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BS: facial hair and long term romance
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Subject: facial hair and long term romance From: JedMarum Date: 05 Oct 99 - 11:58 PM after 29 years of essentially clean shaven marriage, I have grown a mustache and goatee ... it was just a lark at first, but now I like it. Trouble is my wife has not yet adjusted to the new whiskered kisses! I thought such a cultured, wise and experienced group, such as the Mudcatters are ... I could find some words of advice here ... ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Nikkie Date: 06 Oct 99 - 02:33 AM My hubby recently went the other - 10 years with a moustache and goatee and now there gone! It was really hard to get used to at first, but I did. You don't want to cause any friction between yourselves and if you like it, it should stay. What about a compromise? No moustache and a little, narrow goatee? Given time, you can get used to anything! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 06 Oct 99 - 03:07 AM Facial hair a problem in romance? Ask Helen--her love Bruce would fit right into Z. Z. Top and you don't hear her complaining. --seed |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Roger the skiffler Date: 06 Oct 99 - 04:32 AM The only time I grew a beard & moustache was in my late teens when I got chickenpox and couldn't shave. The resulting strange mix of colours decided me to remain clean-shaven. However I did have rather large sideboards (sideburns) for years (think Noddy Holder UK 'Catters!). However she-who-must-be-obeyed, who is also my home barber, decided the "superannuated teddy boy" (her description) look had to go, and it went. I don't think our love life suffered under either regime! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Lady McMoo Date: 06 Oct 99 - 04:35 AM Grew a moustache and goatee myself after 21 years marriage. After some initial concerns during the "sprouting phase" my wife now likes it! In the clean shaven "business environment" I think people still view me as something of an oddity (not sure it's just the facial hair!) but have accepted it. (Now...I wonder if I could get away with a ponytail as well...?) mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: roopoo Date: 06 Oct 99 - 05:22 AM Took me 10 years to nag my old man into growing a beard. He's now had one for 16 years! Still working on the ponytail. Early days yet: it's only been about 3 years since I started on him. mouldy |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Little Neophyte Date: 06 Oct 99 - 07:04 AM I think Nikkie's right Liam, eventually your wife will get use to it. Personally I find during the act of cuddling, night shadow brissles causes more friction than the 'srouting phase' that mcmoo was talking about. My face gets all red and irritated from kissing a guy with brissles. Keep on growing that thing Liam, I bet you'll look gorgeous! Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: bill\sables Date: 06 Oct 99 - 07:11 AM I once grew a beard about 28 years ago when I was married for three years. Lorna,my wife liked it, she said it was better than having just not shaved and having a chin like sandpaper. I have never shaved since and am still married and I must have saved a fortune in time and razor blades. Cheers Bill |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Banjer Date: 06 Oct 99 - 07:15 AM I've had my beard so long I can't remember not having one. When folks ask me how long I've had my beard I tell them I was born with it, the doctor was amused, and it tickled the heck out of Mom! If I shaved it off no one would recognize me, myself included.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Helen Date: 06 Oct 99 - 07:32 AM seed, ZZ-Top - I love it. A tough talking union rep for outdoor workers (construction crews etc) I knew for years suddenly decided to shave off his beard. He looked so baby-faced no-one could take him seriously so he had to grow it back. He really looked totally different - it seemed to change his personality in some way. I agree with the general sentiment that the sandpaper effect of a clean-shave-turned-five-o'clock-shadow is much much worse than a beard and moustache. I like men with beards and moustaches anyway - wouldn't be a folkie if I didn't I suppose. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Vixen Date: 06 Oct 99 - 07:37 AM Well-- Here's $0.02 from another direction...should I let my mustache grow? or continue to shave? V |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Oct 99 - 08:08 AM Well this one's wide open ain't it? LMAO!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: MudGuard Date: 06 Oct 99 - 08:18 AM My 0,02 € (for all non-Euro-country-readers: 0,01 &euro = 1 cent): if you don't tell your wife how she has to cut her hair, she should not tell you how you have to cut yours! