Lyr Req: Restroom Door Said Gentlemen

Subject: Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
From: Genie
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 09:31 PM

Seeking lyrics to Christmas parody "The Restroom Door Said 'Gentlemen'."

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
From: Pene Azul
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 09:39 PM

You can get the lyrics here (click).

Jeff

Subject: Lyr Add: THE RESTROOM DOOR SAID 'GENTLEMEN'
From: Pene Azul
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 09:40 PM

THE RESTROOM DOOR SAID 'GENTLEMEN'
As recorded by Bob Rivers on "Twisted Christmas"

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen' so I just walked inside.
I took two steps and realized I'd been taken for a ride.
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.
What could be worse
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse?

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'; it must have been a gag.
As soon as I walked in there, I ran into some old hag.
She sprayed me with a can of mace and sacked me with her bag.
I could tell this just wouldn't be my day.
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen' and I would like to find
The crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign,
'Cause I've got two black eyes and one high heel up my behind.
Now I can't sit in comfort and joy.
Boy, oh, boy!
Now I'll never sit in comfort and joy.

Subject: Lyr Add: GOD DAMN YOU, HARRY MENDELSON
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Dec 01 - 10:11 PM

And Genie, if you want a "home grown" one....With my best wishes:

God damn you Harry Mendelson
These pants are much too short
The cuffs don't cover up my socks
I'm sorry to report
The belt loops they are all in back
The crotch is at my knees
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you!

God damn you Harry Mendelson
This vest's a total wreck
You've cut it wrong its plain to see
It buttons to my neck!
The fourteen buttons don't line up
With eleven buttonholes
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you

God damn you Harry Mendelson
The coat is all wrong too
One lapel is bright red plaid
The other pinstripe blue
The left sleeve covers up my hand
The right one isn't there
What a miserable tailor are you
You sunnavabitch
What a miserable tailor are you

Merry Christmas!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
From: Genie
Date: 05 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM

Thanks, Jeff!

You, too, 'Spaw!

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Restroom Door Said Gentlemen
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 01 - 01:56 AM

Now I'm in here, the door has closed, And every thing seems wrong. There are things inside this room, That somehow, don't belong Oh God, I feel so embarrassed, I've not done this before, I have entered the wrong cloakroom door;

This is the ladies; I'm a man! Where are you supposed to stand?

Tune "You're a lady, I'm a man" by Peter Skellern

It never actually gets any further, the audience are usually in hysterics by now…

As sung by Richard Stilgoe......

LTS