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Campsite at Drumcree III
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Mrs Clannad Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:40 AM Mrs Bowyer! Wasn't that just lovely! I'll bet Mrs O'Connor's very proud of Sinéad! I think she's lovely looking as well. And she knows a good song when she hears one. Diz the jab properly. Know what I mane? Wish our Enya had the same ear for music ... instead of all that glipin' about wi' waterfalls and dolhins and whales! Anyways ... are you up for a cup of tea? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Brendan Bowyer's Ma Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:43 AM I will not, thank you very much, Mrs Clannad. But I've got an ingrowing hair at the minute and it's murder for me, so it is! And if I take a cup of tea, or a line of whizz or a cappucino or any oul' stimulant, it's like twistin' a knife so it is! And as for sittin' down! I've to sleep on my stummick, Mrs Clannad! What do you think o' that?! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,The Pope's Ma Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:01 PM Here that was quare singin' from that wee skinny fella way the baldie head. I'm tellin' ye I have a drooth on me. I could quare go a wee drap in me hand if you have the kettle on missus. Here now A've been on the road since the screagh lookin' for our JP. Honest to Jaysus that lad'll be the death o' me. If he's not here he's there, jumpin' aff planes and kissin' the carpark. Christ knows where he gets his ideas from.
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Sinéad O'Connor Date: 07 Feb 02 - 04:22 AM Is thon the Pope's Ma down there? Jaysus … I'm sorry I tore your fella's pixture up on stage thon time in Americkey. I was off my head on Night Nurse and Mundies. (Thon Enya one gave it to me in a big pint glass … sez she has a sloat o' it every night before she goes on stage!) Anyway … you mind thon song I did with the Chieftains? "The Foggy Dew". Here's the update … "The Swaggerin' Billy Crew". As I came down to Portydown one 12th day of July Red, white and blue were the kerbs to view and proudly the flags did fly And from the village of Magheralin, orangemen came hurryin' through To take a stroll up Garvaghy Road with the swaggerin' Billy crew From boul' Richill, those men of Bill, all decked out in gloves, snow-white Came milling along for to join the throng to pay homage to thon big oul' fight That was fought of late in the Free State between two foreign kings of old Whoever'd have won, sure we'd all have been done and down the River Boyne been sold As home we crawled, we wept and bawled cos they said that we couldn't march And we gathered there in Waringstown square underneath our Orange arch And we played our flutes in our Billy suits but the tunes has a deathly hue And they cast a pall over one and all of the swaggerin' Billy crew |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Arty McGlynn Date: 07 Feb 02 - 05:00 AM Liam ... I don't suppose you kep' a note of the tunes thon Potydown boys was playin' at thon oul' session las' night?
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Liam Óg O'Flynn Date: 07 Feb 02 - 05:02 AM I have indeed Arty. I made a wee note as they went along. Reels – The Preacher's Spittle/The Confrontation/The Loyal Order Jigs – The Stand-Off/The Molotov/The Fenian Neighbours Reels – The Crew-Cut/The Beer-Gut/The Bristlin' Moustache/Shillington Bridge/The Pride Of The Birches Reels – The Bitter Flute/The Triumphalist Reel/The Boys of Gilpinstown I'm away home now to learn them!
