Lyr Add: Ballad of the Billycock

Subject: Lyr Add: BALLAD OF THE BILLYCOCK (Deane)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 01:55 PM

Here's a nautical ditty that just surfaced, which may have some application to the recent incident and subsequent discussion of the British sailors and marines captured by the Iranians way back in 2007:

From Louis Untermeyer, editor, Modern British Poetry, © 1920, p. 73.

Composed by Anthony C. Deane. 1870–?

The Ballad of the Billycock

IT was the good ship Billycock, with thirteen men aboard,
Athirst to grapple with their country's foes,—
A crew, 'twill be admitted, not numerically fitted
To navigate a battleship in prose.

It was the good ship Billycock put out from Plymouth Sound,
While lustily the gallant heroes cheered,
And all the air was ringing with the merry bo'sun's singing,
Till in the gloom of night she disappeared.

But when the morning broke on her, behold, a dozen ships,
A dozen ships of France around her lay,
(Or, if that isn't plenty, I will gladly make it twenty),
And hemmed her close in Salamander Bay.

Then to the Lord High Admiral there spake a cabin-boy:
"Methinks," he said, "the odds are somewhat great,
And, in the present crisis, a cabin-boy's advice is
That you and France had better arbitrate!"

"Pooh!" said the Lord High Admiral, and slapped his manly chest,
"Pooh! That would be both cowardly and wrong;
Shall I, a gallant fighter, give the needy ballad-write
No suitable material for song?"

"Nay—is the shorthand-writer here?—I tell you, one and all,
I mean to do my duty, as I ought;
With eager satisfaction let us clear the decks for action
And fight the craven Frenchmen!" So they fought.

And (after several stanzas which as yet are incomplete,
Describing all the fight in epic style)
When the Billycock was going, she'd a dozen prizes towing
(Or twenty, as above) in single file!

Ah, long in glowing English hearts the story will remain,
The memory of that historic day,
And, while we rule the ocean, we will picture with emotion
The Billycock in Salamander Bay!

P.S.—I've lately noticed that the critics—who, I think,
In praising my productions are remiss—
Quite easily are captured, and profess themselves enraptured,
By patriotic ditties such as this,

For making which you merely take some dauntless Englishmen,
Guns, heroism, slaughter, and a fleet—
Ingredients you mingle in a metre with a jingle,
And there you have your masterpiece complete!

Why, then, with labour infinite, produce a book of verse
To languish on the "All for Twopence" shelf?
The ballad bold and breezy comes particularly easy—
I mean to take to writing it myself!

I couldn't have composed a finer poem! And there are millions to be made!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLAND'S TRIUMPH AT SEA
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 04:21 PM

We need another Gilbert and Sullivan to produce an operetta about the fifteen British servicemen and -woman, the British Ministry, the Iranians and the Iranian maximum leader.
A great farce.

-Fifteen of the best floating around far from the mother ship in a narrow waterway whose boundaries have been argued about for generations.
-Taken on board by Iranian patrol (G & S would call them pirates). (photo op)
-Held in separate prison cells (did they sing to each other?) and regaled by stories of punishments to come. (missed photo op)
-Reunited in relative luxury, with lots of finger food, games, comfortable furnishings. (photo op)
-Released (with a caution?) by the maximum leader, bearing gifts, everyone smiling and shaking hands. (photo op)
-Arrival home to bands, parents and Brass in full regalia. (photo op)
-Tales of their horrendous treatment told to the press. (photo op)
-Told that they could give their stories to the tabloids. (photo op for big shot, smiling broadly)
Two receive payment before the Ministry decides that was a bad idea and the rest are told they can't accept. (missed photo op, ministers frowning in disapproval and railing at each other)
-Immortalization in sea songs such as the following:

Lyr. Add: ENGLAND'S TRIUMPH AT SEA
(from J. O. Halliwell, 1841, "Early Naval Ballads.")

A mighty great fleet, the like was never seen,
Since the reign of K. W. and Mary his queen,
Design'd the destruction of France to have been,
      which nobody can deny.

This fleet was compos'd of English and Dutch,
For ships, guns, and men, there never was such,
Nor so little done when expected so much,
      which nobody can deny.

Eighty-six ships of war, which we capitall call,
Besides frigats and tenders, and yachts that are small,
Sayl'd out and did little or nothing at all,
       which nobody can deny.

Thirty-nine thousand and five hundred brave men,
Had they chanc'd to have met the French fleet, O then,
As they beat 'em last year, they'd have beat 'em again,
       which nobidy can deny.

Six thousand great guns, and seventy-eight more,
As great and as good as ever did roar,
It had been the same thing had they left 'em ashore,
       which nobody can deny.

Torrington now must command 'em no more,
For we try'd what mettal he was made of before,
And 'tis better for him on land for to whore,
          which nobody can deny.

For a bullet, perhaps, from a rude cannon's breach,
Which makes no distinction betwixt poor and rich,
Instead of his dog might have tane off his bitch,
          which nobody can deny.

But Russell, the cherry-cheekt Russell, is chose
His fine self and his fleet at sea to expose;
But he will take care how he meets with his foes,
          which nobody can deny.

We had sea-collonells 'o the nature of otter,
Which either might serve by land or by water,
Tho' of what they have done we hear no great matter,
          which nobody can deny.

In the midst of May last they sail'd on the mayn,
And in September are come back again,
With the loss of some ships, but in battle none slain,
          which nobody can deny.

No. LVIII, pp. 108-109, "Sea Songs and Ballads," selected by Christopher Stone, Oxford, 1906.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Ballad of 'Billycock'
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Apr 07 - 04:50 PM

Q-

An excellent contribution to the inventory!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble