Subject: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Max Date: 29 Aug 00 - 05:28 PM Here's the song challenge. Does anyone know the softdrink Squirt? A delightful grapefruit beverage that was heavily advertised in the 50's, 60's and early 70's in the most novel ways. Tin foil ashtrays, silly poster ads, signs, toy trucks, glasses, buttons, coolers, etc. Have you seen any Squirt ads lately? I haven't. In fact, I can't even figure out who manufactures it anymore. No official website that I can find... So the challenge is to write songs about Squirt that would fit in a 60 second commercial. Longer entries will be accepted. You can submit entries in any format: just lyrics, MP3's or other audio formats, arrangements, whatever. Let's see what you got. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Wesley S Date: 29 Aug 00 - 05:36 PM Open up wide for a great big Squirt Open up wide , it won't hurt Open up wide, have some fun Pour some Squirt over your gums. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: mousethief Date: 29 Aug 00 - 05:44 PM When you're playin in the dirt And your throat begins to hurt You're drying up So open up An ice-cold can of Squirt!
-mousethief |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Mbo Date: 29 Aug 00 - 05:46 PM It's alright to Squirt Bert, but not Sam Pirt! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Giac Date: 29 Aug 00 - 05:47 PM Check this out: |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Max Date: 29 Aug 00 - 06:06 PM OK, so far we have two 5 second songs, can we try something a bit longer? Remember, the goal is to take up a 60 second commercial. Giac, thank you for that link. That's more than I found in an hour of searching. Though I did find this. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: CarolC Date: 29 Aug 00 - 06:13 PM Sung to the tune of Money Python's "Spam Song". (Very slowly over and over again for 60 seconds.)
Squirt Squirt Squirt Squirt |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: katlaughing Date: 29 Aug 00 - 07:01 PM Well, that was an interesting search! I've a few male friends who might enjoy some of the sites I found! My mom loved Squirt. I haven't thought of it in years!
For a zing and a tang
A little bit of lemon,
Your mouth will feel so fresh
So, when you're out a'cruising Ah, c'mon Max, most jingles don't go for the whole 60 seconds; or if they did, they used an instrumental brdige. There's usually ad copy in between...can ya hear me whining?**BG** Hey, here's another only it bombed, I think, at least I've not seen it for years, one of the first diet colas: TAB! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Jeri Date: 29 Aug 00 - 07:38 PM OK, Max. Imagine a bunch of folks in fruit outfits - maybe some of those Fruit of the Loom guys are looking for work. Imagine these fruits on a stage, in front of an audience of thirsty people. Imagine rap.
Ro-de-doe-doe and root-i-toot-toot (armpit solo by grapefruit)
Ro-de-doe-doe and root-i-toot-toot
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Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Alice Date: 29 Aug 00 - 08:11 PM My favorite pop, I have a can of Ruby Red flavored Squirt right here (it comes in regular grapefruit and ruby red). Maybe they sell it only in Montana now??
---
Come and listen to the story of a little can of Squirt,
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Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 29 Aug 00 - 09:00 PM Alice, I think what you have there are old fallout shelter rations. We cleaned out our basements to help with the fire emergency. Check the expiration date....Wait. If it's what I think it is, there is no expiration date. Pass on the biscuits too. I prefer a whole ad campaign: "Be an extrovert. Drink Squirt!" with the School Band Leader, baton atwirl, with a pimply dweeb in background. Dweeb has coke; leader has Squirt. "Be an extrovert. Drink Squirt!" with handsome rock musician banging away at an electric guitar (Squirt at his side) and feebie accordian player knocking over his Coke with a rambunctious "Lady Of Spain". Be an extrovert. Drink Squirt!" with a line of gorgeus male dancers in tuxes doing something romantic while our pimply friend with knobby knees below a badly hung kilt kicks over his Coke while attemting a spastic version of Riverdance. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Margaret V Date: 29 Aug 00 - 09:20 PM Forgive me, Alice, but I found myself singing your words to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme. I remember TAB, kat, it was truly wretched! Margaret |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: katlaughing Date: 29 Aug 00 - 09:30 PM Margaret! That is the tune I heard for Alice's, too! And, yes TAB was horrid! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Mbo Date: 29 Aug 00 - 09:35 PM Sinsull, that was a sheer riot! If Max is smart, he'll chose yours for cash & prizes! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Art Thieme Date: 29 Aug 00 - 09:50 PM If you want some Squirt lemme tell ya how to do it, Grease the can in mutton suet, When your friends try to raise it to their mouth, It'll fall to the ground --you can watch 'em pout, Go easy, But go greasy, Go get another can.