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Donal Lunny Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:25 AM Hi Liam, Before you go, tell us this! If you play the B part of "The Mason's Apron" before the A part, does it become "The Apron's Mason". And if you mix up the parts of "Merrily Kiss The Quaker" does it become "Merrily Quake The Kisser"? Liam ... 'mon, mate! I was only jokin! No, seriously ... if you mix up the parts of "The Moving Bog" does it become "The Boggin' Move"? Fockin humourless get! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Liam Óg O'Flynn's Da Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:28 AM Oi ... Mr Lunny ... yer Donal's only after makin' our Liam cry his eyes out! He's callin' him names, so he is. Tell him to away and stop otherwise Liam won't be playin' in any more o' your Donal's bands ever again! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Donal Lunny's Da Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:30 AM Clamp yer bake, Lunny. Otherwise I'll go over there and pull the big flappy ears aff ye! No wonder your Liam's the humourless poghal that he is! He should take a leaf out of Derek Bell's book and go and get hisself some personality! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: alison Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:42 AM gawd give me strength...... if I haf to come down there and sort yis out......... yill git yer heads in yer hons so ye will... and then where'll ye be? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,The Dubliners Date: 07 Feb 02 - 06:51 AM Why should Enniskillen have all the good songs? (BOOOOOO!) This one's for Portydown! (CHEEEEEEER!) Fare thee well Edenderry and to Denny's as well And goodbye to The Tunnel – my grief is hard to tell As I bid goodbye and heave a sigh, the hour is coming soon When you'll all the see the back of your Potydown Dragoon My ship she is waitin' down by Shillington Quay There's twenty thousand bandsmen, my comrades and me We're salin' down the Bann me boys, to cross boul' Lough Neagh Cos there's loyal boys in Antrim who are dyin' to hear us play Our ship hit rough water as we rounded Croghan's isle And we struggled bloody gamely for a quarter of a mile Some wee Scottish boy on board wi' us said "Shite! We're gonny droon!" And that would be the end of the Portydown dragoons But soon the weather brightened and we motored cross the Lough We were neckin' back the Buckfast, the half of us were blocked We stopped for a picnic on the Island they call Ram's And that was where the most of our bother began Well we all disembarked and we hunkered on the ground As the weemin passed the sodie farls and buckfast all around Till someone shouted, "Jaysus, lads! Quick Swim out if yous can!" Our ship was half a mile away … and we were bloody stranded But pretty soon we got the hang of living far from land There's no one here tell us you can't march or, yes, you can Our wee Scottish comrade, he marches roon and roon And he says "Thank the Lord that I'm a Portydown Dragoon"
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Donal Lunny Date: 07 Feb 02 - 09:24 AM Hi Liam ... If you swapped the Plains of Boyle around would it become the Boils of Pain? What about The Tailor's Twist? Would it become the Twister's Tale? The Pleasures of Hope ... would it become Hoping For Pleasure? The Fair Maidens? Would that become The Fading Mare? Ah, Liam ... 'mon ... I'm only messin'! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,News at 10 Date: 07 Feb 02 - 09:53 AM BONG! (x 10) "From ITN tonight...we investigate claims of irregularities in the administration of The Drumcree MegaSession (c) For World Peace and Mutual Understanding. Good evening. Northern Ireland was reeling today from accustaions of irregularities in the administration of The Drumcree MegaSession (c) For World Peace and Mutual Understanding. It appears claims have been made that the session, a cross-community endeavour to bring peace to the divided Province, is biased in its political representation and is therefore not actually elegible for the large amounts of EU funding it has already recieved. Over to our Portadown correspondant, Aine NiCrotch." Aine NiCrotch: "I'm standing in the campsite at Drumcree, and you can see the stage behind me. The music is silent at the moment as the participants reel in horror at accusations that the session is not fully representative of all the main political parties. The International Fund for Ireland and the Lottery Commission have both requested a full investigation into this. Their funding was given on the basis of an equal-opportunity event, a criteron now called into question. The use of the EU Buckfast Lake is now likely to be suspended. A spokesman for the event told us this evening 'We did our best. We even bought them rainbow-coloured guitar straps, and lots of people had them there paper doves. It's nat our fault. We asked the Alliance Party to come along, but they said we hadn't made any provision for fences they could sit on.' Orgainisers are now in disussions as to how they can rectify this anomaly. It is thought that if members of the Alliance party change their political status for a short while then the funding could be reapproved, but this is a rather far-fetched idea. Also, the Women's Coalition have threatened to walk out if they get asked to make the tea again. With these latest developments, it is not known if the proposed bodhran decommissioning will go ahead next week. This is Aine NiCrotch, Drumcree, Portydown."
