Lyr Req: funny retirement songs for scotsman

Subject: Lyr Req: funny retirement songs for scotsman
From: GUEST,Mary Ann K.
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:46 AM

I'm planning my boss' retirement and I need suggestions on funny retirement songs for a scotsman who was once a ship's captain and now retiring after 25 years of service as a General Manager of a successful company. He loves to drink, loves to sing and loves his yatch in the West Highlands of Scotland.

Many thanks

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: funny retirement songs for scotsman
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 11:39 AM

...not about retirement, but one that a Scot might appreciate:

ARTIST: Mike Cross
TITLE: The Scotsman
Lyrics and Chords


Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he wandered off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-deet
He wandereded off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-dilt
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-dirth
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-doe
Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Och, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize
Ring-ding-diddle-liddle-I-de-o, ring-di-diddley-I-dize
Och, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize

Mike Crosshas recorded this twice, once with accompaniment and once acapella and Bryan Bowers also has a good version of this song.