Lyr Add: I've Joined The Right

Subject: I've Joined The Right
From: Owlkat
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:53 PM

Hi, After all the excellent parodies I've found here, I'd like to humbly offer a few of my own...

I've Joined The Right
Lyrics by Jane Bennett, Curt Heckaman, Bruce MacDougall, Kim Martyn c1994
(New material by Martin Waldman c 2001)

Chorus:
I've joined the right, I've joined the right
I eat pretty good and I sleep well at night
Now I'm so righteous, in gold I delight
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

I wandered so aimless, life was so sweet
Didn't have much but the shoes on my feet
Until revelations hit me one night
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

Just like a long-hair, I wandered alone
Justice and peace I had claimed for my own
But globalization, showed me the light
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

So I begged and I borrowed, I lied and I stole
Defrauded my welfare and ripped off the dole
Built up a bank roll wadded and tight
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

Invested in gold, in diamonds, and guns
Watched all the interest accrue in my funds
Each monthly statement brought new delight
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

And before my stocks had started to slip
I pulled out my dough on an insider's tip
Stuck it offshore, now I'm doing alright
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

And now I profit from global industry
Jobs that I promised no one will see
The rich get the gold, the poor can go bite
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

I've ravaged the timber, the fish stocks are tanked
I'm working on water to sell to the Yanks
Now with the NAFTA I've sold it outright
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

For I was a fool, how could I be so dumb
Preserving the world for the children to come
But now I've traded the left for the right
Praise the lord, I've joined the right

Cheers,
Owl

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I've Joined The Right
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 02:08 PM

Nicely done! Has certain affinities with "I Once Was a Liberal" by the Foremen (wam Roy Zimmerman):

I Once Was a Liberal
Roy Zimmerman

I saw a blinding flash of light
So I pulled over to the first church on the right

(Chorus -- repeat after each verse)
And I feel so good about it
Want to laugh and shout about it
Cos I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal no more

I saw a starving third-world nation
So I exploited its underprivileged population

I saw a bum on the curb today
I hit the gas and covered him with gutter-spray

My heart is poundin' and my head is swimmin'
I feel like I could take the vote away from women

I used to be so paranoid
But now I -- What?

And I feel so good about it
Want to laugh and shout about it
Cos I once was a liberal
But I ain't no liberal...

And I once was a peacenik
--Then I bought stock in Lockheed!
And I once supported rent control
--Then I inherited some property!
And I once was a feminist
--But I just don't understand women!
And I once was a union man
--Then I got me this nice office!
And I once hated racism
--But I figured, why fight it?!
And I once was anti-censorship
--But I don't have time for fiction!
Cos I once had compassion
But I ain't no liberal... no more!

---------

Alex

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I've Joined The Right
From: Greg F.
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 02:17 PM

Owlkat, that's BRILLIANT! Didn't David Horowitz and Jerry Rubin record this as a duet? Thanks for the belly laugh!

Best, Greg