Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000

Subject: RE: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:12 AM

That's great wisdom for any era, but remarkable for that to be written in 1854, an age when children were often looked on in many ways as little adults.

Subject: RE: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: Biskit
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 02:05 PM

X's&O's, -Biskit-

Subject: RE: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 01:57 PM

Midchuck, MY today Dave Barry column was about the Human Genome project...

Also, we have always taken our children to restaurants, and always insisted they behave. They are not to run around, use loud voices, whang with silverware, demand things of the waitstaff, or in any other way be rude or annoying to other patrons. We have had to leave a restaurant for failure to obey these rules exactly once. As a result, they are takable to restaurants, aren't loud, ask for things with please, receive them with thank you, and sit in their seats till the adults are finished. They are now 5, but we insisted on civilized behavior from the start (we also started in kid-friendly restaurants, as a result of which we aren't limited to them now). It isn't thoughtless to TAKE kids to restaurants. It's thoughtless not to expect, and demand, civilized behavior of those children.
We have actually had people come up to us after their meal, exclaiming how surprising it is that our children behave. We instantly squash such admiration, as we consider it (the behavior, not the admiration) normal, with things like Yes, they are well-behaved, aren't they, said in a kind of bored voice. However, we have also had people bothered by the FACT that we had children with us, despite the near-perfect behavior of those children. I consider people like that to be bigots, since they base their annoyance not on actual behavior, but on expectations stemming from, well, bigotry. And there is nothing I can do for people like that other than to keep bringing my kids to restaurants and other public places, and keep demonstrating that it is possible to have manners and be juvenile at the same time.

Midchuck, Im not saying you're a bigot. I'm saying you probably haven't met kids whose parents taught them manners.

Subject: RE: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: Midchuck
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 10:42 AM

You should catch Dave Barry's column for today. About taking babies to restaurants. Which verges on being the ultimate in human thoughtlessness, unless it's necessary, like in the course of travel.

Peter.

Subject: RE: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: Allan C.
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 10:00 AM

I have seen so very many parents who try to fit children into some sort of mold - especially with regard to discipline. I have come to realize that this can be an erronious method of dealing with them.

Some kids readily respond to a brief scolding. That's enough. That gets the message across and they rarely need to be reminded of it again. There are others who require a bit more. (Yes, I paddled a few fannies when my kids were very young). I have also seen some children who, at a moment when I might have reacted quite differently, were treated to laughter and hugs instead. This last is (to me) surprisingly effective in some instances.

Subject: Thoguht for the day - July 30, 2000
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 11:53 PM

I've been delving into old books this week, harvesting old songs for the DT. One such tome, faded and warped from water damage, thus 25 cents in a library sale, is the Christian Parlor Book: devoted to Science, Literature, and Religion, published in 1854 by James H. Pratt & Co.

I thought you all might enjoy the following excerpt:

What Will Ruin Children

"To have parents exercise partiality. This practice is lamentably prevalent. The first born or last, the only son or daughter, the beauty or wit of the household, is too commonly set apart - Joseph-like.

"To be frequently put out of temper. A child ought to be spared, as far as possible, all just causes of irritation; and never to be punished for wrong doing by taunts, cuffs, or ridicule.

"To be corrected for accidental faults with as much severity as though they were done intentionally.-

"The child who does ill when he meant to do well merits pity, not upbraiding. The disappointment of the young porjector, attendant on the disastrous failure of any little enterprise, is of itself sufficient punishment, even where the result was brought about by carelessness. To add more is as cruel as it is hurtful.

"Parents who give a child to understand that he is a burden to them, need to not be surprised should they one day be given to understand that they are burdensome to him."