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,NEWSFLASH!!!! Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:01 AM We interrupt this broadcast with news that after last-minute negotiations with a number of private interests, funding has been secured to allow the Drumcree session to continue. A spokesman for the Drumcree session emerged ashen-faced from the all-night talks to confirm that the session would go ahead. "However" he continued "the backers have asked that we make available a choice of tonic wines to performers and punters alike." This disclosure has already led to scenes of uproar. A spokesman for Sanatogen was unavailable for comment. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Christy Moore Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:05 AM It's great to be back in th'oul fray again! Now here's one for them as doesn't reckon much of this thread! There's some that use the Mudcat think we're shite And there's others use it think that we are all alright Are you gonna quit this bollicks Youse bunch of alcoholics Well we might, there, Michael so we might There's some that use the Mudcat get the joke There's other use the Mudcat, we make boke Since you offend so many's taste Are you gonny quit this place? Well we might, there, Michael so we might There's some as think we're ignorant and rude And our jokes are very dorty, cruel and crude They think we should sling our hook From this hallowed folkies' nook Well we might, there, Michael so we might But then again some others think we're class They'd be sorry if this postin' was our last Would you not fuck the begrudgers? The grumpy oul' curmudgers? Well we might, there, Den, so we might |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,UTV Live Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:09 AM Mike Nesbitt (for it is he): "And other news tonight: following the investigation into the Drumcree Session, proximity sessions are to be held in a number of tents in the area. The Alliance Party have also agreed to attend, saying they meant "no offence" by their absence. It is hoped that the bodhran decommisioning will go ahead as planned next week, putting bodhrans permanently beyond use. It has been denied that they are to be sold to tourists." |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:14 AM By the hookie Christy youse are a rare kind of genius so y'ar... gone yourself. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Christy Moore Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:18 AM It took some doin' to get thon song writ quick ... Good to see you out, any way Derek? Have you stopped sellin' th'oul gear, then? (WHISPERS) Is it true you grassed up Holmes for Nell Flaherty's Drake? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Real Mudcatter Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:19 AM Why have you hijacked our Mudcat, you bounders? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Enya Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:21 AM Ah, give over! We got fed up hijacking buses, for God's sake! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:22 AM Oh that was never me sell'in that stuff Christy that was some friggen' impersonater. Look they have me that adjitated that I'm swearin'. Am took that wake way all that's been goin' on. Wait there's the Popes Ma am away for a blessin' good luck. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Sadie the tea woman Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:26 AM That feckin' Enya has a wild gob on 'er so she has and look at the cut of yer man there way the tee shirt way the banjo on it. A good toe in the hole would soon straighten him out wha? Are yez gettin' love? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Belfast Tele Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:30 AM There were violent clashes at the Drumcree Mega-Session yesterday when participants were attacked by a group operating under the name "Real Mudcat". It is thought that this may be another splinter group of Folk-Nazis, who have in the past gone under the names of "Continuity Mudcat", "Provisonal Mudcat", "Mudcat Defenders" and "I Can't Believe It's Not The Mudcat". This is not the first time that peace initiatives in Northern Ireland have come under attack, as anyone on the "Peace Train", which was delayed by a security alert on the line, will recall. Sir Ronnie Flanagan has said that the people of the North will not tolerate such attempts to disrupt the path to peace. Tony Blair has issued a statement that "we will not bow to the demands of the few who wish to delay bodhran decommissioning. The people of Northern Ireland have spoken, and they have said 'bodhrans now, then spoons'". |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Wullie Doyle Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:36 AM Would that be real spoons that ye ate yer dinner way or them fuckin' wooden wans that them edjits is always bangin' aff the side af yer head an you only tryin' te injoy yer pint when yer locals bin taken over by them folk ejits. See A would'nt want the real spoons decommisioned if ye folly. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Dervish Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:48 AM (CATHY JORDAN) - This is a wee song we do from time to time. Daniel O'Donnell changed the lyrics to relate to a wee thing going on at the minute between him and Enya Clannad. There's a place by the wide River Bann And it goes by the name of Drumcree The green grass is tramped into glar And the tents, they all flap in the breeze Where the orangemen made their last stand On a hill, for all who can see And there dwells the love of my heart Is ar Eirinn ni neosfainn ce hi Like a chuckie that longs for the dawn Of an Ireland united and free I long for my own cailin ban But she don't give a damn about me If she'd only stop drinkin' thon wine An' snortin' thon big lines of speed Our bodies would naked entwine Is ar Eirinn ni neosfainn ce hi
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Irish News Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:52 AM A spokesman for "Bodhrání Na Gael" said that while it was prepared to decommission bodhráns, the eventual aim was the entire "depercussionisation" of the island of Ireland. He confirmed that this extended to spoons, but also to Lambegs, side drums, snares, bass drums, bones, triangles and céilí blocks. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,N.I. Green Party Rep Date: 07 Feb 02 - 10:52 AM (clears throat) Could I just eh say something here if I could ahem I think that...what I mean to say is that I don't think that the Nothern Ireland Green Party has been fairly represented here atall so I don't. Hello ahem (blows in microphone) ehh is this...ehh is this on. This here ehh microphone...is it on atall? Nobody's listenin' to me anyway...I'll just fuck off home then will I...(loud cheers from the crowd) Fuck yez it was on all along. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,W.B. Yeats Date: 07 Feb 02 - 11:39 AM I say, you chaps ... I thought it was time some fine mellifluous, edificational poetry was declaimed for the multitudes. Hence this ode, for a dear, dear friend. Now forced, alas, to live at a distance from Grannuaile, from Kitty Mavourneen, from the Sean Bhan Bhocht, from the Star of the Sea, the Gem of the Roe, The Rose in the Heather and The Light Of The World. He is big, plays guitar In a "céad míle fáilte" bar With a nick-nack-paddy-whack Thinks he's one of us But he's never burnt a bus Hairy beard on his face Bet he wouldn't stick the pace If he nick-nack-paddy-whack Drank a rake of buck Bet he'd boke the whole lot up Never sat by the man-made lakes Buckin' purple Tennents down his bake With a nick-nack-paddy-whack Just as I had feared Too busy growin' a ginger beard He is older than me da Bet he'd fancy my oul' ma With her nick-nack-paddy-whack Wabbly double-chin Big buck teeth and hairy shins Thinks we care, aye, as if! Give us a bang on thon there spliff With a nick-nack-paddy-whack Bate your bodhrán drum Then ram the bater up your bum |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Gerry Adams Date: 07 Feb 02 - 11:44 AM The trouble with you reprehensible wee bastards is that youse have too much time on your hands! When I was your age I was fully occupied. Didn't have time to waste makin' up stupid bloody nursery rhymes to wind people up! If you ask me what this place needs is a bit of good oul' political foment ... that would give you something to think about! Now ... win' it in! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,David Trimble Date: 07 Feb 02 - 11:48 AM I agree with my right honourable friend (fingers crossed behind back) Gerry. Yez are a bun'le of ga'er-ups, the lot of yez! If I had my way I'd be roun' your houses this minute breakin' your knees and nailin' your heads to the toilet door! But since I'm a democrat and always have been, I'll l'ave that sorty 'hing till the boys and the army and the peelers.
