BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 11:45 AM

Leadfingers you swine, lurking in the undergrowth no doubt disguised as a garden ornament!

This man must be an imposter, he claims to be a banjo player!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 11:58 AM

we'll just turn him in to the Gnome Libration Army for impersonation of a garden ornament. they'll take care of him!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 06:52 PM

Any chance of another beer in the corner here? I've been singing all evening with little boys, and they aren't half so much fun as big ones.

Pass over some of that Rapa Nui, but please, I like my salads like I like my men... undressed!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 06:01 AM

I thought you liked your salad covered in chocoloate, Liz!
MMario - what about a side dish of Krill. There's a thread
detailing their escape routes, so it should be easy to set nets to haul them in. I'm sure it would keep the old squid out of trouble for a week or two.
Oh and barperson - I'll have a pint of beer - This sounds like a suitable one to go with it - Jolly Roger Christmas Ale.
Good health to all
Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Leadfingers
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 07:46 AM

And the Men in Tights are moaning all the way to the bank that there
wont be any booze or food left in the Tavern by the time we stop doing Christmas Entertainment for the Hoi Polloi of the Thames Valley !

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 09:13 AM

Yummy, he said to himself, chocolate covered krill!

And he sang!

We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.

We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!

And having another, sang another in an awful Scottish accent:

We're Men!! We're men in KILTS!
(lisping) YES!
And we all know, what's hanging below, it never wilts!
We're Me-en, men in kiiiiiiilts,
If you lift up the plaid, it can be sayed, which way it tilts!
You might think we're just nancys, but we're surly, pissed off and mean!
And if you call it a dress or skirt, then we'll have to stab ya in your spleen!
Yeah! We're MEN! (manly men!) Men in KILTS! (lisping) YES!
Look down below, and then you'll know, how well we're built!
We're me-en, Men in kiiiiiiiilts,
And we can't think of anything else that rhymes with "Ilt!"
You might think that we're pansies, but you have to be brave to dress like this!
If you keep pissing us off, we'll grab yer throat and give ya a Glasgow kiss!

...and continues to repeat the verses at random and off-key until he again fell asleep clutching his piobrach-and-water....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 09:42 AM

And I just bet you were doing the actions to that song.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 09:43 AM

"guilt"" rhymes as does "spilt" and "quilt". Should be another verse in that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 09:52 AM

Standing on a stilt, he felt guilt about having spilt beer upon the quilt.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 11:53 AM

Yes, he felt guilt about having spilt beer and silt upon the quilt while on a stilt.

Mostly because when his wife found out he was gonnna be kilt.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 01:16 PM

The guilt was felt upon a gilt guilt stilt, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 05 - 08:05 PM

Sorry, no stilts here, but we do have a step-stool behind the bar. Will that help? You'll have to launder your own quilt--just head through the coat closet into the Recovery Ward and use the laundry facilities in there. Better tiptoe so Nurse Ratched doesn't hear you. And don't wake Spaw, if he turns up in there one of these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 09:08 AM

Down at the bottom is an ad for "Traditional kilts made from Cornish tartan. Great prices."

And all along I'd thought that the Cornish tartan was an endangered species...good eatin', though.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 11:11 AM

Sage prys a frozen squirrel off of the windowsill on the Tavern porch, and tucks it into her pocket to warm it up.

Brrrrrrrrr but it's cold out that Texas door today! Barkeep, what do we have back there to eat that is hot?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 12:45 PM

*hand-cleaning the 9,651,734,331st krill, before carefully dipping into chocolate and setting aside to allow chocolate coating to harden*

Well - the krill isn't *HOT*, but it isn't cold. and there's a vat of Incandescent Pickle Chili ready

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 01:04 PM

Nothin' like poached squirrel brains on toast! -- for you. I really don't care for them. Thanks anyway. Really, no, I just ate. Help yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 01:54 PM

Mmmmmmmmm roast squirrel.. .very tasty. Comes with its own hazelnut stuffing.....

