From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.

Subject: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 05:41 PM

Dateline: Washington D.C.

In a surprise move today, recording industry executives unveiled yet another strategy to try to wring every possible penny out of the music-listening public. Industry lobbyists are hard at work seeking Congressional approval for a plan which would require that the price of all musical instruments sold in the U.S. carry a "royalties surcharge" of 20% of the selling price. If the plan is approved, the money raised will be divided among recording companies, artists and copyright owners.

By way of explanation,recording industry executive Elmo Snide, offered these comments:

"Ya see, every time someone buys a CD, we get our cut. Every time a song gets played on the radio, we get our cut. Every time a song gets played in live public performance, we get our cut. But these damned people playing copyrighted music in their own homes on these guitars and such are not contributing one red cent to our coffers! Most of them spend way more time playing music than listening to our recordings, and it's just not fair! They may not know it, but they're stealing from us! How in the hell am I supposed to make my BMW payment? We don't feel we're being unreasonable. We only want our fair share".

Stay tuned for further developments.

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Wesley S
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 06:02 PM

You know what that means - BUY NOW - before it's too late.

Are you sure this isn't an urban legend started by Mandolin Bros and Elderly ?

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: GUEST,Richard Bridge (cookie and format C)
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 06:24 PM

Er - joke - legally speaking, no public performance, no recording = no royalty, no?

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 07:02 PM

I think that the thread title here isn't bad advice.

You know, they are quite capable of doing something like this. Except they'd doll it up and give people the impression the money was going to make it easier for young people to learn to play instruments.

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Gareth
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 07:37 PM

Errr ! What have they Yuppies thoght of for those of us who sing (or croak in my case) unacompanied ??

Gareth

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 07:52 PM

Well the Public Entertainment Licence requirements, if stricty applied (give the time) mean that in England and Wales it's illegal to sing in any public place, apart from a pub (if there's no more than two of you) or a church, unless thgere is a licence in existence to cover it.

Maybe they'll come up with the idea of selling people individual licences which would entitle them to sing in other places too. Or even allow them to whistle as well.

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 07:58 PM

Well, watch out, Gareth, maybe they'll start adding a surcharge to toothpaste and mouthwash.

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Mudlark
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 10:00 PM

Perhaps a graduated license...starting with a license to sing in the bathroom (with the door closed) and working up to a much more expensive living/sitting room one....

Singing actually outdoors would probably be prohibitively expensive...

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 10:08 PM

OLD joke:

Senator "A" at podium:
"Gentlemen, let me tax your memories"

Senator "B", in stage whisper,
"Good Heavens, why haven't we though of that before!"

...yep, a surcharge on songs people have MEMORIZED...after all, if we don't have to buy CDs or attend concerts,but can sing it in the shower, from memory, they are sure getting cheated, huh?

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Hrothgar
Date: 20 Jul 02 - 09:57 PM

Can I copyright it and get royalties if I've memorised it incorrectly?

Er, not incorrectly, just in a different arrangement, with modified lyrics!

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Hrothgar
Date: 20 Jul 02 - 09:57 PM

And come to think of it, has anybody patented the folk process?

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jul 02 - 10:06 PM

Well, that ain't the half of it. I heard from my closest neighbor, who is the hair dresser of one of them Senator folk that they were gonna make it retroactive, meanin' that if you purchase a used instrument that a formula would apply for the sircharge for the number of songs that may have been played on that instrument that might have been subject to royalties...

Danged, times gettin' tough fir 'round here...

Bobert

Subject: RE: From: Don't-Give'em-Any-New-Ideas Dept.
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jul 02 - 10:25 PM

gee...I already owe someone a fortune for all the times I've sung 'Happy Birthday"...(was it Michael Jackson that bought the rights to that?)