Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:31 PM

What a cheery little song. Any chance I can get to hear you play it live one of these days, Clinton?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 04:54 PM

Oh... hahahahahaha.... Now there's a joke play on my name that I've NEVER seen before... wow guest... you sure are original...

You're pulling our collective legs aren't you Clit? Of course you've heard people call you clit before!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:03 PM

Ya think guest?

Maybe it was sarcasm a little bit?

Just maybe...

what a passle of wieners....

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 05:04 PM

sarcasm? YOU?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,IMHO
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:36 PM

How many in a passle? Is it an old west-Texas town?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 12:06 AM

John - as mentioned in our personal PM's

You have a confirmed hire at the end of July - where shall meet - and how many hamsters would you like for a 30 minute trip?

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

f you have a preference let me know, pink, blue, yellow, punk, gay?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Gurney
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 07:10 AM

Nah, jOhn, don't you do it. Taxi-drivers work nights, they get beaten up and knifed for their takings.....
You be a gardener. Who's going to take on a guy with muscles and carrying a spade.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 10:57 AM

jOhn, whatever you do, keep it legal. You will carry on being screwed by the system unless you play by its rules. All power to you my friend, and thanks for the entertainment. And to think I once accused you of piss-poor syntax!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Mrs Eddie Whatnoll
Date: 10 Jul 04 - 01:26 PM

I 'appen to know for a fact that jOhn's syntax is bloody well impeccable, as is 'is taste in footwear. That jOhn is a credit to 'Ull, 'e is. I only wish 'e would run for public orifice. I would vote for 'im wivout 'esitation.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Turnstile Threadbare
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:42 AM

Oi loik 'im, oi do. jOhn's a roight good lad 'e is.And wot's this tax 'e pays on syn? Mark up on guiff is it?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,TT
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:44 AM

Sorry. Got me g mixed wif me q. Should be quiff.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 12:51 PM

Now that's an idea! Run for local politics. You'd be a lot better than many in office John. We could have a Cllr John MBE (Taxi driver and bar)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: KJ
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 01:43 PM

jOhn, what about your donkey? How u going to look after it if your driving a taxi? Will it not miss its diet of curries?CT.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:45 AM

Listen John.......If you opt for the taxi gig and see a whore that looks like Jodie Foster, leave her alone...I mean completely alone!!! That'd be my advice anyway.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: bengi
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:50 AM

You protecting your girls, catspaw49?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: mcgrathof altcar
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 08:32 AM

Did you get my PM to you jOhn?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,BIG ANDY
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:14 AM

I fired a cannon at Hull once and it made £15 of improvements

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 11:15 PM

...best laugh from print I've had in a while. jOhn is a genius...I would be honored to have a note from jOhn that began "Dear Bastard next door..." Seriously, consider the idea of collecting your posts and publishing them...it would be more practical and less stressful than driving a hack....

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 12:15 AM

Take the JOB - a quid in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Most of the Hull-Taxi night business is "college" hooker students....they tip well....and like a steady man for backup.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 05:43 AM

jOhn you could maybe do a job share with the curry ship, deliver humans and curries, not necessarily at the same time.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:15 AM

jOhn, you may also want to consider doing a "job swop" for a while to America, all part of your career development opportunities. Make up your own mind after reading the following quote from a possible future American taxi colleague.

"Hey I'm just a regular man, nothing special. I can't stand dummies, perverts,idiots, and morons. Especially crack idiots, and yo yos. I just want to drive and arrive alive. I have a right to have a good day, and so do you. Try driving cabs my way. I drove for another cab co and my first year I disarmed 3 knives, 2 guns, 3 windshields, and a back glass, put a few people in the hospital and I had to go there too. I only got robbed 1 time.
All of this changes you. It makes you want to run clientel instead. Get a cell phone, and take care of those who want to ride with you, and a whole new world emerges. Believe me, riding around laughing and joking and talking with your friends. There's no better way to make money. Now I have my own company, a good wife, and 6 wonderful children. And have no problems if my wife wants to drive.
Love and friends is the way to go.
Peace be with you!"
Scott brown
all american taxi
538 e. Mercury blvd.
Hampton, va. 23663
(757)-265-9999