The Office Party is tomorrow, today everyone else decked the office with swags of tatty tinsel, manky mobiles and putrid yellow paperchains. I grinched in my corner and just put my solitary bauble on the begonia. I'm going out to dinner with a gorgeous young man instead of the office party.... I ain't completely stupid!

So... fill me up Barkeep, got to have a good base on which to lay that Spanish wine! (_)?
LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM

A sharp-eyed cat, sitting on a chair that is tucked under the edge of a table, notices the bulge in Sage's jacket pocket begin to shift as the semi-hairless squirrel inside warms. Her sharp-eyed pooches notice the sharp-eyed cat under the table and begin to wag tentatively and creep forward.

For those who read this secret language of white, you may want to seek cover. It's bound to get messy and noisy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: My guru always said
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 04:06 PM

'Hmmm, what's she got in her pocketses?', the sharp-eyed Tabby thinks to herself while keeping a sharp eye on the interested hounds....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 04:13 PM

If that squirrel is named 'Precious' I may toss my cookies. and since they just came out of the oven (white Chocolate, baileys and pecan) and are HOT you don't want that!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 04:57 PM

Toss some of those cookies over this way Mmario, I've not had any dinner today and I'm too tired to either cook or eat....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: GUEST,Reliable Narrator
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 05:36 PM

Overnight the lovely sweet-smelling fir tree was decorated with bows, shiny glass balls, case-hardened gingerbread cookies and assorted animal treats by the Tavern's cats, ducks, and humans. The squid hung the star on the top in a move no one can easily describe, so I won't. In the morning gifts started to accumulate underneath, most of them wrapped in colorful paper. Three notable exceptions were the bags of dry food—dog food, cat food, and dried corn for the ducks. These leaned against the wall beside the tree where they had been placed by a good Samaritan. "Thanks, Mudcat critters, for lovely memories in days gone by" said a note on the sack of corn, attached with a dab of silver duct tape.

Clementine, the rotund calico, sat near the forgotten harness in the beams above the tree, comfortably twitching her tail and eyeing the dogs eyeing the cat eyeing the squirrel in the pocket. A movement in the corner of her eye had Clementine suddenly leap from the beam onto the harness rope and bungee jump swiftly to within three feet of the floor. A large barn owl circled the room, startling all out of their warm holiday contemplation of the food chain, radically shifting their positions from one of "predator" to one of "meal."

Just then, Mmario walked into the room carrying a hot platter of something that smelled wonderful, and Rapaire lurched forward from his bench in the corner. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 05:45 PM

Well, hell, that's a FINE howdy-do! Food for everyone EXCEPT poor old Gluon, huh? You got something against multidimensional, multiquanta, duck dogs or something?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: moonglow
Date: 08 Dec 05 - 11:44 PM

The Texas door swings open violently, almost tearing off its hinges, and fills the room with a blast of frigid air. A young woman wearing a huge jacket, a long flannel skirt, and massive snow-boots steps in, nearly tripping over the threshold in her hurry to get out of the cold. She seems to be struggling with a small bag, which appears to be quite heavy for its size. Dropping it on the bar with a heavy thud, she turns away to close the door, revealing to the observer the label on the package: "For Gluon," written in curly script.

"What the hell is that made of?" she grumbles, glaring at the heavy bag, as she takes off her coat, flinging it into the corner (nearly missing Rapaire). She sits down quietly in another corner, embarrassed as everyone is now staring at her, and calls for a mug of cocoa.

"...and don't skimp on the marshmallows!" She sits back and looks around, as Clementine settles into her lap.

