 3. Establish 2 new Departments: The Department of Peace, for which I will appoint Dennis Kucinich as Secretary and the Department of Geology (rocks, danged it) for which Little Hawk will head up... (Head up, Bobert???)... Ahhhh, will be the 1st Secretary... 4. Yup, Get-the-Fu*k-Outta-Iraq... Like now!!! 5. Campaign finance wil prohibit all contributions from individuals... You want knock on doors and lick envelopes then knock 'n lick to yer heart's delight but all campaign will be publically financed... 6. Re-establish habeas corpes, repeal legislation that allows the governemnt to circumvent the FISA court, close Guantanemo and waterboard the following people: George Bush, Dick Cheney (3 times), Condi Rice, Richard Pearle, Paul Wolfowitz, Karl Rove and anyone else that needs a good waterboardin'... Then abolish it!!! 7. Establish diplomatic realtions with Iran... 8. Buy back every "non commercial" vehicle and melt them down an remake fuel efficient hybrids... 9. Establish a commuter tax and give tax incentives to "work-live-play" communities... 10. Establish tax incentives and laws to create public/private partnerships between industry and the prison/indusrial complex that, with coupled with reduced sentencing, will de-incarcerate the mllions of Amerccans who are now locked up... This also includes sex offenders who are doing de-facto life sentences in mental health facilities... Yeah, those are the basics... There's alot more but we'll start herer and work out way forward... I ask for you votes and your support and God Bless America (it sho nuff needs it)... Bobert |
