Satire: Fairy Tales for Today

Subject: RE: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Dec 02 - 08:41 PM

Bugger? Must have been a British folksinger...

Subject: RE: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Dec 02 - 06:18 PM

The way I heard it was...

   Once upon a not-too-long-ago, in a land-not-so-far-away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured and athletic young woman met up with her own talking frog as she was contemplating her lost golf ball in the water hazard she was sure she could have cleared from the tee.
   This bold new amphibian cleared his froggy throat and spoke up from the water's edge: "Hey, baby! Look down here! Yeah, me!"
   The golfer lady peered down in surprise at the little green froggy talking to her so familiarly: "Do I know you, Kermit?"
   "You probably do, baby. Yeah. See, I was once a famous folk singer. I wrote a lot of songs and made a lot of money and had famous friends and a movie career and had the whole success thing happening pretty well, y'know? But then I wrote and recorded a song that pissed off The Man, y'know, the Powers-That-Be... The Masters of War, y'know? Anyway, they got a lot of their blood money together, man and hired some wizard to turn me into a frog. Now I sit in this little puddle eatin' bugs on some fat cat golf course."
   The young lady cocked an eyebrow: "Really? That's quite a tale of woe."
   The frog nodded his froggy head in agreement: "Oh yeah, tell me about it... But here's the best part... I swear, if I was to get just one little kiss from a beautiful babe like yourself, I'd turn back into my own form and be the songwriting genius I was before. Rolling Stone™ called me a national treasure."
   The young lady cocked her other eyebrow: "Really? That's simply wonderful."
   "Yeah," smiled the folky froggy. "Just lay a little sugar on me and I'll be myself again. Then I'll write you a love song that's sure to be another big hit for me and we can split the profits. Hell, we can do an album called Green on Blonde and I can make you rich, baby ! Whaddaya say?"
   The young woman knelt down and laid her hand open on the ground. The transmogrified folksinger froggy hopped into it happily and puckered up as she raised him to her beautiful face.
   "Sorry," winked the woman. "It ain't me, babe."
   And she started to tuck the complaining frog into the front pouch of her golf bag.
   "Hey, whatsamatter with you? Don't do me like that! I said I could make you rich! I'm a famous folksinger!!!" squeaked the frog.
   "Yeah, whatever," shrugged the woman as she zipped the pouch shut. "But how much you want to bet that a talking frog's worth more than a famous folksinger?"
   "Aw bugger!..." came the frog's muffled voice.

Subject: RE: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: Hrothgar
Date: 08 Jul 02 - 07:10 AM

No wonder McKittery ran for his life, Alison!

Or swam for it, anyway.

Subject: RE: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: Tig
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 01:15 PM

Have you seen a copy of Politically Correct Bedtime Stories and Politically Correct Holiday Stories. Both are brilliant. I particularly like the idea of the Pied Piper being brought in to clear the folkies off the caravan site!

Subject: RE: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: alison
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:20 AM

oh yessssssssssssssssssss!!!!! the perfect opertunity to bring this one up again..... language cleaned up for the kiddies!!

The Frog and the Princess


        Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess met up with a frog as she sat contemplating ecological
issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
        A frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a
handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from
you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I
truly am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping
in your castle with my mother living with us and you can prepare my meals, clean
clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
        That night as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly
sauteed froglegs seasoned in whitewine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled
to herself and thought:........I don't @%&$#@$ think so..

slainte

alison

Subject: Satire: Fairy Tales for Today
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Jul 02 - 04:11 AM

I made these up for a joke on another forum. Then I realized that some people here might enjoy them. Does anyone have their own Fairy Tales to contribute? All you need is a Fairy Tale premise, A moral and something to poke fun of.

Jack the Capo and the beanstalk of influence.

The Goodfella trades his Cadillac for magic beans but when the bean vending gypsy discovers a labour leader in the trunk, mirth and mayhem break loose.

The magic beanstalk does not grow very high, but it's tendrils spread throughout the city. Union halls, gambling establishments and pasta restaurants.

The longest tendril reaches Las Vegas, where Jack the Capo discovers "The magic gaming commissioner" who, in turn for laying the golden blond, gives away casino licences left and right. Also in this magical land is the worlds most expensive singing harp, Sinatra, who happens to owe the mob a favour.

Alas all is not well. The great ugly giant named corporation, smells the lifeblood of Las Vegas, money, and because he can afford to buy State and local governments, poor little Jack the capo is thrown out of the magical land. He is now retired in Palm Springs and the beanstalk has been declared a shareholder asset.

The Emperor's New Profit Statement.

Stay tuned for next week's installment. The Emperor's New Profit Statement. Enron and Worlcom, trusted friends to Bushy, the Squirrel in chief, Dress themselves up in profit statements. Everyone sees these profits and believes them to be real because wise old Anderson, a trusted member of the Sorceror's guild has vouched for them.

Imagine the mirth and mayhem as executives get fat while peasants are tossed into the street! While Bushy promises to shut the barn door once all of his sacred cows have safely escaped.