"Whew... I got here early this year."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 03:48 AM

And what is this damn orange fruit doing in my lap?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:02 AM

reading the small script on the label of Duck-dog food:

Collapsed matter, anti-particle clusters, wavicles, gravitons. Less then .001% nutrinos.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:07 AM

So...it's not very neutrinoish, huh? Poor put, it's probably produced on machinery that has also processed antimatter and you know what that'll do to his digesti...where'd it go? And what's that eating sound over there in the other corner's corner?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:15 AM

The almost frozen squirrel feels the heat slowly seeping back into his motheaten fur. It had been a mistake to don the wet skin he realised for not only was he cold and wet but it would take several hot baths with pungent unguments to eradicate the odour of squid. The sooner he did this the better though for every cat in the room had caught the scent and was eyeing him ominously.

Pausing just long enough to thank Sage for her kindness and grab a warming bottle of rum, he dragged himself towards the Recovery Room bathroom. Ah bliss, the warm scented water caressed his aching body, the rum caressed his brain cell and he slipped into a deep sleep.

Back in the tavern they thought someone had started a chainsaw as the snores reverberated through the foundations, shaking the tree.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnomad
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 09:17 AM

At the third try, the cellar door opens witha soft thump. A strange aroma part animal, part stale beer, pervades the room. Through it appears a banner showing a Heath-Robinson pancake machine, the banner lurhes slightly with the shuffling gait of the gnomad which is bearing it. Wild-eyed, hairy, confused and very evidently the source of the aroma, it surveys the room and company with caution.

Seeing no immediate threat it closed the door, and shuffles towards the petfood, muttering.

"Wonder how long I been asleep in that dive...talk out low, and I've been to some places...talk about snow and ice don't usually bother me, but that duck...Try not the pass, it said... but a six foot duck, in red trousers...must know sunp'n, or was that old man ribber?"

gnomad looks dubiously at the petfood, then at the presents beneath the tree, pauses, then rummages ia a carrier marked Google. Placing a beautifully hand-crafted blickie marked "Merry Christmas Gluon" gnomad dusts his hands.

"Excelsior," he remarks, to nobody in particular and spotting the door marked washroom, lurches towards it.

"Food, need food...better get cleaned up first though or they'll toss me out for sure...up i dee, up i dah..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 03:31 PM

Sage feels a damp spot on the side of her pants leg, but can't account for it's source. Pulling her reading glasses out of her pack, she proceeds to the sack of corn and finds the one little piece of white thread in the stitched top that, when pulled, allows the bag to easily zip open. It sticks. She pulls a little harder, and the whole thing suddenly unzips. Still upright against the wall, the open top reveals large yellow whole dry kernals. The bag is a veritable duck cornucopia there under the tree.

Next she turns to the dog food, but stops when a single sharp claw catches the fabric of her pants and barely nicks her skin through her sock beneath. "Hissssss. Not that one. This one."

Right. Cat food first.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: MMario
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 03:43 PM

I'm surprised you got away with feeding the ducks before the cats! You notice Gluon helped himself - but then again, he usually does - or will, orr would have, depending on circumstance. Sometime it is that he shall have.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 04:24 PM

Just luck--and cats can't read. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 05:45 PM

Meanwhile Santa is still in recovery, enjoying the hot tub with six or seven of the female denizens of this place, his mind leaping without a backward glance from dowdy Mrs. Claus to the lovely young ladies with whom he is conversing.

And back at The Pole, Mrs. Claus is trying to deal with an Elf Revolution....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Dec 05 - 06:30 PM

Isn't that an oxymoron ~ lovely young ladies/denizens of this place?

I for one wouldn't mind if he would just recover his hand from where it is at the moment and pass me my beer!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 05 - 06:15 PM

Just as Liz the Squeak lifted the beer to her lips, a blue tit fluttered onto the bar in front of her and dropped a shiny foil-wrapped piece of dark chocolate.

