Lyr Add: State-Struck Keelman

Subject: Lyr Add: State-Struck Keelman
From: *#1 PEASANT*
Date: 20 Jun 04 - 12:01 PM

Stage-Struck Keelman

Tune-"Bob and Joan."

Aw's Jimmy Julius Hannibal Ceasar,
A genius born for shootin';
Aw can recite Hamlick and King Dick,
Man, aw's the lad for spootin'.

Spoken- Besides, aw's an awther. Aw wrote a play entitled "The Flash o' Thuynder; or, The Desolate Tree by the Roadside, an' the Lonely Man o' the Lonely Mill o' the Blasted Heath, an' the Flower-eyed Murderer." It's in fowerteen acts and a half. The music's a' 'ranged by Frederick Jimmy Apollow Lumphead for nine gugaws. Aw'll recite a dark passage oot on't, as a specimine.

Scene 1st.-A Coal Pit- Blue Mountains in the distance (we'll say the mountains is in America).
'Twas a dark neet- a very dark neet; the sun peeped oot before the skies; the wind fell in fearful torrents; the cloods fell te the arth; and the cuddies turned thor backs on the comin' storm, an' wi' thor melodious noise gov a tarrific he ha! he ha! he ha! 'Twas then aw porsued maw way bi the Blasted Heath-medytatin', codgetatin', and silly quisin', when sumthing seized me- a caud swet com ower me sleeved waistket. Aw fell doon insensible; an' when aw recuvered, aw observed the Fower-eyed Murderer gazin' upon me. Aw seized him an' cast him forth inte the boilin' het caud watter. At that excitin' moment aw flew towards the Aud Abbey. Hush! what was that? Hark! I see a voice! No, no, 'tis the wind whistlin' the air! In this tent I'll pitch my field! O let me behold the green fields o' Sandgate-the blue mountains of Gyetshead and Jarrow- the Tripe Market, where youthful fancy guided maw three-happence a week pocket-brass! Egstacy! A shooer o' black puddins thickens maw imaginashun! Light lights! Richard's himeslf agyen!

For I'm Jimmy, etc.

Play-actin's maw delight,
Aw's called the Sandgate Spooter;
Besides, the plays aw write
Myeks me an oot-an'ooter.
Love scenes, an' murders tee,
Aw acts them up te nature;
The chaps upon the Kee says
Aw'll turn a real first-rater.

Spoken- Yes aw've anuther play entitled "The Two Thick-headed Bruthers; or the Life and Adventures of Three Fardins' Worth o' Backey; or, the Keel Bully's Ghost." Thor's a' kinds o' characters in't: aw've ghosts blue fire, reed fire, scufters, doddle hunters, organ weavers, cuiks, an' fower comic cheps. Her's a speech a bobby myeks te one o' the cuiks:-"Celestial, beautiful, divine creature! star of my fancy ! staff of my existence! lantern of my hope! let me stand up and adore thee for ever on my knees! Oh, ye crabs and fishes! let me spout me blues! Let me gaze upon thee! O horrible agony! Thy lovely features-that turnip nose-them saucer eyes-thy red luxuriant hair-that figure-thy quarter's wages-let me clutch thee!" Make way there! 'tis the king who calls!

For I'm Jimmy, etc.

My talent will be seen'
When actin' aw begin, sir;
For aw'll play before the Queen'
Wi' Charles Kean at Windsor;
Aw's sure te cut him oot,
He'll heh ne chance wi' me, sir,
For when she heers me spoot,
Thor's nyen like me will please her.

Spoken- Aw just hink she sees me in that scene in Hamlick, where the ghost cums-"Angels an' ministers of grease confend us! Be thoiu sum sporits of earth or cobbler damned; bring ye hares frae Ravensworth for me or thee to sell; thou comest in scuh a drunken state, aw'll toss thee for a pint o' fowerpenny! He's waggin' on me; he wants te play at skittles at the Crystal Palace!
Gan on-aw'll follow thee."

For I'm Jimmy, etc.

Corvan