Lyr Req: Antony Clare

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 16 Apr 26 - 08:54 PM

This song is also called "Anthony Claire", "Alistair Clair", "For They
Were Large Balls".

Oscar Brand sings a variant titled "Parties, Banquets and Balls" on the
LP Sing-Along Bawdy Songs & Backroom Ballads.

Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aJO2t66EV8&t=1268s


Variants of the song are also found in following Balls as Heavy as Lead thread.

See here: https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=30317


The song may be derived from "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Coconuts".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 26 - 08:01 PM

I learned a clean version of it, where the word balls was replaced with boots. Here it is as taught to me by Peter Mullins, basketball star at the university of British Columbia. About 1955.

Now there was a man named Anthony Claire
And he was famous everywhere
As a conjurer, a man of repute
Because he could play with his boots.

Chorus:
For they were large boots, large boots
Boots as heavy as lead
With a circular twist of his muscular wrist
He could swing them right over his head
Tiddy pum pum pum (2x)

As he was swinging them round and round
A- one came down with the deuce of a bound
On the hairy head of his faithful hound
Who was watching him play with his boots!

They took him to the magistrate
And placed him in a cell of state
And there he was able to cogitate
And play with his wonderful boots!

The trial was held for straight away
In fact, it was held the very next day
The magistrate was heard to say
“ why shouldn’t he play with his boots?”

Now Anthony Clair has gone to his rest
As a swinger of boots, he was the best.
He swung with a zoom he swung with a zest
That pair of wonderful boots.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 May 12 - 11:29 AM

Lighter-

Someday soon I promise to make a recording of how Dennis used to sing it.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: GUEST,LIghter
Date: 13 May 12 - 09:51 AM

And the tune goes how?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: GUEST,toggernut
Date: 13 May 12 - 09:13 AM

As I heard it in 1955.

Anthony Clare was a conjuror
Quite a bit of a conjuror
Always doing his favourite trick
Of turning and twisting his balls around

For he had large balls,big balls
Balls as heavy as lead
With a dextrous flick of his muscular wrist
He could turn them right over his head
   
Ra,ra,ra,ra
ra,ra,ra,ra

As he was walking down the street
Pretty Miss Jones he chanced to meet
With her faithful hound at her feet
A-twisting and turning its balls around

Ra, etc

As he was turning his balls around
Down they fell with a hell of a bound
Right on top top of the faithful hound
That was turning and twisting its balls around

Ra, etc

Little Miss Jones was quite distraught
She said she'd take the matter to court
For in her opinion nobody ought
To be turning and twisting their balls around

Ra, etc

Anthony Clare stood in the dock
And gave the court a hell of a shock
By insisting on showing the jury his cock
And turning and twisting his balls around

Ra, etc

The judge said "The case is clear,
The fine will be one barrel of beer
For any bugger that comes in here
And turning and twisting his balls around!"

Ra, etc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 05:12 PM

Refresh for any more comment. If you haven't heard this song sung, you've missed a corker!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 05:24 PM

SA – never heard that verse but thank you in turn. If you search the Digital Tradition database you may find another version of the song. I know if you do a "thread search" you'll find some former discussion and some alternative verses but I'm very partial to Dennis' verses; I can still hear him roaring them out. ;-)

This song is fairly rare, and I'm not sure who was originally responsible for it, probably someone in the 1920's or 1930's.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Antony Clare
From: SlowAlan
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 09:41 AM

Why thank you, actually as I read your words, the song came flooding back to my whisky shrivelled tinkerbox.

You have forgotten the verse..

"The lady cried Oh My my my
You have hit my poor doggie right in the eye
youve made him sob and shriek and cry
with your horrible bouncing balls"

Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: ANTHONY CLAIRE
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 09:34 AM

I posted this recently but I never seem to be able to find what I posted so let's run it again, at least the version I learned; I recently forwarded this song to a duo in Texas appropriately called the "Tudor Tarts.":

After the singing of Dennis Puleston of Brookhaven, Long Island, NY, in the 1950's.

ANTHONY CLAIRE

G---------------------------------------
There once was a man named Antony Claire
----Em----------------------G
And he was known most every-where,
G---------------------------
Oh, he was a famous conjuror,
----------------------------D7
And he liked to play with his balls –

Chorus:

D7-----------G
For they were large balls,
D---------------G
Balls as heavy as lead,
G
With a hell of a twist of his muscular wrist,
----------------------------D7
He'd sling 'em right over his head!
--------------G
For they were large balls,
D7--------------G
Balls as heavy as lead!

As Anthony Claire walked down the street,
A pretty girl he chanced to meet,
And she was given the wondrous treat
Of watching him play with his balls.(CHO)

As he was slinging 'em round and round,
One came down with a bloody great bound,
Right on the head of his faithful hound
Who was watching him play with his balls. (CHO)

To the magistrate he was taken away,
And his case came up the very next day,
But the magistrate could not say
Why he should not play with his balls.(CHO)

Now Anthony Claire has gone to rest,
And may his soul forever be blessed,
Of all good fellows, he was the best,
And he liked to play with his balls.(CHO)

Subject: Antony Clare
From: SlowAlan
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 09:20 AM

Can anyone recall the lyrics for a WW2 song, called Anthony Clare.

All I recall is "There was a man called Antony Clare
Whose name was famous everywhere
Famous through all the Music Halls
As the man who could play with his balls...

For they were large balls, large balls
Balls as Heavy as Lead
With a cirtcular twist of his muscular wrist
He could swing them right over his head
tiddly om pom pom, tiddley om pom pom"

It has a great tune, and a good song to hum while talking to an politician or some other pompous arse (upon whom everyone has sat except a man).