Lyr Add: Hillbillies in a Haunted House (D Price)

Subject: Lyr Add: HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE (D Price)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 10:02 PM

Here ya go, folks, just in time to learn for Halloween.

I got the lyrics from The Austin Lounge Lizards' web site , but they don't seem complete. I seem to recall a final verse in which all the hillbillies came back to life.

HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
Dick Price

Here we go, down the road, uh-huh.

Eighty hillbillies in Tennessee
All went drivin' on I-83.
They took a turn and they headed west.
Why they did that, anyone's guess.
There were eighty-seven of 'em when they started out,
But five of 'em died and two fell out.
One named Buck, his wife was half dead.
He should 'a' left her at home, but he brought her instead.

They were drivin' west on County Road Eight.
They spotted a house that looked just great,
Four stories tall and fifty yards wide.
The hillbillies decided to step inside.
They parked in front and got out of their cars,
Took in some moonshine in Mason jars,
Got their guitars and fiddles too,
Started playin' Billy, Billy, Billy Bayou.
They were a-laughin' and a-dancin' and actin' very silly,
But what can one expect from eighty hillbillies?
They had a big party and did what they wanted.
They never suspected that the house was haunted.

Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty-one, if you count Buck's spouse,
Eighty-one hillbillies in a haunted house.

They were a-laughin' and a-cussin' and a-drinkin' beer.
The hillbillies started to disappear.
First it was Luke and Lula and Mac,
Then there were more. It was hard to keep track.
Dickie Wayne Price, he screamed real hard,
"There's five dead hillbillies out in the yard!"
They searched the house and they found two more:
Hector and Peanut, down on the floor.
They found Ebby's head stuck on top of a broom,
Found the rest of her in the very next room.
Many strange things happened that night.
They kept finding bodies left and right.

Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Seventy, if you count Buck's spouse,
Seventy hillbillies in a haunted house.

Two were attacked by the walkin' dead.
Three got a hatchet right through the head.
Six were eaten by giant rats.
One was killed by vampire bats.
Six hillbillies got stabbed with swords.
One got hit by flyin' boards.
Three were 'lectrocuted by an electric wire,
And two hillbillies caught on fire.

Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-six, if you count Buck's spouse,
Forty-six hillbillies in a haunted house.

Downstairs, hillbillies danced all night.
Upstairs they were droppin' left and right.
Drinkin' their moonshine, a hundred proof,
Two hillbillies fell off the roof.
Three got strangled by the crawlin' eye.
Two hillbillies just started to fly.
Three were eaten by a giant moth.
Four hillbillies got their heads chopped off.
Two hillbillies had a heart attack.
One hillbilly got stabbed in the back.
Three hillbillies had screamin' fits,
And four hillbillies got shred to bits.

[Recorded by The Austin Lounge Lizards on "Never an Adult Moment," 2000; and by Dick Price on "Dick Price's Theatre of Cruelty."]

Subject: Lyr Add: HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE (D Price)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jun 06 - 08:01 PM

This song was played on my favorite radio show today. Thanks to their archive, I was able to get the complete song. I also made a few minor corrections to the lyrics I posted above. To hear the song, click here to play and then, if you don't want to listen to the whole program, skip to 41 minutes and 50 seconds from the beginning.

HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
Dick Price

Here we go, down the road, uh-huh.

Eighty hillbillies in Tennessee
All went ridin' on Highway 3.
They took a turn and they headed west.
Why they did that, anyone's guess.
There were eighty-seven of 'em when they started out,
But five of 'em died and two fell out.
One named Buck, his wife was half dead.
He should 'a' left her at home, but he brought her instead.

They were drivin' west on County Road 8
When they spotted a house that looked just great,
Four stories tall and fifty yards wide.
The hillbillies decided to step inside.
They parked in front and got out of their cars,
Took in some moonshine in Mason jars,
Got their guitars and their fiddles too,
And started playin' Billy, Billy, Billy Bayou.
They were a-laughin' and a-dancin' and actin' real silly,
But what can one expect from eighty hillbillies?
They had a big party and did what they wanted.
They never suspected that the house was haunted.

Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eighty-one, if you count Buck's spouse,
Eighty-one hillbillies in a haunted house.

They were a-laughin' an' a-cussin' an' drinkin' beer.
The hillbillies started to disappear.
First there was Luke and Lula and Mac,
Then there were more. It was hard to keep track.
Dickie Wayne Price, he screamed real hard:
"There's five dead hillbillies out in the yard!"
They searched the house and they found two more:
Hector and Peanut, out on the floor.
They found Ebby's head on the top of a broom.
They found the rest of her in the very next room.
A lot o' strange things happened that night.
They kept finding bodies left and right.

Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Sixty-nine hillbillies in a haunted house,
Seventy, if you count Buck's spouse,
Seven-oh hillbillies in a haunted house.

Two were attacked by the walkin' dead.
Three got a hatchet right through the head.
Six got eaten by giant rats,
And one got kilt by vampire bats.
Six hillbillies got stabbed with swords,
And one got hit by flyin' boards.
Three got 'lectrocuted by an electric wire,
And two hillbillies just caught on fire.

Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-five hillbillies in a haunted house,
Forty-six, if you count Buck's spouse,
Forty-six hillbillies in a haunted house.

Downstairs, hillbillies danced all night.
Upstairs, they were droppin' left and right.
Drinkin' moonshine, a hundred proof,
Two hillbillies just fell off the roof.
Three got strangled by the crawlin' eye,
And two hillbillies just started to fly.
Three got eaten by a giant moth,
And four hillbillies got their heads chopped off.
Two hillbillies had a heart attack,
And one hillbilly got stabbed in the back.
Three hillbillies had screamin' fits,
And four hillbillies got shred to bits.

Twenty-one hillbillies in a haunted house,
Twenty-one hillbillies in a haunted house,
Twenty-one hillbillies in a haunted house,
Twenty-one hillbillies in a haunted house,
Twenty-two, if you count Buck's spouse,
Twenty-two hillbillies in a haunted house.

Five hillbillies just split in two.
Eight got chased by sticky black goo.
Seven hillbillies watched "I Married Joan,"
But during the commercial, they turned to stone.
That only left Buck and his half-dead wife,
And Buck got stabbed by a flyin' knife.
She sat and watched him as he bled.
She's the only one left and she's half dead.

One hillbilly in a haunted house,
One hillbilly in a haunted house,
One hillbilly in a haunted house,
One hillbilly in a haunted house.
She's so tired she's gone back to bed.
She's the only one left and she's half dead.

Suddenly Buck came back to life.
He sat straight up and he told his wife:
"I don't care if you're half dead.
Come with me back to bed.
If we're gonna increase our population,
We better get started with some copulation."

Two hillbillies in a haunted house,
Four hillbillies in a haunted house,
Eight hillbillies in a haunted house,
Twenty-two hillbillies in a haunted house.
Make that fifty, thanks to Buck's spouse:
Fifty hillbillies in a haunted house.

[As sung by The Austin Lounge Lizards on "Never an Adult Moment," Sugar Hill #3918, 2000.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Hillbillies in a Haunted House (D Price)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 31 Oct 22 - 04:18 PM

Good song to refresh for Halloween. Larry Joba sang it at the Singaround today.