BS: Organisation (Un)Intelligence

Subject: BS: Organisational (Un)Intellegence
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 11:15 AM

Is it just me, or is there a culture in organisations that assumes that if ask someone a question, the answer is that somebody else knows the answer, and when 'somebody else' is asked, the answer is that the person you just asked knows, the upshot being that in the end nobody really knows.

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 11:39 AM

"I'll transfer you to the 'X' department sir.."

beep...click...buzzzz...

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 11:52 AM

Your problem is very important to us. Please hold and you will be transferred to the next available customer service representative.

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: pdq
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 12:33 PM

They should be honest enough to say "you will be listening to 28 minutes of Kenny G on your telephone receiver before you get to talk to a live person".

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 12:53 PM

One place I've dealt with lists different things and asks you for voice commands, as in "pay a bill", "check account balance", "customer service". I found that, although phrases such as "bite me" and "go sit on a ___" get you an "I'm sorry. I did not understand. Please re-state your command", a good "I WANT TO SPEAK WITH A REAL PERSON" gets you put on hold (pack a lunch) to speak to a real person. I've since been told that hitting the "0" works too.

Technology problem...oy. I get an outsourced customer service somebody who is qualified to troubleshoot problems caused by me not being able to locate the "on" button or determining which end (either mine or the computer's) should be up. I generally have a more complicated problem. They refer me to the outsourced tech guy, who gets a little more technical, and is capable of troubleshooting problems involving re-booting (we're back to the "on" button again, but it's a way more technical use of it), cleaning caches and changing settings in Control Panel that have absolutely no effect other than letting me know this person is reading from a checklist that says, "If that didn't work, tell the customer to fuck around with the settings in Control Panel. Tell the person to reboot again and call you back when if that doesn't work).

So I call back TO THE FIRST, BASIC NUMBER, and list all the shit I've done and all the morons techies I've spoken to because I'm makin' notes and takin' names. In short (or maybe not so much): Hi, I called and talked to Ellie Mae who referred me to Paul in tech help who had me change my default font to Courier Regular, 10-pt and re-boot, which I did, but it didn't help. So if you could just refer me to someone WHO CAN HELP I'd really appreciate it.

I get referred to Beth, who asks me for the serial number on my flux capacitor so she can bounce a graviton beam off it and so reset it. I do that, she does that, and everything is wonderful.

It took her 30 seconds of customer questioning and beam bouncing. It took me an hour of talking to stupid people who have higher paying jobs than I do.

These days, I just do all the stuff before I call. Sometimes, to show initiative, I even change my wallpaper.

Subject: Lyr Add: EXCITABLE BOY (Warren Zevon)
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 01:00 PM

Oh yeah, I hate "hold" music. I once did ask to be put back on hold, not necessarily to hear the music. I was laughing uncontrollably and needed to get a grip. The smarmy synthesizer elevator music (don't tell me these guys don't have a sense of humor) was to:

Excitable Boy
Written By Warren Zevon & LeRoy P. Marinell
c. 1976 Zevon Music/BMI and Polite Music/ASCAP

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said

He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
Excitable boy, they all said
And he bit the usherette's leg in the dark
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took little Suzie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
And he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

After ten long years they let him out of the home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 01:03 PM

'They should be honest enough to say "you will be listening to 28 minutes of Kenny G on your telephone receiver before you get to talk to a live person".'

LOL

Shee-it, tell me about THAT!


The last time I had that happen with a certain government organization, I ended up calling my representative in Alberta's Legislative Assembly and explained that it was taking me five minutes--ISYN--just to GET in the queue, and then waits of about 20 minutes to reach a human, and occasionally be told I had the wrong department and they'd transfer me only to find myself back in the f&%$&#$ queue again. He arranged for me to have access to a number that made things lots easier. The number gave me a person, NOT a damned machine. Those freakin' vacuous messages are an abuse of technology. Ned Ludd, where are you?

Y'all have nailed it in one..

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 01:23 PM

Well, I'd rather work with people who honestly admit they don't know the answer, than those who make up something on the spot.

I'm talking about working within an organization, looking for a better way to do something and asking questions like, "Why don't we...?" and getting answers like, "No, you can't do that because...[insert bogus, nonsensical reason here]."

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 01:41 PM

'...the upshot being that in the end nobody really knows..'
This should read '...the upshot being that in the end nobody really cares..'
The problem is that the folk on these Customer Service (haha) lines don't give a toss about you or your problem, and are probably thinking of their next coffee break. If you complain (as I have) to the organisation concerned, about their poor Customer Service standards, they don't give a toss either, you are just a sum of money to them. It enrages people and makes us savage!

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 02:11 PM

"You think i know nothing i tell you i know damb all"

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intellegence
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 02:17 PM

One of the many things that gets me about calling some outfit with seventy-four layers of automated messages is when you finally reach a live person, it's someone with a fairly heavy Indian accent (I recognize it because knew several Indian exchange students at the university) who says, if it'a a man, "Hello. My name is Kevin. How may I help your?" Or if it's a woman, same bit, but "Hello. My name is Tammy. . . ."

Yeah, right!

Then, more often than not, they'll start to walk you through the manual, which you've already spend three hours searching through. In this situation, there are three courses of action I can recommend:

Clicky #1.   Clicky #2.   Or Clicky #3,

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intelligence
From: GUEST,999
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 05:05 PM

LOL, Don. Very very good!

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intelligence
From: EBarnacle
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 09:06 PM

Hello, my name is Peggy.

Subject: RE: BS: Organisation (Un)Intelligence
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Sep 11 - 06:56 PM

I like it when they play dirty instrumentals...