Fear Fiddlers Flying-Jobsworth(Helpful Suggestion)

Subject: Jobsworth or, The Helpful Suggestion
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 08:29 PM

from a friend & too good not to share.

Anyone have a similarly good story to share? Musical, of course, this is a music forum!

....................

I was at the Sydney Opera House yesterday at a performance of the Australian Chamber Orchestra (a friend of ours is the principle violinist). The Director (Richard Tognetti) has recently been provided with a violin worth $10mil. He, in turn, passed his previous violin, valued at only $2mil to our friend.

He normally doesn't say anything at performances, but he made an exception yesterday to recount the following tale.

The orchestra were flying from Canberra to Melbourne last week as part of their current tour. A security guard at the airport refused to let them take their violins on the plane with them because they represented a security risk. Apparently, the strings could have been used to strangle the crew. . She told them that she wasn't suggesting that they may do the strangling, but that the strings "could fall into the wrong hands". The Orchestra members were, understandably, reluctant to entrust their instruments to the baggage handlers and the hold, so she then offered the suggestion that they all (there are around 10/12 violin/viola payers in the orchestra) de-string their violins and pop the strings into the post.

Sanity eventually prevailed, and they were allowed to board the plane with their violins

.............................

$10 Million Dollar Windfall for ACO

Subject: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 09:32 PM

G'day all,

I can't see that any on my fellow OzCats has posted this masterpiece of Jobsworthery... so:

John Milce (musician of various loud assemblages) posted this tale of new security lunacy on the AusFolk form, here in Australia:

_ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._

I was at the Sydney Opera House yesterday at a performance of the Australian Chamber Orchestra (a friend of ours is the principle violinist). The Director (Richard Tognetti) has recently been provided with a violin worth $10mil. He, in turn, passed his previous violin, valued at only $2mil to our friend.

He normally doesn't say anything at performances, but he made an exception yesterday to recount the following tale.

The orchestra were flying from Canberra to Melbourne last week as part of their current tour. A security guard at the airport refused to let them take their violins on the plane with them because they represented a security risk. Apparently, the strings could have been used to strangle the crew. . She told them that she wasn't suggesting that they may do the strangling, but that the strings "could fall into the wrong hands". The Orchestra members were, understandably, reluctant to entrust their instruments to the baggage handlers and the hold, so she then offered the suggestion that they all (there are around 10/12 violin/viola payers in the orchestra) de-string their violins and pop the strings into the post.

Sanity eventually prevailed, and they were allowed to board the plane with their violins

John Milce

_ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._ .- ._

Let's hope sanity prevails - otherwise what's next: No hankies in pocket allowed - buy a box of Kleenex ... and we'll carry the hanky safely in the luggage hold.

Regard(les)s,

Bob (Fully aware that my accordions and concertinas look like pipe bombs to X-ray monitors ... tin whistles could be used to beat the hostie senseless ... maybe I should dig out my old nose flute!)

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: katlaughing
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 10:22 PM

Good lord. When I was in school and carried mine back and forth everyday, the kids only teased me of having a "tommy" gun in there!

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: iancarterb
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 10:59 PM

Mandolin on a bicycle shouldn't look like a security risk, so at least until now all the mob/machine gun/sawed off shotgun observations I've heard over 25+ years of ferry commuting have been intentional jokes. Airlines have only objected to space issues on commuter size aircraft, not imsginative security issues. Guess I've been lucky.

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 11:28 PM

Nice visual Mandolin on a Bicycle.....

I am enraptured - and will encaptulate...this week.

Thank You....this is a vision worthy of Joyce, Johan, or "Ceci n'est pas une pipe"

Another week of exploration....thank you Dear Lord.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Jobsworth or, The Helpful Suggestion
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 25 Mar 07 - 11:54 PM

G'dang ... er... G'day, Sandra,

I'm sure I scanned down the page to see if anyone (very likely you ... ) had already posted this - and I couldn't see anything. Now, as I check back to my post ... I see you were at least an hour ahead of me ... but Katlaughing ... and Gargoyle ... and others seem to have posted in my thread..

Sorry about the duplication - I obviously wasn't looking for the right words!

Don't threaten any security guards with Teddy bears!

