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Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 04 May 00 - 11:56 PM That one stank Bill.....but I love it. I always enjoyed those "merger" jokes, I guess because the first one I heard I still like. Remember when there was a Mercury Comet and a Plymouth Valiant? They were going to combine and come out with the "Vomet (it)" available in 12 pukey colors. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 04 May 00 - 06:33 PM it seems that, with all these big corporate mergers, you never know WHO owns WHAT anymore...now, I hear, Budweiser is buying Betty Crocker!!..They even have a new product coming out... (scroll down) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Pisquick" ok, ok...sorry......(well, not really..) |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: wysiwyg Date: 04 May 00 - 03:04 AM My son, age 3, peed in the catbox. The kind with a lid. Ever the sleepwalking little gentleman, he did lift and replace the lid. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 04 May 00 - 12:47 AM To the best of my recollection it is Firesign Mark. From exactly when or what, I no longer remember...they had such funny stuff....... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mark Cohen Date: 04 May 00 - 12:35 AM Let's see, where to start...? Sam, I believe "paka" is Hawaiian for plant or leaf or weed, and "lolo" is crazy. It's Puna gold, Cannabis sativa. Neo probably knows from her trip to Pahoa (though I'm sure she didn't inhale). Spaw, I don't know the source of your ditty fragment (that's *not* a scatological reference), but it reminds me of a Firesign Theatre mini-parody: Back in the saddle again Out where a friend is a friend Where the vegetables are green And you can pee right into the stream (And that's important!) Back in the saddle again Ray, it's nice to see you're hanging out in the best places here at the 'Cat! Sorcha, my then 5-year-old stepson did it once in a wastebasket, and once in a box of books. At least he knew to find a receptacle... And ladies, you don't have a monopoly on the dreaded dribble. From elementary school I recall: "No matter how you shake and dance/The last few drops go down your pants." Why am I spending my time doing this when I could be typing up chart notes? (There's a question that answers itself.) Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 03 May 00 - 10:53 PM ooohhh, my...**BOOM**...*big grin*.... durn, Sam...you sure have a store of 'elimination' stories...comes from clean living, I'll bet... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 03 May 00 - 10:17 PM Since the wee tarts have taken us outdoors to tinkle, guess I can pass wind there too.
Scene: The "Desert Road" central North Island NZ, open land with tussock grass. Cast of some 100 soldiers have "gone to ground" on either side of the road. All that can be seen is a few whip aerials. I'll say this for the NZ Army - we were gentlemen - not a single catcall or wolf-whistle to embarass the lass. No, we just saluted as we passed her pissin'. As for the sheila? Tough tarts, our Kiwi birds. Not a scream - just blushed crimson and kept on streamin'.
Scene: Buller Gorge (South Island NZ), quite a large river. Near bank - three of us are finishing laying a charge of "Jelly" (gelignite) to blast rock for a fireplace we're building. Far bank - quite high above us, is a layby, well screened from the road, but not the river. Oh the memories you guys are unleashing "If they asked me, I could write a book"...;) lol - Sam |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: GUEST,Philippa Date: 03 May 00 - 03:02 PM there were 5 constipated men in the 5 books of Moses...the first...was Moses, he took the tablet, ..etc. Oh dear, what can the matter be, seven ladies locked in a lavatory They were there from Sunday till Saturday Nobody knew they were there (tune Johnny's So Long at the Fair_ |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 11:33 AM ....Where the air is clean And you can pee in the stream, And shit on the prairie all day. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mooh Date: 03 May 00 - 11:19 AM Metchosin, It's some sort of connection to a more primitive existence, a purity of thought and earthy vibe. Nothing at all to do with being too lazy to go inside to use the plumbing, as some of my family would propose. If only I couls always live like that...someday, some way... Peace, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:37 AM Well Elle, Alas for timezones and tired ones. The Sugar Dog yields the floor to the sick puppy. (Be sure to leave some goofy girl crap on it!) A warm bed waits, and the heart of Hardiman the Fiddler, in it, is more precious yet than all the Sugar Dog Men ever made. (Elvis? Sugar Dawgs? Great tuh make yuh acquaintance, girl!) AHHH-OOOOOOHHHH..... to rule the night while dreaming all the love there is, while curled up with all the love one needs, while smiling a whole day's smiles, and while dreaming smiles for another day.... Takes a Sugar Dog! Thankyouverymuch! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 03:19 AM Horse piss is delightful, but I'm a sick puppy too. Imagining Sorcha's crab dance when uphill goes the wrong way....... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 03:17 AM its a knck sorch you got to lean to choose your terrain carefully and take in the spatter factor.
