BS: MCFAT comes out

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 03:10 PM

I love the way you crawl its so nice to know that I am loved for my talents Kampervan!

I can sew, garden, do massage and only ever speak when I am spoken to:) I can also attend to a man's needs - you know cleaning the bath out, hoovering, providing hot cups of tea, handcuffs, fetching ale like any good wench should

By the way would that mean we will be Mr and Mrs Kampervan ( I got a Romahome before Xmas!!) How's that future step daughter of mine?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 20 Mar 04 - 04:15 PM

Well that's all very well, future spouse of mine (get lost MC), and submissive is great sometimes, but don't be a doormat! I like assertive ..... and what's that mcfat/kampervan duel thread that I spy???????

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 06:56 AM

well Kampervan, I dont think anyone would call me a doormat - wrong shape - closer to a doorstep me thinks!!

looking forward to the duel!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 09:59 AM

Nothing wrong with the shape oh lovely one; just checking out the spirit; and it checks out just fine. Here's to the future.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:38 PM

Am I too late for extra verses?
If not... (recalling Jim's performances of (high?) numbers from the pen of Pete Townsend..):-

He came to the concert, with music in mind.
He thought they'd be happy. He thought they'd be kind.
Or maybe he thought they'd be deaf, dumb and blind.
For MacDonald was playing a banjo.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:48 PM

Ole ole.
It just gets better and better!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 05:12 AM

Will someone kindly pass me a sickbag, what nausiating tosh from vamperkan

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:20 AM

..aw shucks

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:07 AM

What's the bag for Raggy? To put over Mc's head?
It won't help R&WR will have a new spouse, and trying to make jom look more presentable just won't help.
Anywway if you can't say anything nice
then you must be thinking of........................... your liege

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:55 AM

Just who is this Vamping Clone Rabbit, are you out of your mind with passion (for a certain gallant nobleman, who is beyond your reach)that you prostrate yourself before such low born vagabonds

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:38 PM

oh insult me all you like. It just bounces off my ring of self confidence.
R&WR knows a good man when she sees one. Well she's seen enough of McFat to know what she doesn't want.
And as for you - hanging on to his banjo strings - well you should find yourself a real gentleman to squire for; not that no good refugee from north of the border.

Don't allow yourself to be used. You can rejoin the human race. Just cut yourself loose from that apology for.... whatever he thinks he is.

And I notice that he's not backing you up in this thread. Where is he eh? Skulking I shouldn't wonder. Letting you take the knocks that should be his.

Come on down big Jim.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Raggytash
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:22 PM

Oh Sad, is this the quality of our oppostion my Leige, yawn, ......

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:10 AM

He's still silent though!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 04:44 AM

So you think I'm silent......Silent but Deadly (or is that just after 10 pints of stout) It's the quiet ones you should fear Kamper for they might just nick your hubcaps and covet whatever you have worth coveting if coveting all right for you.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM

Silent --   like a fart eh? Appears from nowhere, creates a nasty smell, then disappears without doing any real damage.
Yeah, sounds about right.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 02:37 PM

now its getting below the belt!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:57 PM

My lovely love, soon to be mine; I'd rather that you did not have to witness such sites, or sights.
They are not for such beautiful and sensitive souls such as yours.
If your delicate sensiblities have been offended then the manner of MC's demise shall be even slower, more painful, more offensive, bloodier and altogether more gruesome than even the worst of his own songs.
And that's saying something.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:26 AM

Kampervan watch out !!! I may just let the air out of your tyres !!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:19 AM

I hope you all realise that if you sung a parody, or different words, to my melody Glencoe, you must pay me royalties! I will, however not pursue this as my name is McLean, not Campbell.
Cheers, keep it up,
Jim (McLean)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:30 AM

Thanks Jim will pay your royalties in your favourite dram or two when our paths cross. Hope you are not offended. I am a McDonald after all (even if it is a McDonald of Sleat)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 11:33 AM

KAMPERVAN - perhaps the manner of McFAT's demise should be of the type practised in past centuries where parts of him come out - one at a time !

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 02:04 PM

Sounds good to me. Preferably through the smallest of his orifices, and that would be ?????? the hole in his head where his brain should be.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 02:41 PM

we've been runmbled by a proper musician!! Jim McClean - bet he doesnt murder Glencoe with a banjo!!

Dont remember last years duels being as blood thirsty - you need to think of some songs to trade blows with boys!!

