Lyr Req: The Village Pump

Subject: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Rollo50
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 06:36 AM

Does anybody remember a sing called the Village Pump? I heard a Londoner called Roddy Beare sing it, probably 20/25 years ago, but I don't know the origin. I'm still in touch with Roddy, but even he can't remember it in full.
It may be a Yorkshire song and begins something like:

There's a tiny little village far away...far away
Where they grow new potatoes corn and hay....corn and hay
There's a tricky little rill and it drives a water mill
And the mill it keeps a turning all the day...all the day
There is lots of little houses in a lump...in a lump
And a pub that's call The Magpie and The Stump... and a stump
But the thing that takes the day in a proper sort of way
Is the pride of all our place The Village Pump...The Village Pump

Chorus
The Village Pump, The Village Pump, The Village Pump, The Village Pump
The Village P-U-M-P Pump Da da da da
The Village Pump, The Village Pump, The Village Pump, The Village Pump
The Village P-U-M-P Pump you buggers pump etc
etc
I can't remember the other verses and don't know if that one is correct.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE VILLAGE PIMP (parody)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 06:48 AM

Is it this one?

THE VILLAGE PIMP [The Kipper Family]

He's a man who takes a liberated view;
If you ask him he will fix a rendezvous,
If you'd like to spend a night of unparalleled delight.
Then he'll see you right, he is the village pimp,
The village pimp, The village Pimp,
The village P_I_M_P, pimples on the pimp.

La dee dah and Fall dee rall dee ray

There are rusty cars and worn out beds and tins,
And there are piles of rubbish thrown from peoples bins,
And there are dirty magazines and a tatty pair of jeans.
That's the eyesore of the village that's the dump.
The village dump, the village dump,
The village D_U_M_P, dump the rubbish dump.

Well there's a slummocking great mawther that we know,
As she walks along she wobbles to and fro,
Like a bus she's been designed and there's another one behind.
She is what the boys all call the village rump,
The village rump, the village rump,
The village R_U_M_P, blimey what a rump.

When he hobble through the village with a stick,
He's bent almost double, He can't move to quick.
In the belfry there he dwells where he swings among the bells,
He's the village Quasimodo with the hump.
The village hump, the village hump,
The village H_U_M_P, shoulders with a hump.

If the ministry of agriculture calls,
Requesting paperwork that drives you up the walls.
Don't get tied up like spaghetti just call for the Olivetti.
Of the girl who'll help you out the village temp.
The village temp, The village temp,
The village T_E_M_P temporary temp.

Well every Christmas time we book a bar and a band,
With a woman and a pint in either hand.
Well we must look a real sensation in our improper formation,
As we dance the light fantastic at the romp.
The village romp, the village romp,
The village R_O_M_P, stomping at the romp.

Well in the back room of the pub they whisper low,
'Bout something that our bobby'd like to know,
If he knew just what they got, then he'd confiscate the lot.
There's a new supply arrived the village hemp.
The village hemp, the village hemp,
The village H_E_M_P, the dopes have got some hemp.

The other day we met a certain VIP,
Who represents us on the EEC,
He drove a limousine such as we had never seen,
And impressed us with his circumstance and pomp.
The village pomp, the village pomp,
The village Euro MP, Pomp, pomp, pomp.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 06:49 AM

The Archers is the place to ask.
Sung interminably by Tom Forrest (played by Bob Arnold).

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Leadfingers
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 08:58 AM

Posted in this forum WAY back - http://www.mudcat.org/Detail.CFM?messages__Message_ID=1096674

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Rollo50
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 11:06 AM

Many thanks to everybody for your efforts, particularly Leadfingers who has found the right version.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Little Robyn
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 01:55 PM

The village pump
here in DT
But I do prefer the Kipper's version.
Robyn

Subject: Lyr Add: THE VILLAGE PUMP
From: Little Robyn
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 01:58 PM

That didn't work! Here it is.

THE VILLAGE PUMP

There's a pretty little village far away.
Where they grow new potatoes, corn and hay
There's a pretty little rill,
By the side of a water wheel;
And the wheel it keeps a-turning all the day.
Now there's a lot of little houses in a lump.
And a pub they call "The Magpie On The Stump"
But the thing that you should see,
And the pride of you and me.
And the pride of all the village is the pump.

Chorus
The village pump,
The village pu-ump,
The village P.U.M.P. pump

Now the squire he was fond of lots of fun.
So when his eldest son was twenty-one
He gave a great big treat,
There were lots of things to eat,
And each kiddie had a halfpenny (pronounced "hay-pny") and a bun.
Now there were races where you hopped & skipped & jumped
And candy for each one, a great big lump.
But to celebrate the day,
In the proper sort of way.
He fitted a brand new handle on the pump!