Speaking of calls of nature, I had one that was cut short and scary a couple of years ago. My daughter and I were out for a short spin and I, as usual, had to get off to relieve myself. While I was checking the spatter factor, my daughter was holding the reins for me and said "For Chr**T sakes Mom get back up and hurry". By this time my little beastie was dancing around making the hoisting of pants and remounting a little awkward to say the least, but I finally managed it on the fly. And spent the next four kms with a dancing, crow hopping lathered horse, which in bush country here, can be pretty nerve wracking. Turned out that Ceilidh and the horses had noticed a cougar purring on a rock outcropping twenty feet above our heads and I couldn't hear it over the chorus of "me water". True story. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 02:59 AM OK, I said I was going to bed but just have to say this----drover coat or no, I always pee on my feet! Up hill always runs the wrong way!! |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 02:59 AM Ah horse piss...isn't that the most warm wonderful sweet aroma, or maybe I'm just a sick puppy? |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 02:53 AM Oh YES! My drover is a must-take when we go running cattle. Modesty is not a problem, however, I have a horse that has the strangest habit of urinating whenever I stop to do so, so it is never a secret anyways.... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 02:48 AM Elle, I got the shake down pat and I didn't even have to read How To Shit In The Woods to learn it. Another handy thing for women is the drover coat. You can be your own biffy and drop your drawers even in mixed company without hardly loosing a shred of modesty. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: DADGBE Date: 03 May 00 - 02:29 AM Many more years ago than I care to admit to, Joe Hickerson sang a song with a chorus of: Why don't they make diapers of a light yellow color? Why don't they make diapers of a bright golden hue? Why don't they make diapers of a light yellow color? And green when the baby comes down with the flu. Anybody remember the rest? |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 02:08 AM Can I tell about the time I cleaned my Auntie's out house with rag weed? Was playing house, and SCRUBBED that sucker down,walls, seats, you name it. Left sap on everything. Or maybe the time (not so long ago) that our son went sleep walking and we caught him streaming off the back steps into the drive way (in town, with flush available)? Oh, yea, rag weed is a MAJOR allergen, for those who don't know......... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 01:58 AM Metchosin: you can always share too if ya like...I always tell the fella that I might not be able to write my name in the snow, but I can dot an 'i' like nobody's business!! ~Elle |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Cap't Bob Date: 02 May 00 - 11:12 PM Great song Bill D, and you can always clean up with Grandma's Lye Soap. When I was a youngster my grandparents had a three hole outhouse with a mama hole, a papa hole and a little kids hole between the other two. Last stop before going to bed at night. The acoustics were not too bad except for being a little heavy on the bass end. Cap't Bob |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 02 May 00 - 10:48 PM Mooh, my husband does too.....he says it gives him a certain kinship with his dog that he otherwise would not have.....and eating out of his (the dogs) dish is not something he wishes to share. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 02 May 00 - 10:15 PM Hi Mark, So THAT's where "shicker" comes from - always wondered - known the term since a kid. And what's "pakalolo" - drugs I assume? Nearest I can get to it With Maori/Hawaiian r/l u/o transliteration is "pakaru" = break/broken so, would be approriate for a "narcs bust" eh? Does anyone else smell a funny sotra sulphurous smell entering this tread? Methinks, there's a "fluff" (fart/mistake) Spawning at last...;) Sam