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,WB Yeats Date: 07 Feb 02 - 11:50 AM Sorry Gerry! Sorry David! Thon Craigavon hoods kidnapped me and forced me to write thon doggerel! I've never burnt a bus in my life, honest! I jus' write poems about trout and gravestones and things. Don't hit me! Again! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Seamus Mallon Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:25 PM I just new it would come to this. I new youse would'nt be able to laev the politics out of it. I turn me back for a minute and there yiz are at it again. Did that trip to Washington not larn yiz nuthin'. Ah well what fuck do I care. I'm well out of it now. Here is anybody goin' fornenst Downpatrick? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Brian Downey Date: 07 Feb 02 - 02:45 PM Here Gino this depercussionisation is scary stuff wha? I mean to say what's one bodhran player more less, nuthin' personal now Gino but it could affect serious musicians like meself. We could be driven underground boy. Its dark days ahead I think for the old skin spankers wha'. I mean (looks round furtively) who gives a fuck about lambegs wha? Sure there's no music in them feckin' things. When was the last time you seen one a them glipes in a band uniform live at the Marquee, staggerin' round the stage with the face blazin' aff him unner the strain a that big arse drum and too much Bushmills, wha? But where will it end wha? Do ye think them boys is goin' to stop at drums? No by Christ once Adams and Trimble and Blair get her goin' it'll be them big gongs next... member like thon one I had when I was with Lizzy. mark my words boy it'll all happen before there's much more hair on your bake, good luck. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Scene from Stormont Date: 07 Feb 02 - 07:23 PM Speaker of the house: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this afternoon we would like to table an emergency debate concerning an illegal music festival in Portadown. Please raise your hand if you would like to make a point...ahh yes the chair recognizes the Minister for Education Mr. McGuinness. Martin McGuiness: Mr.Speaker I just wanted to say that Mr.Paisley is writting things on my note book so he is. Ian Paisley: That's a lie. I did not. MG: Yes he did Mr.Speaker. Speaker: What things? MG: He wrote all taigs are horny bastards and Sinn Feinn/IRA are a bunch of hoors gets Speaker: Did you write those things Mr. Paisley? IP: I did not and I don't know what he's gettin' at so I don't. Speaker: This is a serious accusation Mr. McGuinness how can you prove that it was Mr. Paisley that wrote these things. MG: Because he signed his name under it. And then he wrote I love Eileen so I do and Ballymena for the cup. Speaker:(groans) Order, order. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Meanwhile back at the ranch ... Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:05 AM The crack continues!
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Donal Lunny Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:09 AM Hi, Liam, what was thon tunes thon boys was playin' in thon session las' night? The boys all dressed up in thon fancy outfits with the braids and pipin'? |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,David Trimble's pimple Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:15 AM Ahhhh now lads it's the pimple speaking, now, you know your owner is really something when he has a song written about his arse. Little did I think I'd be highlighted in the song archives... PS... little does David know - the grease doesn't work, I just let him think it does... apart from that be quiet know, I'm busy concentrating on working up a fair size boil ... I quite like my little ditty, very clever words really. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
My name is David Trimble I'm nifty, neat and nimble
V) It's just a little orange pimple, so soft and cute and simple
I met my loyal Bretheren, a most unhappy gathering
V) And my little Orange pimple grew as hard as any thimble
Say I to Sir Hugh Ainsley, 'No matter what your plans may be
V) And my little Orange pimple grew as hard as any thimble
The people of Garvaghey, you couldn't keep them happy
V) And my little Orange pimple grew as hard as any thimble
Here's a health to Paddy Mayhew, Hugh Ainsley and his gay crew
V) And my little Orange pimple grew as hard as any thimble
My name is David Trimble, I was nifty neat and nimble
And my little Orange pimple, so soft and cute and simple