"Busted," the bird chirped.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 05 - 08:39 PM

Meanwhile, up at The Pole:

"Comrades!" said Comrade Nadezhda Krupskaya Claus (nee Mrs. Santa), "We have overthrown the corrupt bourgeoise oppressor! The means of production are in the hands of the downtrodden workers! Let us make a workers paradise here, where everyone works for the good of all! Let us make a peaceful soviet, a commune from which the gifts made by our hands will spread the Good Word to children everywhere, and by our example the revolution we have begun here will eventually engulf the world!

"Yay!! screamed several hundred elves.

"Bullshit," muttered the one called Leon Trotsky Dugashvilii. "That ain't he way the world works." And his cohorts nodded wisely at this observation.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Dec 05 - 11:03 PM

Now for the good stuff! shouts a down-trodden underpaid woodcarver elf.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Dec 05 - 11:05 PM

Meantime, Alice slinks back through the North door with her precious Baby Fred, Killer of Squirrels and Chipmunks, in tow. "I think he's over here in the bathroom", she hisses. Baby Fred follows, padding lightly and watching curiously for his next prey. "The perfect gift for Mom. I will slip it under the tree carefully killed and bloodless."

Creep, creep, creep...POUNCE!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 05:41 AM

Ah Sins, if only you knew how fiction mirrors truth. Cute little kitten Raven bought us a present Friday evening and carefully placed it under the tree we have waiting for its baubles... half a mouse gift wrapped in intestines.

Being a bad kitty he didn't wait until Christmas and started to unwrap it there and then.

Meanwhile, I am all St Nicholas'ed out after our concert last night, and if I never see another bloody timpani it will be too soon!

Pass me the sloe gin, got to keep the throat supple, 2 more carol concerts and 2 more carol singing sessions to go!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnomad
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 06:59 AM

There is a brief kerfuffle as the washroom door opens to readmit the gnomad, through the door can be seen a number of animals scrabbling and pouncing on each other. The gnomad has been interrupted in mid-toilet, he is cleaner, and has shed the aroma along with his outer garments. He remains hairy and rather dishevelled, but looks otherwise fairly civilised.

Crossing the room to a vacant table, he folds his towel and returns it to the google carrier bag. "Glad I could rescue that at least, always like to know where it is." He sits, repeatedly searches various pockets, and eventually finds his spectacles. He scans the menu, "Hmm, Patagonian Doedicurus� dunno what it is, but it sounds big, and seems to be on special"

Heading for the bar he calls out the order "and can I get you anything from the bar while I'm there? I think I'll be having Calvados myself."

He busies himself behind the bar, murmuring as he does so, "can rescue the rest of my gear when those animals have finished in there...think I'll leave the banner here for decoration...Don't fancy being found dead in a snowdrift with that in my hand...don't fancy being found dead at all, come to that."

He finds a large bag of smoked almonds, rips it open, tips it into a handy bowl, and starts nibbling. He sips the Calvados, and the mug of cocoa which seems to be ownerless on the bar. "Not a lot of music for a Mudcat get-together, think I'll try a quiet one while I wait for that whatever it was, see how it goes down." He steps round the bar, props his back against it, and sings softly..

"Christmas is now drawing near at hand,
Come serve the Lord, and be at His command,
And God a portion for you will provide,
And give a blessing to your soul beside.

Down in the garden where flowers grow in ranks,
Down on your bended knees and give the Lord thanks,
Down on your knees and pray both night and day,
Leave off your sins, and live upright I pray.

So proud and lofty is some sort of sin,
Which many take delight and pleasure in,
Whose conversation God doth much dislike,
And yet He shakes his sword before He strikes.

So proud and lofty do some people go,
Dressing theirselves like players in a show,
They patch and paint and dress with idle stuff,
As if God had not made them fine enough.

Even little children learn to curse and swear,
And can�t rehearse one word of Godly prayer,
Oh, teach them better, Oh, teach them to rely
On Christ the sinners� friend, who reigns on high."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 09:35 AM

Freddie emerges victorious, a bedraggled squirrel held gently in his mouth. Alice proudly struts behind her progeny and the two of them head for the North door.