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mooh Date: 02 May 00 - 08:57 PM Mark Cohen, Ha ha ha. My shit don't stink none at all! Don't know about Gordon Lightfoot's. Truth is, one sacrifices oneself to the stench when the view is inspiring. I've had alot of inspired craps over the years. God, I miss that outhouse! I still however piss in the trees just so I can watch the lake at the same time. Surprisingly, I don't hit myself too much. Peace, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mark Cohen Date: 02 May 00 - 07:17 PM Thanks, 'Spaw, you had me worried. I was about to post a message to the effect that this thread seemed to have you [nearly] speechless. But you came through, after all. Ah, I think I hear that chopper now... Nope, it's just the county narcs looking for pakalolo. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 May 00 - 10:20 AM Been away, can't be bothered to read through them all, so apologies if this has been mentioned. At the Wimborne Folk Harvest, Dorset, there was a large Masonic hall which was given over to the festival for concert and session space. There were concerts in the hall, music sessions in the bar and in the toilets, the song sessions. These cloakrooms were just that - a huge open area where Masons could change into what ever Masons wear.... It became part of the Accoustic Bog Society and the singarounds and shanty sessions there became legendary.... Plus you got a great view of all the blokes who came it to use the facilities at the far end of the room (modestly screened by partitions....) LTS |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 02 May 00 - 10:05 AM Good Lord......And to think I hated to admit that I sang for the bathroom mirror. I am sending the Insanevac Chopper to pick-up all of you for a stay of indeterminate length at the "Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed." Every bathroom there has fine acoustics and a large mirror and none are likely to tip over. The shower room at the end of the west hall on the third floor of the main building will accomodate at least 12 people and if y'all want to take your tiples up there for a group sing, I will notify Skiff and he can have the Docs issue the appropriate passes. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Grab Date: 02 May 00 - 08:24 AM Last time my dad was in a hospital and needed to answer the call of nature, he found that the bog hadn't been bolted onto the floor. So as he sat down, tensed, relaxed and leaned back, it slid sideways and the waste-pipe broke, with a predictable and unpleasant flooding of the toilet. Just glad I wasn't the nurse clearing that up! Incidentally, check out Captain Corelli's Mandolin for references to their opera club, La Scala. Grab. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: JenEllen Date: 02 May 00 - 03:46 AM Bathroom acoustics are great, provided you remember which bathroom you are in..... When I'm not suffering from complete insomnia, I have this drowsy little shuffle I do around the house in the wee hours. And I've been known, in this half-sleep, to sing (and by no means quietly). Not a big deal when you are in the relative safety of your own place, but I took years off my Grandmother's life on the last visit home when I burst into a little Elmore James "Dust My Broom" in the john at 3am.... I'm thinking next trip back I'll build her an outhouse. ~Elle |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mark Cohen Date: 02 May 00 - 03:37 AM My college roommate (and still friend, after all these years) introduced me to Hoffnung. Haven't heard his music since -- I think he probably deserves a thread of his own. I'm sure he was a significant source of much of Peter Schickele's inspiration. (Would you look at that--music discussion! on this thread! will wonders never cease?) I do recall such an instrument, not sure of the name, though. A Yiddish word for "drunk", both noun and adjective, is "shicker," often anglicised ("Yinglish") to "shickered." Now, I'll have to check on the etymology. Most Yiddish words are of German origin, most of the rest are Hebrew, but there are many many borrowed words. Maybe this one came from the Kiwis, who knows? Aloha/aroha Mark |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 02 May 00 - 12:34 AM Mark, I speak "Colloquial Kiwi" with the odd word of Maori thrown in. We've absorbed a lot, from many countries. You've got me stumped on the Yiddish word, unless it's my typo "sepuhrical" - and that doesn't sound right? That is the "Way it really works" - Love IT! To keep on thread - Didn't Gerrard Hoffnung have a "Crapperphone" (or somesuch) in one of his Music Festivals? A toilet bowl (empty), with hosepipe and trumpet mouthpiece attached? Jest wonderin' and wanderin" Sam |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 02 May 00 - 12:20 AM the Colorado dept of highways finally had to quit putting road signs to 'Climax'up in nice painted steel...there were being stolen as fast as they could replace them... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 02 May 00 - 12:10 AM ah Mark, we're really like onions, eh?
Don't know about old Crapper and music, but I had a friend once, who collected toilets. He was particularly fond of one labled "Climax."
