Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s

Subject: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Gulliver
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:41 PM

I'm looking for the name of a British woman poet who wrote humorous verse around the 70s/80s. She appeared on television regularly and published a number of collections of her work.

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:46 PM

Pam Ayres

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Def Shepard
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 01:53 PM

Apparently She Has A Website Too

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Willa
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 02:57 PM

Beat me to it! She is still writing and performing.

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Gulliver
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 03:47 PM

That's her, thanks a lot folks. The old memory isn't what it used to be...

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 03:48 PM

Can you remember what it used to be ?

G

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Little Robyn
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 03:50 PM

I found a dead rat in my woodshed
I found it at quarter to eight,
I tried to give it the kiss of life
But I'd left it ten minutes too late!
Pam Ayres

One of my favourites.
Robyn

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 04:09 PM

still hugely popular - performances sell out over night.

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: bubblyrat
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 04:52 PM

Remember her from before she became famous... at a pub in Clanfield, Oxon., I seem to recall---The Five Bells ?? Anyway, I met her much later whilst working as a Stage Door Keeper in a theatre, and very pleasant she was, too !!

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Def Shepard
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 04:59 PM

Altogether now!!

I bought myself a Wonderbra
For fourteen ninety nine,
It looked so good on the model girl's chest,
And I hoped it would on mine,
I took it from the packaging
And when I tried it on,
The Wonderbra restored to me
All I believed had gone

Chorus:
Let's all salute the Wonderbra,
The Wonderbra, the Wonderbra,
Let's all salute the Wonderbra,
For fourteen ninety-nine.

It gave me such a figure,
I can't believe it's mine,
I showed it to my husband
And it made his eyeballs shine,
And when I served the breakfast,
The kids cried out, 'Hooray!
Here comes our darling mother,
with her bosom on a tray!'

I didn't really need one,
my present bra, it's true,
Had only been in constant use
Since nineteen eighty-two,
But the silhouette I dreamed about,
Is mine, is mine at last,
And builders on the scaffolding,
Drop off as I walk past

Chorus:
Singing .. let's all salute the Wonderbra,
The Wonderbra, the Wonderbra,
Let's all salute the Wonderbra
For fourteen ninety-nine

The Wonderbra - Pam Ayres

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Fran
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 05:05 PM

How I wish I'd looked after me teeth!

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 05:12 PM

My favourite


G

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 06:55 PM

Tht link doesnt work for me John

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: GUEST,Lindsay In South Wales
Date: 10 Jun 08 - 07:23 PM

Someone just sent me the following - a parody on "I Wish I'd Looked After My Teeth"....


Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:38 PM

Is she the one currently being flogged (not by herself, I'm sure) as the first woman poet laureate when (and if) the current one steps down? Much as it might be desirable to have a first woman in that post - I'm afraid it might rather cramp her style.

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 04:52 PM

Always loved her poetry and the faces...well the faces...well......she is such a great actress!

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:11 PM

No, I don't believe anyone has suggested that Pam Ayres might be Poet Laureate... Wendy Cope and Ruth Padel have both said they wouldn't want to be, I think (because it would cramp their style).

Kitty

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Def Shepard
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:14 PM

I think, being Poet Laureate, would also cramp Pam Ayres's style as well, though I can only begin to imagine some of the poems she might come up with if she were. :-D

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: RTim
Date: 11 Jun 08 - 05:56 PM

For years before she was famous, Pam regularly performed at folk club in Witney, and when she was on Desert Islands Discs - her choice of the one recording she could take of all her selection was my old Oxfordshire friends - John & Chris Leslie, singing The New St. George by Richard Thompson that was on their only CD - Ship of Time.

Tim Radford

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:33 AM

my favourite - should be read in that lovely Oxfordshire (?) burr

"Oi am a little bunny rabbit,
Sitting in my 'utch.
Oi prefer to sit at this end,
Oi don't care for that end...

...much."


I thank you!
Dáithí

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:45 AM

And it continues....

I'm glad tomorrow's Thursday,
Cos with a bit of luck,
As far as I remember,
That's the day they pass the buck!

LTS

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 04:55 AM

Yes indeed she is from Stanford in the Vale.

I recently discovered ancestry in the neighbouring hamlet of Baulking. It's amusing to think that my ancestors might have spoken with that same "Oxfordshire burr"........

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Tangledwood
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:23 AM

Lindsay In South Wales - that great parody seems familiar. Is it by any chance by Shirley Friend?

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Little Robyn
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:26 AM

I am a dry stone waller,
All day I dry stone wall.
Of all appalling callings
Dry stone walling's worst of all!

She sure has a way with words!
Robyn

Subject: RE: Name of British woman poet, funny, 70s
From: Ross
Date: 12 Jun 08 - 05:37 AM

She has a sister called Pubic