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: MudGuard Date: 06 Oct 99 - 08:19 AM D**n, I forgot the ; after the second &euro, that should be € ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: roopoo Date: 06 Oct 99 - 09:47 AM I have nightmares about my husband shaving his beard off. Last time he was clean shaven it was balanced by at least half a head of hair! Besides, our youngest has never seen the bottom half of her dad's face and would probably freak! - mouldy |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Art Thieme Date: 06 Oct 99 - 10:23 AM I've had a beard or a moustache for all the 32 years Carol & I have been married. I first grew a moustache 'cause I hoped it'd make me look like Cisco Houston. It didn't. I was 19 then. For various reasons around 1985 or so I shaved. It was to, as they say in Step Four, "get face to face with myself". Didn't like what I saw. Too many chins. So I grew it back... And that has made all the difference. Love, Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Magpie Date: 06 Oct 99 - 10:37 AM Vixen, I like it! When you figure it out, let me know, 'cause I've been wondering too. My boyfriend keeps complaining about whisker burns, but I don't know what my eight-year-old son would say if I let it grow. Magpie |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Lady McMoo Date: 06 Oct 99 - 11:38 AM Once, on a trip home to Ireland after having shaved my beard and moustache off, I was was told "ye'v ruin'd yersilf...!" by an attractive young lady I'd met the year before. Needless to say I've been hirsute since! mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: MMario Date: 06 Oct 99 - 11:46 AM A few years ago when I first started doing a Dicken's theatre piece in the winter, I shaved off the goatee and went to mutton chop sideburns. When a friend saw it, her only comment was "A Naked Chin on a man is WRONG. That's all" |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Lady McMoo Date: 06 Oct 99 - 11:58 AM Besides it gives Mrs mcmoo something to grab hold of while berating me! (:o<)> |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: sophocleese Date: 06 Oct 99 - 12:27 PM After having long hair then short hair then medium length hair I finally tried a mohawk about 5 years ago. I liked it, my husband thought it was fun at first but then said he was waiting for it to grow back. I finally got bored of spending the time shaving my head when I had rebelled against the wasted time shaving my legs. I now have long hair again. What astonished me when I had shaved my head was the number of male relatives who regularly shaved you wanted to feel my head. I didn't think it would be that different from their chins. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Ely Date: 06 Oct 99 - 12:52 PM My father grew a beard to protect himself from bugs while doing graduate field work 30 years ago and has had one ever since. He had to shave it off one time to wear a gas mask and it disturbed my mother so much she couldn't talk to him till it grew back. I had about the same reaction when my pal Nate shaved this past spring. I survived the loss of his eighteen-inch ponytail, but the lack of beard was just weird (he later gave up and grew it back, much to my relief). I don't know . . . I've always preferred fuzzy chins. I don't think it's a "manliness" thing so much as a comfort thing, since I grew up around so many bearded men. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Easy Rider Date: 06 Oct 99 - 01:40 PM I have not shaved, since the Summer of 1967 (I was 19) (see my pictures, on bbc's "resources" page.). My wife has NEVER seen my bare, round baby face, with dimples, except in my high school yearbook! I disliked shaving; it irritated my sensative throat skin, and I wanted to look older and be a hippie anyway. YOU don't GROW a beard. You're a MAN, so IT GROWS. The whole point of not shaving is NOT SHAVING ANYWHERE ON YOUR FACE. The heck with goatees (you're not a goat!) or handlebar moustaches (You're not a bicycle!). They're too much trouble to maintain. If you shave anywhere, then you HAVE TO shave, every day, or people notice. If you don't shave, then nobody notices. Beards are low maintenance. You have less stuf to carry, when you travel too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Allan C. Date: 06 Oct 99 - 01:46 PM I grew my first beard in '72. My first wife met me after it was about two weeks in progress. About three years later, she was at work, (waitressing) and I suddenly decided to shave all but the mustache. Then I went to the restaurant where she worked. She grabbed a menu and showed me to a table. It wasn't until she recognized my shirt that she figured out who I was. She took a good look and told me to "Cover it back up!" which I did. One daughter, another wife, and another daughter later, I decided to shave the whole thing off. Since neither daughter nor my new wife had ever seen me without a beard, I thought it would be a good idea (especially for the youngest daughter) for them all to gather around as I shaved. I still think it was a good idea. After less than three months of scraping my face every day, I again grew a beard.