Now that I have wandered so far off topic, I think I'd better cease and desist. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mark Cohen Date: 01 May 00 - 11:55 PM Mooh, I guess Gordon Lightfoot wasn't near your place when he was happy being in the lee of Christian Island. Think the air might have been sweeter off to windward. Billy, I am continually amazed and delighted by your language. (whatever it is!) You even had a Yiddish word in there! Do you know which one? Metchosin, do you know what became of the nice sweet woman from Victoria who used to post from your computer? Aloha, Mark (wondering if old Tom Crapper ever wrote any songs) |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 11:48 PM gives a whole new meaning to Trickle Down Economy, don't you think? |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 01 May 00 - 11:46 PM and now, thru the magic of email & digital chicanery sent by Metchosin |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 11:40 PM done |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 01 May 00 - 11:12 PM ok, Metchosin...waiting |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 01 May 00 - 11:10 PM My brother once went with a friend to the guy's family place in rural Georgia...they had an old outhouse, built near the bank of a creek..(downstream, one would hope)... and it had rained heavily the day before and, it seems, washed away the creek bank a bit....my brother was a pretty big guy, and when he got his trousers down and went to sit down, the outhouse began tipping!!.So he stood up, and it was steady again...and he delicately tried to sit again....and it again started to tilt! He finally grabbed some paper, or corn cobs, or catalouge...and used the nearby bushes...I still have images of that in my mind...plus some of what it would have been like if he'd just sat down suddenly and leaned back... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 11:07 PM yup. Thanks |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Bill D Date: 01 May 00 - 10:58 PM ummm...sure, I guess..you mean post it somewhere so it can be linked? extree@erols.com |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 10:52 PM I have an email attachment that is appropriate to this thread, that I could send to someone, so they could make a link here. Please let me know if any one can do this. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 01 May 00 - 10:49 PM Love it Bill D - the catalogue hangin' on the nail by the wall - oh the memories Sam |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ODE TO THE LITTLE BROWN SHACK (Wheeler) From: Bill D Date: 01 May 00 - 10:41 PM funny, I feel a song coming on.....
ODE TO THE LITTLE BROWN SHACK
They passed an ordinance in the town
Copyright Quartet Music, Inc. & Bexhill Music
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 10:19 PM and Spaw if it hasn't been mentioned before, the term "Scat" singing was coined by Cab Calloway I think, and when asked what it meant, he said "shit". |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 10:06 PM Ah..... the powers of methane! I'll have to remember that when I'm up there again year this year! |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 01 May 00 - 09:58 PM L'Neo'n'Metch, Now you've really got me trippin' down memory lane. Yep, I've done the down the septic when the lid broke trick, only to the waist though. At an OEC I was running before I came here, we were Hi-Tech - shredder, submersible pumps (pumping downhill??) and oxidation ponds. The damned shredder would clog religiously, once a month. It took a couple of hours to disassemble, clear, and reassemble. The fishin' pole/gaff trick didn't work, so, strip to waist, and go armpit-deep to clear manually. AND futhermore Spaw, this does have to do with acoustics! The classic clogger was a hearing aid. My mind still boggles. Back in the late 50s I used to work for the City Council during vacations. Ended up doing a few jobs down the sewers. Now, there's real acoustics for ya. Mind you, it gets a bit overpowering when you're driving a "Kanga Hammer" (small, petrol-powered Jackhammer). Metch, your Aunt and the Baroness, remind me of another yarn, which I didn't witness personally, but am sure is true. It was related to me by Cpt Jim Esson, who was there! The Mayor and Mayoress of Wellington came to our Army Camp at Waiouru, to present our Unit with our "Colours". "Lady" Kitts was a real toffee-nose. A two-holer was specially tittivated for the ladies of the party. New paint job, special modesty screens, the lot. Alas, it was close to the Signals tent. They installed a speaker (acoustics) under the seat - waited 'til she went in and gave her time to get en-throned. Then, a sepuhrical voice said "Mind moving to the other side lady. I'm paintin' under this one!". Seems her screech outdid Maria Callas...;) I can vouch for the quality of her voice with another yarn, that is still +/- on thread. About the same time, we had a Science Faculty Ball, at my 'varsity in Wellington. "Lord & Lady" Kitts were guests of honour (he was actually Knighted a few years later). Cpt Jim Esson and self, were seated a couple of tables away, all ponced-up in mufti. Jim had "requisitioned" a few "Thunderflashes" (king-sized