Something like The Rape of Glencoe with its death to McDonald could be very apt - I'm sure someone will help Jim out with some punishments for Kampervan as I couldnt possibly tink of anything to hurt my new beloved!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 03:09 PM

I did once hear an additional verse to my song, written by someone with a grudge against the McDonalds:

The Campbell's a name that is feared far and wide,
They played against Scotland on King William's side,
But one crime they'll never be able to hide..
The didnae get all the McDonalds!!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 04:08 PM

I'll gladly pay royalties, performance fees, bribes, under-the-counter cash, over-the-counter cheques, drinks, underwrite record sponsorship deals, and bribe NME to get that verse added to the song and broadcast to the world.
It's just so true...
How could they have missed McFat.
PS feeling very honoured to have the writer of such a world famous song on the thread (even if his name is the same as deadly enemy No1) and I'm sure I'd be very happy to join the queue to stand him a drink

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Jim McLean
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 06:06 PM

Thanks Kampervan AND McFat, I'm enjoying this but that verse is strictly spurious .... although a few drams might reveal the author!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:35 AM

Might need to buy a distillery Jim !!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:38 AM

I'm impressed the top three threads

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 05:00 AM

Impressed the top three threads what?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 06:02 AM

Dunno Vicky dearest but this thread has had the stars coming out !!! You included sweetie

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:24 AM

You smooth talking devil, you.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 10:19 AM

Works every time! Thanks honey - you're a true gent! Perhaps you could teach that 2nd of yours some manners! :o)

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 04:15 PM

Well now we all know the sad, unvarnished truth about our former hero McFat. We thought he was one of us, a supporter of the tradition. Which tradition isn't important, but it certainly wasn't the b***j* tradition.
He's been well and truly outed and so I think that now is the time for all good people to come to the aid of the....(have i read these words somewhere before?) ....well if you want to register your distaste for his despicable actions, his deceit and his betrayal of R&WR (who believed him to be a GOD); then take a stand. Go onto the McFAt/Kampervan duel thread and tell that necrotic apology for a string plucker what you think of him.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 25 Mar 04 - 07:51 PM

By the way, Jim.
Is it your own banjo?
What sort is it?
Who made it?
How long have you played?
We really need to know.
Quack!
Geoff the Duck.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 01:47 AM

Kampervan if you had any wits about you you would have noticed the dastardly MCfat is trying to use this thread to steal away your support - he's back using that McDonanld charm to try and woo your lass - deanmeister did warn you he played dirty

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 01:51 AM

another verse

They needed to know, McDonald please tell
Your own banjo true or one made in hell
And to play it did you have your soul for to sell
Does the Devil now own you McDonald?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 04:30 AM

No I coveted the banjo from a monkey hanger. Don't know who made it but it was a six string version tuned in 'Nashville Guitar Tuning' That's the technical bit now can we get back to being silly.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 26 Mar 04 - 02:26 PM

The banjo it came from some place in the North
Hanging monkeys for them was a matter of course
Nashville style was the tuning so 'get off yer horse'
And make like that monkey McDonald

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:22 AM

Cheeky Monkey !!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 04:41 AM

Doomed monkey

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 07:22 AM

Oi Krimpingvan, keep the threats to one thread please, how can I insult you on one thread if you respond on another, it's not fair to our avid readership. So play up and play the game

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 11:00 AM

Oh god - we're not going to get all that drivel about "There's a breathless hush in the close tonight " are we ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Kampervan
Date: 29 Mar 04 - 02:21 PM

Don't be such a spoilsport shaggyrash.
It'll keep you on your toes.
You never know where the next penetrating observation (insult) will appear.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 03:58 AM

Just spotted this one MC Fat's public accounts....
Check out number 1, then ask if your accountant is doing his job right.
I would at least expect Danger Money to be allowable!
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: MC Fat
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 04:15 AM

What are accounts Geoff ?

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 30 Mar 04 - 06:35 AM

Well - I know that everybody says we can't hold you accountable for your actions...
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Red and White Rabbit
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 12:52 AM

McFat - dont forget that under the terms of our agreement half your money is mine - dont see your accountant taking that into consideration

McDonald and money! - please everyone think
Not accountant but wife and and somewhere to drink
And three legged horses taking him to the brink
Yes its bankruptsy for this McDonald

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: GUEST,padgett
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 03:17 AM

definition of perfect pitch
throwing a banjo down a well without touching the sides

MC Fat Whitby August 2002!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Big Bird
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 06:30 AM

Ah, how the mighty have fallen!

Subject: RE: BS: MCFAT comes out
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 31 Mar 04 - 08:02 AM

When he played on the banjo, he soon hit a glitch.
The audience said that they had perfect pitch.
Then they picked him up, and threw him in a ditch.
The banjo, it followed McDonald.

Loud was the "Splat" as he landed like that.
the poor "ditching" boy, McDonald.
Dull was the "Thud" as he went in the mud,
and the banjo it followed McDonald.

A bit far fetched - the picking him up - but I'm using my poetic licence (provisional HGV)!

Quack!
GtD.