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BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer
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Subject: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: alison Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:46 PM THIS IS TOTAL BS.... READ ON AT YOUR PERIL!!!!!! it is also a warning!!!! I visited Joe Offer's home page the other day..... there was a link in a thread.... and had a look at some of his photos....... however somehow Joe has got into my computer ....... every time I start up or shut down I get a quick glimpse of a grinning Joe standing in front of a lighthouse...... I did not download this picture.... nor did I set it up as wallpaper... but somehow IT IS THERE!!!!!!.. and I can't get rid of it..... Spooky eh???? slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Brendy Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:55 PM Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Alison! You should set your internet security to HIGH, that way you may be prompted whether you want to receive Joe wallpaper in the future. Either that you may have inadvertently right clicked on his picture, and saved it that way. Spooky nonetheless. B. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Jeri Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:58 PM Alison, sounds like you've been hit with the "Joe" virus. Eventually every word you type will turn into a blue clicky to a song file in the DT, and you'll automatically fix all errors in Mudcat whenever you log on. Oh, and don't even think about using an apostrophe in a non-possessive plural... Yes, it's creepy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: alison Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:01 PM It isn't my wallpaper... my present wallpaper (the hermitage in Tullymore Forest Park, Mourne Mountains, home)... is still there.... he has infiltrated the very last where Windows 98 used to be telling me to wait while my computer was shutting down.... which makes it worse because I think I have got rid of him (no offence Joe *grin*).... then he reappears.... but only briefly....... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: GUEST,_gargoyle Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:01 PM Be thankful it is the kindly Mr. Joe.
Things could be worse. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: alison Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:02 PM remember "Bob" in Twin Peaks........... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.... (runnings screaming off into the distance......) |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Art Thieme Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:02 PM yes |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Little Neophyte Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:05 PM Brendy, I think the wallpaper is quite harmless. I would be more concerned about the Joe Offer doll that comes shipped UPS. Bonnie |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Mbo Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:08 PM An Offer you can't refuse! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: sophocleese Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:10 PM I'm sorry, I'm a little confused. Are you trying to tell me this isn't normal? I thought it was just a marketing, public service sort of thing devised by Microsoft. I was even giving them credit for crafting it so well and aiming so directly at specific markets. Sheesh, will wonders never cease.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: MMario Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:12 PM Alison - have you tried clearing your internet cache and all history files? |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Brendy Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:14 PM That's the next thing I suppose, there Neo. Alison. In your root directory (C:\) you will find two files called LOGOW.SYS and LOGOS.SYS. Open either of these in PAINT and see if you can recognise the culprit!!! You can probably find the original somewhere there, if not replace it with any 800x640 (256 colours) bitmap. Or create one yourself and save it as one of the above names My shutdown screen reads as "Turn me off now you b*****d" B. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Jon Freeman Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:14 PM Well Alison, as you know, I am a vampire and am therefore well acquainted with the supernatural but despite visits to the website in question I have yet to encounter this phenonimun Jon (Wondering who to bite tonight) |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: GUEST,Bill Gates Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:29 AM Alison, when you make your logo.sys bitmap(your start up Win98 bitmap, which as said above can be manipulated), run it thru a hex editor (Norton have a good one) and mess about a bit with the 38th byte. You get the 'scrolling' bottom part which makes the whole thing dead cool altogether. Remember, Windows can be fun!! Bill. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: alison Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:56 AM Thanks Bill...... it's very nice of you to help me..... my hubby (and others)says a lot of very nasty things about you and your products.... now I can show them how nice a guy you really are.... Oh Brendy... suggestion didn't work...... it still showed Windows....... it tell you... its haunted.... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Joe Offer Date: 18 Feb 00 - 01:23 AM Well, Alison....for once, I'm stumped. But I sure got a good laugh out of it. Musta been that comment I made about pretty Irish women living in Australia, or something, eh? The lighthouse is at Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, by the way. One of the more wonderful places I've visited. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: alison Date: 18 Feb 00 - 01:33 AM Careful people.... if you follow that link ... he'll get into your computer too......... mind you there are some very good photos..... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: wysiwyg Date: 18 Feb 00 - 07:34 AM Alison, Is it possible that you are also hearing voices, maybe Rick Fielding's, when you do not have the radio activated? I think maybe you just need a little rest dear, perhaps at the Neil Young Center. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 18 Feb 00 - 08:06 PM If you're virus, come into the parlour.