Chorus
The village pump,
The village pu-ump,
The village P.U.M.P. pump



Now the funniest chap that I have ever seen,
Gave a temperance lecture on the green
He said "you folk down here
Are far too fond of beer"
And he spouted like a parish magazine.
Now he ran down "The Magpie On The Stump"
And gave us all a great big blooming hump.
He said "Water, that's for me"
So "right you are" said we
And we gave him plenty of it from the pump.

Chorus
The village pump,
The village pu-ump,
The village P.U.M.P. pump

Robyn

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 02:20 PM

Yeah.
'Cept that the pub is The Bull.
And the Kippers' send-up is at least mildly funny.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Rowan
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 04:19 PM

Arawata is a little hamlet in South Gippsland, Victoria.   It has no pub; the nearest is 6 miles away in Korumburra. Although it's where my father's side of the family come from and I spent a lot of my childhood there, I never knew "The village pump" is Arawata's 'theme song' until they started having reunions and 'back to's in the 70s; I must have been too preoccupied with learning the dances (Lancers, First Set etc) and missed it.

Cheers, Rowan

PS Mudcat has started putting red underlining (like Word) under 'unusual words'; even "Mudcat" gets the treatment! It didn't do it to me yesterday.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 04:51 PM

Diane - but I think the Bob Arnold version was actually learned from hearing people sing it, wasn't it? (His parents used to keep a pub when he was a lad, IIRC.) I've also heard that he sang other songs, even if not on the Archers, and a rumour that John Heydon was trying to persuade him to sing at the National (though I haven't checked that with John).

The Village Pump was certainly one of the first songs I heard when I started going to the Herga folk club about 40 years ago.

The version I heard also started "There's a quaint little village down our way" (not "far away"), and I think in the last verse went "so we said 'there right you be', and we went and stuck his head beneath the pump".

Kitty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Leadfingers
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 08:53 PM

Bob Arnold recorded under the Auspices of The English Folk Dance And Song Society on (I think) Parlophone 78 rpm records - And I can remember the move to get a weekly Folk Club in The Bull at Ambridge in the late sixties / early seventies !

Subject: Lyr Add: THE VILLAGE PUMP
From: GUEST,Harry Meadows
Date: 13 Dec 07 - 10:34 AM

My mother (born 1903)used to sing The Village Pump, she found the sheet music when visiting an ancient aunt (in about 1913) who lived near Leominster.   I print all the words as I remember her singing them.    However, I made up the words in lines five to eight of verse 5 (about the milkman) because I have forgetten the ones Ma sang.   Also, she never used the optional interjection (pump you buggers, pump) I picked that up at a folk club in the 80s.

Verse 1:
There's a pretty little village far away
Where they grows new potatoes, corn and hay,
There's a trickling little rill and it turns a little mill
And the mill it keeps a'turning all the day.
There's a lot of little houses in a lump,
There's a pub called The Magpie and Stump,
But make you no mistake, the thing that takes the cake
Is the pride of all the place the village pump.

chorus:
The village pump, the village pump,
The village p – u – m – p pump
But make you no mistake, the thing that takes the cake
Is the pride of all the place the village pump.
(optional interjection:
Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump you buggers! Pump!)

Verse 2:
Now our Squire he likes a bit of fun,
So when his son was twenty one
He gave us all a treat with nuts and things to eat,
And the kiddies had an orange and a bun.
There was candy for the boys and girls to crump,
There were races where you all hop, skip and jump,
But to celebrate the day, in a proper sort of way,
He shoved another handle on the pump.

chorus:
The village pump, the village pump,
The village p – u – m – p pump,
To celebrate the day, in a proper sort of way,
He shoved another handle on the pump.
(optional interjection:)
Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump you buggers! Pump!

Verse 3:
Now one night the rummiest chap you've ever seen
Came and gave a temperance lecture on the Green,
He said: "All you fellows here are much too fond of beer",
And he spouted like a penny magazine.
He rushed down The Magpie and Stump,
And we all began to get the blooming hump,
He said: "Water that's for me", so we all said: "Right you be",
And we took him and we ducked him at the pump.

chorus:
The village pump, the village pump,
The village p – u – m – p pump,
He said: "Water that's for me", so we all said: "Right you be",
And we took him and we ducked him at the pump.
(optional interjection:)
Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump you buggers! Pump!

