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BS: Does anybody know good riddles?
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Subject: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nevada Date: 25 Sep 02 - 11:46 AM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'Hi everyone! I wonder if anybody can help me. Riddles seem to be "The Thing" at the moment. Unfortunately, I've used all mine up. Does anyone know any good ones? Luv Emz x |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 25 Sep 02 - 11:54 AM "What will go 'up a chimney down', but not 'down a chimney up' ?
An Umbrella |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST Date: 25 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM The good ones are all 'bad'. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST Date: 25 Sep 02 - 12:01 PM Quite a few here |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: IanC Date: 25 Sep 02 - 12:22 PM On the basis that the old ones are the best, here's a whole load of very old ones indeed.
Cheers! |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: IanC Date: 25 Sep 02 - 12:31 PM Sorry ... forgot you might want them in translation here they are in English. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: allanwill Date: 25 Sep 02 - 12:45 PM I think I've posted this one before, but I think it's brilliant. What do you call an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night wondering whether there really is a DOG. (boy, it's a slow old night at work tonight!) Allan |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:05 PM IanC, 'The Anglo-Saxon Riddles of the Exeter Book' where the riddles were translated into modern English, was edited by Paull F. Buam, and published in 1963. There are in addition others in Henry A. Person's 'Cambridge Middle English Lyrics', 1962. Many of these ancient riddles were reprinted in 'riddle' chapbooks, and books of miscellaneous poetry in the 17th and 18th century, and a few have been collected by folklorists in the 2nd half of the 20th century. There are a couple of songs in 'Pills to Purge Melancholy' that string some together and add new material to form songs. A few are given near the end of the Scarce Songs 1 file at www.erols.com/olsonw |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mr Red Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:43 PM My maternal Grandmother used to tell this one Riddle me, riddle me roat te tote. I saw a man in a red coat, a stick in his hand, a stone in his throt. Riddle me, riddle me roat te tote. and one from the Shakespearian era (that's easy for you to say!) "What walketh upon four legs at morning, on two in the afternoon, and three of the night?" Bill Shake schollars will correct me upon my 17thC West Country Mumerset. How do you keep an idiot in suspense. all answers tomorrow! ***BG*** |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Schantieman Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:45 PM My six-year old came up with this one: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A p-i-i-i-g.
Have to say it, really! |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Schantieman Date: 25 Sep 02 - 01:48 PM A pig with no eyes (or possibly 'I's), is a pg, of course, and then we get into deer with no eyes and possibly no legs either. (no idea and still no idea, just in case someone's never heard them!) |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,kendall Date: 25 Sep 02 - 03:02 PM Two thirds of a cross, and a circle complete; two semi-circles with an upright to meet. A right angle triangle stands on its feet, two semi-circles and a circle complete. It spells a common word. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Joe_F Date: 25 Sep 02 - 07:50 PM ObSongs: What has six eyes, but can't see? |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Joe_F Date: 25 Sep 02 - 07:50 PM Three blind mice. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: kendall Date: 25 Sep 02 - 09:46 PM Mr. Red, I believe that is the riddle of the Sphynx. The answer is man. a baby, an adult, then an old man. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: khandu Date: 25 Sep 02 - 10:19 PM 1. What are the words to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"? 2. Can Dylan really sing? 3. Are Mark Knopler and Tom Petty the bastard sons of Dylan? Answers: 1. Who knows? Who cares? 2. Who knows? 3. They look and sound like it. A bored khandu |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: mack/misophist Date: 25 Sep 02 - 11:35 PM My favourite is from Alice in Wonderland. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" It's odd that so few have seen the answer in the next volume: "Neither has many notes and they're all flat". |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,adavis@truman.edu Date: 26 Sep 02 - 12:22 AM Three kinds of riddles: the modern anglo-american tend to be jokes, and there are also brain-teasers or puzzles. In most societies, it's a kind of wisdom literature -- a proverb put into puzzle-form. Two interesting ones from Venda (African) tribal collection by Ian Blackling: Q: What eats with its asshole and shits death at its mouth? A: The white man's gun (breech-loader) Q: We get rid of it, but the white man wraps it in precious silk and saves it. A: Snot. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie Date: 26 Sep 02 - 07:02 AM There are some good riddles of the classical sort in "Te Hobbitt", when Bilbo meets Gollum., but I don't remember them well enough to write them here.
