Paddy's Day,Clinton dinnae read.ljc

Subject: RE: Paddy's Day,Clinton dinnae read.ljc
From: GUEST,Paddy Plastique Chez Lui
Date: 27 Mar 02 - 04:06 PM

Which Clinton isnae supposed to read it ? The wan wi' the electric organ or the wan wi' the big cigar ?

Subject: Paddy's Day,Clinton dinnae read.ljc
From: little john cameron
Date: 27 Mar 02 - 03:39 PM

Ah know it's ower noo bit here's a report oan the shenanigans in oor wee toon.This is fae mah ain site.

The next day efter we bailed big Jim oot o' the slammer aw' hands assembled at the pub fur the big do.Jim wiz sat in the corner an' wiz doon in the mooth because o' the traumatic experience he hud wi' the carry oot bag.Sneck tried buyin' him a few drinks but he jist sat there mopin'.It's best jist tae leave him alane when he gets like that as he's liable tae bob ye ane.

The young lassies fae the Fogo Island accordian band arrived an' set up their stuff an' as soon ad they struck the furst note Chink wiz on the flair dae'in hiz ghurka dance?This time Sneck wiz ready fur him an' hid laid twa' long tables on there side so he widnae coup ower the drinks at the ither tables.

Watchin' the young lassies on the stage made me wish ah wiz aboot 30yrs younger.They maistly sang Irish an Newfoundland music but they brocht tears tae mah ee'en wi' MA GRANNIES HIELAN' HAME an SADLY I WANDER THROUGH SCENES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

The green beer wiz gaun' doon fine but ah only drink Guinness an' some idjit pit it in mah beer.It nearly turned mah stummick tae look at it!It reminded me o' yon ink that wiz in the inkwells at school,but ah drank it oneyhow as ye canny let good Guinness gae tae waste. Then it aw' went quiet as in came the bikers!! They made staight fur big Jims table in the corner an' ah thocht oh! oh! here we go?
They hud a big box wi' them an' planked it doon beside him.Ah hope it's no tickin' ah thocht tae masel'. There wiz the usual pushin' an' shovin' an' punchin' on the airm that they day tae welcome ane anither.Then big Jim stertit tae open the box! Auld Jack the plumber took aff through the door sayin' somethin' aboot leavin' the fryin; pan on the stove.Jim pits his hauns in the box, ye could cut the atmosphere wi' a knife, an' pulls oot a CRASH HELMET!!
A Paddys Day present tae Jim so he disnae bang hiz heid oney mair. Big Jim pits it on an' looks as pleased as punch an' wullnae take it aff. So a'body has a great laugh an' the festivities stert up again.By this time a'body is beginnin' tae sweat bug juice so the claes stert comin' aff.
Some o' men are doon tae there semmits an' the weemen are dabbin' their oxters wi' there hankies.
Noo it's time fur the lassies tae tak' a brek an' somebody shouts fur oor local star turn,Andy Kelly,tae get up an' dae a turn.Noo Andys speciallity is Elvis Presley,but he's gettin' ower large fur it noo an' tends tae sweat a lot due tae his size, but he carries on undaunted an' lings richt intae Hound Dug follied by Jailhoose Rock.As ah said afore,we're aw' used tae him an' are ready fur his big bow at the end,so when he wheechs doon an' ficks his hair a'body pits their hauns ower their pints as big globs o' sweat come flee'in across the room!!The room breks oot in whistles an' hoots as he he leaves the stage,victorious again. PAIRT TWA' THE MORRA!!!