Note from SINS: "Somebody please stop them. I am still trying to locate the dead vermin currently rotting away somewhere in my sunroom."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 10:18 AM

Cinnamon the pitbull and Poppy the heeler/catahoula have sat quietly as they were told (unlike at home where commands are considered suggestions only) and are all a-quiver to sort out the critters. When their friend the squirrel is carted toward the door their control breaks. Cinnamon goes into stalker mode and moves carefully, slowly, one-foot-moves-at-a-time-entire-dog-level-and-almost-invisible-to-prey

step step run run POUNCE

and there is an explosion of activity. Poppy races in an arc around the cats, nipping and herding them into the doorway. Ducks fly up to the rafters. Cinnamon snatches up the ill-behaving cat with the squirrel still in it's mouth, and happily deposits both at Sage's feet, giving the cat a final big lick. Reaching down to retrieve the wet and nearly-bald squirrel, now looking more like a long skinny rat, she has a passing thought that the big kitten is going to be busy for a while. Washing off industrial-strength dog slobber may require this cat spend time in the recovery ward. She slips the squirrel back into her jacket pocket. "Poppy, head 'em into the ward, that's a good girl," and Gnomad sets down his handful of nuts, steps over to the closet door and quickly opens it wide. "Clear out the loo while you're at it, good girl!" he says, and Poppy makes a loop through the bathroom and more critters head down the hall and slip into the darkened doorway, under the coats. The squid seems to be exempt from all of this, but everything, including a heretofore unmentioned ferret races out of the room, Poppy nipping at their butts, and disappear into the Recovery Ward. Poppy appears in the tavern again a moment later, dopey happy expression on her face as she wags her pleasure at such work.

Someone in the back of the room, transfixed with the cyclonic dog activity, is heard to say "Wow. I hope Spaw doesn't turn up in there today--Ratched is bound to be on a rampage with all of these critters."

While no one is looking, Cinnamon grips the corner of the dog food bag. Her slim hips and waist perfectly still, her broad head and shoulders are a blur as she gives it a huge shake, bursting the sack and broadcasting dog food over the floor. The dogs then happily munch their way around packages under the tree.

A merganzer in a snit decends from the rafters and perches on the open sack of corn. Poppy, always wanting to be helpful, snurfles the duck and seems to understand his request. In a doggie twinkling, the 50# bag of corn is tipped over, broadcasting corn across the floor.

Sage crunches into the room bearing a platter. "Salmon, anyone? Here's another batch ready from the grill."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnomad
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 11:19 AM

"Wonder what's happened to my punctuation since coming in here? Can't be the Calvados, I've only had a few sips yet... I could offer that squirrel some of these nuts, but they are smoked, it might think I was being sarcastic."

Gnomad eases his way back to the table, giving the assembled dogs a wide berth. "Chocolate dipped krill as a desert?" he muses "sounds a bit fishy to me, still, try everything once, except incest and folk dancing. Never been tempted by incest, but he had a point about the dancing, my knees won't take it any more."

Thinks "I'll risk the nuts. Then maybe the lady with the oranges, cookies, and the pint mug of wine will tell me about the krill, she looks like someone who would know."

"Do you think your friend would like some smoked almonds?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 01:14 PM

Following the rumpus and cacophony of the dogs, cats, squirrels and inexplicable lone ferret, Geoff's attention returns to the length of the bar. He watches in long fascination as MMario tackles his latest addition to the menu. It seems as if Phoenix Flambee may have been a slight misjudgement, as every time he gets it burning nicely there is a sudden flare-up followed by a pile of ashes containing a single large red, blue and green specked egg.
Perhaps it might be better to just boil the egg and have done with it?
Ah!
Such is life...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 01:42 PM

He sits on the floor in the corner, sipping a hot mokli and rum flambee, and toasts another blutwurst, impaled upon his sword, over the flames. "Can't beat it," he thinks, "the drinking makes it possible to do the eatin'." And he continues to listen to the music in his head, even if he can't figure out the words or the melody.

