BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)

Subject: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Jul 01 - 10:44 PM

Now generally, I'm one to refresh old threads, but in this case, it would be a lot more fun to start fresh since we have so many new folks and this was a long time back. Peter T. started the other thread with this info from another website.

Read, Enjoy, AND ADD WHAT YOU CAN!!!!!!!

HOW TO CREATE A FOLKSONG

1. All folksongs begin with the phrase: "I asked my love to take a walk"

2. The walk should be:

a. Down by the riverside
b. Past the prison
c. Into the valley
d. Over the sea and far away.

It should not be:

a. To the store for a loaf of bread
b. To Wallmart
c. Along the Champs-Elysee, Park Avenue, or Pennsylvania Avenue
d. On rollerblades.

3. The conversation along the way should be about:

a. Your racehorse
b. The perfidious British
c. The revelation that you are her/his longlost brother/husband/blacksmith/Lord
d. The inevitable baby
e. Murder

4. Places to be mentioned include:

a. Botany Bay
b. The Mountains of ————
c. A Land called Honalee
d. Carrickfergus
e. The valley
f. The fair
g. All of the above in reverse order, Botany Bay always coming last.

5. All folk songs repeat the same words in each verse, but move them around until one person is killed or the ghost appears. If the ghost appears, it repeats the original verses and the process begins all over again. This is known as revenge.

6. The chorus of all folk songs is half of the words of the verse moved around some more, and with the addition of some poignant nonsense syllables, all in a minor key. No new information is provided.

7. References to work in folk songs should include:

a. Hammers (visionary or steam)
b. Railroad trains, preferably on the same track hurtling towards each other
c. Lots of whales
d. Sowing, reaping, harvesting, babies dropped in furrows, etc.

8. Job categories allowed in folk songs include:

a. Circus work
b. Lighthouse keeping
c. Mourning
d. Gypsying (especially kidnapping)
e. Blowing up British buildings.

9. References to work in folk songs should avoid the following job categories:

a. Insurance
b. Work for any government agency except prisons
c. Re-insurance
d. Insurance

10. Words that can be sprinkled at random over folk songs:

gather, farewell, thee, dead, twa, alas, true love, bonnie, dagger, do Lord.

and so on.... Any additions? C'mon now....See if the new folks can be as good as the older group!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 12:39 AM

11. Folks songs never narrate events in normal weather. The weather is always: a. A fair and pleasant day b. A May morning c. A dark and stormy night, a storm and gale, at night while trimming of the glim. d. A mighty day

12. Death is frequently mentioned in folk songs. It is never caused by: a. cirrhosis of the liver b. Hodgkin's lymphoma c. Multiple sclerosis d. high-altitude sickness

13. Death in folk songs is caused by:

a. A broken heart b. Being slain c. Drownding in the deep blue sea d. Being hanged e. Sorrow f. Being poisoned by your love g. Being stabbed to the heart by your love

14. When folk songs are not about death they are often about love or food. Acceptable foodstuffs to be mentioned include:

a. Any form of alcoholic beverage except a wine spritzer b. Chitlins or anything that sounds like it might really be chitlins c. Cabbage d. Bread, country pie, and some kinds of cookies e. Moonshine, Scotch, Irish, Bourbon, White Lightnin', Mountain Dew, or jar whiskey f. Eggs and marrow bone g. Eels and eels' broth

15. Food types which should not be mentioned in folk songs include:

a. Boeuf Bourguignonne b. Hot Rocks c. Radishes carved to look like valentines d. Sandwiches carved to look like radishes e. Chateaubriand a deux f. Coq au vin g. Canard aux oranges h. Sauerbraten

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: Mudlark
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 12:57 AM

Additions to foods to be avoided...liver and onions, sweetbreads, rutabagas.

15. In need of some traditional flavor? Comb the dictionary for weird Scottish words. Throw in My Only Jo and deario as a refrain.

16 References to birds are helpful...phrases like fly away, on the wing, etc. lend airy romance.

17. Animals are always endearing in folk songs, especially hound dogs, farm animals and cats that come back. Best to leave the more exotic species like dugongs and Tasmanian Devils to nature programs, unless going for humor.

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 01:55 AM

This will be fun, Spaw. I had to go back to the OLD THREAD to see what I'd posted. Don't want to get redundant!**BG**

There is a real gem of an Art Thieme in that one, as well as others.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: alison
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 01:56 AM

18. first line must contain a time or month (preferrably both!!) before "I asked my love to take a walk"
ie... one morning in May / June etc

19. the "hero" needs to have really bad eyesight so he can mistake his love for an animal (usually a swan) thereby providing himself with a damn good excuse for why he kills her.....

20. the "heroine" must be none too bright to not recognise the fella who has been away for 7 years, and returns to try to convince her that he is in fact dead!!!

21. the "heroine" must also be thick as 3 short planks because she stills takes him back after he giggles and says "fooled you!!" instead of kicking him in the balls and sueing him for psychological damages...

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: Roughyed
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 04:23 AM

As Les Barker pointed out, judges looking over their left shoulders are always a bad sign.

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 21 Jul 01 - 04:25 AM

A folk song is always in 4/4. Or maybe 6/8. Unless it was collected by A.L. Lloyd, in which case it's in 5/4 alternating with 7/4. If a song is in 3/4, it is not a folk song--it's a march that's been folk processed.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Jul 01 - 01:02 PM

Tunes for folk songs can be stolen from any appropriate source. These include:

A) Any tune used for any Child's song.
B) Anything previously thought to be a folk song.
C) All tunes stolen by Woody regardless of how many times he used them.

Tunes NOT appropriate include:

A) Any self-written and contrived sounding ditties lacking anything resembling a melody.
B) Sousa Marches, even as parodies.
C) "Stairway to Heaven"
D) Anything ever done by "Big Brother and the Holding Company."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 01 - 09:22 AM

Folks songs are not written from ordinary perspectives even when they claim to be. The writer always, overtly or not, conceives of him/her self as:

a. Poor and wayfaring
b. A rambler
c. A stranger
d. A back-door person
e. A moonshiner
f. Poor and sitting somewhere
g. Poor and going somewhere else
h. Poor and abused
i. Poor but fortunate. (rare)

Folksongs do not portray the narrator as:

a. Aspiring to popular election
b. Saving up for a trip to Europe
c. Doing market research
d. Puzzled by excess wealth
e. Confidently planning to get a patent.

If you are confidently planning anything you should probably not write a folksong about it, unless it is dying.

Subject: RE: BS: How To Create a Folk Song (II)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jul 01 - 02:12 AM

refresh