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Subject: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST,Fred Lloyd Date: 19 Apr 02 - 11:53 PM Does anyone know any alternative humourous lyrics for this song? Thanks |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST Date: 20 Apr 02 - 01:50 AM Loads of versions: Here,
here and
for example. (you'll need to scroll down on most of the links
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST Date: 20 Apr 02 - 01:53 AM Also see this previous thread |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST Date: 20 Apr 02 - 06:09 AM How many queers can you grab by the ears in an English country garden I've caught a few and much nicer than you in an English country garden |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE SPECTRUM (Dominic Behan) From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Apr 02 - 05:17 PM The Spectrum Dominic Behan Published in "Folk Scene" January 1966 The spectrum is I will be bound what the spectrum of our fathers was Red, white and blue on a golden ground and a little dash of purple of course Establishment is what it was. What it is it still shall be: Oxford, Eton, Cambridge, Gordonstoun Playing fields and patronage are all we can expect in an English country garden Refrain: Flogging, don't forget the flogging Would you let your daughter or your sister or your Mother if you could before it started Marry with a-- sorry, I don't like to call them coloured, said the whitesmith noble hearted Daddy was a black n' tan made his money in Japan, always said the coins went tinkle never "chink" We all mind our P and Q there's nothing else for us to do in an English country garden Refrain: Language! Don't forget your language! How many of your best friends are Jews in an English country garden? ? If jack-boots were marching which would you choose and if you don't of course we'll pardon Jesus Christ or Einstein, Israel or Palestine? Which one What one...slowly...take your time Maybe we will go to tea and miss the gallows-tree in an English country garden Refrain: Hanging--Don't forget the hanging. Please remember who wrote this song, and when, before you criticise it. It is a product of its time, and I only pass it on as a historical document, not as an endorsement. Giok |
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Subject: Tnx Re Alt.English Country Garden lyrics From: GUEST,Fred Lloyd Date: 22 Apr 02 - 07:04 AM Thanks for the replys re request for alternative English Country Garden lyrics - unfortunately I only managed to reference a few before the machine crashed, but grateful anyway. |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: John MacKenzie Date: 22 Apr 02 - 03:37 PM Cover it with broken bricks Buy a ton of ready mix Spread them and let it harden I contemplate a concrete estate Not an English country garden Can't remember any more....Giok |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST,Bruce D Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:43 AM Orginial tune by Percy Granger (sp?) critra early 1900's. |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: GUEST,Jim I Date: 23 Apr 02 - 05:31 PM Many years ago (in Scotland of course) there was How many more will we have in '64 Of the English Royal Family Can't remember the rest unfortunately |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH ROYAL FAMILY (parody) From: weerover Date: 07 Nov 02 - 07:53 AM Yet another dormant thread I found while searching for something. The Scottish version referred to above is by frequent contributor Jim McLean and is as follows: THE ENGLISH ROYAL FAMILY How many more did we have in'64 of the English Royal Family? The queen she had four with expenses for a score of the ERF Margaret is doing her best, trying to keep up with the rest Did she have a little girl or boy? Did Viscount Linley have a brother? Does it matter it's another Of the ERF Marina, time to change Marina The Duke of Kent believed that his wife should conceive for the ERF So way out in Hong Kong they increased the merry throng of the ER And up in Scotland, here's the rub, guess who's joined the pudding club Princess Alexa-a-a-andra So princes, dukes and peers as well, help to increase and to swell The ERF Oysters, don't forget the oysters I may have transposed a line or two from a third verse which I'm sure is in Jim's book, but I can't put my hand on it at the minute. |
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Subject: RE: Alt. lyrics for 'English Country Garden' From: weerover Date: 07 Nov 02 - 07:58 AM Oops, missed out an F in v2 line2, and this is obviously an abbreviation of the title. Just realised that Jim's lyrics and Dom Behan's were written about the same time and when they were mates - a wee bit of competition going on? |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: English Country Garden afrikaans From: GUEST Date: 16 Apr 15 - 04:45 AM |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: English Country Garden parody From: GUEST,Trina Date: 18 Aug 15 - 01:34 PM |
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Subject: Lyr Add: IN AN ENGLISH URBAN GARDEN From: GUEST,P.M.Adamson Date: 09 Mar 19 - 04:21 PM I wrote this a few years ago and much to my horror found the idea is totally unoriginal and been done in plentiful supply. May as well include it here to add to the mix.