firecrackers, used to simulate a hand-grenade). Part-way through proceedings, Jim lit one, put his arm out the window and lobbed it along the wall. The stunned silence following the explosion was only broken by Her Worship the Mayoress screaming "SHIT" at the top of her lungs. Well, I'll wind up with a word of warning for Metchosin, be very, very careful smokin' in the dunny. Especially if it's a hot day at a tramping hut, that hasn't been used in a while. I did, once, in a dunny taht hadn't been built with the Lem Putt principal of primary ventilation. Dropped me strides and daks, lifted the lid, and settled in to contemplate the joys of nature through the open door. Lit me pipe, and dropped the match between my legs. The accoustic weren't too flash, but the flash was - "Singed the King'o'Spains Beard" it did - methane methinks. Now, Spaw, stop screaming about "Dirty Toilet Jokes" - it's al pure musical scatology. Sam |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 05:37 PM Just to assure you there is.....well some..... musical connection to my Rocky Mountain outhouse posting on this thread, the group that I ride with, also used to have Wilf Carter aka Montana Slim ride with it.Click here
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Lady McMoo Date: 01 May 00 - 05:06 PM This sounds like a good idea! Let me get my mandolin. Now what shall I play? ....Perhaps "The Old Resting Chair", "The Wind that Shakes the Barley" and "The Log Cabin"? Peace mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 03:35 PM I have a bit of a reputation for being full of it. Once a year I head up to the Rockies on horseback. There is usually a lineup for the camp biffy in the morning and all were astonished to see great wafts of smoke arising from the contraption when I used it, which brought about commentary regarding the vast heap I must have been depositing, until someone pointed out I was just sitting in it having my morning fag. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mooh Date: 01 May 00 - 03:22 PM Well yes, I do sometimes take a mandolin or a whistle to the loo. A guitar is too big because the toilet's too close to the wall. I recommend a strap on the mandolin for when you need to free your hands. Never tried it that I can remember in the privy we used to have up north behind where my folks now live. Though that privy had a great view of a bay off Georgian Bay if the door was left open, which I normally left open for an early morning constitutional, and as for music there were birds and waves and the movement of the trees. That outhouse was removed a couple of years ago, ten years after we got running water up there. There's something magical about a can in the woods that has to be experienced to be appreciated. Just a hint of that primitive calling we folkies sometimes hear. Peace, and singing in the shower, Mooh.
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 00 - 03:05 PM Completely disgusting. ALL of you.....Nothing but DIRTY TOILET JOKES......Surely the decorum of this forum will suffer at such abuses of incredible vulgarity and impure thought. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED!!!! YES, ASHAMED I SAY!!!! I can't imagine such things coming from people like yourselves. ...........myself on the other hand............................ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 02:55 PM Billy, while we are on three holers, I thought I would recount a few and maybe not make you feel like the only one in deep shit.
When my friend was small, her mother had invited a few ladies over for afternoon tea. Canadians tend to remove their shoes at the door here and when the ladies came to leave, their shoes were nowhere to be found. You guessed it. My friend had hidden all the ladies shoes down the hole in the outhouse.
On another occasion, my old grandfather was having work done on his septic system. At the end of the day, he went out to inspect the work but, unfortunately, due to his failing eyesight and the fact that the workman had not quite finished the work and had left the lid off the tank, he ended up to his armpits, in deep shit and the poor old fellow had to suffer the further indignity of being rescued by neighbours and hosed down with the garden hose by my grandmother.
Still on the subject, I attended the Indian War Canoe Races a few years back at the invitation of a native friend.
I took my Aunt and young cousin, who were very fastidious and found some aspects of the event, a bit of a trial. My Aunt was forced to drink from the bottle that was being passed around lest she affront our hosts (drinking from the same glass, was something she would not have done, even within her own family). When my young cousin started whining that he had to go to the bathroom, one of the children there, took him to the communal outhouse. He came back and told my Aunt, in a very loud voice, "That place really stinks Mom," where upon, the young girl who accompanied him, looked at him incredulously and said with derision, "Off course it stinks, Stupid!...It's full of shit!
And another tale we love to tell here, was recounted to us by our German friend and neighbour, who years ago, was doing construction work on a grand Schloss in Germany.
