BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*

Subject: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 12:02 PM

March is "Music in the School" month. My sister, bet, the elementary music teacher just sent me this and thought you all might find it funny, too:

THESE ARE ACTUAL ANSWERS FROM STUDENTS ON MUSIC EXAMS

The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.

Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethove's Erotica, Tchaikovsk's Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

A harp is a nude piano.

The main trouble with the French Horn is that it is too tangled up.

An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.

The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.

Agitato is a state of mind when on's finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.

Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.

I know what a sextet is, but I'd rather not say.

Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.

Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Kim C
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 12:17 PM

HeeHee! I used to sing with a girl that said "acapello." Drove me nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 12:26 PM

So 'Spaw was right in suggesting his Aussie-Amish moustache pitchfork tuner!

mcmoo

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Hollowfox
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 02:33 PM

Hey Kat, I took part in singing Taco Bell Canon a couple of years ago. If I can find it, I'll post the lyrics Saturday.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Amergin
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 02:41 PM

I really had no idea Bach kept a spinster up in his attic to pratcise on....

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 02:43 PM

LOL! (And only one of those is wrong, too! French Horns are not "tangled up"!) *g*

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:14 PM

I am sceptical that some of these are actual. They are too contrived and cutesy. Sorry to be a sceptic.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:39 PM

I know of plenty of lines that I had better refrain from singing . I hope that kid got full credit for his/her answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:53 PM

I've actually heard some of these before.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:56 PM

I also doubt that they are all actual but I got a laugh out of them all the same. I particulary like the idea of JS Bach practicing on an old spinster.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:57 PM

I seem to recall reading this list in Readers' Digest sometime in the early sixties...

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 03:59 PM

well - except for the "pre-Madonna" one. that's new to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Hollowfox
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 04:15 PM

Well, Peter, they may not be actual, but if they're in everything from Reader's Digest to the Mudcat, they may well end up in some corner of the folk canon. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 04:18 PM

Yeah, I thought they might be a bit too contrived for some students, but figured we were all due for a good laugh, anyway.

IT'S MARCH!!! WHOO-HOO!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Students Answers from Music Exam*BG*
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 01 Mar 01 - 05:34 PM

Maybe one of the Joe-clones could merge this thread with the urban legend thread. It would be right at home there.

Dave Oesterreich