In an English Urban Garden
How many things are there to see in an English Urban garden |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN BATS From: Steve Parkes Date: 10 Mar 19 - 02:37 PM One of my own, written as part of a fund-raiser for the Isle of Wight bat Hospital. (And you can make it scan...) English country garden bats How many kinds of bats can you find In an English country garden? I’ve got a list, though they don’t always rhyme, But I’m sure you’ll soon forgive me: Whiskered bat and barbastelle, Daubenton’s and pipistrelle— Common, midge or Nathusius’— Flitting all around when the sun goes down In your English country garden. Natterer’s bat enjoys a chat with Brandt’s bat and Leisler’s bat As they fly above your garden. Serotine and lesser horseshoe, noctule and greater horseshoe Flutter by the garden. Brown long-eared and grey long-eared, Good old greater mouse-eared, All live it up with the parti-coloured bat; They all take flight when day turns into night In an English country garden. Bechstein’s … don’t forget the Bechstein’s! © Steve Parkes 2006 |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: English Country Garden parody From: GUEST,Ben Rigsby Date: 15 Jul 26 - 09:57 PM Many years ago, unhappy with the glaringly inappropriate inclusion of American species in the Jimmie Rodgers ’hit’, I expanded/reworked the list of taxa accordingly while also widening/ambiguating the catchment area to make it more inclusive. IE beyond the confinement of England. I strummed through it once or twice at the time but have never aired this song publicly, it was forgotten and shelved. Potential bones of contention/hypocritical inclusions: It’s a fair cop. I realise that the quail is poultry and neither a songbird nor native to Blighty but the only other rhyme I could muster was water rail, and that one isn’t among the songbird clan either. Perhaps of the two, quails are more likely to be seen in garden habitats at least. Grasses and trees DO have flowers of course. Oh yeah, the lyrics….. British Backyard Gardens How many kinds of wild flowers grow In my Gloucester county garden? I’ll tell you now Of some that I know And those I miss You’ll surely pardon Agrostis, Poa, Timothy Bittercress, Beech, Hazel Tree Ragworts, Bindweeds, Crepis, Willowherbs Ivy up and over walls Bryophytes where water falls In my Gloucester county garden How many inverts buzz or crawl below In a British backyard garden? I’ll tell you now Of some that I know And those I miss You’ll You’ll surely pardon Hoverflies, Moths, Bumblebees Woodlouse, Earwig, Centipede Butterflies that sway On the fume polluted breeze Horse flies alight and bite It’s the midges turn at night In our town or country gardens How many songbirds Flit to and from Through our Celtic country gardens? I’ll tell you now Of some that I know And those I miss You’ll You’ll surely pardon Blackbird, Robin, Nightingale, Goldfinch, Spareow, Wren and Quail A Song Thrush at the anvil Hammering a snail Hope is borne On feathered wing With the gifts The migrants bring To our Celtic UK gardens How many herptiles Slip to and fro Through allotment plots And gardens? I’ll tell you now That the species range is low But pet releases Won’t be pardoned Slow worms are the likeliest I doubt you’ll hear An Adder hiss Grass Snakes get 5 foot long But before you blink They’re gone The official stamp of spring’s When the Common Frogs Come sing From the ponds and puddles Of our gardens How many mammals Our nearest, dearest kin Share our homes Sheds, parks And gardens? I’ll tell you now Of some that I know And those I miss You’ll surely pardon House Mouse, Brown Rat Fox and Shrew Maybe Badgers One or two While hedgehogs rustle leaves From the birds The Squirrel thieves Then at dusk The Pipistrelles Leave the alcoves Where they dwell To raid our outdoor Backyard larders. Vera Lynne should have bought herself a field guide before she started crowing as well: Blackbirds over the white cliffs of Dover is quite plausible. Or maybe Blue Tits Perhaps even “there’ll be Blue Peter observed from the white cliffs of Dover” (the maritime vessel pennant I mean not John Noakes, Valerie Singleton, Lulu the pooping baby elephant et al). But not Bluebirds which are found thousands of miles away in the northern USA/southern Canada region. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: English Country Garden parody From: GerryM Date: 15 Jul 26 - 11:31 PM Allan Sherman, Here's toi the Crabgrass, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PCGjgjvvTg In case you can't tell, it's done as a duet. Here’s to the Crabgrass Song by Allan Sherman and Jacqueline Ward Lyrics Here's to the crabgrass Here's to the mortgage, in fact Here's to Suburbia Lay down your briefcase Far from the rat race Where nothing can disturb ya Uncomplicated It's what we waited For so long in this city Come, let us go there Live like Thoreau there A life of sweet simplicity Did you set the thermostat? No, I don't know where it's at Tuesday, the Cub Scouts meet again Walk the dog and cut the grass Take the kids to dancing class Jim's Little League got beat again Can't keep a maid here No matter what they're paid here The place has bad publicity Why did we move here? Don't you remember To live in sweet simplicity? Here's to mosquitoes Clam dip and Fritos To golf and bridge and scuba there Men wearing knee pants Women in Capri pants Discussing what's with Cuba there Each big appliance Treats you with defiance Until it finally falls apart Call the repairman In a week, he's there, man To knock your kitchen walls apart Tommy's got a bloody nose Gotta fix the garden hose Book of the Month Club came today Didn't read the last one yet Yes, you did, but you forget Oh, well, they're all the same today Here's Mrs. Ritter She's the babysitter Tonight, we're going joyously Back to the city Where life is gay and witty Back to the noise there That everyone enjoys there Back to the crush there Hurry, let us rush there Back to the rat race Don't forget your briefcase Back in the groove there Say, why don't we move there Away from all of this Sweet simplic It Ty? Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Allan Sherman / Lou Busch Here’s to the Crabgrass lyrics © Wb Music Corp. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: English Country Garden parody From: GUEST,Georgina Boyes Date: 16 Jul 26 - 07:36 AM To correct an injustice from a post in 2002 - "Country Gardens" was arranged by Percy Grainger from a morris dance tune collected from William Kimber by Cecil Sharp. Perhaps someone who follows the workings of the EFDSS (or whoever they are now) can say whether Kimber received any royalties as a result. Usually, money went to the collector of a traditional tune/song rather than its traditional performer, so perhaps he didn't. There's certainly a rather sad story from William Kimber about his hearing it being played through the window of a house he was working on. |
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