Mr. Red: Kendall: T-O-B-A-C-C-O ? Going down a little boreen, I met my auntie Noreen. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mr Red Date: 26 Sep 02 - 07:18 AM kendall that's what you Sphinx **BG*** but correct. Crazy Eddie Cherry and it's red. now how many beans make five? |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: The Walrus at work Date: 26 Sep 02 - 08:31 AM Mr Red, "...now how many beans make five?..." Two beans, two half beans, a bean and a half and half a bean. Walrus |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: kendall Date: 26 Sep 02 - 09:03 AM Tobacco is right. |
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Subject: RE: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Frivolous Sal Date: 26 Sep 02 - 02:43 PM How do You get the guitar players to stop playing? How do you get the guitar player to leave your porch? Who hangs out with musicians? What's the difference between a saxophone and a chain saw? Where can you find a dog with no legs? What is the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mr Red Date: 26 Sep 02 - 07:13 PM Bean, half a bean, bean and a half and two bean. I think you have some jumping beans there Walrus. I have heard other versions, more to the point how many permutations (or is it combinations) ignoring re-ordered ones can you have? Now the person who comes up with that number (and the proof) really does know "how many beans make five" (metaphorical meaning). I just had a though (really is a light going-on jobbie) but is not the lightbulb joke not a modern version of the riddle. Soundbite in length - true. But a deeper insight into aspects of our culture and commerce and how we see aspects of it than the traditional riddle discuss..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Helen Date: 26 Sep 02 - 09:30 PM Q. What happens when a duck flies upside down?
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mark Cohen Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:52 AM My college roommate remembered this riddle but not the answer: How are a Swiss admiral and a stomach pump alike? After 30+ years I still haven't figured it out. Anybody? Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 27 Sep 02 - 08:01 AM Mark Cohen: are they both working with a vacuum ? Helen: when a duck flies upside-down it "Quacks up" Mehitabel:A dog with no legs can be found wherever you left him: and The difference between mashed potatoes & pea soup is that I've mashed potatoes, but never been known to Pee soup! Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Raedwulf Date: 27 Sep 02 - 09:01 AM Who hangs out with musicians? This (& the proceeding ones about guitarists) sound more like anti-one-particular-instrument jokes, rather than proper riddles. "A Drummer" is surely the answer... What's the difference between a saxophone and a chain saw? Ditto to this one. At a complete guess, "You can cut down trees with a chain saw, with a sax it just sounds like you're trying..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Raedwulf Date: 27 Sep 02 - 09:28 AM One of two of my particular favourites from the Exeter Book of Riddles (the A/S ones that IanC gave you a link for above) Swings by his thigh / a thing most magical! Below the belt / beneath the folds Of his clothes it hangs / a hole in its front end, stiff-set and stout / it swivels about. Levelling the head / of this hanging tool, its wielder hoists his hem / above his knee; it is his will to fill / a well-known hole that it fits fully / when at full length He's oft filled it before. / Now he fills it again... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Raedwulf Date: 27 Sep 02 - 09:32 AM Sorry for the rapid double post, I've just found the other one. I didn't realise I had an e-copy! I'm the world's wonder, for I make women happy --a boon to the neighborhood, a bane to no one, though I may perhaps prick the one who picks me. I am set well up, stand in a bed, have a roughish root. Rarely (though it happens) a churl's daughter more daring than the rest --and lovelier! --lays hold of me, and lays me in larder. She learns soon enough, the curly-haired creature who clamps me so, of my meeting with her: moist is her eye! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Jimmy C Date: 27 Sep 02 - 12:55 PM If I told you that I was a COMPULSIVE LIAR, would you believe me . ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Jimmy C Date: 27 Sep 02 - 12:56 PM If I told you that I was a COMPULSIVE LIAR, would you believe me . ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Frivolous Sal Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:38 PM You are right-some of these are musician of choice. I am sorry thhey are not proper riddles. How do You get the guitar players to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of them How do you get the guitar player to leave your porch? Pay him for the pizza Who hangs out with musicians? Drummers What's the difference between a saxophone and a chain saw? Vibratto Where can you find a dog with no legs? where you left him