Verse 4:
No we had a new policeman t'other week,
A funny sort of feller so to speak,
You'd have thought he was all there but, well, I do declare,
He's what you'd call a proper living freak.
One night he came across a biggish lump
As he came from The Magpie and Stump,
He said: "Move on you're tight", but, when he showed a light,
He found as he was talking to the pump.

chorus:
The village pump, the village pump,
The village p – u – m – p pump,
He said: "Move on you're tight", but, when he showed a light,
He found as he was talking to the pump.
(optional interjection:)
Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump you buggers! Pump!

Verse 5:
Now the housewives have been getting in a fuss
For they noticed that the milk was getting wuss,
'Cause the milkman had a scheme where he collared all the cream
And substituted water, cheeky cuss!
We gathered at the Magpie and Stump
And followed him, the scheming little chump!
He was topping up the churns to boost the cash he earns
And we had a lively meeting round the pump.

chorus:
The village pump, the village pump,
The village p – u – m – p pump,
He was topping up the churns to boost the cash he earns
And we had a lively meeting round the pump.
(optional interjection:)
Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump! Pump you buggers! Pump!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 25 Apr 08 - 07:06 AM

I feel I know this song from the scouts or maybe just a long time ago. It sounds like a Music Hall Song. I have had a good fish in the Digitrack and have found other versions.

Does anybody know the origin?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST,Steve Gardham
Date: 25 Apr 08 - 03:55 PM

I've got the original sheet music somewhere. I'll have a look. I don't think it predated 1900. My first encounter with it was as sung by Mick Haywood of Batley in the 60s.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST,Steve Gardham
Date: 25 Apr 08 - 03:58 PM

Got the bugger!
1907 Words, music and sung Archie Naish.
Pub. Reynolds & Co No 10   R&Co 1256 Photo of Naish on cover.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST,Rosemary Garnet
Date: 26 Apr 08 - 11:35 AM

Alf Selby used to sing this at the Cleeve Prior village social in the 1950's. Thanks for the memories! - he also used to sing "Any Old Thing Will Do", can anyone point me to those lyrics? The punch line at the end was where he was asked who he wanted to marry..."Any old thing will do!"... big guffaws from the locals.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 26 Apr 08 - 12:10 PM

Thanks Steve, that's most kind.

I guess it was a Music Hall come Variety show song?

I can't ever remember hearing it sung but I must Have done because I have a tune to which I can sing it!

Cheers
Les

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 26 Apr 08 - 12:15 PM

Just found this:

THE VILLAGE PUMP by NAISH Archie.:

Description:

    London ,Reynolds & Co. 1908. With a brown lettered cover with a monochrome photographic portrait of the composer/performer Naish who has written a comedy song about the uses of the village pump This writer/ performer was born in 1878 and has 10 songs listed in Kilgarriff mainly around the 1900's and again 1914-18. The music publisher Reynolds specialised in monologues and indeed they were the primary publisher in that field. They also published Albert Chevalier.Folio size with music. Condition VG .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Snuffy
Date: 26 Apr 08 - 04:07 PM

Guest Rosemary,

You can find a CD with "Any Old Thing Will Do", by Harry Champion at Windyridge Music Hall CDs

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 08:38 AM

First heard of this song in 1972 in Loitoktok at the foot of Mt Kilimanjaro around a camp fire!
It was led by Roger Bin who was one of the instructors at the Outwardbound Mountain School!

Janet

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 12 - 05:00 AM

first heard it in wales a priest taught us it in the mid fifties. all my kids used to sing it in the car and the grandchildren nnow the greatgrandchildren, it is our party piece. cathie darlington

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: GUEST,bill S in Adelaide
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 04:13 AM

There is a Magpie and Stump in Mintaro South Australia, great little bush pub and I have sung the song in the bar. Reminds me of singing the Old Dun Cow in the Old Dun Cow somewhere near Oxford a few decades ago.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 02:35 PM

There is a Magpie and Stump in Mintaro South Australia, great little bush pub and I have sung the song in the bar. Reminds me of singing the Old Dun Cow in the Old Dun Cow somewhere near Oxford a few decades ago.
I'm glad it's not just me!
I sang McGinty's Goat in "Paddy McGinty's" in Sauze d'Oulx when we were skiing there in 2006.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 06 Aug 25 - 06:03 PM

1982 - Bob Arnold sings verses one & four of the version posted by Harry Meadows above (with some variations).
(https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=106752#2214526)


The Archers Podcast - BBC July 2025
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0lb38cq
> skip to about 34:30

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Village Pump
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 12 Aug 25 - 03:59 PM

As Steve Gardham said many years ago, written and performed by music hall artiste Archie Naish.

Link to song details, picture of sheet music cover, lyrics and account of Naish's tragic death:

The Village Pump

LFF