They were putting the final touches on the place and were running a bit late. One of the bricklayers had a heavy date for the evening and didn't have time to return home to clean up. He decided to use the bath in the Baronesses suite and over the course of the weekend the Baroness got wind of what had ocurred. Indignantly, she demanded that the contractor tear out the bathroom and install a new tub as she wouldn't use her bathroom that had been sullied by a common workman. The contractor grudgingly complied.
A few weeks later the Baroness was out reviewing the grounds with her landscape architect and inadvertantly stepped backwards and fell into a cursorily covered workmans outhouse pit on the property, whereby, from high on the rooftop, a masons voice rang out loud and clear, "Und das shit on top ist bricklayers shit!!!
We have forever after used that phrase to accentuate certain points. And considering what I have just posted, I believe this further goes to prove that Canadians have rightly earned their reputation of being obsessed with this form of bodily function. I read a "Dictionary of Slang" recently, that stated that most slang terms in the English language concerning the word "shit", were of Canadian origin. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Little Neophyte Date: 01 May 00 - 01:54 PM Sammy, I never realized how much you and I have in common. I once was travelling across Canada with my husband Lenny at the time. We stopped off in the middle of nowhere to use the outhouse facilities. While Lenny was doing 'his thing', by accident he DROPS ARE CAR KEYS DOWN THE HOLE! Can you believe it? We had to make a fishing rod and fish the keys out. It was a hot sunny day (need I say more) and poor Lenny, it took him about an hour to find the car keys. Teaches you to carry an extra set of key. I once renovated an outhouse at a campsite while on a canoe trip. It was gorgeous, cobble stone walkway, with a fresh water clam shell beaded door strung on yards and yards of dental floss. I even have the collection of Sherman Hines photgraphs of outhouses from all over the world. So far I have mounted 24 pictures and they are hung up on my bathroom walls. Wall to wall scenic outhouse photography. Had any problems with porcupines? They love to eat resin/glue. So if you built any of your crappers with that kind of stuff you can say so long to your outhouse. Sam I bet you and I could share stories all night long about the wonderful world of outhouses. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 01 May 00 - 12:00 PM Lil Neo, You're talkin' to a dinkum dunny specialist here. I've lived with long-drops, and cans in the s'house for far more years than with flush loos. Can't think how many I built Just got my first flash-flusher in 20 years, when SI finally hit the 20th C and got a sewerage scheme for the village. When I was a kid of 7 or so, we lived in the school house of an unused rural school. We had hmm.. 1x one-bunger for the house 1x one-bung by the school (for the teacher) 2x 4-holers for the kids. I've known up to 20-holers in the Army. In the early 60s, the Botany Department of our University converted a number of buildings at a deserted sawmill village into a Field Centre. Three of us dug a hole (10' deep 16' long) under a chook-house, and built a 6-holer. Well, it didn't actually have "holes" just a rail "fore and aft" - if you sat "cheek-to-cheek", you could squeeze 9-10 into it. We had a reunion of our Biological Society of the 60s last August (most are now boring-old-fart Professors & scientist). They showed an 8mm movie of one of the work parties at Taurewa - alas - the year I'd left to go to teachers college. Talk about a trip down memory lane. Yeah, I remember 'em Lil Neo, not sure how fondly...;) Not sure if I should offend your sensibilities by finishing the yarn (I was reminded of this at the reunion) - I was chuckling over it when I wrote the post above. You probably won't speak to me ever again. Oh, well - I've always lived loose...;) On the last night of that particular work party with a hangi and a monumental piss-up. I got totally shickered, and went to the bog to drop a log. Halfway through, I needed to spit, so turned head down hole, strides round ankles, and went arse over tip down it. I was literally in the poo. Thank God we had only started using the long drop the day before, or I wouldn't be here to tell the tale! Apparently it took the boys a couple of hours to locate, extricate and clean-up my comatose body. Now, there's real mates for you. So, there ya go - and all my lies are true, so help me God....;) LOL - Sammy (not in the Bar) |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Allan C. Date: 01 May 00 - 11:40 AM Some time ago we discussed a few odd venues where the acoustics were especially impressive in a thread I started about Singing In A Dome. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: MMario Date: 01 May 00 - 11:27 AM Bathrooms tend to be okay for acoustics...but for some reason churches seem blessed (no pun intended) with incredible acoustics...it's bizarre how many chapels, etc, I have been in that should have incredibly poor acoustics and yet have been phenomanal. Of course, when a church has bad acoustics, they are usually incredibley bad. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: sophocleese Date: 01 May 00 - 11:23 AM Well I haven't tried the bathroom yet, "Mummy what are you doing?" Crash! door opens into small bathroom and guitar is destroyed. I've just got the kids to the point where I am allowed to be in there alone for regular purposes I daren't attempt innovations. But the stairwell to the upstairs apartment is wonderful to sing and play recorder in. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mbo Date: 01 May 00 - 11:09 AM Right on! You know how Duane Eddy got that awesome reverb on the classic "Rebel Rouser"? He recorded it in a grain silo to get MAXIMUM reverb! Uh-huh! Now I wonder where I can find a grain silo... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Allan C. Date: 01 May 00 - 11:02 AM Another great place can be the garage (if you are blessed enough to have one where you live). I was told that the echo of the garage which was used by Les Paul and Mary Ford for their practice sessions inspired Les. He and a friend contrived to find some way to duplicate that sound electronically. Thus was born the "reverb" knob you find on sound systems today. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: RichM Date: 01 May 00 - 10:57 AM Yep, you can't beat the bathroom for acoustic qualities. I used to sometimes practice at the next door laundromat,before open stage at Rasputin's Cafe in Ottawa. "Lucy's Coin Wash" , with its tiled floor, bare walls and of course, metal washers and dryers, had the same wonderful acoustic properties as a john.... Rich
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mbo Date: 01 May 00 - 10:11 AM It's true Rick! The bathroom in my apartment has AWESOME acoustics! Where do you think I learned vibrato? I picked it up last August singing in the shower--LOUD! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: SINSULL Date: 01 May 00 - 09:49 AM Maybe we can get toilet paper printed up with lyrics and chords and sell it on Mudcat... Sounds like there may be a market for it. Word of warning: Leave the electric guitars in the rumpus room. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Little Neophyte Date: 01 May 00 - 09:41 AM Sammy how about those old two or three seater miner's outhouses. Why you could seat a couple of people beside you and entertain them. Maybe when I feel comfortable taking my Deering Oldtyme banjo with me everywhere, I'll just ask people if I can check out the acoustics in their bathroom. Rick maybe we should start having my lessons in your bathroom. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Billy the Bus Date: 01 May 00 - 06:55 AM Rick, My heart bleeds for you. You have never experienced the acoustics of an outhouse/dunny/longdrop/thunderbox/latrine/whare-iti/etc They are particularly fantastic when you're pissed and have to yodel/chunder/yawn/liquid-laugh/gurgle/spit/etc (ie throw-up) down said orifice in the ground. Actually tin-can dunnys are better (when empty) - they reverberate - when ready for the "night-cart-man" they tend to throw it back in your face, which isn't pleasant...;) Revered Rick, thou' hast much to learn my son. May the blessings of Lem Putt be on thee....;) Any old farts out there recall Lem Putt, in the book "The Specialist" Charles (Chic) Sale, 1920s, on the noble art of building an outhouse? There was also "The Country Plumber" by ????? Anyone got a copy of that? I've lost the one I inherited from DoD. BTW Rick, hope the server serves better next time on HearMe - the few notes today sounded superb! Yours from the long-drop Sam |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Mark Cohen Date: 01 May 00 - 04:25 AM Hate to tell you this, Rick, but if you're using 'Spaw as a reference point to verify your sanity, um... I often wrote songs in the shower, but I seldom took my guitar in there with me. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 May 00 - 02:08 AM Just so you don't think I come up with these hair-brained things by myself ALL the time, this was inspired by: "After watching Arnie Naiman & Chris Coole's incredible performance tonight, I am inspired to practice more, even on the toilet." "Banjo Bonita" Met. Before having the nerve to hang a mandolin in there, I used to stick a pennywhistle in the toothbrush rack. You'd be surprised how many visitors picked it up.(Believe me, you could HEAR it!) Rick |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 01 May 00 - 02:06 AM Aw, the Cat's Paw, what would we do without him? And you too, Rick, 'cause we're all "Just singin' in the loo......" |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 02:02 AM I've heard of these mandolin hooks...... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 01:59 AM This thread has given him a very good idea of what to do for the Kay archtop.....mosaic tile.... and a 1928 bathroom tone is assured. