Intermediate Song Challenge 2!

Subject: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 01:59 PM

Far be it from me to mess with TGG hubris-wise, but I thought she might take delight when she again graces these hallowed halls to find we had not been idle in remembering her inspiration.

To that end, I offer the following tidbit, with its deep resonances of love, lust, life and crime all rolled into one neat story. Let us see what miracles of innovation can be raised to meet this one, Challengers!

New York Convict's Sperm Saga Ends
 





 

 
      

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - A saga over the frozen sperm of a
reputed New York mobster who smuggled it out of prison to
impregnate his wife has come to an end with its destruction, a
prosecutor said this week.

Antonino Parlavecchio was one of several inmates at
Allenwood prison in northern Pennsylvania indicted for bribing
guards to traffic the sperm, Assistant U.S. Attorney Wayne
Samuelson said Thursday.

"This was an organized crime thing," Samuelson said. "I
have never encountered anything quite like it."
Parlavecchio, his wife, Maria, and Troy Kemmerer, a guard
at Allenwood, were tried and convicted for their roles in the
plot in 2002.

Parlavecchio, who was serving a sentence for loan-sharking
and racketeering, was sentenced to an additional six months.
His wife pleaded guilty and is serving a year of probation.
Kemmerer was sentenced to 27 months in prison.

Regards,

A

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From:
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 07:52 PM

I had more on this theme, but I think this should be pun ishment enough


Gotta whack it, whack it off,
Then catch it in a jar,
Keep it cool, keep it moving,
So the guard can take it far.
Though I really can't be with her,
I can do her from afar.
If I whack it, whack it off,
And then catch it in a jar.

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 03 - 10:39 PM

That's an extra six months of hard time for trying to find a way around the reproductive system!! It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!!

Thanks, vorbly -- blunt, and to the point, much like the subject!!


A

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: MMario
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 12:15 PM

part of me wants to do a take off on 'The Last Leviathan' and another part of me is firmly convinced that such an action would result in eternal hellfire somewhere in my future.

But there has *got* to be a way to work in something like "It was the last of the great Sperm...."

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 12:29 PM

What a legal system! It's re-assuring to know that when it comes to truely heinous crime the agents of justice are right there, and with the resources to back it up. Make them sperm trafficers squirm! Let no sperm go unturned!

Ah, piddle!
Charley Noble, who's losing his sense of humor in an unhappy world

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Tinker
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 02:34 PM

This came to mind.. maybe something better later...

tune: The Letter

Gimme a vial, 'cause I need it now
Got to get sperm to my baby once more
Jail cell nights are cold
But this move is bold
Gotta get some sperm to my baby
Gotta get my sperm to my baby

Allenwood prison is not my style
Haven't seen my baby in quite awhile
I want to carry on, a baby to be born
Gotta get some sperm for my baby
Gotta get my sperm to my baby

I don't care how much money I gotta spend
Got to get sperm to my baby again
Her lonely days will fade, when I baby we have made
Gotta get some sperm for my baby
Gotta get my sperm for my baby

The guard got caught now he's doin' time
And I'm stuck here gotta tow the line
That vial's been destoroyed, with all my hopes and joys
My baby is waitin' alone now
My baby is waitin' alone now

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 05:24 PM

To the tune of St Louis Blues;

I hate to see, the evening sun go down.
I hate to see the evening sun go down.
Cuz' I know my sperms, been spilt upon the ground.

I tried to send, my sperm out from these gates,
I tried to send my sperm out from these gates.
The gates of Allenwood prison, where I'm an inmate.

Maria, my woman, with her diamond ring, she wants my sperm, more than anything.
Weren't for rats, she'd be carring my child.
Now instead, her names been filed.

Chorus:Got the state inmate blues, as blue as I can be
That   prosecutor, got ahold of me,
thanks to that, there's no baby to be. (spoken)Dog-gone it.

Peace. Rustic

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: TIA
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 05:59 PM

My mental picture upon reading:

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - A saga over the frozen sperm of a
reputed New York mobster who smuggled it out of prison to
impregnate his wife has come to an end with its DESTRUCTION, a
prosecutor said this week.

Destruction? How? Did they hook little electrodes to it and zap it (and the lights in the prison briefly dimmed)? Where there official witnesses watching from behind a one-way glass? Perhaps (and this is my favorite) it was stood up against a brick wall, refused the blindfold, and bravely ...

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: GUEST,Andy Barnes
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 06:38 PM

MMario - Thank you, it is a great compliment when a song reaches an age and maturity when not only can it withstand being wsed in parody but in certain circumstances cries out it !! It's even got me thinking .......

Andy

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 03 - 07:02 PM

"Last wishes? A cigarette, perhaps"

"Yeah -- one per cell!! Every wiggler wants a last cigarette -- start counting, muddah!"

A

Subject: RE: INTERMEDIATE SONG CHALLENGE 2!
From: Genie
Date: 21 Feb 03 - 12:46 AM

Oh, goodie! Another song challenge! I may have to wait till I get to San Diego next week to participate, but I'm eager to get back in the groove of writing silly songs.

Thanks, Amos.

Genie