Results of Mudcat Study Released

Subject: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: GUEST,Made Ya Look
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:39 PM

STUDY FINDS YOU REALLY DON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE In Grand Scheme of Things, Your Hard Work, Diligence, Found to Mean Squat

London, England (SatireWire.com) — In an unprecedented study, British and American researchers have concluded that despite what you've been told at Mudcat, you really don't make a difference, and are not remotely integral to DT & the Mudcat Forum's success.

"In our research, we found that you've been encouraged to believe that your hard work and contributions are substantial, and that you are a significant member of the Mudcat community. But what we discovered is that in the members' particular case, there's no way," said Neil Romsby of the London School of Economics.

In the study, jointly conducted by the LSE and Stanford University's Business School, researchers interviewed Mudcat leaders and colleagues, and uncovered a variety of slogans meant to boost members' sense of worth, such as "Our members are our greatest asset," and, "Our value is in our community."

"We're not necessarily saying these platitudes are all lies," said Stanford economics professor Harold Bloom. "We're just saying they have nothing to do with actual Mudcat members."

"That may seem sad," Bloom noted, "but it's actually rather funny because their situation is quite obvious to everyone else."

Romsby added that it's also ironic. "When you tell Max, Dick & Susan they are doing a good job, you know you are lying, but when they tell you the same thing, you actually believe it. That's priceless."

Researchers concede the study may be difficult to accept —even though your anonymous guest colleagues insist it shouldn't really be a surprise — but suggest you begin by substituting the word meaningless for important whenever Max, Pene, Joe Offer, or the Joe Clones speak to you. For example: "Bunny Foo Foo, this is a really meaningless song harvesting collection project and I think you can make some meaningless contributions as a meaningless member of the team." Once you feel comfortable with that, Bloom added, substitute the word "shitty" for "meaningless," and you'll have a pretty good sense of where you stand.

In another finding, researchers also learned that contrary to Mudcat's public relations claims, Mudcat/DT is not really "creating an updated version" or "improving features of the forum." This, Romsby explained, is actually good news for you.

"By failing to make a difference at a place that also doesn't make a difference, at least you're not really hurting anybody," he said.

Credit due to SatireWire.com 2001, from whom I stole and edited to fit, just like the DT does.

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:52 PM

Fuck it man... it's just Chinatown...

.-)

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:56 PM

Very funny. It's from THIS GENERIC ITEM.

Apparently it applies most accurately to people trying to pressure Mudcatters about how to be Mudcatters, such as with threads like this one.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:03 PM

Like trying to define Canadian Identity eh WYSIWYG? No one knows for certain, but we know each other when we see us eh!

LOL!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: GUEST,DharmaPeelersHQ
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:08 PM

And the following karma violation citations were issued to all Mudcat members as well:

| | 01.06 | Conceited, Snobbish, Humorless, Petty, & Self-Important

| | 02.03 | Blindly Self-Serving & Self-Obsessed

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: M.Ted
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:40 PM

At least you could have lifted something that was actually funny--

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:57 PM

Well, it makes a difference to me, so that makes it ok. Because we all know that the universe revolves around me and my needs.

Subject: RE: Results of Mudcat Study Released
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:19 PM

A very wise man once said that the umbilicus is the centre of the universe. So just keep gazing at them thar navels guys.*****Failte.....Giok