A good exorcist might see you right - but remember what it says about that in the bible - you clean and sweep the place, and you get rid of Joe - and then you get back half a dozen even worse.
Better the devil you know... |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Brendy Date: 18 Feb 00 - 08:17 PM The only other thing I can sugesst is to find out if Joe left a cookie on your machine. If so, eat it and wash it down with a few tinnies. After about 10 tinnies, and the cookie eating doesn't work, maybe it's time for the system checker in the \Program files\Accessories\System Tools\System Monitor, and go through the diagnostics (BE CAREFUL) Check first if there is a file on your computer called Joe.gif\jpeg, joe_athome.bmp, or whatever Come out Joe, we know you're in there!!!!!! |
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Subject: Statement from Joe-busters From: alison Date: 19 Feb 00 - 12:18 AM Well mystery solved, and a wayward spirit has departed. The picture was hiding in a wallpaper, but in Windows 98 there are two possible wallpapers :
This is the normal Windows 98 wallpaper that loads after logging in but before the Active desktop kicks in. Then the real wallpaper loads from
All in all it was very clever of alison to manage this trick.........
I could go on, but I won't. My work here is done.
It's as well I use my powers for good.
Chief Exorcist
Joe Busters Inc AKA alison's hubby - Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:12 AM Aah, but you'll miss the wee divil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Lonesome EJ Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:24 AM This may just be a coincidence, but I am saving a Kellogg's Corn Flake that bears an uncanny resemblance to Bert. I'm going to have it examined by my local chapter of Skiffle Players Anonymous to see if it can be ordained as a Holy Sacrement. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Joe Offer Date: 19 Feb 00 - 03:27 AM Gee, I'm sure glad Alison's husband just deleted me, and didn't get jealous.... -Sheepish and embarrassed Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:00 AM Offer offed... |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Jon Freeman Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:16 AM Thinking of offer... can't quite rembember but something like:
He offered her honour Jig |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:31 AM I've got it as:
She offered her honour That could be an interesting screen saver.
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: wysiwyg Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:39 AM Great, now all of you who are *smart* enough to understand this discussion of deleting Joe Offer are qualified to go volunteer in the Mudcat Help Department! I understand there are a few cubicles empty and that they put something really interesting in the coffee over there. I hear they have the best *s*x* over there too. Joe sent me a file of standard replies to the most common HELP questions. I have chosen one that I have made my volunteer job here, but there are some I don't understand yet well enough. Maybe some of you... No, it would be way too chaotic for the Mudcat, and the coffee would go too fast, and who wants to have other people join the orgy, it's too full already! (For those of you already Helping-- can you quiet the orgy down some, I am trying to get some work done.) signed, Misbhaved Newbie |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Big Mick Date: 21 Feb 00 - 10:02 AM Ahhh, Jazus, but doesn't a lad get busy for a wee bit and right away that gobshite Offer starts moving in again!!!! Never fear, FAIR ONE, if that blaggard shows his face again, I shall deal with it........... As an aside, I miss you all. I guess that is safe to say here in a BS thread. I am a bit busy just now, and spend most nights on the road. I will be home soon. FAIR ONE, would you mind haunting my machine????..... I can come up with some great variations on that theme..........LOL. All the best to all the Mudcatters, I miss this place. Big Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 21 Feb 00 - 10:05 AM Mick, do you think he' trying to suggest his lighthouse is bigger than ....(no, of course he isn't, forget I mentioned it!) RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: sophocleese Date: 21 Feb 00 - 12:17 PM Roger, its not a question of lighthouse sizer, its whether the light's on or not. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Bill D Date: 21 Feb 00 - 06:49 PM watt's the question....or amps..I used to know that stuff..(back when I was wired for 2-20's) ;>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Mbo Date: 21 Feb 00 - 06:51 PM Or is there enough lamp fuel to keep it shining all night? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: Jeri Date: 21 Feb 00 - 07:16 PM Bill D - I used to know that stuff too, and all this talk of electricity is bringing it back ohm to me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: computer haunted by Joe Offer From: wysiwyg Date: 21 Feb 00 - 07:37 PM Joe isn't haunting anything, he's just visiting Liam. |