And then a loud swoosh and the place shakes like a bomb went off nearby. A sack thuds into the fireplace, scattering the fire and embers, and as various folks take various actions to put out the result, a woman's voice is heard from within the sack, yelling obscenities and profanities and denouncing her former "comrades."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnomad
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 02:28 PM

Gnomad shambles over to the bar, but this does not appear to be a good moment to ask Mmario about the doedicurus, as he is still fighting the Phoenix dish.."Salmon looks good, though, I'll have some of that."

He helps himself, and looks over towards the fire, where a figure is beating out the flames with one hand, while apparently toasting some sort of sausage-on-a-sword with the other.."He's going to knock over that vat of mulled cider if he isn't careful..better go rescue it, but I'm not touching that sack, it doesn't sound like my kind of sack at all."

The vat smells as though it has been simmering a long time, all spicy, and the fruit has almost disintegrated.."Anyone mind if I freshen this up a little, got something in my pack should do the trick?" he makes for the washroom door.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 03:04 PM

Sage takes a quick look in the tavern office behind the bar and notices that the google ads at the bottom of the screen are for Apple Cider Presses and something called "Savanah Mixes."

The message board at Google Central slows to a crawl as the room full of people shouts "slow it down, I'm not done with that line yet" as they read along, rapt at the adventures in the Mudcat Tavern.

"I wonder how we can spice that up?" one of the techies softly says to himself. He reaches for his keyboard and types in "F-E-R-R-E-T."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: gnomad
Date: 11 Dec 05 - 08:05 PM

The gnomad returns from the washroom (in fact from the T&S in Whitby, but who knows that?) he carries his pack, and has ditched the banner with a strange device. Rummaging awhile he produces a silver bottle, "Ponche Cabalero...I remember this one, smells like cough medicine ought to...30 years since I got it in the Pyrenees...better check it first."

He dips a ladlefull of the mulled cider into the trusty tankard which only leaves his side to be lifted to his lips. Adding a brown syrupy goo from the bottle, he stirs it a while with his thumb, then sips, his eyebrows huddle together briefly, as the liquid slides down. "Not quite right yet, but promising."

He upends the bottle into the cider vat, and forages in the pack again, "All these bottles that seemed a good idea at the time...course the bloody Cointreau died in Bradford after a four hour trip that took fifteen, that would have been the right thing." he holds up a flat bottle marked Enzian-likor, but returns it to the pack, "Don't think that would help any, too bitter...Aha!!Lemon vodka, that's more like"

He repeats the ladle, add, stir, taste routine. This time the eyebrows are ready, and remain steady. "Smooth," say his lips, in a tone that would not convince a singularly deaf post, "Think I'll try the Aurochs chile before I continue the tasting, important to get it right after all."

He heads back towards the bar, where the flames are abating somewhat, "Ferret, eh? Where did that spring from? Weasily distinguished from a stoat of course, that would be stoatally different...Say, any of that Aurochs chile still going?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 12:15 AM

Seems about time for some music! Anyone know any bawdy songs, so this alcohol that gnomad is bailing into the cider will have something to take hold of?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Holiday erudition (2005)
From: My guru always said
Date: 12 Dec 05 - 08:27 AM

Surprising all the Tavern's residents, the door to the Recovery Ward swings open to reveal a Ferret and several Cats hanging onto the doorhandle. Dropping to the floor in a pile of fur, claws & teeth they hastily disentangle themselves - comrades in Arms they may be, but not necessarily good friends yet.

Scanning the Tavern the stray Tabby notices a lone Blue Tit, waving a card saying 'busted' from a game of Grass from the 70's, perched in the rafters. Mayhem ensues as she launches herself into the Christmas Tree closely followed by Clementime and the strangely inserted Ferret with Alice and Baby Fred bravely attempting to bring up the rear....