Lyr Add: Cookie Cook-Cooke

Subject: Lyr Add: Cookie Cook-Cooke
From: GUEST,Saul T. Dawg
Date: 29 Jun 26 - 03:01 PM

A cautionary tale for sailors about the health hazards of good-time girls on shore, it harkens back to the many centuries when STD’s were (mis)treated with mercury ointments and pills. A 16th Century saying: One night with Venus risks a lifetime with Mercury.

For one tune, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu078wMIIoI

Come lend me your ears and you shall soon hear
        A sad tale if you sit for a spell
It may spare you much pain, and shame on your name
        And keep you from going to hell

Our county’s log book shows that John Henry Cook
       By fate wed Miss Olivia Cooke
With pretentions of class, they named their first lass
        Venus de Milo Cook-Cooke
Young Venus was blessed with skills that impressed
        At whatever she tried, she’d succeed
She could cook, she could clean, even fix a machine
        So it seemed that no man did she need

But she fancied most sailors, even the whalers
        Once cleaned up and out on the town
When she was of age, she was earning a wage
        In a pub down in old Sailor town
Had a job in the kitchen. Would readily pitch in
        to do whatever it took
And those in the pub, quite fancied her grub
        They nick-named her “Cookie Cooke-Cook”

If you’ve had too much grog and fancy a snog
        And think that you might be still able
Ignore the advances and flirtatious glances
        Of those serving your table
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook

She shared her lips with the men from the ships
        After work when the lamps were turned low
Scuttlebutt said she was a wonder in bed
        And that she held some secrets below
She was a treat and was oh so sweet
        Said those who her pleasures partook
Soon her name and her fame had our passions aflame
       As we thought of Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook

The mature did demure. Said: “You know she’s not pure”
        You’re damned sure to pay for your sport.”
But the young did aspire. Still wanted to try her
        And longed to sail into her port        
Once there, they entangled in a manner new-fangled
        In that fire sparked by a kiss
Both changed position before intermission
        To enhance their conjugal bliss

If you’ve had too much grog and fancy a snog
        And think that you might be still able
Ignore the advances and flirtatious glances
        Of those serving your table
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook

When shore leave was done and they’d had their fun
        They were broke but grinned ear to ear
But that crew once so jolly, became melancholy
        When fire below gave them fear
When the pox did appear, its location made clear
        Who and what was to blame
When the sores didn’t heal, the stench made them keel
        And the nights brought on fevers and pain

Well, that ship disappeared for nearly two years
        Before returning to home port and hills
Her sails were in tatters, her crew mad as hatters
        From their mercury ointments and pills
Some left in hearses, while the others dispersed
        Disfigured and scarred to their shame
To be seen no more but along all this shore
        They still remember her name
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook
Remember Sweet Cookie Cooke-Cook

Coda, slowing down:
Cookie found a cure with the Sisters still pure
        At the Convent Maison Chatelaine
But the wages of sin showed all over her skin
        To the Sisters she was simply “Plain Jane”
She joined their ways and for the rest of her days
Nursed the sick and the sore wracked with pains
Gave comfort and care to those in despair
        At the Hospice now known as St. Jane’s !

        (Not to confused with St. James Infirmary)