Squirt is the best I've heard 'em say,
So if you want to know what a condom is for, Art Thieme
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Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: WyoWoman Date: 29 Aug 00 - 10:33 PM Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa And keepin'... Until you fill up the minute. ww |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Amos Date: 29 Aug 00 - 11:28 PM (Elizabethan chorale group traipses on stage bearing silver platters on high, each supporting a grapefruit) Whom life left in sorry dirt |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Biskit Date: 29 Aug 00 - 11:30 PM Maybe I've just got a really vivid imagination....but I like Jeri's ditty the best the fruit of the loom guys....nice touch. -Biskit- |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Amos Date: 29 Aug 00 - 11:35 PM Correction: Come Ye To Squirt (Elizabethan chorale group traipses on stage bearing silver platters on high, each supporting a Whom life left in sorry dirt (Lute player steps forward and double thunbs a smart and courtly melody while lords and ladies Let not dull care thine eye divert! Cho From th' ancient grapefruit come,
(Complex roulade of intertwining figures humming in baroque harmonies folding into echoes, |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Alice Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:23 AM kat and Margaret, that is the tune you are supposed to hear whenever lyrics start with "Come and listen to the story of...." |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: katlaughing Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:26 AM Oh no! LOL, thanks, Alice! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Alice Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:37 AM Well, I see mine with a Marlboro type working cowboy who has kicked the tobacco habit and is now addicted to ....Squirt. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: katlaughing Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:59 AM They still make it!! ALL ABOUT TAB, the first diet cola. **BG** |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Amergin Date: 30 Aug 00 - 06:50 AM I thought I saw that crap in a store not too long ago.... |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Troll Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:02 AM I was workin' for coke in the bottling plant when they came out with Tab. Managment gave everyone in the plant a 6-pack for their very own.The consensus was that only a man who was dieing of thirst could drink a whole bottle. They later changed the formula, but it didn't help much in my opinion Squirt is good stuff but the muse ain't moving right now. troll |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:14 AM The general concensus was that TAB tasted tinny. But some were addicted to it and protested loudly when it was dropped as better (???) diet drinks came on the market. Remember the scene from "Back To The Future"? Modern day "Cal" orders a TAB. The clerk looks at him blankly and says he can't give him a tab until he runs up a bill. Art and Amos - well done! Will gargoyle be earning royalties on this? |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: MMario Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:20 AM Bravo Amos! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Kim C Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:38 AM heeheeheehee :) |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: reggie miles Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:51 AM Okay this inspired by Jeri's entry. The opening scene is a personnel/casting office waiting room full of past, (now out of work), various commercial advertising soft drink characters, (the guy from that 7up ad that said, "These are Un-cola nuts", a family dressed like polar bears from the Coke ad singing the I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing jingle, the dancing Dr. Pepper troop, etc) and, our heros, three young fresh looking guys dressed in fruit costumes. All are nervously practicing their old slogans trying to prepare for their turn at an interview with Squirt representatives. The camera pans the room and those in it and then stops at the three fruit guys, (Lemon, Orange and Grapefruit), who are huddled together, eyes darting about the room observing some of their competitors. The Lemon fruit guy says, "Hey, they're not bad." (Camera pans to Dr. Pepper dancers who trip and fall awkwardly from lack of practice) (then the Orange guy excitedly asks), "Is that who I think it is?" (Camera pans to a Michael Jackson character doing the moon walk). Grapefruit interrupts, "Don't worry boys, I hear we've got this one in the bag." Over a loud speaker a secretary type is heard saying "Next" which momentarily interrupts the activity in the waiting room. The fruit guys rise confidently and make their way to through a door. (Next scene shows the three in a bare room, no windows, furniture, nothing. The walls, floor and ceiling are covered in stainless steel. A panel slips over the door that they just stepped through with a "CLANG!" so as to obscure it and making the entire room look just like the inside of a stainless steel box.) Puzzled and disoriented the fruit look nervously at one another. An executive type voice, from a hidden speaker, can be heard saying, "Congratulations boys you got the job". (The three can be heard cheering with glee as a panel opens in middle of the floor to reveal a series of holes. Then a camera shot of two of the walls in the room slowly begin to move toward one another. >br>(The next scene is of a bottle of Squirt being filled in the bottling factory on the assembly line.) A narrator says, "Squirt is made with only the juices of fresh lemons, oranges and grapefruits. For a tangy thirst quenching taste treat, that can't be beat by those other soft drinks, choose an ice cold bottle of Squirt!" (Last scene is of bottles of Squirt on ice.) |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: WyoWoman Date: 30 Aug 00 - 11:08 AM Amos -- Fantastic. But it didn't have any "whoa-whoa's..." ww (Whoa-Whoa Woman) |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Kim C Date: 30 Aug 00 - 11:11 AM I swear I think I've seen this beverage at the store, unless I'm dreaming about the ad signs on the wall at Cracker Barrel. I'll look when I go out at lunch and report back later. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Burke Date: 30 Aug 00 - 11:53 AM I believe Diet Rite Cola is older than TAB. But what happened to the company's Nehi Cream Soda? |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Art Thieme Date: 30 Aug 00 - 12:09 PM Wyo Woman, That's the best Gorka impersonation I've ever heard ! Art |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Giac Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:15 PM Reggie! A 'Catter after my own heart! Wonderful, Amos, but might it go a bit over budget? Squirt is readily available here and, as a matter of fact, I have a six-pack in the fridge and a two-liter (okay, two-litre) in the cabinet.