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 May 00 - 01:58 AM Well, since Mudcat always seems to bring out the bare truth in some of us....I have a hook next to the toilet to hang a mandolin on. Note. This is not the "Family" bathroom where Heather spends hours brushing her teeth, but my little cubbyhole in the basement next to the music room. Catspaw, do you smoke after playing the guitar? Ya know folks without Catspaw around here, as some kind of bizzare reference point, I'd be constantly doubting my own sanity. Rick |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 01:55 AM Although he says he hasn't looked at himself playing in the mirror since youth fled and fifty pounds arrived miracuously. He concentrates and watches his weakest hand for a given passage, until his strengths are balanced (or weaknesses) and then refuses to look at either hand and just listen. It tells you very quickly what is unnecessary. A great players tip, if you play something dead wrong, play it again two more times with great conviction and people will mearly think you are pushing the envelope (as an artiste). |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 01 May 00 - 01:53 AM Actually, read on another forum that the high humidity in the loo is very good for wood instruments. Some people apparently put their instruments on the counter while showering to re condition them. (Mine has no tile, just contact paper......) To each his own....... |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 00 - 01:46 AM "Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this, But I think I sing better, while taking a piss. My picking is better, I think I'd be a hit, If I'd record my next album, while having a shit." ...I'd say "With apologies to John Prine," but he's a scatalogical SOB himself and would probably like it. I'm glad to hear someone else, especially of your caliber Rick, does this. Its by far my favorite place to play.....same thing, standing in front of the mirror. I know Alice learns her songs in the shower, but I never wanted to admit that I actually took my guitar into the bathroom purposefully to play in front of the mirror. I dunno' what it is with the aciustics, but the mirror is somehow important too. Maybe its like smoking in the dark.....never as satisfying if you can't see the smoke. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 01:41 AM Oh yeah and after thirty-six years, he still hasn't learned any song to the bitter end yet. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 01 May 00 - 01:39 AM Awww you party POOPER! See my local Arts Council!! They paid for Scartaglen, once!! (and there were maybe 50 people in the audience) |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Metchosin Date: 01 May 00 - 01:38 AM Rick, my husband plays in the bathroom all the time and his performances aren't carnal either. He says there is a lot to be said for tile and there is limited likelihood of a bunch of wankers coming in to listen to him while he practices. He doesn't think your sick, you just have to remember not to drop your pants when you sit down to perform in public. For good or ill small cubicles in public washrooms have caused a lot of guitar players to convert to mandolin. |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Callie Date: 01 May 00 - 01:38 AM AT the National Folk Festival held in Canberra every year at Easter time, there are 2 'best' places to sing: the session room stairwell and the session room toilets. The disabled loos are particularly good because you can cram close to 20 people in there. The acoustics are heavenly, and it's quiet and away from the fiddle players. Problem is, there's only one seat in there. --Callie |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 May 00 - 01:36 AM Maybe so Sorcha, but the air-fare would be a killer! Rick |
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Subject: RE: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Sorcha Date: 01 May 00 - 01:32 AM (Sick puppy, Rick sick, but my kitchen is actually better!) |
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Subject: Toilet tunes,Loo Lullabies,&Potty Pickin From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 May 00 - 01:22 AM The acoustic properties of the bathroom are well known, (being a city boy I don't know about outhouses) and I spent literally hundreds of hours before the mirror singing and pickin' Leadbelly tunes when I was 16. My Mother never had any need to scream "What are you doin' in there??!!" 'cause the natural resonance poured out into the rest of the house as well, so it was obvious my passions were NOT carnal. A few years ago we stuck a mike in the loo of Radio CIUT and did a whole show with Yukon songwriter Fred Robertson. Even today when I listen to that tape, the sound is amazing! I often still practice in front of a mirror, although I'm hardly what anyone would call an "animated performer". If our bathroom was bigger here, I'd probably be back inside. You just can't beat them 'acoustics"! Dear Abby, am I a sick puppy? Rick |
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