punch the horse june thread

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:17 AM

THANKS,Noreen

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:21 AM

Heloo

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:26 AM

I,am,really,happy,now!
i,wanted,to,know,how,to,do,big,writing,for,ages,
now,i,know,thanks,noreen.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:37 AM

Glad I can make you happy jOhn- and make you laugh!

:0)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 10:42 AM

Hey! :0)

And to change colour, put font color=red in triangular brackets at the start, and turn it off with /font at the end (in triangular brackets again).
Color has to be speeled the US way or it isn't recognised :0(

Always check (using Preview function) before posting to see whether it will work.

Here endeth lesson 2.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 12:56 PM

Hey this is fun! Cor the fings ewe lorn on Mudcat

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 08:01 PM

whats going on in PTH land? Its been a long time since anyone posted here

Wake up ewe lot

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 08:43 PM

I DIDN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO DO BLUE!! HA!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 Jun 03 - 08:55 PM

thats cleva

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 02:47 AM

H

e

y this

i

s

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 02:52 AM

Oh bollocks, I didn't mean to press 'submit'. Noreeeeeeeeeeen HELP, how do you get it all on one line?
SP: Next week he will be mostly learning to play the flanged speculum lightly oiled with listeria!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 04:33 AM

I am now getting very

excited about friday!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 04:34 AM

oh yes it worked!
took a long time though!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 04:48 AM

only one more day left! ya'rekon its too soon to start counting down the hours??

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 05:01 AM

Thought I'd better have a go at this!!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 05:06 AM

Maybe

it

will

work this time. Oh bugger, I've clicked off automatic line breaks.Help someone out there, Sweetfire, how do you get it to stay in a line?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 05:06 AM

Wonder what the next lesson will be? Think we need italics next, Auntie Noreen! How was Goxhill last night? Did I miss anything? Were your mates there, KJ? heh heh.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 05:35 AM

Nice one; the famed DeanMeister asking ME for lessons..... *big grin*

Karen, don't turn off the H1 after every word; turn it on at beginning of sentence and off at the end... understand? Coz it's a heading, every time you put a new H command, it puts it on a new line.

Alternatively, can use big and small command (in triangular brackets again) but that's not so specific.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 05:39 AM

Goxhill was good larst night the oakley crew (Cara) aired some new stuff what they will be recording for their new CD and on what I heard larst night I for one will be buying a copy.

Karennd Colins best friends were there too!

Oh and Karen its not Lysteria its Hysteria

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 06:31 AM

THANKYOU Noreen.

SP could it be chlamydia?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 06:40 AM

Next week he will be mostly learning to play the mongolian nose flute whilst accompanying himself with a pair of musical chinese exercise balls. I also heard him mutter about some bagpipes he'd picked up at Woolworths!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 06:59 AM

Well done, class

.Next lesson: try
i (for italic)
b (for bold)
strike (crossing out!)
sub (subscript)
sup (superscript)
center

All enclosed in triangular brackets, and turned off afterwards
e.g., i turned off with /i

If you use several commands together, make sure you 'nest' them carefully- or I'll be told off for getting u into bad habits.

Look at HTML Stuff thread for more info on HyperText Markup Language.


Karen, the flanged speculum will give me nightmares.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 07:23 AM

what happens at night once all the performances have finished???

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:07 AM

Hodgesons and drink

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:07 AM

You,have,a,ciggarete,then,goto,sleep.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:10 AM

And now, a post in flashing purple and orange, moving across the screen like a moving thing. I am putting the word "thing" in huge type for no reason at all. I am feeling very pleased with myself. The word "Myself" will appear in Italics. Wah-hayyy!!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:10 AM

The Food tent. Till dawn.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:10 AM

Shit

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:12 AM

Having a bit of a problem there, David?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:14 AM

big,perpul,thing.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 08:32 AM

Hmmmm... HTML by sheer force of willpower...
If anyone can do it, Oaklet can.

Just think of the hours of programming it would save!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 09:06 AM

Thing

you mean kind of like that Oaklet?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 09:23 AM

MYSELF

Gud innit!
Sweetfire I don't think a sweet innocent thing like yourself should enquire too deeply about what goes on at night when official festivities finish!!!

Beware of flanged speculums & mongolian nose flutes!!!

Can I have a gold star Miss?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 09:46 AM

No, gold star only for correctly nested commands, Karen. You score 82.5%, A for effort. (And slapped wrists for not doing what you're supposed to be doing... must get on!)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 10:17 AM

The DeanMeister is desperate to beat 82.5%. How am I doin, Auntie Noreen??

And S'fire, after your earlier episode, I think you should keep very quiet....

/center>

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 10:22 AM

oops, that was supposed to be purple, and I don't think the /center> is supposed to appear. Pooh, I think its back to the drawing board for me.....

Is this one better? Maybe it doesn't recognise purple???

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 10:26 AM

AHA!!! Sussed it!! Was using the Queens English to spell colour! Sorted. Can I have an A+ now please, Miss????

This is miles better than working for a living!!

But how do we get it to move? Next lesson required, Noreen.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 10:54 AM

Ah yes, problem-solving gains extra marks, young Dean. (ha ha)
Good to see you having to work at something...

OK, to make it move (assuming your readers use Internet explorer) use the command marquee
(or as jOhn would say, a f**ing big tent).

I will be awarding prizes at the weekend

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:08 AM

I want to see how many colours it would use but I'm getting bored & turqouise & aquamarine is the same colour anyway so I think I'll stop now & go & pick some sweet peas!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:40 AM

And now - the ultimate. Better wear your shades!

Ta Dah!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:41 AM

Bugger

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:46 AM

Bugger Ta Dah!

or summat like

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:46 AM

this is fun

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 11:54 AM

aha! the remedial HTML class!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 12:34 PM

Thats very clever SP, how did you do that?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 01:29 PM

Karen, you missed the 10:54 AM lesson- you were obviously still practising from the previous lesson.

We're not doing badly, MMario :0)
You want to take the advanced class?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 01:57 PM

I'm reeely sorry Auntie Noreen. I was attacking fungoid mildew (no,no,not Oakley's pants again)on my honeysuckle. Have revised said lesson. Is that okay?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 02:11 PM

Check these out
Prostate Gland Warmer, 1918
The prostate gland warmer promised to "stimulate the abdominal brain!" The device consists of a 4.25 inch probe and a blue light bulb in a socket on a nine foot cord. When plugged in, the light bulb lit up.
The Recto Rotor
"In a class by itself," the Recto Rotor was advertised as "The Latest and Most Efficient Invention for the Quick Relief of Piles, Constipation, and Prostate Trouble."
Foot Operated Breast Enlarger Pump
The user created a vacuum by pumping the pedal with the foot. The device consists of a pump, clear plastic tubing and three cups - all in large sizes

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 03:02 PM

Thought I'd have a go

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jun 03 - 03:53 PM

Try this!