Regards,

Bob

---

Threads combined.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 04:47 AM

G'day again,

I'm not at all sure that the results of Gargoyle's raptures and explorations will be all that good for security "Jobsworths"!

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying...?
From: GUEST,Norval
Date: 26 Mar 07 - 10:32 AM

No country has a monopoly on this kind of nonsense. The following happened while crossing the border between Alberta Canada and Montana USA.

Excerpted from: Edmonton Journal 2007-03-23

The Pipe and Drum Band of the Edmonton Police Service was forced to leave behind two sets of bagpipes at the Sweetgrass border checkpoint because the instruments are made in part from
elephant ivory.

That was a problem since one set belongs to James McKee, who is the band's pipe major
and acts as the conductor.

The band spent nearly three hours March 15 trying to cut through red tape at the border, north of Great Falls, before opting to leave the bagpipes behind with Canadian customs.

U.S. Senator Max Baucus was asked for help bringing the bagpipes to Butte before the
St. Patrick's Day parade March 17.

Baucus's office contacted the highway patrol and a trooper went to the border for the pipes, which were taken to Great Falls. Employees from Baucus's Helena office picked up the instruments and took them to Butte by 6:30 p.m. March 16.

"Max wasn't about to let a little international red tape get in the way
of St. Patrick's Day in Butte," said Baucus spokesman, Barrett Kaiser.

The Edmonton pipers, who had borrowed bagpipes from the Shining Thistle Pipe Band
in Helena, were elated when their two sets of pipes arrived, McKee said.

"I was very impressed," he said.
"They did a lot of work behind the scenes. We really appreciate what they did."

The pipers had a separate incident with a wildlife inspector while crossing the border
in July and were told they needed documents detailing the history of the instruments.

They acquired letters from an anthropologist stating their instruments were antiques
made before laws required permits for the ivory.

Although Canadian authorities recently said McKee and piper Ted Soltys had compiled
the proper documents, the wildlife inspector still requested more paperwork when
the band returned for St. Patrick's Day.

McKee said the band is reviewing the issue and plans to have the appropriate permits
before returning to Montana in July.

"There's no hard feelings," he said. "It's just an inconvenience."

The pipers have been going to Butte's celebrations for 24 years and last July was the
first time they have had problems at the border, the band said.

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying-Jobsworth(Helpful Suggest
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:09 AM

wot a world!

Security & other restrictions mean Jobsworths can get their one minute of fame (used to be 15 minutes, but our attention spans have shrunk).

Performers like Les Barker can't take jobs from local performers.

Crafty folks can't take their knitting or sewing on planes anymore cos someone might stab someone else with a plastic knitting needle, or a sewing needle.

wot a world

sandra

imagine removing the stings from a violin!

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying-Jobsworth(Helpful Suggestion)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:38 AM

Aha, crafty cross stitchers have found a way around the no needle edict.

Plastic needles. They're light, bendy and just pointy enough to get through the holes in aida (cross stitch fabric) and linen. Add a safety blade in a plastic holder (looks like a disc of plastic with a notch in it, the blade is hidden in the notch) and you've got a sewing kit for planes.

I got jobsworthed at Belfast airport. I was wearing a leather jacket that previously had a hole in a pocket I used to carry 3inch screws in. I mended the hole without realising there was a screw loose in the lining of my jacket (what, only your jacket I hear you say?). I got out of England and into Belfast just fine. Coming out of Belfast en route back to England, they decided the screw that was firmly lodged in the lining of my jacket was a danger to all because I might rip it out and gouge a rude message on the wall or something.... After a good 20 minutes of the guards arguing about it and trying to winkle it out without ripping my jacket, they decided that as the flight was so short, by the time I got it out, I'd be on the ground again.

LTS

Subject: RE: Fear Fiddlers Flying-Jobsworth(Helpful Suggestion)
From: JennieG
Date: 27 Mar 07 - 05:45 AM

A woman I know who flies frequently was told at one airport that she couldn't take her sewing needle on board.

"Very well" she said to Jobsworth "but if you take my needle I want you to take the brooch from that lady's jacket over there, and the belt buckle from that man over there etc...."

Jobsworth got into a huddle with fellow J'worths, mutter mutter, and they passed her through without taking her needle away from her.

Cheers
JennieG