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:28 AM

BLOODY HELL!!!! i just clicked onto the photo of jOhn in Bill D's post somewhere up above, and sure enough, there is jOhn playing his fiddle. BUT, sat next to him is Penny, my current beloved! Is there something I should know jOhn? Has she transfered her affections to your good self?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 09:37 AM

The answer is yes Ted, and they are eloping to America as soon as jOhn can get through quarantine and purchase a big yellow taxi...a sort of curry yellow

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 11:08 AM

It's not John's knee Penny's got her hand on though. Seems to me John's not the one you need to be worried about...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 04:19 PM

Come on over to us jOhn you will be very welcome

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Jul 04 - 11:12 PM

heloo, its not me waht Penny [Mrs Ted] is feeling up, its another bloke, so dont bloddy blaming me then.

anyway= i thinking of bean a truck driver as well, becouse i know one bloke called jOhnnOrfolk, and he got a truck driving bisniss, and i worked fpor im before, and you can drive big truck, and go to scot land, and get over night money, and sleep in the truck and keep it, [ie keep the money] [i think its about 30 quid, but that was a few yeerwss ago, so it might be more now].

any way= good thing about truck driver job= no pissed up arse holoes beeen sick etc in yoiure taxi, becouse its not a taxi, its a truck, and you dont taking no passingers. [anbd serves them right!]

i think Erik the Vicking been a truck driver as well, [i talked to him in wales, but i was pissed, so i cant rember waht he said, but i thgink he bean a truck driver]

anbyway=if you a truck driver, you can get big brekfusts, like fryied bread etc, [and tomaotoes and things like that]
my frend called Fat Pat was a truck driver, but he got disabeld, he got a bad back, and now he got a free car, becouse he is too fat too work.]

[iyts called disabeld benefit [fat bloke benefit]
[if you get relly fat, you can get goverment benefits]


i;m going to finfd out about this.john

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:21 AM

anywaty=i think i spelled tomar toes wrong, but i;m not botherd this is music [and taxi driver etc] site, not spelllingf site,
some people like to showing off whith there spelling [look at me, i can spelling etc], they think they bloody great, but they not, they rubbish]

you think spelling is importunt?
it isent!
truck driving is importanyt=i explane why=

everetything in your house, and evertyinhg you eat, has been on a truck, so=
if there was no drivers, you woud starve to death, and have no telly, so just think about it,...
and wehn you see any truck drivers, you shoud say thank you to them, becouse you would be right in thr shit without them, so just think about it.

office people are rubbish,they just sit in therer office and fart all day, and the drivers etc do all the work, but office people think they bloddy great, just becouse they good at spelling [wankers].

and anyway# if ypou go to hospitul for operation, do you think the operation bloke is good at spelling?
no=well then.

you coud go to heart by pass place and say " is that heart docotr good at spelling, and if they say no, waht you going to do then?, probly die, thats waht!


[taxi driver and truck driverr don;t neeed to be good at spelling.


and tyhanks LEs , for saying good things about my driving, [les and maggie been in my car, ands loads of hull people]


and I am Class 3 Advanced Driver, and i droved loads of miles,
and i only had 2 acccidents in my life, and they was not my fault
1=i was pissed
and 2 i dident have my glassis on, and dident see the other car.


and i drove oveer 500,000 miles, and tyhats the only acciddents i had.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:27 AM

anyway=only reeson i dident have my glassies on= i dident were glasses at that time, i only started to wear glasses after i crashed.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: el ted
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 04:18 AM

Actually, I now realise that the knee in question is mine! I had forgotten that Sorcha took that photo in the glorious Adelphi Club. Panic over.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 04:40 AM

Sir jOhn, you'd be wasted as a taxi-driver. You should be Writer-in Residence at Hull University, teaching Creative Writing classes. Your unique style (James Joyce meets nigel moelesworth meets Johnny Vegas) needs to be preserved for the nation.

RtS
(Is it a coincidence that MPs want to abolish knighthoods now jOhn's awarded himself one?)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: s6k
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 06:15 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHA. it gives me much joy to come on here and read j0hns post. a genius in the making...