This one I kept until about seven years ago. Sometime shortly after my second divorce, I again shaved.
Until recently, my girlfriend of the past six years had never seen me with a beard. I started it in June and by now it is doing quite well. Funny that in all the years of having one, nobody had ever complained about it. But Kathy says the short hairs, where I trim around my mouth, stab her. I began to think she was going to stop kissing me altogether. Wow! Then it was going to come down to either being kissed or having a beard! Fortunately, Kathy has decided that it doesn't stick her all that much and only if I hold my head just so. So I guess all is well. --Well almost. She is VERY ticklish! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: BeauDangles Date: 06 Oct 99 - 02:28 PM I have had a beard almost continuously since 1986. There was a time in college when I accidentally jiggled my hand while trimming it, so I had to shave it off (the beard, not my hand). I kept the moustache, but it looked so ridiculous I got rid of that and immediately started growing it all again. In the Summer of 1998 I went away to a dance camp and was also going to visit a friend that I have had this miserable unrequited thing for. She had said in passing once that she would never date a man with facial hair. So, what did dufus here do? That's right, I valiantly compromised my principals for the sake of love (or some reasonable facsimile thereof) and shaved it all off. Of course, I instantly regretted it. The face that stared back at me from the mirror was that of a total stranger. It was pale and fleshy, and had the sort of vaguely surprised, deer-in-the-onrushing-headlights look that one normally associates with the formally living. My upper lip seemed to stetch on into infinity like some vast, endless coastal plain. It was broad enough and, were it not for the two grotesque speed bumps right beneath my nose, wide enough to land a single engine plane on. Looking into the sink at the pitiful remnants of my manhood, I was overcome with an cold, unrelenting despair. But I reminded myself that it was for a good cause--the best cause: true love (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Besides, part of me felt as though I was hiding behind the hair. Now there was nothing between me and the rest of the world, not even Calvin Kline. So firmed up my resolve and embarked on my Date With Destiny. Seven hours later, as a glorious, full Hunter's Moon rose over the Blue Ridge Mountains, I pulled into the parking lot of The Old Farmers Ball. Light and music spilled out of the hall in equal measure. Like the Moon, I felt radiant, and rife with potential. (Also, like the moon, my face felt huge and pale and round.) I found my friend and we embraced. I greeted her warmly, all the while putting what I desparately hoped was my best face forward. However, it soon became apparent that she had not even noticed my new/old face. Outside, I heard a distinct "pop!", followed by a long, drawn out hissing sound-- almost a sigh-- as the Moon slowly deflated and draped itself over the Blue Ridge Mountains like an old, discarded "Get Well Soon" balloon. The end BeauD |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: emily rain Date: 06 Oct 99 - 04:25 PM vixen, the summer after my first year in college, i decided to find out just how long those chin hairs would grow if i allowed them to. i discovered they have indeterminate growth, and by august i was looking like a japanese wiseman. plus i couldn't stop myself from fiddling with them... i've shaved ever since. it takes about two seconds, and i save SO much time in explaining to nosey strangers. leg hair i trim to 3/4 inch. : ) |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Little Neophyte Date: 06 Oct 99 - 04:37 PM Very sad story BeauD, a painful but important lesson. Personally, for myself, I use Neet, it does the job beautifully. I suggest you men pair up. One shaves off the beard smooth while the other shaves and grows shadow bristles. Start necking and you'll see what us gals are talking about. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: MAG (inactive) Date: 06 Oct 99 - 05:40 PM Yeah, grown-out beards are soft and not scratchy. Moustaches can be a different thing; if you've got one, make sure it's clean and dry before you go kissing somebody, otherwise it's as yuck as a too-wet tongue in the ear. My .02. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Uilleand Date: 06 Oct 99 - 05:50 PM An attractive man to me is a man who feels comfortable and attractive the way he looks, be that with facial hair or without. The energy of someone who's at ease with themselves and their appearance far outways any physical aspects. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Date: 06 Oct 99 - 06:10 PM My husband had a beard when we met, and i'd never seen him without until he had it shaved off for charity a few years ago. It had the desired effect in that he raised about £200 for Children in Need(big UK childrens moneyraiser) but he looked so dirrerent (weird!) without it that pressure was instantly brought to bear for its regrowth! He says "not weird but soon regrew it - took too long to shave twice a day!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Neil Lowe Date: 07 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM The branch of the military I was in frowned upon beards. A tech school instructor (who moonlighted as a jazz musician, wouldn't you know) made an astute observation. He told us, "You know, the military is strange. On the one hand they make you guys cut your hair short so as to not be identified with women, then they make you scrape all the hair off your face to resemble a woman's. If they wanted you to be recognized as men, they should let you grow full beards." Pretty radical stuff coming from a military instructor. What was he trying to do, foment insurrection amongst the troops? Maybe he'd been passed over for promotion. It was one of many ironies that had me agreeing with him before long that, yes, the military was indeed strange. Regards, Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Helen Date: 07 Oct 99 - 07:51 PM BeauD, That description is what I was lamely trying to say about my tough union rep friend, but your way with words is just amazing: "The face that stared back at me from the mirror was that of a total stranger. It was pale and fleshy, and had the sort of vaguely surprised, deer-in-the-onrushing-headlights look that one normally associates with the formally living." The other problem in places like Oz is that the unbearded part of the face is usually mildly to majorly suntanned, (depending on the time of year and on how much the person spends outdoors) so when a man shaves off his beard the previously bearded section looks pale and baby-faced because it has been protected from the sun for a number of years. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: bbc Date: 07 Oct 99 - 08:48 PM I've always been attracted to men w/ facial hair. I will, also, agree w/ the previous postings about kissing comfort being better w/ bearded than shaven men. However, people have different tastes. Perhaps by this time, your new beard has grown out enough that it is soft & you are kissable once more? If not, have your wife email the Mudcat women & we'll reassure her. The only problem I have is when Duane trims his moustache. We deal w/ it. :) bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Mbo Date: 07 Oct 99 - 09:15 PM I've had my moustache since I was 14 and my goatee since I was 18. My mother & sisters used to tell me "your moustache looks wimpy! If you shave it off and leave it off for a while it will grow back better." I treasured my moustache I said I would not shave it --although I did a while afterwards, but not for long. Since I was 14, the maximum amount of time I've clear shaved is 3 weeks. A few years ago I thought the goatee would be cool (NOT because everyone else had one) and my family still goes "Wow! Look at Matthew when you could see his chin!" when they look at pre-goatee pictures of me. Right now I'm working on "connectors" as I call them -- those little hair between the moustache and the goatee that make It one. They are about half way there, but one is higher than the other, so I'm lopsided. The full beard is definately out of the question. I like really short hair on my head (a high & tight) and no hair on my cheeks! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Tom on Comfort Date: 07 Oct 99 - 11:33 PM I remember Minnie Pearl talking about kissing men with facial hair, explaining, "I never minded crashing through the brush to get to a picnic." |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Margo Date: 08 Oct 99 - 08:40 PM In regards to moustaches:
You keep it well trimmed: You have prickery kisses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: annamill Date: 08 Oct 99 - 09:00 PM When I first saw this thread all I could think of (which is why I haven't posted), was, I guess it depends on who has the facial hair, the man or the woman. I'm sorry ;-) I'm just giddy from listening to this wonderful, wonderful, happy instument, (right now its, Oh dat golden slipper) and tomorrow. L.,A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Big Mick Date: 12 Oct 99 - 03:07 PM I have had a beard or Van Dyke since 1970. Once when my two older daughters were 4 and 2 (19 years ago......shit, but time flies), I decided to shave it off and had them watch me. They were fascinated, sat like to little cherubs with their chins in their hands and their gorgeous little foreheads creased as they pondered what was happening. When I was done and wiped the last of the shave cream off my face, Cass (the oldest) sat up, raised her little eyebrows and said, "Dad, you got cheeks" All the best, Big Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: JedMarum Date: 13 Oct 99 - 08:32 AM great story Big Mick. My kids are grown, so when I grew my my goatee and mustache, they were already used to my clean shaven face ... they love the beard. Now ... if I could just get my wife used to it, I'd be a happy man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: kendall Date: 13 Oct 99 - 12:49 PM I had a full beard and 'stasch for 20 years. At first, my wife said "Why cultivate on your face what grows wild on your arse?" I kept the beard and lost her. Now, I shaved it all off and folks say I look 20 years younger. Thats important when you get to be my age. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: northfolk/al cholger Date: 13 Oct 99 - 02:34 PM Mick, I had a similar experience, grew a beard in the mid seventies, about the time my sons were born. Then in 1984 became president of my local...thought I'd clean up my act a little...just the beard...and kept a walrus mustache. I walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with, "hi, uncle Dave", quit shaving ever since. and, emily rain, If I could get a note from home i'd say I lust for you , you shaggy creature.... but I can't so I won't. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: bbelle Date: 13 Oct 99 - 04:24 PM I grew up believing everyone's daddy had hair on their face but not too much on the top of their head. As all the Getaway mudcatters now know, head-hair is not an all-important issue for me, however, at the getaway I saw some great beards and hair, e.g., Big Mick, Songster Bob, Allan C, Bert, BillD, Jeri (no beard), etc. I have to admit that Big Mick's red hair and beard fairly made me swoon! So, from a personal standpoint, I love men with beards, prickly or otherwise, but being comfortable in one's own skin is what makes the difference ... hair or no hair. I've grown my hair long and when it reaches the point of taking on its own personality (kinky, curly, crinkly, coarse, thick, unruly) the comment I hear most often is "I liked your hair better really short, it suits your personality." moonchild |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: JedMarum Date: 14 Oct 99 - 05:47 PM Best quote in the thread; "Why cultivate on your face what grows wild on your arse?" Thanks Kendall! Great Stuff lad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Slider Date: 14 Oct 99 - 10:08 PM I've had a moustache for over 25 years and a beard for a little less than 20. My wife has never seen me without facial hair. Back when I had just the "cookie duster", My wife would on occasion lay her index finger under my nose and stare at me. The first time she did this I wasn't sure of her intentions, but I knew something was on her mind. After a second or two I asked what she was up to."Oh ,I was just wondering what you looked like clean shaven!" Of course all she saw was what I looked like with a finger under my nose. I've thought about shaving it all off, but I'm afraid that she and the cat would run off screaming into the night. All of this reminds me of a bit of verse that my wife learned as a child(from God knows where!): Grandma had a habit of chewing in her sleep. She chewed on Grandpas' whiskers and dreamed of Shredded Wheat! best wishes to all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Vixen Date: 15 Oct 99 - 09:06 AM Dear Slider-- The song you quote is "Grandpa's Whiskers," and it's in the DT. It was one of the first songs I looked up here when I was still a lurker, and one of my favorites. Your wife might like to have copy! V |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Bugsy Date: 15 Oct 99 - 09:48 PM I've had a beard for over 25 years - my wife Annie says that if IT goes SHE goes!! IT STAYS! Bugsy |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: JedMarum Date: 14 Aug 01 - 09:03 AM I've found an additional, unintended advantage to having a bit of facial hair; sporting a mustache/goatee on a regular basis makes it much easier for me to skip a day or several shaving the rest of my face! The few day old stubble only compliments the 'cultivated' stuff!
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: UB Ed Date: 14 Aug 01 - 09:54 AM Jed, lots of good opinions here. The only one that's relevant is your wife's... |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: JedMarum Date: 14 Aug 01 - 10:13 AM LOL, Ed. Very true! |
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Subject: RE: BS: facial hair and long term romance From: Kim C Date: 14 Aug 01 - 10:22 AM I wasn't around when this thread originated, so here's my two cents. Mister has been whiskered and unwhiskered and I like him both ways. I told him he could grow a beard or not as he chose, since it's his face. We generally do not tell one another how to dress, etc. What I did clearly relate, however, is that a comb-over is grounds for divorce. ;-) |