If someone offers a cup of java,
(Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh) Giac |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:21 PM I can see the disclaimer on the cans of Squirt following the release of Mr. Miles' ad.: "No grapefruits died in the production of this product." |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Kim C Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:36 PM I forgot to look. :( |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:47 PM Amos, you're my hero!
Well I woke this morning To be continued when I get out of Art History III class. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: wysiwyg Date: 30 Aug 00 - 02:52 PM I don't think I need to actually write the copy for the action and dialog preceding and following this jingle:
For nipples that stand up sweet and pert Oooh! ~BSEG~ I am sure sales would go WAY UP.
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Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: GUEST,Bill D Date: 30 Aug 00 - 03:33 PM thisw is better than Michael Cooney doing "Nu-Grape"!!!! |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 30 Aug 00 - 04:31 PM Praise, What do we have to do to keep you out of the communion wine? Mary |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: wysiwyg Date: 30 Aug 00 - 04:42 PM Mary, That was a good one, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Someone had had me on the pedestal a little too long and I just have to hop off from time to time or I go nuts. Aw gee. Now Spaw can start with the pedestal jokes, you know, the porcelain one. Here it comes. ~S~ |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: GUEST Date: 30 Aug 00 - 05:55 PM Well, if Elizabethan works, perhaps Burns will, too. Not strictly a song, until someone works out a tune for this jingle ....
To A Squirt
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Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Bradypus Date: 30 Aug 00 - 05:59 PM Above was me - I forgot to sign it, and I lost my cookie at the same time! Bradypus |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 30 Aug 00 - 07:32 PM Bradypus, Couldn't imagine who the bard was. YUMMMM Squirt and haggis. What more could a man want? Well done. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: GUEST,khbreit Date: 30 Aug 00 - 08:24 PM What a HOOT!! I logged on to search for some obscure song lyrics...this was better (and more obscure)!! I guess I'll have to visit more often! P.S. Working on my Squirt add now...you can get it here in the store and out of vending machines...guess it still "plays in Peoria". |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: GUEST,Jeffrey Emmett Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:10 PM Yes! I remember TAB! Yelch! The other day the movie "The Stepford Wives" was on TV (oh the sheer lovely horror of it all!) and there was a line in the movie where one of the robot wives offered someone a cup of coffee. That was refused, but the guy asked for a cup of Sanka. SANKA! Now, there's an older memory! I had forgotten about that stuff, too! Jeffrey |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: katlaughing Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:22 PM Anybody have any Hai Karate Aftershave left? Or Evening In Paris parfume de toilet?" |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: SINSULL Date: 30 Aug 00 - 09:51 PM Kat, I have looked everywhere for Evening In Paris in the tiny blue bottle just to prove to myself I hadn't imagined it. Used to buy it at Woolworth's for my mother for every birthday, holiday, etc. Thanks for the vote of sanity. |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: Amos Date: 30 Aug 00 - 10:08 PM Ach, Brady, ye're steel the' maister o' t' art, isntit? |
Subject: RE: Max's Silly Song Challenge Part 1 From: WyoWoman Date: 30 Aug 00 - 11:08 PM Thanks, Art. I did that just for you. Evening in Paris? That was my sister's and my eternal gift to my mother. I should ask her if she ever even wore that stuff. It seemed to disappear, but I have no recollection of ever smelling it ON her ... When I was in high school I had a college boyfriend who gave me a vodka and Squirt once and I thought he was so-o-o-o sophisticated. (Yes, Spaw. The drink.) ww |
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