Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)

Subject: Mike Mann 'Far Canal'
From:
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 12:24 PM

In the mid 80s, there was a singer/pianist called Mike Mann appearing in British folk clubs. He had a self-penned song called 'The Far Canal' and another very funny one about the Wimbledon tennis championships.

Has anyone got the words for either?

Subject: RE: Mike Mann 'Far Canal'
From: Sorcha
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 02:56 PM

No luck with Google. Sorry

Subject: RE: Mike Mann 'Far Canal'
From: GUEST,Henry Ayrton
Date: 31 Mar 03 - 03:13 PM

I have a very lo-fi tape recording I made of Mike Mann (with his permission) when he was appearing at Knaresborough Folk Club in 1981. It includes "The Far Canal Song". When I've a moment, I'll listen to it and see if I can transcribe the words. Can't remember him doing a tennis song, though.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: Mike Bye
Date: 29 May 16 - 08:33 PM

I heard this only once but recollect that the following could be as near as Dammit - any knowledgeable corrections gratefully accepted.

RC (at piano): "I'm sad to say I've left my Love in Venice".
RB (not at piano): "...in Venice".
RC: "For a handsome Latin Romeo she fell".
RB: " ...Oh She Fell".
RC: "Now the fickle Bounder's been and gone and left her".
RB: "...and left her".
RC: "Now she languishes beside that Far Canal!".
RB: ".............................................What a Pity!"

Subject: Lyr Req: FAR CANAL (Chris Wright)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jun 16 - 12:39 AM

A different song than was wanted, I suppose, but I enjoyed it:

The joke here is that "far canal," spoken in the right accent, sounds like "fuckin' hell."

My transcription from YouTube:


FAR CANAL
Written by Chris Wright
As recorded by Patchwork

1. Johann was a young man livin' by the Zuiderzee
In the land of bicycles and tulips, cods(?) and Edam cheese.
Oh, he lived afloat in a little boat upon the near canal,
And his true love she lived far away upon the far canal.*

CHORUS: Far canal (far canal), far canal (far canal),
Oh, his true love she lived far away upon the far canal,*
Far canal (far canal), far canal (far canal),
And as sure as there are ladies here, we would not swear at all

2. Johann went a-courtin' in the springtime of his life.
He set off in his little boat to date his future wife.
He'd take a three-hour journey just to kiss his pretty gal,
And the moon shined bright on lovers' night upon the far canal. CHORUS

3. They soon got wed and off to bed the lovers they did go.
When Johann dropped his trousers, his dinghy touched the floor.
She smiled at him; he said: "Uh-uh, that's not for you at all,
'Cause I use it as a rudder, sailing up the far canal." CHORUS

4. Nine months they flew and farther(?) too, a little boy was born.
He looked just like his daddy, even to his Willie-John.
He wasn't bad; just like his dad, the boy was very nautical,
And he used it as a rudder sailing up the far canal. CHORUS


* The last line of each verse is repeated as the second line of the chorus.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: GUEST,Chris Allsop
Date: 12 Apr 23 - 05:03 PM

I think the misheard bits are:

Verse 1, line 2: “tulips, CLOGS, and Edam cheese”

Verse 4, line 1: “Nine months they flew and FOR THE TWO”

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: cnd
Date: 12 Apr 23 - 08:53 PM

The Far Canal song listed above by Mike Bye is, as indicated by the RCs and RBs (Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker), not that of Mike Mann, but from The Two Ronnie's bit Gilbert and Sullivan (listen). Maybe Mike Mann sang part of the same cover, but Bob Taberner noted it was an original; unfortunately, it isn't possible to tell from his post.

Any Britons on here have contact with Henry Ayrton? Is he the same one who works as a DJ for the BBC?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: GUEST,William McDougall
Date: 24 Sep 25 - 03:54 AM

This amazing…

Sometime in the late 1970s I went to Ruabon in North Wales for a stint on a site investigation for the Ruabon & Chirk Bypass. There was a pub (now a private house according to Google Maps) opinion the A259 just north of the River Dee. I went in and got to know the locals. I took my guitar and played songs with a guy named…. Chris Wright!

The author of “Yohann of the Zuider Zee”. He wrote out the lyrics for me and signed the paper, writing his name backwards as he did so. He was a lovely guy a pond we had quite a few drinking and singing sessions together.

If I could upload an image of the lyrics, I would…!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: G-Force
Date: 24 Sep 25 - 04:24 AM

As I remember it, the Mike Mann chorus went:
Far canal, far canal,
You row your own dinghy
And do your own thingy
As you sail on the Far canal

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Far Canal (Mike Mann)
From: GUEST,Some bloke
Date: 26 Sep 25 - 01:52 PM

I remember Mike Mann singing it at The Stainsby Folk Festival in the early ‘80s. Novel etc but we seemed to enjoy it.