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 14 Jul 04 - 12:21 PM

You are right JoHn I have been a delivery driver in one of my other lives. I've been lots of things. Truck driving is fun. And, you are also right about the lower importance of spelling. Spelling is only recent compared to language which is our first form of communication. Much spelling has been foisted upon us by the ruling classes or accademics who wouldn't know how to drive a truck or mend a burst pipe.( You are also quite right about the middle and upper classes who feel and act as though they are superior to the working/lower classes)The same goes for grammar. The English, pronounciation is only recent, last 150 years or so ("BBC" and Queen type)

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,Paul from Hull sans biscuit
Date: 15 Jul 04 - 05:40 AM

Sir jOhn, you mean all that time I spent learning to spell was WASTED?

ASRE!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:23 AM

heloo, i been thinking about this a bit more=
if you driver for meet pie company, you can eat loads of meet pies, just tell them that you dropped them!

[and cakes as well, [if you work fore cake compoany]

i going to ring up some meetpie and cake places, see if they want any drivers.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:56 AM

Did'nt tony and twojags tell you Eric that we are living in a classless society?

No class, just more fat rich bastards getting richer whilst the rest of us poor fucking wage slaves get poorer.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 01:59 AM

I reckon Eric would be nackered if it was a classless society, [he;s a scool teecher]!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 02:00 AM

LOL That last post of yours, jOhn, did me in. Good thing I'm sitting here alone- my HA!! would have scared anyone nearby our of his socks, it would.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 05:42 AM

jOhn you are in a class of your own

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sweetfia
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:39 AM

Well i'm proud to say I know you jOhn!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 11:37 AM

John, in the west end of London the latest thing seems to be pedal-powered rickshaw-like taxis. Why don't you get one and pioneer the idea in 'Ull ?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:50 PM

Truck driving man


I stoped at a roadhouse in Texas
A little place called Humberger Inn
I heard that old pike boxi morning
A true called Truck driving man
The waitress then brought me some caffee
I thanked her but called her again
I said this old song sure does hit me
'Cause I am a truck driving man



    Pour me another cup of caffee
    For it is the best in the land
    I'll put a quarter in the jukebox
    And play the truck driving man



I climbed back aboard my old diesel
And true like a flash I was gone
I got them big truck wheels to rollin'
Now I'm on my way to SunAnton
When I get my call up Glory
And then take me away from this land
I'll cry my truck up to heaven
'Cause, I'm truck driving man

* Refrain

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Blowzabella
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:56 PM

jOhn - you really are a gem!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:58 PM

Now that you are Sir jOhn, are you too good to join us in the chat room?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 06:59 PM

So good in fact that next time I'm at the footie I'm gonna hang up a sign that says jOhn 16:1:59 in honour of the time it got posted.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:03 PM

Truck Drivin' Song"

I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

My diesel rig is northward bound
It's time to put that hammer down
Just watchin' as the miles go flyin' by
I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel
But it's sure hard to hold the wheel
While I'm waiting for my nails to dry

Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror
And my pink angora sweater fits so tight
I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight
Well, I sure hope my seams are straight
Lord, don't let my mascara run tonight

Because I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Smokey's on my tail and my accelerator's stuck
Got these eighteen wheels-a-rollin' until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me
And my nipple rings don't bother me too much
But when I hit those big speed bumps
My darling little rhinestone pumps
Keep slippin' off the mother-lovin' clutch

But still I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Headin' down the interstate, just tryin' to make a buck
Wearin' feather boas with sequins and chiffon
While I'm drivin' a truck with my high heels on

I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a truck
Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck
And I'm late for my appointment down at my hair salon
So I'll be drivin' a truck with my high heels on

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:08 PM

I 'spose spelling is important if you want to write lyrics like these.But if you are well off, you can get a secretary to write them for you.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 07:13 PM

BigPinkLad,
If I had a Bible handy, it would be worth looking up jOhn 16:1:59 to see what it says!

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 08:29 AM

Viking, my secretary just translated and explained your 'trucker argot' and I must say it is jolly good. How refreshing to hear a whole lyric from your pen that doesn't involve sheep.

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 10:14 AM

What's a "footie"?

Subject: RE: Sir jOhn From Hull-taxi driver
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 10:27 AM

jOhn, my love, I am counting on you, in fact, America is counting on you to unite the taxi drivers and long haul truckers of the UK behind Mrs. Fillmore. Launch her into toydom and show America you care.