What is the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Frivolous Sal Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:49 PM In my father's day (abt 1917) there were popular jokes going around of a type I have not seen since. I suspect they were quite risque in the time period. What is the difference between a cart horse & a war horse? A war horse darts into the fray What is the difference between a man in church and a man in the bathtub? When a man is in church, his soul is full of hope. These are the only 2 I remember from the ones he told me (and not until he was quite old - he would have thought them scandalous.) I would love it if anyone knows more of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,Boab Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:13 AM The difference between "Humour" and "odour"?---Humour is a shaft of wit..... [One from my pal Johnny---] Whit's the difference between a duck?---Yin o' its legs is baith the same! [ Oh gawd!!!!!!] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mark Cohen Date: 28 Sep 02 - 03:54 AM I learned that one as: What's the difference between a stove? The more you polish it, it turns. Nigel: I think you're onto something, but it doesn't seem quite clever enough. I suspect it may be of the "soul is full of hope" variety. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 28 Sep 02 - 05:38 PM Mark: if it is going to be a pun (allowing for the fact that the Swiss Navy have much in common with the Romney Marsh Mountain Rescue Team) then it will probably turn on the word Naval/navel Although he hasn't given the answers, Raedwulf appears to be lowering the tone, but I'm sure I can match it.
1, What's long and thin, 2, What goes in dry, comes out wet, and satisfies two people ?
3, What's long and thin, slightly greasy, Nigel
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: CraigS Date: 28 Sep 02 - 07:27 PM Let's see who knows the difference between a) A new penny and the river Mersey b) a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy c) a trapeze and a policeman's truncheon? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Helen Date: 28 Sep 02 - 08:32 PM I can't remember this one exactly, but: What's the difference between a goldfish(?) and a goat? Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Joe_F Date: 29 Sep 02 - 01:02 AM One log has nine holes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,Boab Date: 29 Sep 02 - 02:48 AM "Saw a fight today between a rabbit and a pofer" "What the hell's a pofer?" "Pissing in!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 29 Sep 02 - 08:37 AM Craig S: (c) One's for cunning stunts! Helen: A goldfish mucks about in the fountains!
My three were not a risqué as they possibly appeared,: Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 29 Sep 02 - 08:44 AM Craig S: The fisherman Baits his hooks; whilst the schoolboy hates his books. The new penny is shiney bright; whilst the Mersey is Briney (salty)! Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Joe_F Date: 29 Sep 02 - 06:36 PM What four-letter word, ending in K, signifies the most important form of marital intercourse? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Helen Date: 29 Sep 02 - 07:51 PM Clever Nigel! Knows the answers to my riddles and fools everyone with his double-entendres. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: GUEST,Boab Date: 30 Sep 02 - 02:09 AM Joe F---Wedlock? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Bullfrog Jones Date: 30 Sep 02 - 09:11 AM One for football (soccer) fans: Sunderland did it in 1979, Villa did it in 1981. Who did it in 1980? BJ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Raedwulf Date: 30 Sep 02 - 01:12 PM Since everyone seems to have given up on mine. Nigel - you've got a mucky mind. How you could have imagined that the answers were anything other than 'a key' & 'an onion' respectively, I do not know... *BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Joe_F Date: 30 Sep 02 - 04:27 PM Talk. What plays by Shakespeare might be abbreviated as follows? Dry Wet 3" 6" 9" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Does anybody know good riddles? From: Mr Red Date: 30 Sep 02 - 07:05 PM Q What do you call a colony of goats A A Billy Colony Raedwulf three gold star for the most traditional riddle - that one has a lineage back to Saxon times. Now do you have it in Anglo-Saxon? |