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Liam Óg O'Flynn Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:18 AM (CONSULTS NOTEBOOK) Let me see ... There was a set of reels - The Humours of Loughbrickland/Painting The Kerbs. A set of slip jigs - The Two-Mile Swagger/Shin The Lamp-post/The Stalwart's Jig A polka set - unusual that for this part of the world! - The Augher Gathering/Bitter As Gall/Claddin' The Cops. And then a set of ... Hey! (LUNNY SNATCHES O'FLYNN'S NOTEBOOK AND RUNS OFF WITH IT, AND REGROUPS WITH ANDY IRVINE, MATT MOLLOY, TOMMY PEOPLES AND BARNEY MCKENNA.) Da ... thon wee shite's bullyin' me again! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Liam Óg O'Flynn's Da Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:22 AM Oh, Liam ... shut up for Christs sake! Just gub 'im if he's bawrin' you. Else thon's the way it is! I can't be doin' with you yappin' and rhymin'! |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Donal Lunny Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:32 AM (SNIGGERS) Look what he's writ down here! "I think Jean Butler's got a really sexy backside and I love to watch her dancing, so I do! She could fill my bag and finger my chanter any day!" And here, look! "Donal Lunny is a big, fat, hairy-arsed bully and some day my da is going to knowck seven coulours of shit out of his da. And then we'll see who's the big man." (LUNNY THROWS NOTEBOOK TO THE GROUND) Well, bugger your da and my da. C'mon O'Flynn! I'll take you on, right here, right now. I never liked you. Or your sensible clothes. Or your wee gerny gub. Or your oul' ma and da, your sister and your big buck goat! (MOLLOY, MCKENNA, IRVINE AND PEOPLES START A ROUSING CHANT ... "Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight ..." LUNNY TAKES OFF HIS FAIR-ISLE TANKTOP (£6.99 from Dunne's in Craigavon Shopping Centre ... part of their marine collection) AND ROLLS UP THE SLEEVES OF HIS COLLARLESS ETHNIC-TYPE SHIRT (£4.99 in Primark in Dundalk).) |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,A spokesman from the Bodhran industry Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:33 AM Yon news o' the planned depercussionisation of oul' Ireland has us all worried an' dismayed doun here in Roun'stone so it has. Don't thon feckers from the Bodhran Decommissioning Body an' General de Pipestelain know how this will affect the economy of Southern Connemara? Christy...you said you kneel in awe, so now we're counting on yer support fer the cause. An' wi' big feckers like Gino an' John Joe Kelly, we'd be a force to be reckioned wi', so we would! Let's unite an' "Wallop" thon hoors... |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,A STATEMENT FROM THE DECOMMISSIONING BODY Date: 08 Feb 02 - 04:44 AM The proposed depercussionalisation of the Island of Ireland has been embraced by a wide cross-section of popular opinion and is already well underway. We are now canvassing opinion on two further initiatives which, it is hoped, will have long-term benefits for the Irish Musical Tradition. The first is the "dealienisation" of Irish Music. This means, in effect, the banning of all instruments which are not native to the tradition. For example, the didgeridoo, the nose-flute and the pan-pipes, the castanets, the marimba and the "comb-and-paper". The second is the "deaccompanisation" of music, which refers to the removal of all forms of accompaniment. Under this proposal, the solo performance (on a ntaive instrument - see above) will be reinstated to its rightful place as the highest form of artistic expression in Irish music. Two instruments may perform together, provided that they are "native" and that they play in unison. Views are welcome until end-February, following which the proposals, however revised, will be effected. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Malachy Kearns Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:10 AM ahhhhhh shite. And me with shed loads of the things.... (runs off to start printing, I support my local bodhran maker, save the bodhran, and I love to wallop stickers)
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Nanny O'Goat Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:22 AM Will youse feckers spare a fecking thought for us goats here we are shagging away tae provide youse with best quality skin for yer feckin bodhrans and then youse are going to depercussionalise. Make yer fecking minds up |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,NEWSFLASH!!!! Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:29 AM Gardai in County Galway have confirmed the discovery a large percussion dump in the town of Roundstone. A trained percussion defusal squad is on hand. A spokesman said. "Jaysus. But it was desperate, right enough. There was enough goatskin on all of the bodhráns in thon place to make a waistcoat for Eamonn Holmes. Or a biker jacket for Gino Lupari." Police in Northern Ireland are warning people to be on the look-out. Music shops with "Book of Kells"-type lettering are best-avoided. If you come upon a suspicious bodhrán, contact your local police station and a squad of highly trained bodhrán defusal experts will be despatched immediately. Hardware shops are reporting a huge surge is sales of Stanley knives as squads of "Percussion Vigilantes" have formed in most major population centres in Irekand, North and South. Christy Moore is helping police with their enquiries. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Newsflash! Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:29 AM Reuters... Commotion broke out outside the headquarters of the Bodhran Decommissioning Body this morning. Witnesses reported hearing several extremely loud thumps followed by a fusillade of rimshots and several further bangs. Another bystander claimed to have seen several large men, all carrying suspicious circular packages running away from the scene. Police reported that a coded message claimed the attack was the work of the 5th Flying Bodhran Brigade and it is also thought that a woman getaway driver was also involved. When interviewed later by detectives, Cathy Jordan claimed that she was elsewhere at the time of the daring raid, doing a silly dance during a Dervish performance at the Drumcree Gathering with thousands of witnesses. Also interviewed, Malachy Kearns said he was not involved although he was quoted as saying "I hope the big boys gave the feckers a mighty good wallopin'". End of report... |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,NEWSFLASH!!!! Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:38 AM A policeman was treated for shock after being subjected to a drive-by "batterin'" last night. The officer was standing guard outside "Lupari's", a well-known purveyor of the now-illegal bodhrán drum, when two men on a motorbike screeched to a halt outside the shop and subjected him to his thirty-second ordeal. The officer said "The driver produced a 16" deerskin from under his coat and proceeded to give it "Liverpool-Everton, Liverpool-Everton" for at least four bars. At which point his accomplice, on the pillion, produced an 18" tunable with a cut-out and gave it "Rashers-and-eggs-and-lashings-of-sausages" for a further four or five bars." The officer was rushed to Altnagelvin Hospital, where he was subjected to intensive solo recordings of John Doherty, Leo Rowsome and Willie Clancy. He is said to have made a complete recovery. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,"SAVE THE DRUM" leaflet Date: 08 Feb 02 - 05:44 AM SAVE THE DRUM (STD) Campaign Decorated with swirly Celtic knotwork and poem by Seamus Heaney: ---------------- A rush in the ears a spill of notes across the bog and I remember it - bodhran! Childhood has gone now and we move to culmination, the beat firm and quick, the skin taut as the rhythm grows pulsating and pounding She bucks to my touch. Hecabe knew the grief of a lost child as Troy fell. She wreaks her vengence on the blind. And on our shores the pulse and the tap of shoes, hearts, and drum. |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Newsflash! Date: 08 Feb 02 - 06:03 AM Associated Press... It was reported this morning that an Irish Coastguard vessel The Uillean intercepted and boarded a vessel The Tipper as it tried to sneak into Schull harbour in remote West Cork. Coastguards found a large but as yet undeternimed number of illegal bodhrans on board. It is believed that thay were on their way to the Popular Front for Ruining a Session and had originated in Pakistan. Bodhran Decommisssioning Body chief General de Pipestelain declared himself satisfied with the find and contratualted the Coastguard authorities saying "In many ways, these imported percussion pieces are more dangerous and unpredictable than the locally-made variety. It takes the greatest care from a highly trained decommissioning expert to put one beyond use." A local goat, Nanny O'Goat was reported as saying "This is a major success by the authorities. These cheaply-shagged Asian skins are vastly inferior to what we produce here in Connemara. We must however remain vigilant against this insidious spread of anti-percussionism". Malachy Kearns also congratulated the authorities saying "Why would anyone want to procure one of these highly dangerous devices when they can have a real one with a painted Celtic Knot guaranteed to last 300 years..!" Waltons refused to comment on the news... |
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Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree III From: GUEST,Malachy Kearns Date: 08 Feb 02 - 06:04 AM Ahhh Christy, say nothing, I'll be round now - Oi've at least a roll of old punts I need to get rid o. I've had them under me mattress. And I never said that sentance, wot was said... I hope the big boys gave the feckers a mighty good wallopin'". Nah, not me! Right, so... I have got me a big old bundle of stickers, who wants one. I heart to wallop wallop your heart out lads anyone for a wallop save the wallop wallop wallopers united ra ra ra |
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